Tag Archives: Rawdog

Show Re-cap For Friday 8/17/2012

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Remember this guy?

Welcome to Friday’s show re-cap! Yo Ease let’s do this… I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking, king of my jungle just a gangsta’ stalkin’… Wait. Sorry, this isn’t A Tribute To Ice-T’s Colors is it? NO! It’s not! We’re all getting older, time is flying, and some people fuck holes in the ground. Jizzy, jizzy on the wall, which Disney Princess has the biggest tits of them all? An overwhelming majority say Pocahontas. TMZ caught THC, Ellis, and Pendarvis leaving the studio. TMZ wanted to ask THC about his life saving heroism that he mentioned on TJES, but he didn’t want to talk to them about it – which means that you, the listener, got to hear that story exclusively on TJES! We all good on the acronyms?

Oh the things Gabby could show you!

Rawdog’s super hot, sexy as hell, totally fingerable, absolutely fuckable, sister Gabby was on the show today – and so was @OGEverlast, who’s turning 43 tomorrow and just found out he’s having another baby. Get this shit, there’s a real possibility that the Richmond siblings might all be snowballers! Gabby, along with Everlast (and the rest of the world) were floored to hear Rawdog got snowballed, when asked if she did that to her boyfriend, Gabby kind of clammed up and was clearly uncomfortable. I assume probably more because she’s hearing talk about her brother, his load, and him eating his load. That has to be one of the most awkward conversations to have with your brother and/or sister in the room.

Sup bitches!

Donald Schultz had super massive news today, he called in from Switzerland, piss drunk and slurring his words like a motherfucker – to tell us that the huge news is that he’s jumping off some big ass cliff that nobody else has ever jumped off of. Also, having two friends die is better than having three friends die. Next up, listeners got to call in with their favorite Rawdog stories, you know, so Gabby knows just a little bit more about her big brother. If you have been keeping score, she’s learned her brother: Got snowballed, got jacked off by 3 porn stars and ended up finishing by himself in a Popeye’s bathroom, he boned Sparky 2 times with the same rubber, his lost car at Coachella story, and how he washes his ass in the shower.

It’s true.

Listeners also go a treat as we got to hear “Doing Stuff with Gabby”, where she tried to explain how to tap a keg, change a flat bike tire, unload a boat off a trailer into a lake, how to start a gas grill, and how to get rid of a raccoon in your home. There were a couple more, but fuck it – it’s Friday and I don’t give a shit. Ellis will be working hard tonight and tomorrow, slapping porn stars, amongst other things, and recording it with a high speed camera. I don’t care if you film it in HD, high speed, a shaky camcorder, a phone, or a goddamned 8mm projector – hot naked bitches are awesome no matter what. Your mom was filmed in HD once, it was when NASA accidentally landed the Curiosity rover on her fat ass instead of Mars. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/16/2012

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I hear 90 is the new WTF

Good evening folks, hope you are all snuggled in by the fire with your hot coco and your snuggie. Oh wait, is summer, fuck that shit. I hope your naked in the pool, that’s more like it. Toady started off like a pyro in a fireworks shop, first they talked about dino on dino violence and how that shits uncool, but its a good thing they’re dead otherwise the violence would be out of control. Bam had Kat Von D on his show, if you heard it then you were the only one. Rawdog laid his man card on the table and told his girlfriend that the chaps are out and she hasn’t brought it up since. Jackie Stallone, Sylvester’s mom, is pretty hot for a 90 something broad. Don’t fucking cuss around your fucking kids otherwise the little shits will start talking like I fucking do. Chicks that fake orgasms are just ruining it for themselves, honestly, if your man can’t get you off, then he really doesn’t care to begin with. RawdiggidyDog doesn’t think that Cher is the ultra massive icon that she is, and instead of making the argument, I will just say that she is. It’s on the internet, that means it’s true.

In Drunk MMA Sasquatch News, Forrest Griffin will not retire from the MMA, at least not yet. There’s a kid in Texas that should be recruited by half the college football teams in the country right now. 12 year old Elijah Earnheartis 6’1″ and weighs 197lbs, he would

When is Sandra Bullock gonna get here?

dominate, at least until it was time for recess, but after that, WATCH OUT! Some jealous dude is suing Tommy Lee because he ripped of his idea for the upside down drums, but lets face it, only Tommy Lee could pull that off and this pud whacker is just jealous of his mad skills. Linden B Jhonson was the most Boss President ever, and some chick from some movie fucked the director and got canned from the sequal. Looks like its back to the casting couch for you!

The Church of Hayden has returned! That’s right ladies and fondlers, the number one famous celebrity and Emmy Award winning actor Thomas Hayden Church has arrived, again. Not only that but just before getting to the swinghouse, THC became the hero of one small throated man. This dude was choking on some pasta and like a hero, THC jumped in and gave him the Heimlich until the sweet sweet breath of life reentered his body. They also talked about movies, surfing, Marlon Brando, their Dads, and his new movie, Killer Joe, in a theater near you. If you missed the interview/guest appearance, our friend Cobra Tits has once again proven that he is the man, here’s the interview. At the end they played, Guess Who’s Nipple, and Josh lost. For losing Ellis got to pick someone out of his phone to text and as we hoped, Jason picked his girlfriend. Unfortunately they thought bitPimps suggestion was too mean (I will see you tomorrow, my girlfriend is being a bitch right now), and went with the confirmation that Josh WILL wear the “assless chaps.” I tried to get yer mum a pair of assless chaps once, but I felt bad after I found out how many cows they would have to kill to wrap them around her gigantic gelatinous thighs, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 8/15/2012

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Texting and driving, it can be dangerous, so remember, wait until you get to a stop light, but your beer in the cup holder and then text. That way you can do it safely. Word on the street is that Thomas Haden Church is back in town and he reclaimed his car. And in case you haven’t heard it’s not just any car, its a Porsche Supra Extra Turbo with built in jet packs and rocket launcher. Okay maybe not, but it is pretty fucking awesome. Josh’s load sharing girlfriend has yet again stepped up her game, now she wants to take Josh to a Goth Bar. But that’s not the really great part, she want’s him to wear assless chaps there. He made a joke of it and kinda said no, but she texted him again today (probably while driving) about it. I have a feeling that in the near future we will start seeing a more clumsy Josh, falling down stairs, hitting door knobs, you know, girl shit. Hell, even a gay Canadian bull riding cowboy wouldn’t wear assles chaps, and that’s straight from the horses mouth!

Are you a Porn Star? Do you know a Porn Star? Do you have rug burns on your dick because all you do is “get to know” Porn Stars? Well good news for you and your beaten meat, the Ellis Show is trying to get more porn stars on. Are you done groaning yet? I just hope that these will be entertaining and not just the usual ditsy girls that have a protein count that’s usually reserved for body builders. Speaking of Porn Stars, did you know that David “I ruined VanHalen” Lee Roth has a daughter in porn? Of course you didn’t, who pays attention to their names anyhow.

She’s got her fathers eyes.

Big Gay Baby is still married to Big Ass Kardashian, I think that he is throwing a fit over the prenup or some shit, I could care less, that douche canoe got more money for those two days than most people make in a few years. Will “was that lightning or just my shins in the sun” Pendarvis brought in a new game, Pop Culture Pop Quiz. Rawdog won, which means that Rawdog lost, anybody that knows that much about kid shows and doesn’t have kids shouldn’t be allowed near schools or parks. It would seem that there is a RedBull Conspiracy going on in the swinghouse. Someone put full cans of Redbull outside the fridge while putting the empty box in the fridge. Simple case of mistake, maybe someone got a little distracted? Fuck no! Teberculosis Bitch Navarro claims that he did what Pendo told him to and Pendavich says nay. Maybe we will never know, it will always be a mystery, that and those fucking magnets.

Dave Mustane is entertaining thousands of Asians with his political theory’s, which is a much better idea than doing it with his music. Some nasty skank girl got a tattoo on her butthole (yes I giggled when I typed butthole, try it). If you want, you can watch it, and if I know you, you do. In an effort to not wake up with a bondage mask on, Ellis had Josh try his pimp and on the part time call screeners  Erika Ashley (@Erika_Ash) and Jolene (@JoleneParties), and he proved that even for a little dude whose only 5’2″ (Ok, he’s more like 5’6-1/2″) that he knows how to treat a bitch when she steps out of line, even though we all know Erika could drop him with one swing. Tomorrow shall be quite interesting. Our favorite stylish sluts, Rachel and Sarah, did some final calls and we learned that Sarah is bleeding like a stuck pig and thats cool with her, more lube for the lovin. The rest of the final calls were average, like usual. That’s all for tonight folks, sorry but my best endings are in your moms ass, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 8/14/2012

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The ghost of Rawdog made his debut on the show today, he claims to have saw bright lights and Saint Peter trying to snowball him. If you were to believe this apparition, he said he told good old Saint Peter North that it was not his time, but we all know he loves his own load, so there ya go. Jude was also on the show today, talking about how he got all fucked up on morphine pills – which just might be the pill Tully has been looking for. And speaking of Jude and pills, he wants to shove a morphine pill up Rawdog’s sister’s butt, no biggie. However, Rawdog does not share Jude’s enthusiasm for his sisters holes and so he is cock blocking. This is a man that didn’t spit out his own load that got snowballed into his mouth because he didn’t want to make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable. When addressing the snowballing move to his girlfriend, he said “that’s kind of weird”, her response was “don’t be such a baby” Sweet Jesus! This chick is going to rule over the Rawdog, it’s starting to sound like an abusive relationship.

Keeping with the abusive relationship topic, Ellis said everyone should just leave Mayhem alone. He’s going through a tough time that he was unprepared for and it’s a hard transition to make. I really know nothing of Mayhem’s plight, but I do wish him all the best and you should too – if not only just to be a compassionate human. More talk about Staph Shaffington and his infected ding-a-ling, quite a few callers chimed in about the staph infections they’ve had in various places, such as on their balls, shaft, ass crack, etc. Shout out to all those staph genitals out there in the world, you make my eye twitch! In news that’s not really news at all, America is on the cusp of an obesity epidemic. Lot’s of people are overweight and many of them could probably do something about it, but choose not to. Whatever, there’s not much more you can really say about that except, BOOM-BOBBA-BOOM! Today was NMT, that is all. And now I leave you with a final thought, remember all those screaming sounds your mom makes when she’s getting DP’ed? Doesn’t it sound exactly like Stevie Wonder answering his clothes iron? OH!

P.S. Tully gave our site a shout out today at the end of the show! Thanks to @EllisMate, @RadioTFB, and @possiblytully because that gave us a boner!