Tag Archives: Rawdog

Show Re-cap For Monday 6/18/2012

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Hells to the fuckin’ yeah!

It’s Monday, everyone have a good weekend? Good, glad to hear it. Nobody really cares though, they’re all waiting for a sweet-ass re-cap from yours truly (that’s me). See how that shit works? Yea, me neither. N E WAY, WUDINIT SUCK IFA LITL GURL DID THE RECAPS? God, I’m sorry. It sounded funny in my head, but I can’t even type like that without my eye and asshole twitching. Let’s just get into the show and forget all that shit I just typed, m’kay? Dingo the doggie nutsack toucher was on the show today and revealed a couple of his farts that he recorded on his phone, they were weak in the pants. Good news guys with little dicks, you may not realize it, but you’re probably better off because at least your whole penis fits inside, rather than hitting the stop sign and only being half way in. But I’m sure dick issues don’t apply to any of you. More dick talk, specifically Ellis and his dick on the Internet and that’s about all the dick talk I’m comfortable writing about in a single re-cap.

Love ’em & leave ’em, Rawdog

Rawdog went out on his date over the weekend, and apparently it showed because the guys could see he had some sort of sore on his mouth. Turns out it probably isn’t the herps, but was more likely from the chick biting his lip. The odd thing is that he hadn’t ever noticed the sore until it was pointed out during the show. So they never did get a chance to eat mac-n-cheese or watch Arrested Development, and when asked if went to bed hungry, his response was, “I got to eat a little bit, you can read between the lines” and it was also revealed that he got his pee pee sucked on! Our little Man-Boy is growing up right before our ears, I think I can hear cheering in the distance. Tully took some drugs this weekend, his wife’s pain killers because he had a boo-boo or something, right when the pills were kicking in he heard his neighbor yelling “HELP ME! SOMEBODY, HELP ME!” so Tully dialed 911. Cops went over there and took someone out on a stretcher, alive, but that’s about all he knows. As you could imagine, that was enough to kill his buzz and so he went and did laundry.

Dude, am I a horrible fad?

Some chick that has been harassing Ellis to get with him said she was going to come over to see him and he ended up getting stood up. But that seemed to be a good thing, because they traded saucy pictures and apparently she has a big-ole clithood and it’s being questioned if he actually knows this chick. It might be the girlfriend of a really good friend of his, but it also goes to show that he doesn’t know this chick very well at all. Sounds like a case of… Risky Business. YEEAAAAHH! During the “Dude Am I Slut?” segment, the one that stuck out the most was this chick that had picked up a guy at a bar and had sex for 36 hours. She carries around a bag full of sex toys, she squirts so hard it pushes cocks out of her vag, and claims she came around over two-hundred times. She had quite a few stories about all her fucking and sucking habits, toys, etc. and in the end admitted that it was all fake, she called in because the guys were bored. Even though the story was fake, I have to give her props for making up such a wild story that included pissing a dude’s cock out of her snatch. This story may have been fake, but this question isn’t… What’s the difference between your mom and a hockey player? The hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods. OH!

And that’s a wrap!

Zolar (Video)

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Recently, the topic of bad movies came up on the show and “Zolar” was mentioned. It’s a kids movie about aliens and extreme sports. Jason has a small role, but it’s important to the plot. Take a listen to him discussing being in the movie and the video clips he’s in.

Zolar – 6/6/12

Download (link to MP3)

The movie
(Note that the shots in Jason’s scenes are out of focus, it’s the only time in the movie this happens…)

From the cast and crew DVD extra

From the behind the scenes DVD extra

Show Re-cap For Friday 6/15/2012

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Sometimes it’s the innocent looking ones you need to watch out for

I apologize in advance for what I’m about to do to you. Kickin’ it in the front seat, Sittin’ in the back seat, Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday – Gotta get down on Friday! Okay, that’s far enough. It’s out of my system and will never come back to haunt you. Who will be taking Andy “Stay Duckin'” Bell’s place to fight Ellis? Gabe Ruediger (@GabeRuediger) will be, that’s who. This will be the third UFC fighter Ellis has gone up against and he says instead of just trying to survive like with the previous two UFC fighters he’s fought, he’ll be going for the win. Ellis is going to Miami next week, or two weeks from now, something like that. He’s going to be a judge at some Hooter’s Girls bikini contest, and I think he’s also going to try and party with Dexter. Ellis left the show for a few minutes to go take a shit and live tweeted, while taking said shit. Rawdog is going out on another date with the same chick he was recently making out with at the bar. She suggested go out dancing or stay home, eat mac-n-cheese, and watch Arrested Development. That sounds like she’s up for wearing shorts with no panties, sitting on the couch, and getting finger banged while Tobias Fünke wears the same short shorts as her.

I’m high as fuck man

Hey, some chick ate squid cum and had some squid babies all up in her mouth, yo. Yummy! If you eat seafood and/or sushi, you’ve probably eaten some cum too – or if you’re an asshole to your waiter, I guess there’s a good chance you’ve eaten sperm as well. Cumtard stopped by the show to get his mouthpiece for his fight at Ellismania and trash talk @shit_toboggan, which probably is only gonna make it hurt worse when he gets his ass handed to him. Speaking dicks (*cough*Cumtard*), you ever get nervous dick when you’re getting ready to bang a chick? That’s your body telling you to be weary, maybe she’s a massive hose beast, has STDs, or maybe you’re just a homosexual and with the wrong partner, I don’t know, I’m just sayin’. @FonzoBlunt showed up as well, he too had to get his mouthpiece all set – as you may have guessed, he was allegedly higher than bird pussy.

When I’m not busy being awesome, I’m busy being fucking kick ass

In “Women, am I right?” news, a fifteen year-old girl was unaware that the seventeen year-old boy that she met online and banged, was actually a twenty-four year-old woman. The old sea hag fucked her with a fake dick, through her zipper. Fuckin’ wang chung tonight! Some chick from my neck of the woods got caught shoplifting at a Walmart or some shit, they locked her in the bathroom until the cops got there, and by the time they did, she was up in that shit cooking up some meth. There was a ton more of stupid bitches and their stupid bitch stories, but I couldn’t possibly list them all. Ellis’ demeanor on the show changed in a heartbeat, he felt the show was “gay” and he wasn’t liking it. It’s supposed to be who gives a fuck Friday, but it seemed like he started giving a fuck immediately – it happened when he got a text about skrilla. THC called in to try and cheer up Ellis, he’s such a fucking cool dude, and he seems like he really cares. Props to that guy for being an awesome feller!

Your mom/dad is moist

Kids now-a-days, and around Rawdog’s age, don’t know what metal really is because they only got to experience bands like System of a Down and the like. One thing that bothered me about awards and all that shit back in the 80’s was they would put bands like Poison in a “best new metal” or “heavy metal” category. That’s just pure D bullshit, I remember thinking, “why the fuck isn’t Metallica or Slayer in there? Now that’s metal, not fucking Def Leppard!” Anyway, whatever, too bad for you youngin’s that get shit music these days. That about covers it for this re-cap, Happy Father’s Day to all you good dads out there, I hope you all have a great weekend and get a blowjob! You know your dad’s getting one, sure it’s from that stupid bitch with a bulbous baboon ass you call a mother, but at least she gobbles up the cock like a champion. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 6/14/2012

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Driving around town I noticed that there are a lot of people on the corners with signs saying “need help”, “hungry”, “my family was killed by ninjas and I need money for karate lessons.” But this afternoon I heard a solution to this problem. According to Ellis, we should just shoot them. Put them out of their misery like the old farm dog and plant them under the apple tree so it will grow delicious apples so that we may eat them and not go hungry. The circle of life. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating, but it sounds good to me. Ellis talked about his Ellis Mania fight and has lined up a mystery MMA fighter, but he won’t tell us who until papers are singed. There will be a hologram Marlyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Jimmy Hendrix, and Jim Morrison. The only reason that I am mentioning this is so that you might imagine the the holographic gang bang that would happen if I had the controls. Ellis spent some one on one time with Devin (Snooks) last night and he said that she was sad that him and mommy aren’t together anymore. Ellis vowed to set his happiness aside and focus on making his kids happy. This is a noble thing for a father to do and hopefully on his quest he finds his own happiness along the way. On the lighter side of things, there was the discussion of who’s better, Mr. Rogers or Barney? Personally, that bloated purple brain raping bastard of a dinosaur can go choke on a thousand dicks. Anything that can sing a song that makes me contemplate suicide need to be eradicated, and yes, I’m also looking at you Nickelback.

Chris Brown and his “crew” got into a tussle (yes, I said tussle) with Drake and his “crew.” There were some words, and then someone smashed a beer bottle and cut one of Brown’s guys causing a slight gash on his chin. The only reason I am even mentioning this is because I am thoroughly disappointed with the rap community, don’t they know that broken beer bottle fights are the country music industry’s territory? They better hope that Blake and Keith don’t hear about this. June is now gay pride month, so congratulations you homos, you can celebrate by being even more fabulous than normal. Oh yeah, who would have ever guessed that along with having huge horse cocks, horses also have huge horse balls, and love hula hooping. No seriously, they fucking love it!

The “Sad Titties in The Rain” art project was due today, and as much fun as it would be to describe each one in painful detail to you, I will just post the link so you can see these shitacular pieces of art yourself (and I use the word art very loosely). http://sadtittiesintherain.tumblr.com/ Personally I think that Rawdog did the best, probably because it has lots and lots of big boobies. Fuck you, I judge it as I see it and I see boobies, clear winner. But I am not a professional art critic, Hunter Johoroskofeltafishington is, and she said that the pieces weren’t that bad, oh and she said titty a lot.

Mayhem was too late for the critique but he got a miniature showing of the guy’s work and showed a peice of his own. He was the usual Mayhem and then shit got thick son. There was heated discussion about the “N” word and its use, meaning, history. Jason was getting pissed, Miller wasn’t letting up. But in the end it all washed out and Jason and Jason will now go ride moto. Speaking of motorcycles, did you ever know that your mom once tried her hand at riding a motorcycle? Well, a picture speaks a thousand words, OH!