Wassup party people in the place to be? I’m filling in for @AZ_RedDragon today because he’s having a fucking dinner party – I know what you’re thinking, I didn’t know he was such a debutante either. HEYOH! Actually, he’s having dinner with @azkellie and @FaceplantLauren and I assume his wife and kids. If going by the songs Ellis played during the breaks today, this is a love filled show today. Ellis got woken up by Paris Hilton today, sure, it was just in his dream, but still. He’ll be moving out of his apartment soon, he plans on giving all his shit to Goodwill so he doesn’t have to move jack shit, solid idea when you get tons of free shit. The DogFather used to read bedtime stories to Rawdog and would do character voices to match the story – including Elmer Fudd, he’s got a wicked awesome Elmer Fudd. More talk about Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, I’m still not sure what this is, but it sounds like another vampire movie and that means it can fuck itself right off my TV, I don’t care how hot Kate Beckinsale is. Shitting and farting in front of your significant other isn’t really all the cool – you’re just asking for trouble because one or both of you are going to end up calling the other a nasty motherfucker.
Jennifer (Rawdog speak) Jessica Simpson is now sponsored by fat lady snacks Weight Watchers because she’s gained a lot of weight after mowing through Mac-n-Cheese and shit while she was pregnant, and she refuses to run because according to her, her titties are too big. There was quite a bit of time spent on her fatness and diet, which is okay, but I’m done talking about her dumb ass. The real deal Holyfield is that if you get fat and don’t do anything about it, you’ll look for any excuse to justify your fatness. Oh, and don’t scarf down a shitload of “comfort food” (and no, M&M’s do not fall into that category) while you’re pregnant, it’s not doing you or that spawn in your belly, any good. A possible solution is changing your diet to the Ellis Diet, water, dick, and vodka. A listener sent in an email from 2010 that appeared to have Lindsay Lohan as one of the recipients. It outlined who was going to be suing her ass, the skrilla she’ll need to pay for all that shit, and the duckettes she at the time didn’t have to cover anything but a booger. Hilary Duff’s giant head is married to Mike Comrie’s massive dome, and if they boink to make a baby, it will be Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. There was talk about Octomom porn, I Googled and then shut down my computer – that was enough for one day.
Some poor orangutan was kept as a sex slave, with repeat customers – and that’s pretty fucked up, man. Why would you prefer to fuck an animal instead of a human? I don’t have an answer for that one. Shout out to Borneo, you monkey fuckers top the list as the most fucked up shithole on the planet. Speaking of fucked up shitholes, we got to hear some new drops today, straight from The DogFather’s mouth (or shithole if I may), showcasing his speech impediment that Rawdog still doesn’t accept as fact. It’s fucking amazing, there’s no way Rawdog doesn’t hear it, he’s pwaying dumb. And for the record, I don’t mean to be offensive when I call The DogFather’s mouth a shithole, it’s more a term of endearment, witerawwy.
World’s Greatest Wednesday came back today! Except it took forever and a day to get going because Will “Shiny Shins” Pendarvis fucked the button bar up like some kind of orangutan fucker or something. For that, he had to create some new intros for the show, which he completely botched the words on most of them – but whatever, he did his famous “radio thing” that’s he’s been known for since the 80’s. On a quick, but completely unimportant note, we found out Lightening Train (aka El Gato) fucked a half Mexican, half Chinese stripper. Anyway, because Ellis is going to be boning Katie in a hot air balloon, WGWtopic for today was “world’s greatest thing to do in a hot air balloon”. And here’s your top 10 in order from 1st to last:
- Bang Katie with a Bane mask on
- Get a champagne blowjob from Katie
- Pay the pilot to wear a gimp suit
- Howl in Katie’s ass
- Dress up as Batman and Robin and fuck Katie
- Blindfold the pilot and fuck Katie
- Put a cubic zirconia around Katie’s neck while fucking her from behind
- Fire a flare gun as your cumming from fucking Katie
- Get a female pilot and have a threesome
- Play “I believe I can fly” from a loudspeaker
Satan called into the show today, he’s in Kansas, he still sounds scary but he’s really dropped off the map and his music is starting to suck. I think Shoebox must be mixing his shit because you can barely hear Satan over the tracks. So here’s what we’ve learned today: Don’t fuck with Lycans, don’t eat mac-n-cheese and expect to lose weight, don’t fuck orangutans, don’t lend money to Lindsay Lohan, don’t fuck with the button bar, and don’t Will-Will the Will unless you’re ready to Will. And for godsakes, you’re old enough to know better by now, you have to stop licking your mom’s cooter, you don’t know where that thing has been. OH!