Show Recap for Friday 2/20/2015

emx-tjes-guests

Photo by: Andrew The Vagiant

It’s here, and it’s queer! Wait. No. WE… ARE… LIVE! From Tupelo. Wait. No. From Las Vegas, Vinyl at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. You might have heard about it, EllisMania 10? It’s a thing. The gang is all there, Ellis, Tully, Will, Cumtard, Andrew, Hotdog, Cullen, Dingo, Katie, the Boyce Brothers, Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man, pretty much everyone. Vinyl is at maximum capacity so some people are unable to get in to watch the show. It’s fuckin’ loud and there’s a lot of people staring at Ellis’ head and Dingo is dressed as a kangaroo. Sounds like Hotdog might have brought his own keg of beer to town in Ellis’ truck. Tully’s side bitch, Bunny, might be getting a beat down by Katie for not showing Tully her tits. Thomas Hayden Church and Betsy donated $10,000 each to go to Everlast’s cystic fibrosis charity. Everlast thanked Ellis by calling him a nigger. Continue reading

Show Recap for Thursday 2/19/2015

Happy #ThrowBackThursday! Today I’m throwin it way back to a few hours ago when Ellis opened the show by looking into the hole after a strenuous tit workout that left his man boobs sore and hard as steel. But that;a what men do, workout their tits! The discussion somehow turned to Rocky and actors playing boxers playing athletes and not really being anything of the sort. Pretty much just a bunch of pussies with boxing gloves on. Tully’s bitch ass neighbor has a bunch of rocks in her yard and gets her panties in a 3no8oshtwist every time a single piece gets moved out of place, mainly because shes a mean old witch and Tully is trying to reinforce this with his own loin seed. someday this child will know that retaliation is a lot of work but in the end it is always worth it. If this is the only thing that Tully teaches his kid this will be it as he tramples through the mediocrity on his way to success. Or getting his ass kicked, whichever comes first. Continue reading

Show Recap for Wednesday 2/18/2015

freaking-out

People are finally going to see my face!

It’s Wednesday and I’m in Vegas, listening to and recapping the show. This feels really odd. Anyway, as you know, there was no shows planned for Monday or Tuesday, so today is kind of like a Monday, Dingo is there. Apollo Creed, Kelly Slater, they had sex together. No, I got that wrong. Bald dudes attract older ladies and lot’s of chicks (young & old) have had sex with Kelly Slater. Chicks with thinning hair are hating life, nobody thinks that’s sexy. When Tully was a teenager, he inquired a stylist about getting the hair on his temples dyed gray. He still thinks it’s a good idea, but he’s just going to wait for it to happen naturally because he’s, at most, 5 years away from natural gray temple hair. Hair costs money and Ellis would rock a good wig, but it has to be next level good looking shit. Continue reading

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 2/12/2015

As Andrew the Vagiant knows all too well, we’re all fireworks, baby. Singing pair of tits, Katy Perry, opened up the show with her anthem about being a chemical reaction that quite frankly is underwhelming when you really think about it. Fuck being a firework, I’d rather be a Hellfire missile. Think about it: they travel at incredible speeds, look badass, and cause as much destruction as your mum at Old Country Buffet. Continue reading

Unsigned Bands: No You Are

So I just barely missed the submission deadline for unsigned bands, which is too bad because I really think I had a chance. Oh well, at least you can still listen to this mind melting track I put down.

Band: bitPimps and the Motherfucking Black Widow Cobra Ninjas From Hell
Song: Mop Bucket Full of Murder