Hey, Jude!

Whether you’re a fan of Rude Jude (@rude_jude on Twitter or @onemorejude on Instagram), The All Out Show, The Jason Ellis Show, Jenny Jones, Detroit, Bathroom Attendants, Pills, or Ketamine… we’ve got you. Rude Jude agreed to answer some questions for his fans, no matter how relevant they may be. If you’re still reeling from the high you got off his book, Hyena, and need another taste, hopefully this will help satisfy your Judo craving. Afterall, he decided to do this for all of us fans.

hyenaYou worked hard to write and promote your own book, Hyena. Do you feel like it’s been worth your efforts? Do you have plans to, or would you write another book? And if so, would you do anything differently?
Dude I gotta tell you, I wouldn’t have done anything different. the self publishing rout is a lot of work and pretty stressful but worth it. These stories are 3-4 years old most of them and it took this long to edit them and put the book together and get the art work. But in the end, it’s all my vision, no compromise. I just couldn’t deal with some never been anywhere, suit motherfucker telling me what part of my life I could tell. So you work harder. My goal is to take the proven product somewhere bigger and have them push it.

I wanna keep writing but right now, I’m in sell mode. Sell sell sell sell. It’s using a completely different part of the brain. The idea of being creative…. I can’t even wrap my head around.

Which was the most difficult story in Hyena to write about (if any), or were there any you were afraid of writing due to possible backlash from family/friends?
It’s weird, certain stories would just hit me. I was writing Animal Planet which is just about how we grew up, how it was cool to dog girls and shit and how the chicks would try to get over on us too.

There’s this part in the story where I ask my homeboy why he let his girl dog him so bad, he says cuz he didn’t think he was good enough for anyone else. I write “I get it” and start welling up. like I’m about to cry off of “I get it.” That surprised me I didn’t plan on crying but I do get it, I understand not liking yourself and the shit you do because of it.

There are other stories in there like about my mom and dad that are pretty hard. Or when I’m writing about the shitty stuff I did to my ex that hit me in the heart….

As far as backlash one of my exes, i have two worth mentioning, one of them cut me off. She won’t talk to me. Surprisingly not the one I thought was gonna cut me off. I haven’t given it to my old man yet either. I’m kind of avoiding that. And he’s too cheap to buy it so I’m good for a while….. I almost put a smiley face after that last sentence.

What’s the most annoying assumption people make about you? Is it when fans are surprised to find out that you’re not black, when fans ask you about your “Jenny Jones” days, or something else?
Man I do well with people making the wrong assumptions, college mother fuckers think I’m dumb because of the way that I speak. Hood motherfuckers think that I’m lame because of the way that I look. And cops think that I’m sober because of the way that I dress. Let people underestimate you then do you and blow them away.

What would you say if Ellis got his own channel and offered you a show on it? Or if you were offered a spot on TJES, what would you say? And if you took the show to the Ellis channel, would you bring Lord Sear?
I’d love to do a talk show. I just like that pacing so much. Would I bring Sear? You ever hear me have a conversation with him?

judeNow that you’re out of Swinghouse and in the new studio, has anyone blown you in the new studio yet? And who is the hottest chick that works in the building?
Yeah. I got that out of the way pretty quick. It’s weird I did it just to do it. It was for the show. Like I had set some head precedent in every other studio and I just had to keep it going.To be honest with you, now that the book is out, I’ve been on some self reflective, sober, try not to fuck everything that moves kick and I kind of like it…. Hottest chick in the building? I gotta say, for being in LA, we work in one of the ugliest buildings ever. There’s some 45 year old secretary who’s got a big ass booty I like to look at, but her face looks like Gargamel (smurfs)

If you could have the choice of having anyone co-host your radio show for a week, dead or alive, who would it be and why?
I was gonna say somebody deep like Socrates or something but then I was like, that mother fucker doesn’t even know english… So….Richard Pryor. His comedy was honest and nasty…just like mine…. I didn’t realize it till now, but I guess I got some of my style from him.

If you had to commit to one sex position for the rest of your sex life… which would it be and why?
It seems like the chick on top would be the best for them so they could control the rhythm… but fuck that missionary with the legs stack so I could dig up in there and look her in the face at the same time.

Where do you stand on the whole girls wearing leggings as pants issue? For or against?
Um for for for. Have you seen that shit? Ass Ass Ass. What I’m against is these chicks showing up to the airport in their pajamas with a pillow. Bitch this ain’t slumber party, fuck your comfort. You’re in your 20s be a fuckin adult.

You said your last experience with PCP took a piece of you. Do you feel like you gained anything from it? And would you ever smoke that Sherm again?
It humbled me and gave me patience for myself and other people.

Why do you hate Tully so much? And could you take him in a fight?
I hate tully for the way he rolls his eyes when he telling me I’m wrong about something or an other. Can I take him? You see how I fared against the gay Mexican burglar? No.

Seeing as you’re a fan of reading sci-fi, what would you recommend a motherfucker read from the sci-fi genre?
I like the Name of the Wind Series.

You’re a romantic at heart. What would you want to say to the girl you keep dreaming of?
I’m sorry I figured it out so late.


Thanks to Jude for being such a good sport and taking the time to answer our ridiculous questions for his fans. If you haven’t already purchased his book, even if you’re not much of a reader, you should. It’s an easy, yet very a interesting read. It’s not hard to imagine Jude telling you the stories you’re reading, it’s written in his style. There’s a reason Jude was given his own show and was able to put out his own book in a grassroots style, the motherfucker’s good – plain and simple.

Want more Jude? Check out the following:

Straight Talk With Anal Gay-Lewis (aka Anthony Sandoval)

The @NoYouAre_RDS crew had an opportunity to have a Q & A session with Anthony Sandoval (aka: Anal Gay-Lewis, @AntASandoval), an intern for The Jason Ellis Show, a few questions to help get to know him better. By definition, interns don’t last long and the show has gone through many of them. This marks the first intern that NYA has bothered to get to know, and here’s what we chose to ask.

You clearly have been more brazen than most interns in the recent month or so, why is that? Is that you trying to be “in line” with the show, you being a little frustrated, or what?
It’s a bit of both. As an intern and a fan of TJES I definitely want to provide entertainment and leave my mark on the show as previous interns have done. But when I fail to do my job effectively I feel like I have let the show down and I am wasting their time, so I get frustrated for not doing my job. I’m guilty of trying too hard is all. Things have been getting easier for me and I’m being put in charge of a lot more important things so I feel more useful and less frustrated. The most important thing to do when working with Ellis and the crew is to give them space to do their thing and assist them when called upon to do so, do not try to force your whacky ideas onto the crew and instead send them over to Dom, if the idea flops he’ll get yelled at for it and it’ll be hilarious on the air. Entertainment and contribution? Check and check.

Could you see the guys letting you come back to the show from time to time? Would you want to come out of the closet on the show?
I would hope so. I really want to do my best to be a source of entertainment on the show and be somewhat memorable. I learned a lot about what to expect, how to react, and how to carry myself on the show. I would certainly volunteer myself for fan contests to come into the studio and do stunts for prizes, and If Ellis wants me to fight in an EllisMania I would certainly do that too. Needless to say the next 3 months will be easier for me as opposed to my first 3 months. Needless to say the next 3 months will be easier for me as opposed to my first 3 months. If called upon to do so I will come out as a gay 6’3” man-boy.

You’ve become quite the Top Dog among the interns, how do you plan on readjusting to real life when you won’t be any more important than the white speck atop chicken shit?
The whole “Head Intern” thing was given to me by Will because he wanted Jetta and Team Punishment to know what they had to do on the first day rather than constantly ask Will things like how to throw away a box (an actual Team Punishment question). I didn’t have an “Anal Gay Lewis” to answer my questions show me the ropes and list the things that I should and shouldn’t do so I wouldn’t fuck up as much. I had Fruitler…but he just sat around and kept bragging about the recent show at the Whiskey A Go-Go he went to and how much he and his friends love to get fucked up every night, so I was pretty much by myself. For my future my experience being an intern at SiriusXM and for the best show on Satellite will definitely look great on my resume so I’ll probably get a job in broadcasting in San Francisco or some smaller market, I applied for a few jobs with SiriusXM too so we’ll see. As for the chicken shit part of the question…At least I’ll be the TOP speck on the pile! WOOOOO!

During your time on the show so far, what has been your most memorable experience? Funniest bit you’ve heard?
The Tiger Box Rehearsal. Me singing Danzig’s “Twist of Cain” while getting groped by four women? No fucking contest. The Funniest bit I have ever listened to was Dom’s Shocking Movie Lines who could forget the classic movie line as interpreted by Dom. “I feel the neeeeeed the neeed for sp-p-p-eeeeeeeeeeeeeed! ah fuck my spine it’s shocking my spine!” -Dom

Why do you hate Tully so much?
Apparently getting Tully a medium coffee instead of a small is the ultimate “Fuck You” when it comes to intern-show staff etiquette my bad Bro-ham! I don’t hate him personally, off the air he is the nicest guy I have ever met. Even when he tries to be a dick he would say things like “Excuse me would you please get lost for a few minutes?” there is no being mad at the guy. He’s fantastic on the air too! C’mon his razor-sharp wit, flawless logic, and bottom-less store of references are certainly things to be envious of, but not things to hate him for. Anybody who hates Tully for being smart obviously likes to drink wine.

Do you feel like the brand of humor on the show has in any way affected how you approach writing jokes for your stand-up career?
Their more direct approach to humor is certainly good for both radio and stand-up. While more long form stuff would only work for a captive audience at say…the Jambalaya in Arcata (a recent venue I performed at on 5-28-13….not bragging) they would be more likely to listen to a story about how Taco Bell is for masochists who love diarrhea, rather than a radio audience does not have the attention span for that. Doing comedy on the radio is waaaaaay different than being on a stage. I could try to do more short jokes with better pay off at the end but I’m still very much used to doing long form stories. Keep in mind I’m a beginner at stand-up (1 and a half years total) so I’m supposed to suck at it, no one can become George Carlin overnight unless you’ve bitten by a Resurrected George Carlin lycanthrope then by laws of nature when a full moon rises you do in fact become Geroge Carlin overnight! I will say that bombing on the air while millions of people were listening definitely made performing on stage in front of a few people for 10 minutes much easier. Thanks?

A while back the guys asked what order they would be in for the world’s greatest pterodactyl. Which two would get the hands and who would get the mouth in your perfect pterodactyl with the Jason Ellis show crew?
Rawdog would be the mouth and Ellis and Tully would be the wings. In order for the Pterodactyl to even achieve flight and survive it would need two strong wings (Ellis, and Tully) and while Rawdog is not very intimidating it’s perfect because he would lure his prey into a false sense of security then eat his prey while it was too busy laughing at his giant bush baby eyes.

Thanks for reading and stay Anal!
Anal Gay Lewis
Spring 2013/Summer 2013 Intern for The Jason Ellis Show, 6’3″ Weirdo, and CEO of “40 Minute Chicken Sandwhich Productions” (does not exist)

Shout out to Anthony for taking the time to answer our questions and for being such a good sport about it! Wish him good luck with his stand-up comedy and with his next adventures in life. In case you want to hear more about his internship from his own words, see his post on the SiriusXM Intern Blog.

2012: This Year In Rawdog Images

Here is a collection of images I’ve created throughout 2012 where Rawdog (aka @RadioTFB) was the focal point. Enjoy.

Related Articles

2012: This Year In Cumtard Images

Here is a collection of images I’ve created throughout 2012 where Cumtard (aka @KevinKraftSucks) was the focal point. Enjoy.

You can also read: Cumtard The Cumtardian, From Sector Tard-Tard, In The Tardian System for more information.

Cumtard The Cumtardian, From Sector Tard-Tard, In The Tardian System

Some fans of The Jason Ellis Show have a Q & A session with Kevin “Cumtard” Kraft (@KevinKraftSucks), a once (and maybe soon to be again?) producer of the show. He’s become somewhat of a fan favorite among listeners for his willingness to do just about anything for the show, including, but not limited to: smoking & eating his own pubes, eating the infamous “baby bird sandwich”, a “brocone”, and even an onion smoothie – though onions make him hurl. We asked the fans to submit questions they might like to ask him, using the #AskCumtard tag so we could track the questions. And here’s what has become of those questions!

@mike_in_canada: Seriously bro, were you leading on that tranny?
I’m sure she would see it that way but I was just trying to be nice. You’ve heard the stuff I’ve admitted to on the show. If trannies were my thing at all I’d have no problem admitting to it and talking about it. I know it’s hard to believe but I’m a pretty big fan of natural born women.

@bitPimps: When you first started working for the show, did you have any idea you’d be eating the “Baby Bird” or smoking your own pubes?
Pretty much. Since I was a little kid I’ve always been known for doing weird fucked up stuff and I knew Ellis would appreciate someone who will do anything painful or disgusting for the good of the show. And of course now that I’ve done all these things there’s even more pressure on me to not back out of shit. (Fun fact: I don’t think I’ve ever actually smoked my own pubes. I think the only person to ever hit a pubey doobie of my pubes was DJ Cupcake)

@bitPimps: Why do you hate Tully so much?
That hair of his is just too goddamn perfect.

@mike_in_canada: You’ve smoked your own pubes, ate the baby bird, stuck beer in your ass, and drank an onion smoothie… is there anything you won’t do for the show?
The stakes would have to be really high for me to make out with a dude or anything like that… and I mean REALLY high stakes.

@mike_in_canada: What would you have done if your girlfriend spat your load back into your mouth?
Vomit on her face

@tank_yanker: Was there any money to be made as a freeway clown?
Yes but I put it all in Facebook stock and went bankrupt

@bitPimps: You and Will spend a lot of time giggling outside the studio. Has he ever tickled you in a “special” place?
Not that I’m willing to discuss… We just sincerely enjoy the show. It’s great to be able work on a show you love and laugh your ass off all day.

@Hispandrix: What do you consider your “crowning achievement” on the show?
Playing the Leonard Maltin game with Doug Benson was really awesome for me just as a fan. It was also pretty cool doing the “shock bikini” with Dingo and Danny on the controls.

@tank_yanker: Will you be taking great delight in watching Rawdog gag on a dead horse cock?
Yes. I love the guy but it’s nice to see someone else in misery every once in a while.

@sharkchucker: What kind bait did you use to bang the retarded chick. If you knocked her up would you abort?
A piece of cheese. Dealing with retarded people is very similar to dealing with mice

@AZ_RedDragon: Did you listen to TJES before working there?
Yes just not as often that I liked because I was working on other Sirius shows that were live at the same time. I didn’t get to listen enough to know all the inside jokes and references but I’ve always felt Jason is an extremely funny and talented broadcaster.

@AZ_RedDragon: What is the single most embarrassing or disgraceful stunt you’ve done?
Eating the pube breakfast sandwiches was pretty fucked… of all the stuff I’ve done on the show that would be the one that would bum my grandma out the most

@bitPimps: Is there anyone, or a list of people, you would like to tell to fuck off or shout out?
I’d like to shout out Steve Guttenberg just because I’m sure it’s been a long time since anyone has done that

@CrackerStacker6: How old were you for your first attempted suicide? How did you fuck it up, and when do you think you will finally do it right?
I tried to overdose on pills when I was 8 but it turned out they were multivitamins

@ripped_piggy: If you became a Wolfknife tomorrow, what would you want Ellis, Tully, and Josh to give you as a name, excluding CockMountain, Cumfat, Cumtard, or Thrasher?
Thrasher would be nice but that’s just wishful thinking. So far I’m greatly enjoying “Tard Tard the Tard Tardy Tard”

@bitPimps: You do radio production, voice-overs, podcasts, writing… If you had your pick, what do you want to do as a career?
Writing. It’s an extremely thankless job to be a writer in the entertainment industry (most times you’re not even allowed on the set of the movie you wrote) and probably one of the most difficult careers to break into but it’s been my dream since I was a kid. Voice over would probably be the best though. You get a nice paycheck to just sit in a studio and goof off for an hour or two

@CrackerStacker6: Ellis’ nicknames for you got more cruel every week. CockMountain, Cumfat, Cumtard, etc. Did any in particular ever bother you?
Cumfat was kind of a bummer. Who in their right mind wants to fuck some asshole called Cumfat? Splooge was kinda funny.

@ripped_piggy: It looks like they need to replace elmo with a new creepy puppeteer, any chance you’ll be applying to live on sesame street?
That would be a sweet gig but imagine the media firestorm “New Elmo voice eats his own pubes and shoves beer up his asshole”

@CrackerStacker6: Did you ever feel like Ellis just expected you to know how he wanted things done, instead of just tell you?
Yes but that’s the life of a producer. You always have to try to anticipate the next step. It’s not an exact science so it’ll never be something you can be right on 100% of the time. Just look at Howard and Baba Booey. He’s been with the show forever and still gets yelled at for goofing things up from time to time.

@Hollow_NorCal: Tranny sex… is it better than regular sex since there is more to play with?
More doesn’t necessarily equal better. “Less is more” applies to dicks


Thanks to Kevin for all the games he’s come up with as well as all the insane games he’s participated in – just to make us laugh, for getting shocked to shit, and for taking the time to do this Q & A session with the fans. Cumtard is a gamer and he comes through for the show, especially when someone is needed. Here’s to hoping he finds himself in a more permanent position. Can’t get enough of him? He has his own podcast, The Mad Scientist Party Hour, that you can check out.

Related posts: 2012: This Year In Cumtard Images