Show Re-cap for Wednesday 3/19/2014

Good evening and welcome to the Wednesday re-cap of The Jason Ellis Show, I will be your pilot on this text driven journey. Side note, the pilot has to poop, so if at some point I just throw out bullet points really fast and end the recap, it means I’m prairie dogging. And just to clarify, that is 2 days in a row where a NYA recap starts off with us telling you about our bowel movements. So Ellis starts the show remarking on how amazing it is that the geniuses in the green room still haven’t updated the show intro in the system. In fact, they went back to the original one with Gunnz doing pushups, which is a giant step back, and yes this is the third week in the show I’ve bitched about the intro and the thing still isn’t right.

On to the real shit, Tully came up with a theory while he was soaping off his luscious body and presumably fingering deep into his hole in the shower this morning. Men hugging, more to the point, the handshake into a pat on the back hug that dudes do: Where did that shit start? Man hugs in general are an odd concept. Naturally, Tully and Ellis deduced that white people stole it from black people. But now why did black people start doing it? Tully believes they stole it from Italian mob movies, because those dudes hug it out all the time. The conversation progressed into affection in general, specifically with your kids. Tully is a little weirded out by kissing his kid on the lips, but Ellis isn’t. Bottom line is you have to do what you are comfortable doing, and it’s only weird if you make it weird. It would however be incredibly bad ass if you kissed your daughter on the lips in front of her boyfriend and made eye contact with him just to fuck with him. one guy called in to say his 90 year old dad who is on at home dialysis keeps grabbing his wife’s ass all the time. Red Dragons to that old bastard.

The guys are accepting props, any kind of funny thing you may have. Ellis is taking instagram pictures with the guests and they are setting up with props to make them a little more interesting. Maybe you’ve got a My Little Pony strap on, or a Care Bear themed gimp mask you need to get rid of, wipe the finger prints off of it and email and if they want your dirty evidence, they will tell you how to send it.

Gina Carano might be fighting Ronda Rousey, but probably not because she hasn’t been working out. Fred Phelps is on his death bed and the world is collectively pondering if it’s better to picket his funeral or take the high road and ignore them. There was a guy who got the cops called on him because he had a tattoo of a gun on his hip, and Tully thinks he should get arrested all the time for being so dumb. It must be a big city thing, the fear of guns. I’ve never understood it because I’ve been around guns my whole life and every single person was responsible with their firearms, and seeing one on a dude’s hip holster in line at the bank isn’t crazy. I see a lot of people getting pissed on Twitter whenever Tully brings guns up, but you gotta look at it from the point of view of someone who isn’t used to it: Guns are illegal to carry in most large cities, therefore the only time people in the cities are exposed to the existence of guns, it is when someone is being shot or there are generally shady things happening. There is a lot of variance in the way people from different areas and walks of life will see the issue and the basis all comes from your personal reality. So maybe give the dude a break sometimes?

They did WK names, so if one of the twelve of you reading this signed up recently, you will get your name shortly.

Will is one of those creepy dudes who listen to police scanners and thinks it would be cool to have a panic room. He even keeps one in his back pack so he can listen on the go. This means one of two things: Either Will is secretly a super hero and responds to crime faster than the cops, or he listens to it to make sure the cops aren’t headed towards him and his freshest kill/capture.

Bert from the Used came on today. He recently came back from 3 months in Australia to jump on his soap box on TJES. As usual, Bert still hates the corporate fat cats maaaaannn because they lie and steal and don’t appreciate art maaaaannn. I like Bert and all, I think he is a funny guest, but he is so far up his own ass about politics and philosophy and art. And he throws the term artist around like crazy for someone who makes bubble gum punk music. He did however mention a new project he and presumably other artists are working on called GAS Union. It’s a concept for an organization based on a kickstarter or gofundme model where people can donate money directly to the artist and get kick backs on concert tickets, shirts and stream the albums for free if they want. It sounded like a pretty forward thinking concept, so maybe next time he is on we will hear more. Once again, I should mention I really like it when Bert is on, I think he, Ellis and Tully all feed off of each other really well, but he was just really on his political kick today and it was kind of annoying.

Heard some new Metallica from a demo they released. It was some good ol’ metallica. Finally, the guys tried the Skype thing and actually got two genuinely good calls out of it. One dude named Wally had a sweet Hank Hill and some character from Princess Bride impression and an even sweeter mustache. Also, Paige Bourne is probably going to be a legendary fan/guest on the show in the future. This is the girl who can dislocate multiple joints on her body, and folded herself in half the last time she was on. Today, she upped the ante by kicking and kneeing herself in the face and became an instant star. Thanks Paige.

Wish I had funnier things to say at the end of these, but I don’t and I have to poop. Good night.


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