Chad Reed Day: 2/22/2014

As with every year on Chad Reed day (the 22nd of February), TJES celebrates this day by singing songs, reading poetry, and haiku’s written by fans of Chad Reed and the show. Since Chad Reed day falls on Saturday this year, we celebrate a day early – even though technically it is the 22nd in Australia. Here are some fan submitted tributes to Chad Reed.


A haiku by @TonySamurai_
Why are you so fast?
Quickest Aussie on two wheels
Two-two, you are King


A poem by @sharkchucker
Though I have no idea who you are .
Or even what you do.
The wind beneath your balls is Ellis.
And the Dingo is swinging from them too.


Poem #1 by @bitPimps
My hero isn’t in comics
My hero doesn’t wear a cape
My hero doesn’t battle mythical monsters
My hero doesn’t have a special call
My hero isn’t talked about daily
No,
My hero is real
My hero used to wear green
My hero risks his limbs
For the sport he loves
My hero isn’t invincible
My hero is a normal person
My hero isn’t perfect
My hero makes mistakes
But my hero is courageous and brave
My hero rides sharp and true
My hero is CRTwoTwo

Poem #2 by @bitPimps
Chad Reed is an international super star
His amazing moto skill has taken him far
Chad Reed is tougher than a woodpecker’s lips

He soars like an eagle while doing whips
Chad Reed will never surrender

He is not a registered sex offender
While you’re casing and dealing with arm pump

Chad Reed is just hitting his powerband before the jump
Remember this legend on this day

To pay tribute to Chad Reed doesn’t make you gay

Poem #3 by @bitPimps
CRTwoTwo
He don’t use no voodoo
He relies on his talent and skill
He’s like Neo after he took the red pill
Fear not if he’s near the back of the pack
For this courageous man has huge balls in his sack
In a blink of an eye, he’s back leading the race
Standing on the podium with class and grace
Accolades? He has many over his storied career
I bet he’d still win races even if he looked like Lord Sear
If you’re looking for a hero, he’s a wise pick
If you doubt his determination, suck my motherfuckin’ dick


Poem #1 by @AZ_RedDragon
Theres this sick ass dude from Australia.
He’s faster than any other fella
His name is Chad Reed
He’s built for speed
And if ya ask, he’ll tell ya

Oh, the Places Chad Reed Will Go!
Originally by Dr. Seuss, improved by Chad Reed! And @AZ_RedDragon.
Congratulations!
Today is Chad Reed day.
Chad Reed is off to Great Places!
Chad Reed is off and away!
Chad Reed has brains in his head.
Chad Reed has feet in his shoes
Chad Reed can steer himself
any direction he choose.
Chad Reed is on his own. And he knows what he knows.
And CHAD REED is the guy who’ll decide where to go.

Poem #3 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Nantucket
With a dick so long he could suck it
And he said with a grin, as he wiped of his chin
If me ear was a cunt I’d fuck it.

Poem #4 by @AZ_RedDragon
Reed was a young man of Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The drawing was fine
The painting divine
But the aroma — ah, that was the failure.

Poem #5 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reed rides with style and class
Even when passing your ass
His voice is deep when he talks
And you hear a clink when he walks
Because his balls are made out of brass.

Poem #6 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Kurri Kurri
Always in a bit of a hurry
But when he’d see a fine lass
He’d tickle her ass
And ride away saying No Worries


T’was Chad Reed’s Birth by @deadletters

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Chad Reed’s A Space Lord by @KevinKraftSucks

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Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Chad Reed @possiblytully

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Bonus: Ellis Sings His Chad Reed Tribute Song (2/22/2011)

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HateBean Unveils His Latest Scorching Tracks

Yesterday, we got to hear some new material HateBean has been working on. Here is a preview of sorts, before the album drops. Check out these tasty licks laid down fresh on the mic, live and in-studio, written by a God and sung by an angel.


hatebean_angry_lanyard


Need more HATEBEAN? We got more HATEBEAN!

The Jason Ellis Show Target Practice Number 3

Guess who is back serving up devastating lyrics and taking target practice on TJES crew again. Yup, @CassetteCoast. You’re probably already familiar with him, if not, you should be. This is the same man that blew each and every one of us away with his first two submissions to the “Unsigned Bands” segment on the show. For reasons unknown, his track didn’t get played on today’s segment. But hopefully it will be played on a future installation of “Unsigned Bands”. Since we’re all clambering to hear what kind of hell he unleashed for his 3rd Target Practice track, let’s get right to it and find out!

TJES Target Practice No. 3 by CassetteCoast

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Lyrics:
-ok that unemployed Jew boy don’t matter much so let’s pass him up
-rawdog done got hauled off so Kevin Kraft batter up
-I mean Cumtard ur like a dumb broad that gets pumped hard and acts stuck up
-and u say u ain’t into anal but ur famous off of that butt chugging
-I mean what the fuck dog own up u went and got ur grundel all toned up
-u stupid hoe u produce the show man who’d u blow to get blown up
-I bet $20 down on Pendarvis both of y’all is retarded
-stop popping off about conference calls we ain’t falling for all of that garbage
-bitch y’all fuckin full homo hang a lanyard off of that pogo
-who can it be the Alabama queen up in a vat of beans in that photo
-somebody get dingo some clean clothes somebody get rude Jude on Drew soon
-somebody get Christian Hands Brian griffin ass up out the seat I’m bout to fall asleep
-I like Tully tho but for the sake of the song fuck that hoe in the face with a long
-dick and 2 balls rip the roof off his mothafuckin mouth when it ugh splooge off
-I Love Me Girl was as bad as a bag of nasty ass wrapped up in a pack of maxi pads
-stashed up Josh daddy’s faggot ass
-oh no that’s a low blow and a F bomb I know Jason prolly got sumn to say
-well he’s Trey Canards big stinky poopy at least that’s what his son would say
-I guess Princess Leia don’t like me now but he gon hate me more in a second
-I done got 311 Beck and Offspring to all join the board of directors
-nigga I’m hood as fuck and even I know better Cadillac Coast won’t drive no Jetta
-I’ll take a ride on that Katy train or get Shannon Guns on my dangalang
-man I’m through it’s been coo I’m fitna let y’all do what y’all do
-and if you got a guest on the show today what’s up bitch fuck you too


Jenni Meets Her Man Crush

Not many females would dare jump at a chance to write recaps on NYA, but @jennimazky did. Not only is she our only female writer who gives a much needed female perspective to the show, she has skills that prove she can not only “hang” with the boys, but beat them at their own game. Today, she got to meet her crush, @rude_jude, and like any good woman would do, she brought along her husband, @Joeyhoops because he’s a fan as well. Without further ado, here is their appearance on The All Out Show with Rude Jude and Lord Sear.

Jenni On Jude

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Bonus: Sexy Talk Time With Roscoe Bravado & Stak Cheda In Dat Ass

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