Here we are again, sisters. Another Monday. So what does the show have in store for us today? Let’s find out. But first, I have to get off this damned conference call. Work. Y U NO LET ME LISTEN TO SHOWZ? I shouldn’t even be on this call. Okay, enough crying from my end. So yeah, I missed the first 30 minutes of the show, so hopefully you caught that bit. When I came in, Ellis was talking about a house, Tully was talking about Iggy and The Stooges, having a good time, drinking, and ugly chicks at the bars. From what I’m gathering, I think they may be talking about how Ellis went to the club for Dingo’s 29th birthday. Dingo hates more people than he lets on, he thinks Jason is the type of person who is going to tell you straight away if he doesn’t like you, while Dingo is more the kind of person who will hate you behind your back. And that’s why Ellis got this radio show. Dingo is already planning on his 30th birthday party, a family trip to Mexico. Tully had a dream he was graduating high school and woke up depressed as shit when he realized that he’s not 17, he’s a 37-year-old man who just happens to be jealous of Dingo’s youthful age. Tiger’s going to be in a 50 cc moto race in February! He rode for 3 hours straight over the weekend. Some Jacob dude called in claiming to an old friend of Dingo’s. Cool story bro. Brendan Schaub’s visit to the show last week was partially highlight on MMAJunkie.com, specifically his comments about Brock Lesnar. Moto News. There was some talk of it, did you catch it? Bummer, dude, because now it’s break time.
Aussie News times, there was a riot in Melbourne over… darts. You do not fuck around at a darts competition, that shit is serious fucking business and your ass better be prepared. For clarification sakes (you’re welcome Canadians), we’re talking about actual darts, not cigarettes. People thought there was a shark in the surf in New South Wales, turns out it was an eastern brown snake, a motherfucker killer. He just swam around, checked out the surf and beach and then went to go party and kill. Kangaroo musk smells like maple syrup and Indian food. Just so ya know. Aussie sayings, you’re not going to get them, so let’s skip that and make room for Eli Tomac to call into the show. He did, he called. I bet to moto fans out there, it was extremely cool. Oh, you missed that part? Bummer, dude, because I kinda started zoning out. I can make some shit up if it makes ya feel any better? Fine. Eli went fast and was got so fast he won. And when he won, he fucking kicked Dungey straight in the balls and the two started fighting right there. Shit was a crazy but by the time the police broke up the fight, everyone was cool and ready to play some fucking darts, man. Again, not cigarettes (you’re welcome Canadians.)
Will’s in studio to practice his boxing skills, in preparation for his fight with Cumtard. Will squeezed his giant hands into some boxing gloves that didn’t fit. He threw a few combinations, stick and move, stick and move, just with any of the move. Sounded like he got into a groove pretty quick and started putting some power behind his punches. He was winded by the end of his little workout session, he knew he was holding his breath, so at least he’s aware and can work on his boxing shortcomings. This got Tully super excited, so he threw in his mouth guard and demanded Will spar him. At first, neither of them were blocking each others punches, even though they started off slow. Very quickly, things sped up a bit and more power was being added and Will started to really show the extent of how much damage he’s going to inflict on Cumtard. He slipped a few punches and got into a stance that made it hard to hit him. Cumtard couldn’t take Will getting all the help and praise so he then asked to spar Tully, which Tully was more than willing to accommodate. After a few dainty tard punches, things once again started to escalate quickly as Tully increased the power he put behind his punches. He started backing Cumtard up and saw an open spot and took it, Cumtard’s forehead met Tully’s fist. Tully continued to overwhelm Cumtard. So now that Tully sparred both Will and Cumtard, what were their grades? There is no comparison when it comes to power, Will was much more powerful than Cumtard. Cumtard seemed to be less gassed though and probably moved a little better. By this initial report card from Tully, it seems like Cumtard better start getting very okay with the idea of eating onion rings off a gay man’s dick. And with that, time for a break.
Aaaand we’re back. Ryan Decenzo and TJ Rogers are in studio. They’re both professional skateboarders and both sponsored by The Red Dragons. Both are beady-eyed mole people from Canada yet living and
working skating in the US on a visa. Unsurprisingly, Dingo knows them. Of course he does. They talked about what it’s like to be a Red Dragon today and what it was like growing up watching the old dudes like Ellis doing their crazy shit. They’re riding them new fangled skateboards with carbon fiber in it and shit. One of them is completely free-balling and flying solo, but both are just traveling around banging sluts until they get tired of them and then move on. They continued to talk about skateboarding and skateboarders and stuff. Go figure, right? Break time.
A New Jersey field of grass is in some drought conditions because of some comments it made. We’re actually talking about a pastor, not a pasture. Anyway, he basically throttled some kid in the chest and “crumpled” him for Jesus and says some mah-fuckers need a good crumpling in the Lords name. Then there was fill in the blank news with Wilson and the crew, I was driving home from work so not notes on that segment. Someone has Katie Perry cologne and it looks like they’ve used at least half of it. That’s embarrassing. A listener named Lee (I think) had a fight suggestion where both contestants are blindfolded, but also wearing ear pieces and being fed instructions from their corner. Will we see that fight come to fruition? Who knows. There was a test run with Will and Cumtard blindfolded with everyone yelling instructions at them. It was chaos and oddly enough, Dingo didn’t yell all that much. Basically neither of them listened to a thing that was said and Will reduced Cumtard to a ball of laughter again, much like his earlier bout with Tully. To give it a double blind study test like the professionals, Dingo and Tully are giving this blindfolded instruction fight a shot. It was much more like Rock’em Sock’em Robots as both Dingo and Tully actually listened to the commands and it ended with a nice uppercut from Tully that gave Dingo a taste of knuckle sandwich. Ellis is going to be on Dr. Drew’s show tonight, but it was late notice and his ass is bleeding, but he still plans on going. And there you have it. The show. The recap. And those balls! If you haven’t licked the, you must!