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Tag Archives: Mike Tully
Show Re-cap For Friday 2/24/2012
It’s Friday and you know what that means: Sheep are fucking dumb and Rawdog’s car is a pile of shit. There was talk about making a new Rawdog t-shirt, and you know that’s a fucking killer idea so hopefully that actually happens. I even came up with concept t-shirt that I’d totally wear. See it over there on the right? No dude, click on it. It’s right there. ==> Other ideas came in, such as “Free Rawdog” (like Free Willy), “Where’s My Trust Fund”, “Welcome To The Jigga-Budda-Boo Show”, “Feed Rawdog” (like Paris Hilton holding her dog but with Ellis’ face on Paris and Rawdog’s face on the dog), and of course “Godwar”. There were more but I’m already tired of typing t-shirt slogans, so let’s just keep pushing forward.
Ashanti. I just wanted to say that I typed her name once in my lifetime. Plus it sounds funny, almost like a cute swear word or something. Anyway, enough about her. Also, The Oscars. And also, enough about them too. Fuckin’ Oscars are fuckin’ stupid. Hey, here’s a totally disturbing picture of a hairless bear. Fuck that thing too, after all it is Who Gives a Fuck Friday. Flibbertigibbet. Just wanted to type that too, sorry. Moving on…
From Tully’s Bullshit news segment, an 8 year-old got a sex change, some dude got arrested for having kids spit, piss, and shit on him, and some unlucky chick in Texas got shot, from a gun fired in Mexico! The first two stories are fucked up, the bitch that caught some lead – that’s fucking awesome (as long as it doesn’t happen to me.) A 20 ton boulder fell on some dudes car and he lived. He’s a couple inches shorter, but he lived. Okay, that last part I totally made up, he’s not shorter – or is he?
More Cumtard torture today, he had to make some “shocking” confessions – so you should totally read into that. Shocking is the key word there in case you’re a total moron. And if you are a total moron, then read this next sentence: Fuck! He’s getting shocked you fool, I don’t know how you even exist. Okay, back to shocking confessions:
- When he was a little kid, he did some gay shit a couple times. His mom put him in daycare, he was 4 or 5 and he bit some kids nuts. We’re talking pants down and teeth to bald nuts. Disturbing.
- He said when his whole family would be over at the house, he used to hide behind the curtains and punch his boner. Creepy.
- At summer camp when he was around 6 or 7 he and another kid got out of their sleeping bags and touched each others wieners. Shocking.
It’s Friday, I’m bringing this thing to an end, and I’m calling your mother to come over so I can take a dump on her chest. OH!
Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/23/2012
Yeaaaaa motherfuckers. Let’s just jump right into it. Talk started off with a Tweet Tully had made the night before, about a hotel where you can act like a baby. I believe the consensus is that it would be a great idea. Then it turned to what’s the greatest thing to spend $2000 on. I don’t think that went anywhere, or if it did, I missed it. There was quite a bit of talk about Jason’s upcoming book, “I’m Awesome: One Man’s Triumphant Quest to Become the Sweetest Dude Ever”, and how high it might rank on the best seller’s list. Moving on…
Rawdog first smoked pot when he was a sophomore in college, during a night of playing strip poker and truth or dare. Sophomore in college / truth or dare. It sounds so stupidly innocent if weren’t for the fact that the chick Rawdog was crushing on ended up topless, and also ended up hooking up with some other dude. Wha-wha-whaaaa. Poor little fella. Hmm… what else was there, let’s see…
Hypothetical question: If you were 70 years old, would you rather lose your dick or your life savings? I say life savings, you’re most likely near the end of your days anyway, you could survive. That has to be much better than carrying around a colostomy bag that you’re constantly shaking and dropping because you’re old a frail. And you just know you’re getting piss all over the place, pants, car, chair, etc.
Sounds like EllisMania 8 will be moved from the weekend of May 12, to the weekend of May 19 because Andy Bell (@andybell) has something to do the weekend of the 12th. Alicia, one of the chicks that fought in EllisMania 7 dressed as a taco was in the studio, she didn’t say much. So yeah, that happened. The future version of Jason Ellis called into the show, he was 50 and had some really uplifting and solid advice – life is going to get worse but it’ll also get better and something about skiing moguls.
And that’s where I leave it, stop, end, finish. I know, kind of an abrupt finish to a masterpiece, right? That’s just what I’m used to, your mom likes it when I finish like that all over her face. OH!
Show Re-cap For Tuesday 2/21/2012
According to Ellis and Rawdog, Cumtard is in fact leaving the show – unless maybe if Sirius XM can pay him more money. He said he can’t afford to live on a part-time wage (understandable) so he has to go get a full-time job some place to pay the bills. So look out for Scrotum McBoner Fart at your local sex shop or grocery store. This may be good and/or bad news. Cumtard has taken a his fair share of shit from both fans and the cast during his time producing the show, some with good reason and others with malice. The good part, Tully and Rawdog are going to have to help produce the show in the interim, and both of them are certainly more than competent to do so. The bad part is, believe it or not, Cumtard did bring some things to the show that really helped. I wish him nothing but the best and hopefully he is able to return in some capacity, he deserves his shot. Anyway, fuck that guy. (insert laugh track)
So today is Rude Judesday (@rude_jude), he was partying hard snortin’ lines of katemine last night, so much so that he hurled. Dude parties like a fuckin’ rock star and has the best drug fueled stories. I swear sometimes that dude sounds like a hip hop @oxycottonjohn, it’s fucking hilarious. Jude brought up how he would love to bang Sandra Bullock, Ellis got kind of got oddly silent for a second – that seemed kind of funny, make your own presumptions about that.
Rawdog went out on a date this weekend with some chick he wasn’t attracted to after seeing her in person (i.e. a fat chick) He thought she was cool and wants to hang out with her as friends, but doesn’t want to ever have a sexual relationship with her. So basically Rawdog friendzoned this chick, which is awesome because usually it’s him that’s been friendzoned.
Donald Schultz stopped by the show and there was more talk about making the movie “Big Fucking Mega-Boat”. They were talking about celebrity cameos as well, many names were mentioned as well as many one-liners. The Twitter ledge @mike_in_canada came up with a hashtag (#CelebrityCameo) for possible one-liners that different celebrities making cameos in the film could use. Sounds like they’re getting pretty serious about filming this and hope to have it completed sometime in May I believe.
And that does it. I better stop and try to get this posted. My Internet has been going down more than your mom on freebie blowjob day. That’s still on everyday right?