Tag Archives: Moto News

Show Re-Cap for Monday 3/23/2015

Posted on by
Reply
gotcha-for-3-minutes

You’re going to stop reading after 1.

You feel that? Can ya feel me balls tightening as I’m inside of you? That’s right, I’m putting the sexy back into Monday. Okay, not really. But it’s the thought that counts, right? Did you all catch Rude Jude on the Howard Stern show today? You’d be a lot cooler if you did. Dingo is back in studio today, you probably heard him already though. Ellis isn’t down with pimps and ho’s anymore, he thinks he done with prostitutes, but that’s his brain talking, we’ll see what his dick has to say about it when it wakes up. Continue reading →

Show Re-Cap for Monday 1/5/2015

Posted on by
Reply
no-easy-way

How do I recap again? It’s been 2-3 weeks.

It’s a new recap to accompany a new year with the same show! And it wouldn’t technically be a typical Monday if Dingo weren’t there, right? So he is. Last night was a “new moon” or “wolf moon”, I saw it, Ellis saw it – he was naked & breathing with it. Dingo did not catch it, so he’s going to look for it tonight, though it won’t be there. I mean, the moon will be there, but it won’t be the “wolf moon” tonight. Continue reading →

Show Re-Cap for Monday 8/25/2014

Posted on by
Reply
kattan-pm-dawn

Don’t get it? It’s okay, it’s a joke from Foreally Show.

No Tully today – he’s not feeling well, so we’ve got Ellis, Dingo, & Christian James Hand. Maybe Katie later too. Some no talent kooks have moved the chairs, the camera, and whatever else they could, part of that whole sharing the studio thing built into the contract. At around age 8-9, that’s when kids start snooping through mom & dad’s shit and finding, weed, porn, pistols, lube, Christmas presents, and what have you. Supercross the Dragon vibes himself when he see’s his own reflection in the mirror, he’s a moron in the human world, but in the lizard world, he’s probably your average bloke. Dingo knows where Supercross’s dick is hidden, you may remember Dingo would cradle his dog’s balls because the dog liked it that way. Ellis has a new hand PG rated fuck you finger, he puts up his thumb & index finger as if to be saying this is how big your dick is. Ellis saw Chris Kattan at a liquor store. Oh, no. Ellis wasn’t there to shop for liquor, he was there to shop for flowers. Anyway, Ellis thought it was a dude that worked at the weed clinic where Ellis got his doobage, but turns out, nope, it was Kattan. Ellis said he looked like shit and couldn’t even bring himself to take video of him. Once and for all, is John Travolta gay? Gee. I don’t know. But who cares. Jake Ellenberger punched Ellis in the face for 4 or 5 rounds this weekend! Also, there’s cake in the studio!

News time will Ellis. A German man was evicted by his landlord because he persistently used a squeaky sex swing in his apartment, which frequently bothered his neighbors and caused many complaints. Suge Knight news, he got shot a bunch of times on Sunday evening at a Chris Brown party or some shit. Ken Block news, Ken Block got 2nd in a big race this weekend. And there ya go, Ken Block news. Moto news with Dingo, pee on Dungey, that loser! And now, time for a game, it’s You Sir, Are A Moron. From the green room, who would be your choice for navigator in a rally car? And here comes Dingo with his story about the one time he changed a flat tire in a rally race in the desert. Would you rather be a worried genius or a happy idiot? Based on your karma, you will come back re-created as what? Or as Dingo called it, “reincanarnated.” Pound for pound. Do you give up porn or weed for the rest the of your life? If you were at Heaven’s gate & God asked why he should let you in, what would you say? I missed a question or maybe 2 in there some where, but you’ll live.

maybe-not-really

Am I qualified to report the news?

MMA News time. There were fights. People fought at these fights and some people won their fight and some people lost their fight. Cung Le’s face got rearranged by “I know where you can get a great steak” Bisping. Ben Henderson got knocked out in the first round. And there was more stuff, you can Google that shit. Street League news time. Nyjah Huston won everything like everyone predicted because he’s the “it” guy right now. More moto news time from moto correspondent Dingo. Ken Roczen won the 450 motocross championship and likes pissing on people while they’re taking a shit. All this makes perfect sense because he is German. The fuzz is investigating Steve-O for his prank stunt against SeaWorld, where he changed a highway sign to read “SeaWorld Sucks”. It only took 2 days to get up on the sign. Katie keeps sending Ellis photos of hot chicks during the show. Some dumb chick is suing some dumb show she was on because she was too dumb to realize what the dumb show was about. So dumb. More ALS challenge videos, some dude put Icy Hot in his pants, ate a pepper, and… ahhh fuck it. You’ve seen a million videos of this shit. Jetta is falling apart and we’re hearing it happen live, he edited out the main portion of the video Ellis wanted to share. Ellis is black, he loves fried chicken and he was *bah dah bah bah bah*, lovin’ it.

sad-r2d2

No Tully makes R2-D2 sad.

Hey, you know that whole Suge Knight got shot story? Well it doesn’t end there, some chick got shot in the ass during that whole incident. Shoebox is trying to his best Tully impression by giving us news, but nobody is having it. And now it’s time for shock pictionary. Cumtard will be drawing while Katie & Dingo try to guess versus Jetta drawing while Ellis and Shoebox try to guess. Team Ellis was winning with a commanding lead until the end when Cumtard, Dingo, & Katie found some synergy and came back. The game devolved into a constant shocking of Cumtard & Jetta until both were left helpless and in the fetal position on the floor. Once the game was wrangled back in, Team Ellis had 20 seconds to guess 1 final drawing. It didn’t happen so Team Tard ended up winning the game. Last 10 minutes of the show, Greg Fitzsimmons stopped by to help close out the show and drop some knowledge on motocross, because he’s such a huge fan. He talked about his shows Monday night on Howard 101, his Prius driving skills, his kids soccer game, and his 1 hour special on Hulu. He was texting his wife about his 13-year-old son’s soccer game and eventually asks what she’s wearing. Turns out, it was his son doing the texting on his mother’s phone. Awkward. And there ya go. That’s the show for this Monday. There’s a good possibility that Tully might not be in tomorrow either, so prepare yourself for that. He will be back when he’s no longer sick. Good night, and good luck.

Show Re-Cap for Monday 8/11/2014

Posted on by
Reply
eminem-is-afraid

Dingo’s man crush Monday.

It’s Monday, which means it’s Dingo Monday after Voda Spay Monday, even though he didn’t Voda today, only Ellis. Dingo’s apartment downtown is kind of party central. One of Diddy’s son’s is looking to possibly use that same apartment building for some kind of release party. As cool as his apartment complex is, they don’t cater – but it’s all good because this is 2014 and there’s an app for that. Dingo loves Eminem and he got to see him live on Friday night, thanks to Rihanna’s manager. Eminem walks like a god right past Dingo, we’re talking like 10 feet from him. A joint manages to get passed around through some heavy hitters in the VIP area. Who gets caught with it, Dingo. He was told to throw it out immediately, but he did the pretend through and left it under his foot. A few minutes goes by and he tries to retrieve the doobage but can’t see very well. Suddenly a flashlight shines to help him see, he picks it up and goes to hand it to whoever helped out by providing the flashlight. BAM, it’s the same cop that busted him the first time and gets a verbal scolding and a stiff warning and that’s the end of the story. Ellis had an Uber driver pick him up & he said something about Armenians. Turns out the driver was Armenian, so Jason called his Armenian friend from Australia and they ended up bro’ing down by the end of it and hugged it out on the street. Ellis also saw Gabe Ruediger over the weekend and Gabe finally came clean about punching a fan (Nipplopolis’ husband) at the bar after EllisMania 9. Ellis also went to a sex dungeon this weekend, with Katie and her girlfriend. He got paddled and quickly realized he didn’t want to be that guy, he wants to be the guy holding the paddle. It’s cool, Dingo doesn’t find him any less attractive for him wanting to be the dungeon master. Did you know that sharks loose 300,000+ teeth in a lifetime? I don’t know if that’s completely accurate or not, it’s from Ellis.

pitbull-spanish-time

I want to booooooone you, esé!

Police are looking for Jonathan Koppenhaver (War Machine) for allegedly beating the shit out of his porn star girlfriend, Christy Mack. Kailin Curran is in the studio, she’s a female MMA fighter who likes to make other women bleed. I mean bleed more than they normally do. As part of her training for her upcoming fight, she kicked Cumtard in the flabs (aka abs) and doubled him over straight away with a 10% kick. One can only imagine the white donut powder that could have expelled from his pores after that kick. Then it was time for Jetta’s turn to get a kick to his stomach to help blow up her Instagram, but with a twist. She did a double leg kick, first to Cumtard again and then a special delivery to care package to Jetta. So Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier were on SportsCenter and hot mics caught them shit talking one another between breaks. Did you know Pitbull has a channel on SXM now? Dingo does, because he knows him pretty well. Pitbull played at Dingo’s birthday party before he really blew up, back when he was just Muttbull. Remember little Tyler Posey? He hosted some awards show or some shit and J-Lo was there. Kellen Lutz is also Dingo’s friend, he was there at the awards show and also went to the Eminem show with Ding. I’m bored, let’s move on.

12pack-to-violence

But seriously folks, can’t we all just get along?

Ellis will be on Dr. Drew’s HLN show today, I think. He’s supposed to talk about War Machine on the show, so he’ll do just that – god damn it! Or maybe he’ll wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and a monocle and provide alternate theories on what actually went down between War Machine, his porn star girlfriend, and another man. DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNN!!! Tim Silvia is texting with updates to the story and then sent a photo of War Machine’s dick. During dick pic updates, Christy Mack posted graphic photos and her side of the story, on Twitter. Crazy shit man, crazy. Wilson chimed in that maybe Ellis’ angle on the story is that he himself was in an abusive relationship when his then girlfriend would beat the shit out of him for smoking weed and whatnot. Speaking of offensive, body odor man. You gotta keep that shit in check, you can’t just going around dropping your body odor bombs all over normal people. Same goes for you men and women wearing way too much or way too strong cologne or perfume. Get your shit together people, it’s not rocket science. If you walk past people and all them sneeze & start crying, you might be the smelly one. Dr. Drew wants a cock shot selfie of Ellis along with a sexy bio. For the website I mean, maybe Drew will print it & keep it his wallet too, but he wants it under the guise of needing it for the website, so… I guess TMZ will let us know he starts whackin’ it to the selfie. On a less domestic violencey note, Ellis will be leaving tomorrow evening to go to New York to fight for his right to have more control of Faction.

eye-popping-news

Domestic violence, death, and a suicide? Damn Monday, you really kicked ass today.

Moto News time, Ryan Dungey is going to take the series. He’s not currently leading the standings, but he’s got the skills to shit on everyone and take the outdoor series. Did you know Nate Hotdog is a reformed cigarette smoker? Also, why is Wilson still disappearing downstairs to the designated smoking section? The guys watched a bunch of videos of portly mothers getting into verbal altercations with kids at skate ramps and such. Just hit YouTube and you’ll run across a ton of those, it’s every other video. Hey, Chael Sonnen competed in some BJJ Metamoris 4 event in LA over the weekend, despite being fired and warned by the athletic commission he could be fined $250,000 smack-a-roo’s. He tapped. Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock have a new reality show called “Gym Rescue” that will compete with the myriad of other “Rescue” shows all over the fucking TV. Sweet Jesus, when will these shows end? Oh, that’s right, never. Because America’s appetite for pure turd television is insatiable. Shark Week is on again. You’ll be amazed to know that you’ll see: sharks swimming, sharks eating, sharks outside of cages, sharks in cages, sharks jumping out of the water, sharks going to the shark dentist, sharks being tagged, sharks on sharks, sharks getting rescued, and sharks rescuing shitty animals from their mundane lives by eating them alive. A-fucking-mazing shark stuff, am I right? In non-shark related news, Tony Stewart accidentally ran over and killed a fool who got out of his vehicle on the track to run over and flap his arms at Tony for racing. While you’re on YouTube looking at women berating children on skateboards, you’ll no doubt run into Tony Stewart in his death cart running over a dude. Also, Robin Williams died of an apparent suicide. Happy fucking Monday!