No Tully today – he’s not feeling well, so we’ve got Ellis, Dingo, & Christian James Hand. Maybe Katie later too. Some no talent kooks have moved the chairs, the camera, and whatever else they could, part of that whole sharing the studio thing built into the contract. At around age 8-9, that’s when kids start snooping through mom & dad’s shit and finding, weed, porn, pistols, lube, Christmas presents, and what have you. Supercross the Dragon vibes himself when he see’s his own reflection in the mirror, he’s a moron in the human world, but in the lizard world, he’s probably your average bloke. Dingo knows where Supercross’s dick is hidden, you may remember Dingo would cradle his dog’s balls because the dog liked it that way. Ellis has a new hand PG rated fuck you finger, he puts up his thumb & index finger as if to be saying this is how big your dick is. Ellis saw Chris Kattan at a liquor store. Oh, no. Ellis wasn’t there to shop for liquor, he was there to shop for flowers. Anyway, Ellis thought it was a dude that worked at the weed clinic where Ellis got his doobage, but turns out, nope, it was Kattan. Ellis said he looked like shit and couldn’t even bring himself to take video of him. Once and for all, is John Travolta gay? Gee. I don’t know. But who cares. Jake Ellenberger punched Ellis in the face for 4 or 5 rounds this weekend! Also, there’s cake in the studio!
News time will Ellis. A German man was evicted by his landlord because he persistently used a squeaky sex swing in his apartment, which frequently bothered his neighbors and caused many complaints. Suge Knight news, he got shot a bunch of times on Sunday evening at a Chris Brown party or some shit. Ken Block news, Ken Block got 2nd in a big race this weekend. And there ya go, Ken Block news. Moto news with Dingo, pee on Dungey, that loser! And now, time for a game, it’s You Sir, Are A Moron. From the green room, who would be your choice for navigator in a rally car? And here comes Dingo with his story about the one time he changed a flat tire in a rally race in the desert. Would you rather be a worried genius or a happy idiot? Based on your karma, you will come back re-created as what? Or as Dingo called it, “reincanarnated.” Pound for pound. Do you give up porn or weed for the rest the of your life? If you were at Heaven’s gate & God asked why he should let you in, what would you say? I missed a question or maybe 2 in there some where, but you’ll live.
MMA News time. There were fights. People fought at these fights and some people won their fight and some people lost their fight. Cung Le’s face got rearranged by “I know where you can get a great steak” Bisping. Ben Henderson got knocked out in the first round. And there was more stuff, you can Google that shit. Street League news time. Nyjah Huston won everything like everyone predicted because he’s the “it” guy right now. More moto news time from moto correspondent Dingo. Ken Roczen won the 450 motocross championship and likes pissing on people while they’re taking a shit. All this makes perfect sense because he is German. The fuzz is investigating Steve-O for his prank stunt against SeaWorld, where he changed a highway sign to read “SeaWorld Sucks”. It only took 2 days to get up on the sign. Katie keeps sending Ellis photos of hot chicks during the show. Some dumb chick is suing some dumb show she was on because she was too dumb to realize what the dumb show was about. So dumb. More ALS challenge videos, some dude put Icy Hot in his pants, ate a pepper, and… ahhh fuck it. You’ve seen a million videos of this shit. Jetta is falling apart and we’re hearing it happen live, he edited out the main portion of the video Ellis wanted to share. Ellis is black, he loves fried chicken and he was *bah dah bah bah bah*, lovin’ it.
Hey, you know that whole Suge Knight got shot story? Well it doesn’t end there, some chick got shot in the ass during that whole incident. Shoebox is trying to his best Tully impression by giving us news, but nobody is having it. And now it’s time for shock pictionary. Cumtard will be drawing while Katie & Dingo try to guess versus Jetta drawing while Ellis and Shoebox try to guess. Team Ellis was winning with a commanding lead until the end when Cumtard, Dingo, & Katie found some synergy and came back. The game devolved into a constant shocking of Cumtard & Jetta until both were left helpless and in the fetal position on the floor. Once the game was wrangled back in, Team Ellis had 20 seconds to guess 1 final drawing. It didn’t happen so Team Tard ended up winning the game. Last 10 minutes of the show, Greg Fitzsimmons stopped by to help close out the show and drop some knowledge on motocross, because he’s such a huge fan. He talked about his shows Monday night on Howard 101, his Prius driving skills, his kids soccer game, and his 1 hour special on Hulu. He was texting his wife about his 13-year-old son’s soccer game and eventually asks what she’s wearing. Turns out, it was his son doing the texting on his mother’s phone. Awkward. And there ya go. That’s the show for this Monday. There’s a good possibility that Tully might not be in tomorrow either, so prepare yourself for that. He will be back when he’s no longer sick. Good night, and good luck.