Behind the Curtain with Will Pendarvis

Some fans of The Jason Ellis Show have a Q & A session with Will “Shiny Shins” Pendarvis, the CEO of Faction 41, as well as the lonely, slightly disturbed, partially terrifying, but tireless boss of Swinghouse Studios. We asked the fans to submit questions they might like to ask Will, using the #AskShindarvis tag so we could track the questions. Here is a portion of what everyone came up with, along with answers straight from Pendarvis The Third himself!

@mike_in_canada: What was it like being another DJ at the same station as Howard Stern?
I used to be on the air in the afternoon at the same station in New York where Howard did mornings. That was the biggest honor I’ve ever had career-wise. Howard has always been extremely nice to me. To be listening to Howard and have him or Artie or Robin bring up your name out of the blue.. it may seem lame to some people… but it’s always exciting to me.

@sharkchucker: It seems like you were once a fun on air talent at one time. When and why did you give up?
I’ve had some awesome times on the air.. and I’ve actually done some good, unconventional, subversive, non-mainstream stuff on the air… but I always wanted to work behind the scenes. After I met Ellis I knew he was the guy who could do the on-air part… and I could work behind the scenes to use what I’ve learned to help promote and build the show. It’s the perfect scenario for me.

@sharkchucker: When the show started and Sirius / XM didn’t want Tully to speak, could you see the need for a smart guy? Was it set to fail?
Ellis could sit in a room and talk for four hours and be plenty entertaining on his own every day. He was born with that gift. I’ve championed Tully being on with Ellis because Tully is very funny and smart… but he also makes Ellis perform at his best. There’s no doubt at what Tully adds to the show.

@bitPimps: You used to be the “voice of TBS” and have an entry on IMDb. Do you think you’re hot shit or something?
Yes.

@AZ_RedDragon: When you lost your virginity was it special? How much did she cost?
Oh. I see. You are inferring that I had intercourse with a prostitute. That would only be made more humorous if you had indicated that it was a male prostitute.

@bitPimps: You’re coming up on 30 years in radio / tv / production. Is there anything you regret or wish you had done differently? And back then, did you see yourself in a different position from where you are now?
I would have invested money in Microsoft, invented bottled water and I would have signed Ellis to a 20-year management deal where I get 40% of his income.

@wiz1010: What is on those security tapes of swinghouse?
I have a few videos saved. One day when I have some time I’m going to transfer those videos and put them online. I have Josh being scared by Jason at 4am one morning… people stealing shit… Ellis getting kicked in the leg… there’s some good stuff on there.

@wiz1010: Why do you hate Tully so much?
Doesn’t everybody?

@wiz1010: If you we’re stranded on a deserted island and could have only 2 things, what and why?
A fancy hotel and a supermodel with very low self-esteem.

@tank_yanker: What did you do wrong that sent you from NYC to a shitty warehouse in LA?
I pitched the idea of Faction and building an LA studio and moving here to run it… I think this is awesome. If it’s meant to be a punishment it’s not working.

@sharkchucker: How many ex-wives and kids does it take to dull the optimistic sparkle in ones eyes?
Kids are awesome. Ex-wives? It only takes one.

@bwstrangler: When I’m stalking a woman in my car how many car lengths do I give them and when do I flash the lights and honk the horn?
At first you need to get right up on them. Make sure they know you are there. Then.. back off for a while. When you think they have relaxed… pull up real fast flashing your lights and honking. Repeat. Repeat. ..and then do it again the next night. …and wear a clown mask.

@sharkchucker: Can you openly tell the stories from the cocaine and whores good ole days of radio?
Yes.

@CrackerStacker6: Just how many women have you kidnapped and now remain in your “dead letter office”?
What? Are you a cop or something? You can’t prove anything. If you had anything on me you would arrest me.. so put me in handcuffs or get out of my face. Anyway- I have video that proves I was lighting fires when all those people went missing.

@bwstrangler: At what age did your children start riding a bike? Your children can ride a bike right?! u better not be raising rawdogs!
Rawdog is an awesome dude. That being said… I’m not raising any Rawdogs… not in my house.

THE END

Thanks to Will for doing all the behind the scenes stuff he does, for providing some button drops in front of the scenes, and for taking the time to do this Q & A session. He may have shiny shins, he might be a little rapey, but you can tell he loves the show and his 72 hour work days. Just kidding Will, we know you don’t listen to the show that much. OH!

Related posts: 2012: This Year In Pendarvis Images

Get Deep Inside Rawdog

@bitPimps and @AZ_RedDragon have a Q & A session with Josh “Rawdog” Richmond, the accidental genius who provides some of the most sought after radio gold one could only hope for.

Why do you hate Tully so much?
I don’t hate Tully at all! He is my good friend.

Then why didn’t you play anything from his new album on New Music Tuesday?
We played tracks from his album (Retrofit, avaliable on iTunes) the day before. New Music Tuesday is for music we haven’t already played on the show. I don’t make the rules, I just choose them arbitrarily. Besides, he got a special announcement before that week’s segment! That’s an even bigger honor than being in the actual segment.

Are you jealous of Tully for having his own album?
I have six unreleased albums. I think he’s jealous of me.

Okay, those were jokes. We know you don’t hate Tully. But why are you so racist?
A sheltered upbringing, and living in a capitalist pseudo-caste-system society that renders the minority underclass virtually invisible.

Then why do you only talk up Jewish people and no others?
Christians are doing just fine, they don’t need my endorsement.

Okay, okay, that was a joke too. But why do you hate the fans so much? Is it because they harass you like a little brother?
I don’t hate the fans! Well, most of them. Some of them take the harassment past little brother levels. Some of them seem convinced that what I do on the radio is actively ruining their lives, which I don’t completely understand. But mostly, I’m amazed and grateful for the community of fans that have grown around this show, and how cool and creative and supportive they are.

After Tully left, it was just you and Ellis. You were more than uncomfortable during some bits, you were mad. For example, when he first started making you talk like “Sarah.” But that turned out to be a hilarious bit that is still continued at times and you’re okay with it now. How did you come to terms with your dynamic with Ellis and are you glad you did?
There was always great chemistry between Jason and I, dating back to my intern days, and when we’re in sync we can make amazing radio. But there’s a flip side when we’re not in sync, and we get into vicious cycles, where Jason’s like “Put the silly hat on!”, and I’m like “I don’t want to put the silly hat on, it’s making me insecure!” and Jason’s like “Do it you fucking pansy!”, and because we’re both very stubborn it doesn’t end well. Tully’s return helped enormously, not just because of his crazy talent, but because Tully is like human tiger balm; his perpetual calm soothes everyone around him. (Canadians might disagree). These things take time, and I won’t lie, there were some very tough moments, but I’m glad I stuck around long enough to get to this point, because I think what we have now between the three of us equals anything on radio.

Over the years, you have spawned some of the best accidental radio ever to be broadcasted. Do you really recognize that? How does that make you feel?
You can go ahead and knock the word “accidental” off of that sentence. I’d rather say “I’ve spawned some of the best radio ever broadcasted”. It feels good.

You’ve had quite a few awesome experiences and opportunities with the show, for example, being jacked off by 3 porn stars in a bathroom. If you had to pick one or two, what would you consider to be the best?
Believe it or not, those bathroom handjobs caused as much anxiety as excitement for me. (You try getting a handjob that you know is going to be broadcast to millions of people sometime.) But other things…meeting Ozzy Osbourne…eating chicken nuggets off a porn star’s box while singing Meat Loaf…playing keyboards in an honest to god rock band…showing hundreds of unsuspecting fans a giant slow-motion pussy fart at a Hollywood movie theater…those will stay with me forever.

How bad do you want to take control of the Hulk Hands and dispense some dick punch justice?
I can handle dick punch justice. It’s better than leg kick justice.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be: A) The Holocaust, B) Briar, C) Losing your car at Coachella, or D) The underage circle jerk?
Let’s work backwards. Everyone has some shameful moment of pubertal awkwardness, and mine could have been worse, so I’ll keep D. C was a stressful couple of days that turned out to be a pretty good story. B was very painful for me, but I think it was necessary to grow and become a better, healthier person. Meanwhile, A is the systemic slaughter of millions of innocent people by an evil madman. After careful thought, I’m going to go with A…you monster.

Here’s your chance to give a blanket statement to everyone that listens to the show. What do you say?
Blankets are great because they keep you warm on cold nights. I personally don’t even use pillows, I just tuck a corner of my blanket under my head and I’m good to go. You should try it. You’ll save all that money you were going to spend on pillows.

Jager BeardYou have more nicknames than everyone on the show, combined. Sometimes you’re given grief and sometimes you’re given props, or even defended. How does that make you feel?
What’s with all the “how does this make you feel” questions? You aren’t my therapist. Look, like you noted, I’m kind of the kid brother of the show, and I accept that I’m always going to get picked on for that. I think I get a lot less shit than I used to, though, because I’m quicker and funnier than when I started, and have earned the respect of the guys a bit. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

You were once an intern, do you treat the new interns with a little more compassion because of it or do you just say fuck it, payback time?
I always treat the interns well. You never know, one of them could be really talented, and then there’s a chance I’ll be working alongside them. At the same time, I like having people fetch things for me. It makes me feel rich.

Do you think you will ever learn to ride a bike or learn how to properly beat up women?
I’ll probably learn to ride a bike someday. Probably some future girlfriend will want to go on a bike ride through the park together or something gay like that, and I’ll have to learn. But I don’t think I’m ever going to administer a serious beating to any woman.

As a man do you feel bad after punching a woman in the face or are you excited because the bitch had it coming?
I feel bad. Women are awesome! I don’t relish punching them. I do it because it’s my duty.

THE END

Thanks to Rawdog for being such a good sport, both on and off-air, and for taking the time to do this Q & A session. Without him, the show wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining and his idiosyncrasies may make him a target for jokes at times, but they’re also just one of the many reasons everyone loves him.

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The Musical Mind of Mike Tully, interviewed by Nate Phillips

I’d like to thank Michael Tully for doing an interview with me – Nate Phillips (@DraXsiS_Rocker)

We know you are a guitarist but was that your first instrument?
Guitar is my first and (other than some half-assed drumming) my only. I broke my shoulder playing football when I was 12, then asked for a guitar for Christmas.

What album(s) influenced you the most to become a guitarist?
Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue, which also ended being the first song my guitar instructor taught me.

You grew up in an era of music where guitar was always the faster the better (in the undergroud scene)Did that deter you at all from wanting to play?
I tried to play fast. I really liked – and still like – Steve Vai, Eric Johnson, and Nuno Bettencourt. But I hit the wall pretty quickly. That’s the major reason I started writing music – so that I could have some songs I was able to play. Continue reading

Mike Tully, Exposed!

@bitPimps and @AZ_RedDragon get a chance to have a Q & A session with Michael Tully, who was smart enough to get into Oxford, yet New Jersey enough to work with fart jokes.

In an interview somewhere, it was written that you three don’t really have much in common and therefore don’t hang out much. Is that still or was it ever true? Have you all gotten closer and hang out more?
Five hours a day is plenty most days, plus emails, plus we do Death! Death! Die! together, make movies together, do website stuff together, etc. When we’re not working, we generally go our separate ways. That having been said, the experience and history of making the show together is a pretty strong bond.

Does your wife enjoy or share your sense of humor on the show? Does she ever listen to the show? And will we ever hear your wife as a quick guest on the show?
God bless her, she’s never listened for a second. I tell her the stuff that happens on air that I think she’ll find funny, but for the most part she’s far too cool to care about my job.

You have known Cullen for quite a while. Did you meet through work or were you friends before either of you started working in radio? Give the scoop the relationship between you two?
Bryan found an ad I placed in a music newspaper called the East Cost Rocker. It said (I kid you not) “14 year-old guitarist tired of the bullshit.” We were in bands together in our teens, then he got into radio and then helped me get started.

You like to cook. Some chef’s don’t like to reveal their secrets, but would you give us your recipe for your salsa?
Mexican is more my wife’s forte, so my salsa recipe is her salsa recipe. But sure: Grill red peppers until they’re pretty well charred, then chill. Remove the stem and guts and chop. Mix with chopped tomato, red onion, cilantro, kosher salt and one or two chopped chili peppers. I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s the basic thrust of it. (The Mexicans have gotten an amazing amount of mileage out of six or seven basic ingredients.)

If you could go back in time, would you: A) Puke on Carson Daly’s dick, B) Kick DanOD5 out of EllisMania 8, C) Start punching Rawdog in the dick during his internship, or D) Not masturbate on that bus The Jingleberries keep reminding us about?
A-C don’t really move me. Masturbation has been very good to me in general, but if I had to pick, I’d go with D.

Whether joking or not, has your wife ever called you “Round Eye”, “8 Mile”, “Gai-ko”, or “Baijo”? And have you ever called her “Yoko”, “Bomb Watcher”, “Godzilla Snack”, or “Bukakke Warrior”?
I’m glad you asked me this, because I often feel like, when we mention my ‘Asian wife,’ some people are picturing a mail order bride. She’s from Japan, but she was raised in Milwaukee. (To reiterate, that’s her salsa recipe above.) At one point or another, I’ve called most of the women in my life ‘Yoko,’ but that’s never been a race-based thing.

During the Barefoot Adventures of Tully, what was the craziest thing that you have ever done or encountered?
In retrospect, riding the NYC subway was a pretty deranged thing to do.

Were you happy during your break from the show, or did you miss it?
You know how, when you finish high school, or college, or however far you go in school, you realize that your last summer vacation is the last extended time off you’ll have until you’re too old for it to matter? Yeah…..No, I did not mind having nowhere I needed to be for a year. And besides, there were always reasons for me to stop by the show.

What moment stands out to you the most during your time on The Jason Ellis Show?
Hard to pick a single one. When I go home tired from laughing, or when we’re in the zone for an extended period of time, that always feels good. I like it when we’re doing something that the three of us find funny that I know no other radio show would ever be doing. And I liked the time Slash and I bonded over using the same guitar picks (Tortex extra thick).

What is your favorite memory from any of the Ellismania events?
I would be lying if I did not say it was one of the times when a roomful of people were chanting my name. That’s not something I ever expected to happen, under any circumstances. The first couple Taintstick shows at Wasted Space had a great ‘Is this really happening?’ vibe to them.

Are you still writing screenplays in your spare time?
Yes. I don’t have much spare time but, now that my album is done, other than the show and the new D!D!D! album, I have something I’m really hoping to finish up (sports drama).

Your CD “Retrofit”, is it something you’ve always wanted to do, or something you did because you currently have the resources available? And why is Rawdog so jealous that he wouldn’t play it on New Music Tuesday?
More about the resources. I had a bunch of old semi-finished songs, and I realized there was no reason not to have recordings of them. I’m so glad I did that, and so thankful to Christian for helping make it so great. It’s funny and minutely endearing that Josh has so much integrity about NMT. I hope everyone can tell that I don’t actually care about his (admittedly hateful) snub.

Sophies choice, Jason or Josh. Josh is young with his entire life ahead of him but Jason has kids and a radio career on the rise, or do you scrap them both and start The Mike Tully Show?
I’m not sure I understand the question. If you’re saying we hypothetically have to remove one guy from the show, then I hypothetically start writing a glowing reference for Josh right now.

Is there anything else you would like to say, shoutout, plug, or just get off your chest?
Really just thanks. Between the last Ellismania and my album release, I’ve had a lot of contact with listeners recently, and a lot of reminders of how much I really like 90% of them.

THE END

Shout out to @possiblytully for taking the time to answer our questions and for all the laughs he gives us on the radio! He’s smarter than you and he has his own album on the charts, what do you got besides a whorish mother?
You can buy Tully’s new album “Retrofit” on Amazon or iTunes.
You can listen to & download the free tracks “Auto-da-Fe” and “Will a Blank” on Tully’s BandCamp page.

Related posts: The Musical Mind of Mike Tully, interviewed by Nate Phillips
2012: This Year In Tully Images

Ask The Jingleberries

Q & A session with the warped, yet genius minds of Bryan Cullen and Mike Cechnicki, who together make up The Jingleberries. Except these were all answered by Cechnicki as Cullen is too busy being the “backbone” of Faction. Nonetheless, this is fucking gold!

We know you both work for Sirius XM, but could you tell us exactly what you each do and / or job titles?
Mike: I do teenagers, mostly. No title. Except the one for my van.

Cullen’s all Faction all the time. We both try to listen to the as much of the show’s as we can, take notes, pull sound bytes, and gather incriminating information for future song ideas. But it’s hard to focus on the Ellis show when that’s only one of fucking gazillions of shows Cullen does for Faction alone. Which is only one of gazillions of entire channels that I do sound design, voices, and production for. At least I don’t have my own show to host too. Cullen isn’t the “Backbone” for nothing. He eats those fucking things for breakfast. Management’s still bitter about having their spines removed.

How did you two meet? Was it strictly through work?
Mike: My first day was a full music channel Production Department staff meeting. That’s what I was hired to do. All the shit between music that radio people think makes the channel have a personality and listeners think are commercials. Things like the show bumpers on Ellis coming back from songs. So at this stupid meeting, everyone goes around the room to introduce themselves to the new guy. As company virgin, I went first, saying my name and that I came from “a warm, wet, pink place.” When it came around to this pasty bald bastard all in black with thick gauges in his ears named Cullen, I think I counted 27 uses of the word “fuck.” And that was it. Kismet.

What made you guys decide to start making song parodies for the show?
Mike: There was a limited run all-punk channel on Sirius before the merger with XM that Cullen was a big part of. He got the idea to do punk style jingles of us singing instead of just “blah blah blah, The Punk Channel” all the time. I had done a bunch of creative jingle style things for the Broadway and Top 40 channels, of all fucking things, so it was second nature. A couple of weeks later, Ellis interviewed LL Cool J who dropped the now infamous “get these balls” all over the place. Cullen decided we should try a parody of LL written around his hostile interview clips. Not long after, Raw Dog revealed he had a trust fund. We haven’t stopped backing over that fucking champion with the parody bus since.

Is there anything that you consider “off limits” when it comes to a song parody?
Mike: I would have said family until Tully broke Separatist code by knocking up a gook. It’s funny. Ellis is really sensitive to race related jokes in songs, but not in conversation. He doesn’t exactly love parodies about him either. They never play twice. So I try to stay away from picking on the host and any racial shit. But not because I’m not racist. I mean, fuck Klingons. Am I right?

Have you ever made a parody that you later felt bad for writing?
Mike: Every one that I sing lead on. Which is most of them. I’m not vocally trained, and that’s part of the joke, but some of them really make me cringe. And I won’t use AutoTune unless its part of the original piece of shit song. If a parody ever takes more than an hour to make, we walk away. Unfortunately, we never have more than 15 minutes and never walk away and these things play over and over. Just to torture me.

Either of you have a favorite parody that you’ve made? Least favorite?
Mike: “Dick in a Box” stands out. Or maybe “I’m on a Boat.” Cullen says those weren’t ours. I remember it differently.

The Jingleberries have a pretty solid cult following. Are / were either of you surprised at how well you were received by both the show and fans?
Mike: I like vaginal sex. Just throwing out Christmas gift ideas. And yes, of course we’re surprised. Not by how fucking amazing we so totally are, but how overwhelmingly positive the feedback always is. Always. I honestly can’t remember one negative comment that wasn’t sarcasm. No comedian of any kind can say that. And it blows me the fuck away. Much as I’d rather actually being blown. See how it comes back around?

If one of you offered $6000 for the other to suck them off, just one time, would either of you do it?
Mike: Honestly, I’m a little bummed to find out that I could have made $6K.

To both of you, if the other got his balls stuck in a relish jar, would you A: Laugh, B: Laugh & take a picture, C: laugh, take a picture, and write a parody about it, or D: help him and keep the secret?
Mike: I put C for everything. Hopefully there weren’t any True or False questions.

Is there anything else you would like to say, shout out, or make fun of?
Mike: I wanna shout out my boy, Prop 37. California’s right to know what’s in your food. That guy’s literally going to save the human race. Oh, and Katie. I don’t know you very well, Katie. But if you keep sitting on the sidelines of battle, I’m just saying, collateral parody damage happens. Even if it gets my dick punched in.

THE END

So there you have it sisters! A kick you right in the asshole interview and a warning shot fired at Katie! Shout out to Mike Cechnicki (@Jingleberries) and Bryan Cullen (@Cullensaidthis) for the awesome interview and for all the great parodies! For a good time, follow them. For more masturbatory material, hit their website: bookhockey.com