Monthly Archives: May 2012

Show Re-cap For Friday 5/11/2012

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Holy fuck it Friday, and not just any Friday but Who Gives A Fuck Friday, as if you even gave a fuck about that.  Today is Dan “Hot Balls” O’Donell’s last day.  This would be a sad event if it happened yesterday but it didn’t so I don’t give a fuck. We will miss you Doug and your hot mom.  Katie (Ellis’ girlfriend, in case you’ve been under a rock) was in the studio today.  She wasn’t really on the air but you could her her cute little girlfriend laugh every time Ellis made a joke. It was adorable, but who really gives a fuck anyway.

Alaskans will hunt bears, Australians will piss on you, and women are incredibly fucked in the head.  Especially the 21 year old that called in.  Some suspect that she is really 12, but that is way too creepy so for sake of dignity, she was at least 18. She said that while making sweet sweet love to her man in the cowgirl position he got on his cell phone.  This, under most circumstances is a major no no.  However, after listening to this girl drone on and on and on for about 5 minutes I started to understand his plight, I’m surprised he didn’t try to lodge the phone into his brain.

More news, pity sex sucks, Serena Williams made a shit-tacular rap, Rawdog has never received a blow job to completion (we were all shocked by this news), and some of the funniest news I’ve heard in a long time, a man was held up by another man with a rifle and was forced to do the moon walk.  Oh and Ellis puked, I’m not sure if it was on his dick or just in the trash can. I was too busy watching my wife dry heave as she heard it, good times.

The Lemmy interview was good, Vinnie Paul was great, but today the most epic of all interviews went down.  Ellis got a surprise visit from the man, the myth, the legend, Steven Tyler!  This interview was so epic that I am not going to try to summarize it, I will however encourage you to go our good friend’s site, Cobra Tits, to listen to the Steven Tyler interview first hand.

For the end of the show the guys finally finished Worlds Greatest Worst Male Sex Change. Here’s the top 3:

3. Andre the Giant

2. Lenny from Motorbreath

1. Zakk Wylde

In my opinion all three of these guys are incredible ugly for guys let alone guys with cookies.  The only thing worse than having to stuff the sausage into any of them would having to ram jam yer mums actual swamp box, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/10/2012

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I want to be inside you

Healing news today on the show, driving a Porsche settles upset tummies. Tomorrow will be @DanOD5‘s goodbye show, his internship is over and now he must leave the nest and spread his wings. He’ll fly, fly, fly away, back to Chicago and his hot mom. George Clooney probably has some ugly chick in his past that he still longs for, even though he bangs super hot bitches. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s Brad Pitt he longs for, I don’t know. Whichever the choice is, I accept your decision George. Some chick needed to expel breast milk and for whatever reason, it wasn’t coming out so the husband sucked it out for her. NOPE! Keep pushing me, keep pushing me, you just keep on pushing my love, over the borderline – borderline! You just sang that little ditty in Madonna’s voice – and now that song is also stuck in your head, you’re welcome.

Oh Asians, you so cray

Josh Barnett was supposed to be on the show today, but after being already 45 minutes late, Shiney Shins Pendarvis got a phone call saying he would be late. No shit Sherlock. So he got rescheduled in favor of having Twitch (@twitchthis) on at his scheduled time. Apparently the Japanese have done it again, they’ve created an ice bra to help keep the sweater puppies cool during those warm summer days – way to stay cutting edge Japan! Ellis and Twitch played a little trivia game to see who’s smarter than a… a, uh… I don’t know, you can think of something. Anyway, Ellis lost and got to have his nuts tugged on by an R/C car while Twitch gently kissed his neck. Okay, that last part was an outright lie, but the truth is that both of them are going to Twitch’s party tonight, so technically it could still happen.

Is it final calls time?

And then we had final calls… final calls. Oh final callers, why are you so fucking stupid? You don’t realize you’re talking to the person you just called, you ask things like “what are you doin?”, and your reception usually seems as if you’re on the dark side of the moon. I’m really glad you don’t call throughout the show and wait until the end, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. But I also want you to choke on your Speghetti O’s, I know you can do it if you just apply yourself. And now, I have a question for you! Why did your mom cross the road? Because I told that stupid whore to get the fuck off my lawn and go graze in the pastures with the rest of the cows. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/9/2012

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Happy Hump Day all you happy humping Hedens and Heroins.  I hope that you all have been blue balled and dry rubbed till your nether regions resemble a fresh piece of beef jerky. Good times.  Super Dad was late to the show today, he was held up at the post office and received a parking ticket because of the delay.  We started off the show with news from North Carolina.  There is still heated debate whether same sex marriage should be legal or not.  I think this is a ridiculous argument, there is no reason a persons human rights should be infringed upon.  This even pertains to North Carolina’s other law that was recently brought to light, the right for cousins to marry.  If you had any questions why North Carolina is so ignorant and stupid, well now you have your answer.

We also learned that John Travolta is of the hook for offering to Flog the Bishop with a masseuse.  He apparently was in New York during this alleged pole waxing, and there was no way possible that he was beatin another dudes dick like it owed him money.  There is not much more to this story, but for the fuck of it, jacking off, waxing the wood, beatin meat, making gravy, pettin the snake, that should do it.  Discussion also moved to whether or not Travolta is gay, and no, he is not. I mean, just look at him. How could you think he’s not 100% straight.

The phones were down for most of the day and with it being Wednesday, we had a WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY MARATHON! And it went a little something like this:

Worlds Gayest Super Hero.  And the unanimous winner is He-Man.

Worlds Gayest Animal.  And your winner is……..The Seahorse.

Worlds Worst Celebrity Tranny…….Well they’re all winners in my book. And the rest of us, with the mental pictures that this WGW created, are the true losers. You just can’t unthink stuff like that.

After all this fun and games the phones finally started working again just in time for final calls and after all the usual rif-raff that seems to drag out the last half hour of the show, Josh was grilled about his current hygiene care and if it has improved.  Good news ladies, Mr. Richmond is much cleaner than he used to be, which is something that cannot be said about the compost pile your mum calls her cunt, OH!

 

Jessica Richmond – 5/9/12 (Song)

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Josh “Rawdog” Richmond would have been named Jessica if he was born a girl – 5/9/12

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“Jessica Girl”

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