Good evening and welcome to the Wednesday recap, where I only really mean half of what I say and everything is subjective. It’s better that you think of this as more of a free-form, abstract recounting of something I mostly listened to while weaving through traffic and tweaking my nipples.

Ellis went to the dentist today, but stayed away from the fuck your face gas because he cares about the show and he cares about you. Speaking of you: FUCK YOU for bitching and whining about the Instagram pictures with the props and FUUUUUCK YOU for bitching about working the show intro out with porn stars. It’s his show and he’ll do what he wants with it. Seriously though, the IG bit, who gives a flying fuck if he wears a wig and hulk hands with guests? Who the fuck are you? Nobody! That’s who!

Tully had a sex dream about his wife (awwwwwwww) and they were in a store that had beds and people were around so they went to the car to finish up and his best friend was watching and also he was a robot. Jason wants to have sex with Dr. Drew and thinks Dr. Drew wants to have sex with him because Drew was showing him pictures of gaping assholes that Psycho Mike was sending him and saying how weird it was that he would do that. All while presenting his winking butthole towards Jason’s hips, mind you. Elizabeth Starr is a lady who has giant boobs and is gonna die because of it. Consider that recapped.

Speaking of porn stars! Word on the Twitter is that everyone loves all the porn stars that have been on this week and are not at all spewing hate filled tweets full of concentrated rage. Annnnnd not so much. Suffice it to say the term “dumb whores” has been said more times in relation to TJES in the last 3 days than your mom gets during an entire shift behind the dumpster at a waffle house. HOWEVER, the porn star that joined the next segment with Gold Star Gay Frank Decaro, proved to be a witty little psychopath who had me laughing my balls off. Her name is Missy Martinez and she started her segment off sitting in the green room asking your usual dating game questions to the guys. The guys of course being Cumtard, Frank talking in a straight man voice, and Ellis talking as Sara. I found myself laughing without having any way to convey to you exactly what made her so funny, so I rewound it and started quoting things completely out of context for you to enjoy.

• “I want AIDS so I can go around spitting on people and giving them AIDS. Like an AIDS Llama”
• “Just because I’m Mexican you’ve gotta take me to some orange grove?”
• “I want your shit inside of my shit” (They were being very literal)
• “We can’t have foreplay if you don’t vomit”
• When Cumtard said he plays video games, reads comics and has had diarrhea for the last week, she responded “I’ve had two of those!….Video games and Diarrhea”

For once it was nice to have a porn star on who understood the humor of the show and wasn’t a complete bore, a twat, or depressing as hell. I know this isn’t a popular opinion, but remember the golden rule: If you don’t like it go fist yourself with a coarse sheet of sandpaper.

Christian James Hand came by the show for another round of the Naked vocals game. Again, another solid segment, though if I were to critique it at all, it would be to say I’d like to hear more themes for each one. Maybe do an all metal one, or a 90’s grunge, maybe 70’s lead vocals etc. I could also be completely wrong because variety is the spice of life, and I’m a bit of a moron. Here were the selections we got to enjoy today:

• Survivor- “Eye of the Tiger” very cool, but was always impressive, naked or not.
• Police- “SOS” where we all realize Sting is just another privileged white dude ripping off black man’s music, in this case, reggae. (By the by, fuck reggae. Fuck Bob Marley. Tell Bob Marley I said that. Oh wait you can’t because he is dead lolololol)
• Heart- “Barracuda” there is a line in there where she refers to a porpoise. always thought it was purpose. Couldn’t tell if it was a pun or the result of cocaine.
• Motorhead- “Overkill” Holy hell if you could isolate the sound of whiskey, cocaine and cigarettes into one string of audio, it is Lemmy. That dude is 100 billion times the man I will ever be. I hear he smells like shit, but he’s a fucking man.
• Phil Collins “Invisible Touch” made an appearance to annoy the shit out of all of us.
• Radiohead “Creep” Not entirely sure why this was chosen unless it was to annoy Ellis, in which case it worked like nipple clamps work on me.
• Katy Perry “Firework” was the surprisingly impressive one in the bunch. She’s got a crazy powerful voice, so it turns out she isn’t just a wailing pair of tits after all.
• Queen “Somebody to Love” correct me if I’m wrong, but they’ve played this one before on this segment, but it doesn’t make it any less impressive. Freddy Mercury was the best sounding case of AIDS I’ve ever heard, that’s for sure.
• Michael Jackson “Billie Jean” He’s a baby voiced monster.

Thuck that Thcrotum

Next up, was EVEN.MORE.PORNSTARS. Yes, if you weren’t sick to death of them yet, (even though I loved Missy) TJES brought a couple more in to round out the show. Sylvester the Cat Nina Hartley and Justine Jolie came in to talk to Ellis about that whole “Jacking off a clit” thing Justine was raving that Nina could do a couple weeks ago. It was right about this time that Twitter started to look like a group of protesters outside of an abortion clinic, and the porn stars were our immoral teens shame walking up the steps. Bathically, Nina came in to talk about the way you’re thuppothed to jerk off a vagina. Schee Saysth you need to apply prethure to the pubic bone and schoftly schtroke the schaft of the clitorisch. Ok, I can’t keep that up, but my point can be summed up by @AZ_RedDragon ‘s tweet :

Jason Pinkett-Smith     ‏@AZ_RedDragon                       5h

I figured it out! Barbara Walters imitating Sylvester The Cat while wearing a new retainer! #Boom #NailedIt

Which completely took me out of any sexiness that could have been happening. And she approached the whole thing like the Bob Ross of pussy. She kept talking to Justine’s vagina like it was a puppy dog or an infant. She called it pumpkin once or twice and I struck my wife.

The clitoris isn’t a button, it’s a happy little phallus. We all have a happy phallus in us.

It was one of the most annoying segments I’ve ever listened to on the show. Not because of the concept, mind you, but because of the way she came in like an kindergarten level art teacher talking about making women cum. She was baby talking a clitoris for fuck sake. Then she started talking about doing the same thing to dudes and somewhat redeemed herself by playing with Cumtards junk, (which she called thick and heavy, by the way) and chubbing his wiener with some sort of taco hold. Then she started talking about how she travels around giving hand job seminars and has a hand job kit with gloves, lotion and oil. Sometimes she just runs into dudes and gives them hand jobs with her handy dandy jack off kit. So….Red Dragons?

Here’s where I’m landing on porn stars since it’s porn star week: They are hit and miss. You get ones that totally get the show, like Missy, Joanna Angel and a couple others I can’t think of right now. Or, the alternative is the ones who are basically on tour talking about dicks and vaginas and fucking and sucking and cum and anal. Those are the bad ones. It’s always going to be hit and miss, and unless some screening is done beforehand, the majority just aren’t going to get the show. But hey, remember the golden rule about fisting yourself: if you’re a porn star, giggle about it when you say fist. Seriously though, if you don’t like the porn stars, as much as it sounds like a cliché, change the channel for a bit. There are going to be spells where porn stars are going to make sense to bring on the show, and it’s always going to annoy some people. And if you are the type of person who listens to it just to yell at the radio, then what the fuck are you really doing with your day?

Jesus, I’m drunk. Until next week, sluts.

Holy balls it’s Wednesday already and I feel like I really have a lot to get to today. I mean, I’ve got like two pages of notes, most of which are legible and they are all in order….Oh shit! It’s sober recap time!!!! Let’s get comprehensive in this motherfucker!

Will is super hot when he is angry, and reminds Ellis of that Spiderman lizard professor guy. Which brings him naturally to his next point, would you fuck a billionaire giant gecko? He reckons you might fuck him, but you aren’t going to love him. And even if you say you love him, it’s not real love, he’s just like your brother or something. Even the ugliest dude’s can get themselves laid, even Stephen Hawking cheated on his wife and he looks like warmed over road kill.

Ellis got super gay last night with Dingo. Ok, not super gay, only a little. They passed a grape between each other with their mouths, but it was totally OK because they did it to get another girl to make out with Katie so it was totally hetero bro.

Ellis went on Dr. Drew again last night and he says he is really getting comfortable with his appearances these days. He has a routine now where he sits and watches the news stories and prepares a bit more so that he doesn’t come off as the brash crazy dude with tattoos in the box as much. Jillian Barberie and the defense attorney chick Ellis likes got into it a bit over a story about a stepfather who punished a kid by not letting him eat for 5 days. Nobody was arguing for the father, but you know how bitches are man…That Jenny Hutt chick that cohosts with Drew is sort of dark on Ellis these days. Ellis didn’t realize it at first, but once someone on twitter mentioned it, he noticed she was making shitty little faces every time he would give an answer on the show. Ellis wants to battle her over her box and steal it from her. Just really jump on her shit and push her out of the way and make her box his box you know what I’m sayin???

Corn Liquor Chris called in to say he wanted to fight at Ellismania, and Ellis was cool with that until Corn Liquor Chris said Ellis would have to fly him out. Easy there, Corn Liquor Chris, you aren’t in any position to be making demands, so naturally Ellis shot him. Later on, Corn Liquor Chris called back to apologize to Ellis for copping an attitude and now Corn Liquor Chris is back on everyone’s good side.

The guys had a caller based segment where people called in with stories of celebrity sightings out in the wild. Some of the highlights were John Malkovich dressing like a homeless man and talking about murder. Bono was standing on a stage and telling people about how he put a drill into his dad’s dick and had to back it out. Swamp Scotty met Aerosmith at a gas station. Swamp Scotty should fight Corn Liquor Chris. Just putting that out there. There was a lot of poop talk on the show for a minute or two. Specifically about the places we poop and tolerate pooping. Port-a-potties, digging holes and burying it, Wal-Mart bags and Big Gulp cups. Tully proposed an invention where you can bring a portable bag to poop in wherever you go. You just unfold it and poop into the bag, use the attached wipes to clean up and bob’s your uncle. One of these days somebody is going to use one of Tully’s inventions and revolutionize the world of pooping in public.

Cumtard brought in a new game where the guys listened to songs with notoriously mush mouthed lead singers and the guys would have to guess what the lyrics are. Turns out a lot of lyrics we’ve been singing have been wrong all along! For instance, Eddie Vedder once said in “Yellow Ledbetter” ‘On a ceiling the boys are glitter” or something like that. Michael Stipe (REM) is a mush mouth weirdo and I wasn’t writing that down. Bob Marley once said “You’ve got a mind to bone, so go to hell is what your thinking, that shit flying. Fuck you mista,” And of course who can forget when Billy Corgan said “Whooooo wants the Hiiiiiinnneyy” Perhaps most shocking of all was “Unglued” by Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots once crooned “I, I, I bought a nigga with an afro, dude. I’m gonna ride him like a prostitute.” Which is just unbelievably insensitive and STP need to apologize immediately for hurtful lyrics. Shame on you, Scott Weiland.

Finally, the end of the show wrapped up around a Cosmopolitan article Tully found entitled ’18 reasons to not give him a blowjob.’ BLASPHEMY! RIOTS IN THE STREETS! YOU WILL BLOW! Ellis was very aggressive towards the article, and he believes strongly in your right to be blown. Actually most of them were pretty reasonable, like if your package is packing a little extra sweaty cheese oil, she doesn’t have to touch it. Or if you don’t take care of your bush and critters start to nest in there. But some of them were just offensive like “because you don’t want to” is not an acceptable excuse to Ellis. You dig deep and get down on that meat whistle, lady. You should especially give a dude a blowjob if he holds a gun to your head and tells you to, that is a given. Long day at work? Suck a dick. Super tired? Suck a dick. Just had an abortion? Suck a dick! The list goes on and on but I can sum the conversation up with this quote:

“Whenever you don’t feel like suckin a dick, you should suck a dick” – Jason Ellis

That is a real quote, but the conversation wasn’t that harsh, and probably 14 out of the 18 were legitimate but for the few “When you are in a shower because water boarding is torture” and “because it looks weird” If I didn’t get blown for every time I had a weird dick, I would have never got blown, because that dude is like if Sloth from the Goonies was a body builder. By the way, if any ladies want a real article about sucking penis written by a very real lady, here is a link telling you to suck it written by our very own JenniMazky , go read it and then suck some penis.

Finally, people still don’t understand how the “Don’t Die” works, and I am starting to think they never will. It’s just “You guys rock, wanted to let you know” and “Is Ellis there? Hello?”  It’s infuriating to listen to, and every time I hear “Can I talk to Jason?” I’m secretly hoping I hear screeching tires and “Oh shit” before shattering glass and crunching steel seamlessly transition to a dial tone.

Hello and welcome, felly Manny-acs. It’s  been a whole day since we all fell in love with the one they call Manny. Let’s pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and try to forge through and make something out of this pain. Ellis opened up the show talking about Steve Caballero and how he is one of the good God loving people he knows and people should be more like that dude. Don’t know who Steve Caballero is? Tough shit motherfucker! Once upon a time Tully didn’t know who Caballero was when he was prepping to interview him, so he asked Ellis by putting a weird Spanish twist over the L’s. I forgot where this all went, but once again reminded myself I need to take better notes. Off to a strong start eh? Boy, I fucking suck.

Somehow we got on the topic of doing man shit, and how knowing how to do a certain degree of man shit enhances your life greatly. I totally remembered! Ellis wants to get some tools together so he can work on his bike instead of taking it to someone. Tully is starting to realize he has to find a list of shit that every man knows how to do and master a handful of them so he can pass some stuff on to his kid. Currently his level of manliness consists of cooking dinner and doing dishes while his wife put together a scooter for the kid, so he’s got some climbing to do. But hey, we’ve all got shit we are good at and shit we just never learned to do. I, for instance am good at pleasing women sexually and I suck at walking around in heels and a skirt singing show tunes. Different walks Tully, different walks.

Wilson Pendarvis needs to start doing drugs. Not like crack or anything, just a little weed to relax him and keep his murderous rage at manageable level. Ellis wants to guide him through the experience like his own personal weed Sherman or Shaman or whatever the illiterate immigrant landed on eventually. The proposition is that Ellis, Tully and Will should all go down to a hash bar and get a little high and have a couple of beers. Surprise, surprise, Captain Killjoy Pendarvis doesn’t want to do it. He claims he doesn’t want to get paranoid or have a panic attack, which seems weak. Ellis explained at length how they can pick and choose at a dispensary the type of high you can get from different strains, but to no avail. Finally, Ellis throws a brilliant counter offer on the table: Either fight Cumtard at Ellismania 10, or Ellis is going to spike his food or drink with an insane amount THC and watch him suffer. Will pondered this, and ultimately said that if Tim Sabean says it is ok, he will fight Cumtard. Ellis immediately tried calling Tim but couldn’t get ahold of him. Stay tuned on that. Will’s apprehension is complete BS for as big of a Pink Floyd fan as he is. Give that dude a Brownie and ‘Dark Side’ with headphones and a comfy chair and that dude is not giving a fuck about you or anyone for several hours. A dude called in to warn Will of the dangers of mixing marijuana and alcohol, which was met with raucous laughter. I called that lunch time in high school and I turned out fine! I don’t have regrets at all about my life or how it turned out, fuck you!

In more Make The People In The Green Room Better News: Ellis wants to turn Cumtard into a killing machine. We’re talking cardio, sparring, steroids, protein shakes, PCP, green drinks, jiu-jitsu classes and horse semen. And then point all that cumtarded rage towards beating up Will instead of alcoholism and self-flagellation. It may be the perfect experiment, and all of the ideas Ellis came up with to make Rawdog better may be used on Cumtard because he is ready and willing.

Ultimate Fighter winner and past guest Julianna Pena came on the show today. She recently suffered an injury to her ACL and had to have surgery, putting her on the DL for a year. She kind of cleared up her end of the drama surrounding her injury. I really don’t want to delve to deep into the story, but she said it was blown up and turned into something it wasn’t. I listened to the whole hour and a half interview and my initial impression was sort of a negative one. To me at least, she seemed like she danced between “Poor Me” and the usual stock interview fighters give in promos for a PPV “I’m gonna win because I believe I am the best etc.” I didn’t want to present it like that to you because Ellis and Tully seem to genuinely like her and she certainly isn’t a Sam Rubin or another vapid porn star who giggles throughout. However, to prove I wasn’t alone I took to twitter.

@CrackerStacker6 : Who can summarize the Julianna Pena interview for me right quick?

@tank_yanker: zzzz whaa whaa zzzzzzz poor me.. zzzz blah blah.. sorry. .its all I remember. .

@AZ_reddragon: she’s not a carpet muncher and dances like a chicken…..she likes fighting, been punched a lot, her favorite color is horse.

@tank_yanker: oh yeah.. she hasn’t kissed a dude since January

@sharkchucker: E> you’re hot I’m a man that can smash you.
J> right, that’s not what I need.
E> what’s with the limp?
J> my bad.

@AZ_Reddragon: while she is healing she plans on taking the place of Oderus in a tribute concert next month

So there you have it, On demand is always available if you want to disagree.

Docking is pretty sweet and if you don’t know what it is, it’s not for you man. Don’t google it. Don’t get a penis pump. I can’t stress that enough. And please don’t fuck Kim Jong Un. See you next week.

Good evening and welcome to the Wednesday re-cap of The Jason Ellis Show, I will be your pilot on this text driven journey. Side note, the pilot has to poop, so if at some point I just throw out bullet points really fast and end the recap, it means I’m prairie dogging. And just to clarify, that is 2 days in a row where a NYA recap starts off with us telling you about our bowel movements. So Ellis starts the show remarking on how amazing it is that the geniuses in the green room still haven’t updated the show intro in the system. In fact, they went back to the original one with Gunnz doing pushups, which is a giant step back, and yes this is the third week in the show I’ve bitched about the intro and the thing still isn’t right.

On to the real shit, Tully came up with a theory while he was soaping off his luscious body and presumably fingering deep into his hole in the shower this morning. Men hugging, more to the point, the handshake into a pat on the back hug that dudes do: Where did that shit start? Man hugs in general are an odd concept. Naturally, Tully and Ellis deduced that white people stole it from black people. But now why did black people start doing it? Tully believes they stole it from Italian mob movies, because those dudes hug it out all the time. The conversation progressed into affection in general, specifically with your kids. Tully is a little weirded out by kissing his kid on the lips, but Ellis isn’t. Bottom line is you have to do what you are comfortable doing, and it’s only weird if you make it weird. It would however be incredibly bad ass if you kissed your daughter on the lips in front of her boyfriend and made eye contact with him just to fuck with him. one guy called in to say his 90 year old dad who is on at home dialysis keeps grabbing his wife’s ass all the time. Red Dragons to that old bastard.

The guys are accepting props, any kind of funny thing you may have. Ellis is taking instagram pictures with the guests and they are setting up with props to make them a little more interesting. Maybe you’ve got a My Little Pony strap on, or a Care Bear themed gimp mask you need to get rid of, wipe the finger prints off of it and email SubmitToEllis@gmail.com and if they want your dirty evidence, they will tell you how to send it.

Gina Carano might be fighting Ronda Rousey, but probably not because she hasn’t been working out. Fred Phelps is on his death bed and the world is collectively pondering if it’s better to picket his funeral or take the high road and ignore them. There was a guy who got the cops called on him because he had a tattoo of a gun on his hip, and Tully thinks he should get arrested all the time for being so dumb. It must be a big city thing, the fear of guns. I’ve never understood it because I’ve been around guns my whole life and every single person was responsible with their firearms, and seeing one on a dude’s hip holster in line at the bank isn’t crazy. I see a lot of people getting pissed on Twitter whenever Tully brings guns up, but you gotta look at it from the point of view of someone who isn’t used to it: Guns are illegal to carry in most large cities, therefore the only time people in the cities are exposed to the existence of guns, it is when someone is being shot or there are generally shady things happening. There is a lot of variance in the way people from different areas and walks of life will see the issue and the basis all comes from your personal reality. So maybe give the dude a break sometimes?

They did WK names, so if one of the twelve of you reading this signed up recently, you will get your name shortly.

Will is one of those creepy dudes who listen to police scanners and thinks it would be cool to have a panic room. He even keeps one in his back pack so he can listen on the go. This means one of two things: Either Will is secretly a super hero and responds to crime faster than the cops, or he listens to it to make sure the cops aren’t headed towards him and his freshest kill/capture.

Bert from the Used came on today. He recently came back from 3 months in Australia to jump on his soap box on TJES. As usual, Bert still hates the corporate fat cats maaaaannn because they lie and steal and don’t appreciate art maaaaannn. I like Bert and all, I think he is a funny guest, but he is so far up his own ass about politics and philosophy and art. And he throws the term artist around like crazy for someone who makes bubble gum punk music. He did however mention a new project he and presumably other artists are working on called GAS Union. It’s a concept for an organization based on a kickstarter or gofundme model where people can donate money directly to the artist and get kick backs on concert tickets, shirts and stream the albums for free if they want. It sounded like a pretty forward thinking concept, so maybe next time he is on we will hear more. Once again, I should mention I really like it when Bert is on, I think he, Ellis and Tully all feed off of each other really well, but he was just really on his political kick today and it was kind of annoying.

Heard some new Metallica from a demo they released. It was some good ol’ metallica. Finally, the guys tried the Skype thing and actually got two genuinely good calls out of it. One dude named Wally had a sweet Hank Hill and some character from Princess Bride impression and an even sweeter mustache. Also, Paige Bourne is probably going to be a legendary fan/guest on the show in the future. This is the girl who can dislocate multiple joints on her body, and folded herself in half the last time she was on. Today, she upped the ante by kicking and kneeing herself in the face and became an instant star. Thanks Paige.

Wish I had funnier things to say at the end of these, but I don’t and I have to poop. Good night.

Good evening and happy Wednesday to you motherfuckers. Great news! That intro with the chipmunk voiced hot dog vendor finally changed and the show finally changed it up. However, that’s not to say this one is perfect. The problem with this one is that Kenda Perez sounds like she was saying the lines at gunpoint. Nothing worse than a zero enthusiasm “in the hole” to kill your boner. Now if we can bring her to tears and get her to say it over and over defensively, I’m all in.

Hey dudes, what celebrities would you be willing to live with? Ellis questioned Tully with a list of men he could possibly cohabitate with. Daniel Tosh? Tully couldn’t handle the steady stream of hot chicks he would bang. Trent Reznor? No, he’s too far up his own ass. Scott Ian? Hell no, Tully doesn’t want to hear about Anthrax’s goings on and how much Tully doesn’t like the beer as much as he does. The gist I got from the conversation was that Tully is basically a 60 year old woman. Case and point: The only person he said yes to was David Bowie, who is basically an old lesbian woman in looks and most likely practice.

Some surgery stories from callers after Ellis brought up Carey Hart’s recent back surgery where they had to go through his stomach to reach his spine. One guy called in to talk about his open heart surgery where they cut open your sternum, do the work and then glue it back together. Another guy had the same surgery, but got aluminum wire to tie his chest back together. Ellis wants to get a box installed in his chest like Iron Man or maybe a TV. In fact, the guys figured out a really good way for cripples to get laid and have it still be pleasurable for the chick: Get a TV in your chest and then whatever whore you convince or pay enough to bang you gets to watch porn instead of looking at your greasy ass.

Ellis keeps rambling on about some Vikings show. Supposedly it’s pretty good, but I haven’t seen it, nor do I care. The reason I’m bringing it up however is the guys were talking about how Viking women were super manly and while the men were away conquering the world, they had to use traps and shit to catch food for the…..you know what? I’ve completely forgotten where I was going with this. The end game was essentially that Tully laid out a nice rant about how every nationality has an excuse for being alcoholics: “Oh you know Russians and their Vodka” or, “You know those Irish and their Whiskey” or, “You know Missourians and their grain alcohol and meth.” Wow, this paragraph had no point at all.

The guys played a game of celebrity rumors where we learned that Nicole Kidman is afraid of butterflies and Pierce Brosnan can breath fire. Samuel L Jackson was one incarcerated for kidnapping and holding someone hostage. Some other people did some shit I don’t remember too, it was fucking amazing. Then the guys talked about little entitled cunt shit Justin Bieber and his deposition thing the world is talking about. Surprisingly, Tully and Ellis were sort of backing him because he is a 20 year old millionaire and don’t blame him for fucking off on a deposition. I get their point completely, and they are probably right. I just so want this shit bag’s undoing to end in the worst god damn way possible. If he weren’t such an entitled bag of cunts, I would hate him less, but he is thinks he is god’s gift to pre teen hymens and his inevitable overdose or brutal murder is going to be met with a collective sigh of relief from humanity.

The guys briefly touched on the most hilarious bit of the week thus far from yesterday which of course was Michael Tully’s epic rage monster coming out during shock Pictionary. In case you missed it, Tully was the one getting shocked and he at one point chucked the marker across the room exclaiming “FINE THAT’S AS GOOD AS THE FUCKING DRAWING IS GETTING SO JUST SHOCK ME UNTIL FOUR O CLOCK” I was absolutely rolling during that bit and hearing a bit of the fallout was good. Ellis said he genuinely felt bad because his trademark ramblings legitimately pissed Tully off(at least while he had a shock collar on). After all though, it seems the King and Queen of the west are back on track in their relationship, and it was only a temporary spat.

Hey, did you know there was a survey put out for an EllisFam-ily Feud game? Neither did a shitload of people on Twitter, but at least 100 people did fill it out (Basically the entire audience if you ask some people). Anyway, I listened to the whole thing, and like most of my recaps, what I wrote down does not always reflect what I heard so here is what I remember:

#1 answer for what celebrity does Tully resemble the most? Young Adolf Hitler.

#1 answer for what would Ellis do if he weren’t in radio? Porn Star.

#1 answer for what is the best munchies food? Chocolate (Bullshit, it’s tacos you dicks.)

#1 body part dudes want smaller on chicks? Stomachs and assholes.

#1 thing you see in Canada? Mud, Maple Syrup and beady eyed Canadians.

Have you heard about this #BanBossy campaign? The long and short of it is that some women think using the word bossy has a detrimental effect on young girls, forcing them to not want to be in charge or take leadership roles in society when they are older. I should clarify here that I am not kidding, this is a real thing that is happening that is being backed by Michelle Obama, Condoleeza Rice and Beyoncé. The main question nobody seems to be able to answer is that did being called bossy ever stop one of those three bitches from getting to where they are in life? Fuck off you language policing bimbos. Because in the end, anyone who can allow a word like bossy determine their level of confidence in themselves was never going to rise to any great heights as it is, and if they do, they are going to be shitty at their fucking job. So save the language police for shit that really matters, and be happy the word is bossy and not Cunt. Ellis and Tully agreed that little girls are bossy by nature(My 18 month old is a bitch, I can attest to this), and came up with a better campaign which we all desperately need to get trending: #BanFelchJizz because no little kid needs to be called Felch Jizz in this day and age.

Sorry, blacked out for a second there. The guys ended the shows with a Skype session of final calls, and like the last time, nothing really great happened. Kevin unknowingly flashed his nuts to a child, but nothing of note beyond that. It’s a really great concept, it just needs a little work because the video aspect does nothing for people listening. I’d like to hear something along the lines of a talent show, or even a “Gross Me Out” contest where the grossest listener gets a prize pack. These are all things that could make the Skype thing not sound like a final calls where they describe the caller’s face.

Wish I had a better line to go out on.