Show Re-cap For Wednesday 8/8/2012

Holy fuckin hell it’s been a long time since I talked to you beautiful people. Where has the time gone, it’s like the sequel to your favorite movie. I don’t know where I’m going with this and to be honest, I’m a bit buzzed. Ahh, ‘ol times. Does your lady shit? If she does then she might also stand to pee. According to Ellis anyhow. We started off with proper poop etiquette and the survey says, courtesy flush. Basic rules for pooping are act like your not pooping, unless your doing an upper decker, then let the sweet smell of freedom ring. Some dude from TMZ recognized Ellis, check that off the bucket list. Who is a sore loser? Gabe is a sore loser, clap clap clapclapclap. He posted on his blog, http://www.gabegodzilla.com, that the fight was fucked up or something and that he didn’t get a fair chance and that there was sand in his vagina and his panties were in a bunch. I saw the fight just like many of you and this dude got knocked out like a sorority girl at a frat party, and then humped just the same. On the funnier side, Uncle Mayhem is trying his hand at stand up comedy. This shall be fun. Go to something something dot com to find out more info.

In Olympic News, DICK PUNCH!!! That is all. The guys came up with an idea for designer condoms and the ideas were flowing. I think the unanimous winner was the guy who suggested a condom that looked like a knife so you can bang your chick on her rag and it would look way less disgusting. Shout out to you, you Red Wing earning mother fucker! RawDog thinks he can shave his own beard and the only thing that i could think of is that this needs to be recorded to show the world that Josh really knows how to do something.

I am done laughing now so lets continue. In some places you cannot get a DUI while being on horseback, but here in Arizona, you can. Trust me. Super Jews made beer goggles to wear, however I still prefer the old fashioned method of just getting sloppy piss drunk. Rob Coddry was in The Swinghouse and talked about childrens, hospitals, coke, Jason Ellis’s third acting debut, speed dating, and the teradactle (however the fuck you spell it). Ellis will be on Childerens Hospital tomorrow night at midnight. Not tonight, tomorrow, before the day after, but before the other day on Cartoon Network or Adult Swim, or both. Are we clear? Good.

In Wicked Awesome Naked Celebrity News, Randy Travis was kickin ass and raisin hell in Texas. Who says that country music is all sad and shit. That sounds like a great fuckin time! Its just too bad we don’t have a pic of his sweet ride. I bet it’s a T-Top so that mullet can flow in the wind. Some dude made ultimate arm wrestling and it sounds like a pile of ultimate shit. Finals calls were not one to disappoint, and by that I mean  they were window licking, diaper wearing, short bus riding “special” folk. The last thing I recall was a dude wants to jack Jason off for some roids (don’t do drugs kids) and Chris Angel has mind lube. I heard yer mum tried steroids, she got so big that a team of mules had to tie her down, just before she let them have their way with her, OH!

Tranny Olympics Week – Day 8 – The Ultimate Tranny Contest

Tranny-Olympics

To Close out the week, we have one last big event. Morgan, Domino, and Britney compete in the Ultimate Tranny Contest in a studio packed with guests. I apologize that the audio quality isn’t the greatest. Never mind that…

Chest bump!

Trustfall!

Ultimate Tranny Contest – 8/25/11

Download (link to MP3)

Bonus: The story of Lee & Jason in Cabo, Mexico – 8/30/11

Download (link to MP3)

Tranny Olympics Week – Day 4 – Big Cock Karaoke

Tranny-Olympics

Day 4 of the Tranny Olympics takes place on the eve of Ellismania 6: November Pain. The place is The Roxy in Hollywood, CA and our trusty tranny is once again Foxxy. Go!

Big Cock Karaoke – 11/5/10

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 7/18/2012

As many of you are hobbling through this week, some still suffering your post EllisMania depression, we learn that Jason’s love tap he received from Mayhem is a torn MCL. For those not too familiar with human anatomy, the MCL is the doohickey that is connected to the thingamajig and controls the whatsit. Pretty basic stuff. Ellis’s vacation in Cabo is set and he is looking forward to it. He believes that he will return a changed man, and Mexico has a strange way of doing just that. I myself can never look at a donkey and a middle aged Senorita in fishnets the same way again. Matthew McConaughey was mentioned and due to the noise of heavy machinery all i heard was bits and pieces that not only declare but support the reason that he is one of the coolest dudes ever.

Paul Gaylord, from Prineville, Oregon, got the Bubonic Plague when he was wrestalin with some pusssayyyyy! If you live in Oregon and like your fingers don’t pet the stray kitty. This public service announcement has been brought to you by this guy. A pair of girls was attacked by a beaver. I swear I’ve heard this joke in a bar somewhere. And in New Guinea there are Cannibal Cults, not to be confused with Cannibal Corpse, that are eating the dicks of men, not to be confused with Nickelback. Also in New Guinea there is a fish that loves the nuts, but unfortunately we all know fish don’t have lips so this is a rather toothy fellating. Wear a cup. Speaking of sucking nuts, Chick-Fil-A doesn’t back gay marriage. In fact the owner or CEO or Head Fucktard came out in the press saying that they don’t think its right or some shit. This is going to start a massive protest at their chicken sandwich franchises and they should be prepared for absolutely fabulous looking picketers, glitter bombings, and the endless hours of Cher songs.

Today was Worlds Greatest Wednesday and the subject was, The Worlds Greatest Thing To Do In The Last Hour Of Your Life. And your final top 10 are…..

10. Hunting deer with a cruise missle

9.   Have gay sex in a Chick-Fil-A resturant

8.   Make a celebrity sex tape with Oprah on a pile of money

7.   Smoke a joint with Willie Nelson

6.   Viewkkake: Shooting your load on the entire cast of The View

5.   Impregnating maids with Arnold Schwarzenegger

4.   Real life “Fuck, Marry, Kill”

3.   Charity jam a bunch of hot chicks with AIDS and Herpes

2.   Create a rollerblading contest, hosted by Nickelback, and blow up the building

and your winner, thanks to Shantanee and her mega 10 million vote, is…..

1.   Frame Jay Leno for murder!

I’m really going to need some Preparation H

Speaking of murder, I saw yer mum at the Chick-Fil-A, and no, she wasn’t giving blow jobs for sandwiches, that’s uncalled for. She was however, taking bets on how many she could fit up her slam box. Want to know the winning number? So do I, when I last checked she was still cramming them up her greasy snatch hole like it was a garbage disposal, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 7/17/2012

More than meets the brown eye, fear the fabulousness!

Hey, hey, AD from Houston here with another re-cap. Seriously though, who the fuck is AD? Why is he in Houston, what the fuck is there? Does he do anything besides Faction updates? Is AD even a real human or is it a computer? Questions like these are what made Arsenio Hall go “hmmmm”. Jude came on to talk about how pilled out he was during the first part of EllisMania 8 and how he had a great time hanging out with Ellis fans. And there was more talk about Rawdog potentially being known as “Fag-a-tron” since his Shade 45 rap debut, which of course he isn’t, just as long as you don’t ask Jude’s listeners. Ellis’ knee is all filled up with fluid and looking pretty gnarled, that’s gotta feel great, shout out to Mayhem – ya dumb shit. He also took the liberty of steeling the motorcycle helmet that Chad Reed (the guitarist in D!D!D!) wears during shows, and won’t give it back. Props again to that dude for upping his douche level on the market by a solid 3 points.

As we age, we all get to a point where we just don’t care about some things anymore.

Ellis wants to make EllisMania 9 even bigger, but he knows that the bigger it gets, the more stressful things will become and more chances of pissing someone off. But, like a lot of people, he’s always striving for more, so much so in fact that he tends to never be satisfied with what he has recently accomplished. That spawned some interesting conversation from the guys concerning their own work ethics, how they feel about where they’ve come from to where they are now in their lives, etc. Tully talked about how while working for Carson Daly, his highlight was getting Carson to read something he wrote. A very familiar feeling for some of us who tweet the show like we’re mute and suffer from tourettes syndrome, I’m sure most of us enjoy hearing our tweets get read on the show. I don’t know if it’s so much for the recognition as it to just hear something you’ve created be good enough to be repeated to listeners. The whole conversation was actually pretty interesting, maybe more so to the older crowd versus the younger crowd, but it had some pretty good insights and retrospectives for everyone.

AIDs sandwich: Bread, mayonnaise, cheese, and extra AIDs.

Some dude was eating airplane food and got stabbed in the mouth with a needle, and now he’s on AIDs medication. Nope, that’s not a joke, it’s for real. Where’s the fuckin’ TSA on that one? Probably busy putting AIDs infected needles in airplane food. Take that TSA! Internet balls are all swollen! The Boy Scouts are still banning homosexuality, shocking, I know – a religion based group against homosexuality? Some listener called into say he was once a Boy Scout and that they are some hardcore brother fuckers. I can only assume that is very true. Speaking of AIDs sandwich, your mom used to employee of the month at Subway for several years running. Not because she did a great job at making AIDs sandwiches, but because she was the one that came up with the $5 footlong specials, and as you might have guessed, it wasn’t about sandwiches at all. She was the talk of North America and doing great until it was revealed that instead of using mayonnaise, she would regurgitate all the loads she swallowed into the dispenser – essentially baby birding everyone with cum. At that point, Jared broke up with her and began his new diet. OH!