2012

Posted on February 7, 2012 by bitPimps 中

It’s Rude Judesday (@rude_jude) so he stopped by the show, as per usual it was pretty funny. He mentioned #WhitePeopleWednesday and #ThirdWorldThursday Twitter trends, which are/were hilarious. Jude went for some anime porn and got some of a black dog with a big ass dick going around fucking chicks and his doggy pecker got swollen and stuck inside a chick. Fuckin’ hell, Japanese people really know how to weird shit up. Dolphins have huge dicks and when they ejaculate, it can be dangerous. Ok, time to move on before we get people posting some dolphin fanfiction.

@DanOD5 has made tentative dinner plans with the hot Italian chick! He also met another chick in the motherfucking hot tub, this chick’s Austrian, which obviously means she could be into fecal play. I don’t get it, he’s here for a week and slaying bitches left and right but Rawdog (@RadioTFB) and Cumtard (@KevinKraftSucks) aren’t getting any play. This kid either has some serious game or a pile of roofies.

Iliza Shlesinger (@iliza) stopped by the show. She wasn’t funny (at least on today’s show) and she seemed to get upset / offended about a joke, which is weird because she’s supposed to be a comedian. I don’t know who this chick is or if she’s funny or not, but getting offended by jokes doesn’t bode well for someone in comedy. Ellis just went silent while Rawdog and Tully (@possiblytully) tried to keep navigating through the mine field of awkwardness that was her interview. If you didn’t like her, Dan Diablo said she left her powerbar on the couch in the green room – so you can laugh about that. If you liked her, Dan Diablo said she left her powerbar on the couch in the green room – so you can feel sorry for her about that.

Moving along, today was also New Music Tuesday and I know how much most of you absolutely love it! And since you do love it, I’m not gonna talk about it – so HAHAFUCKINGHA! Oh, alright. I can’t be a dick to you guys. Here’s a link to “I Fink You Freeky” by Die Antwoord. There was some new Van Halen, so you know, uh stay frosty? I was driving home from work and don’t remember the rest, so enough of that. Let’s keep moving along.

Talk eventually moved on to a popular topic that has been discussed before, and that’s prison rape. Is it okay or not? Is prison okay? Which crimes deserve prison rape, which crimes don’t? Obviously this is one of those types of discussions that has no real clear answer. It’s become one of those taboo discussions like God, Abortion, and Mac vs PC. So, I’m not getting into this – not because I don’t have an opinion or not because I don’t want you to know my opinion, but because this blog post will quickly turn into a fucking essay about 50 pages long – and let’s face it, you’re probably not even reading this far.

I’ll leave you with my parting thoughts:

Do as I say, not as I do. Take that for what it’s worth. There could be a shit ton of wisdom in that, or none at all, it’s all what you make of it.
Being vague doesn’t make you mysterious, but it does make me mysterious. I know it’s unfair, but life probably hates you.
I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. Life doesn’t hate you. It loves you, a lot. It caresses you, it kisses you, it gently humps your soul, and cums inside you. Basically, the opposite of pumping your face so hard you puke and then slamming it home in your asshole – which of course is how everyone treats your mother. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 1/31/2012

Posted on January 31, 2012 by bitPimps 中

Today was a great show! It’s Rawdog’s (@RadioTFB) birthday today, he turned 26 – 13 in the pants. It’s also Rude Judesday, so he stopped by and got introduced to the Eskibro (What is the Eskibro?), via Rawdog. His maid also accidentally threw away some of his ketamine. Rude Jude’s (@rude_jude) female persona, Stephanie, loves sucking cocks after listening to Dave Mathews. She also has 3 different babies with 4 different men. So she fits right in with Rachel and Sarah. Sarah doesn’t have any babies, she has an open tab at the abortion clinic, which is totally fucking gangster.

There’s a new phone number to the show: 855-ELLIS-41 (855-355-4741)

Jude noticed Ellis was more stabbed up than usual, and Ellis apparently went to town last night. He says he was listening to Danzig and cutting himself up. Ellis also says his 10-some dream is back alive now. Jude and Ellis both think Minnie Driver is hot, however, she fucked Criss Angel – plus she’s English – so by law, she has a big head and annoying accent.

Rawdog got some awesome birthday presents: (I think this is the complete list?)

A pimp cup filled with Jager
A bag of McDonald’s Nuggets with all their different sauces
A birthday cake
Sparky (@Sparky_Fett) showed up! She brought some of her own presents:
A Burning Angel magazine with very revealing shots of herself
Lube
24 condoms
A pimp coat & hat

I have a feeling Rawdog might be getting laid tonight, possibly even anal since they did some good old fashion missionary last time. Sparky certainly talked a lot about anal while she was on the show today, as well as about double penetration, milk enemas, etc.

Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) also stopped by! He did some chocolate cake bumps with Sparky. Everlast (@OGEverlast) called in and said he was on the way with a bottle of whiskey and a Doobie Brothers album for Rawdog (listen to Rawdog and Everlast doing Long Train Running), but he had to take his mom’s dog to the hospital. At any rate, he called in to wish Rawdog a happy birthday and he might take him for a ride in his whip sometime.

There was talk about the recent Christina Aguilera photos where it looks like she might have menstrual blood coming down her leg. Google it if you want, I’m not linking to that damnation. This brought out a bunch of bleeder chicks talking about their periods. It would seem some of these girls bleed profusely at times – think like a Quentin Tarantino film. Anyways, that’s enough about bloody axe gashes.

And I leave you with that, just like I left your mom, with spunk in her hair and begging for more. OH!