Show Re-cap For Monday 5/14/2012

So, sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had bad dreams last night. Ellis dreamed about the shit he did to his ex-wife, but she was doing it to him. And I dreamed about this weird lady that had melted flesh, wore a weird flesh mask, was part alien, peeled off a piece of her flesh mask and it bounced off the wall and floor into my mouth and was choking me to death. Fuckin weird, right? Speaking of fuckin weird, Sam Rubin (@samontv) from KTLA was on the show today. As you may or may not know, Ellis was on the morning KTLA and Reelz Hollywood Uncensored shows several weeks ago, and this time around they talked about Kelly LeBrock – the hot chick from the movie Weird Science. Yes, that one, from the mid 1980’s, and yes, she’s like 52 now. Just sayin’. She actually called into the fucking show while he was on air, so that seems pretty promising, I’d love to hear her interviewed by Ellis. Sam sure had a shitload to say, we’re talking 2 hours worth, he talks quick, had stories about Stern, Mel Gibson, and all kinds of entertainment industry gossip shit that I just couldn’t give two shits about – but if you’re into that stuff, it was probably a really good interview. He seemed like an alright guy and like he really enjoys and knows a lot about what he does.

Dingo was going to be on the show today, but he got some teeth removed at the dentists today so he was sore and didn’t think he’d be any good today – understandable. Some dude almost hit the Church of Haden’s Porsche, and by “hit” it seems it was more like “plow”, which I’m sure freaked Ellis out being that he’s borrowing THC’s ride. Funny enough, THC was listening to the show today and heard all the stories about his car almost getting crushed. He also commented about Sam’s interview and how candid and non-bullshit he is when interviewing actors & actresses for movies that are trash. Rawdog has a learning disability that he’s conveniently forgotten about, a non-verbal learning disorder, like reverse dyslexia. He read off a list of shit that it affects, and pretty much everything he listed applies to him. On a related note, doctors also found a new type of super virus that seems to be quickly spreading and so far there is no cure. It’s known as Y-MIG, or Your Mommy’s Infected Gash, and sure enough – you got it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/23/2012

Hellos to people read these bolg, today I likes you and tell of you fans strong of fight and don’t even take a shit if you don’t have to! I tell everyone do not take shits for anyone, only give shits, and see futures in balls. Talking was done over fans, listeners, New York, Chicago, Steve Astephen, fuckings, and monies. Oh noez, I sucks and are a pieces of shits. Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking fucktarded. It’s only funny for a little bit. For everyone whose read “I’m Awesome” all the way through, soon you won’t have to worry about spoiling anything for people by talking about the book, because bits and pieces from the book keep getting talked about on the show. Knowing that, you should probably hurry up and finish reading the book if you haven’t yet.

Ellis and Tully got a ride home from the po-po from Max’s Bar in Chicago, and they even got to go check on a domestic disturbance call. Ellis made out with some hot chick while his face was painted up with death mask makeup, and then Rawdog tried to get a smooch in on the chick too, but sounds like she snuffed him on the lip kiss and presented him with her cheek instead. Rawdog also tried to get all rock and roll on his keyboard and smash it, but the little fella wasn’t doing a very good job at it so Ellis took over and destroyed it for him. The guys met Danny’s mom at one of the book signings in Chicago, and according to Ellis his mom is hot as shit. HotMommyOD5 apparently told Dan’s daddy that Ellis is pretty good looking too – so yeah – this shit could get really fucking weird like really fucking quick.

Rawdog went to pick up his car this morning, everything was as it he had left it, movie props and weed were still there – so let’s just assume nobody but Rawdog and the tow truck driver had stepped foot in his shitbox on wheels. He still likes to share the blame with the local police department, because you know, it sucks having to own up to having a moment of tardness all by yourself. Along with Dingo, Cumtard and Skin stopped by the show today to bullshit and play a little bit of shock trivia and Skin used an annoying fake British (or Scottish) accent. As usual, Cumtard probably got the worst of the treatment – but he likes taking shots for the team so I don’t think he minds too much. It’s weird, because just as Cumtard takes shots for the team, your mom takes shots of man load from hordes of nasty men on a daily basis – for free. OH!

Your mom won an iron

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 4/10/2012

Has everyone recovered from the bloody madness that occurred last night on Twitter? I hope so, because this train keeps-a-rolling, and we’re gonna chug right along into today’s show. Cricket is lame as all fuck, I think we can all agree on that – see, we already have that in common! Rawdog claimed that Michael Jordan came up with the baggy shorts look in the NBA because he would wear his old college shorts under his NBA shorts. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I suppose that it is plausible – and Tully said Jordan also has a big dick, so that seems to seal the deal.

Cumtard not last?Ellis won, in his group, at that go kart racing thing for the Big Fucking Mega-Boat movie shoot. Rawdog finished second to last place, and the only thing surprising about that is he wasn’t in dead last place, that spot belongs to the illustrious Cumtard. However, Cumtard posted an image that seems to disprove that he was the worst driver, instead it’s speculated that Rawdog was indeed the slowest. A fan stole Ellis’ sunglasses, tried to gank Dingo’s sunglasses, and also was going through peoples’ phones while they were on the track. What a fucking dickhole. Also, bitches be trippin’ on shrooms and shit.

There was talk about how to make golf more interesting, and I’m not sure it can be done. Sure you can just get shit-hammered and cruise around in a golf cart, but even that has its limits. Tomorrow’s WGW might just be “World’s Greatest Man-Boy” with early potential front runners being Rawdog, Thom Yorke, Ellen Degeneres, and your mom. OH!

Go Karts – 6/21/10 (History)

The crew is out filming “Big Fucking Mega Boat” at the K1 Speed Indoor Go Kart facility today thanks to Donald Schultz. However, the original idea for go kart racing actually dates back nearly 2 years ago. J.Ellis was never able to organize it, but the idea has been bounced around ever since.

Rawdog vs. Burt Bacharach and J.Ellis vs. Mayhem? – 6/21/10

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The race over the weekend didn’t happen – 6/23/10

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They still want to do the go kart challenge, Donald Schultz in studio – 6/25/10

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Burt Bacharach still wants to race – 6/29/10

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World’s Greatest Wednesday, “How should Ellis spend his multi-million dollar radio contract”. Ellis wants a go kart track at his house – 8/11/10

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Burt Bacharach and Dingo meet, the go kart challenge gets brought up again – 8/12/10

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Ellis is still fantasizing about a go kart track at his house – 8/26/10

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Burt Bacharach still wants to do the go kart race – 8/27/10

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Andrea vs. Rawdog in a go kart race? – 2/24/11

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Psycho Mike & Dr. Drew (History)

Psycho Mike and Dr. Drew finally made it in studio yesterday. I have that interview, but first let’s listen back to the history of Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, Dr. Drew, and Psycho Mike on The J.Ellis Show.


Slash was on Loveline, J.Ellis learns who Psycho Mike is. – 8/24/10

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Rawdog and Will reveal their dislike for Dr. Drew, Psycho Mike calls the show. – 1/11/11

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Ellis’s first appearance on Loveline – 2/1/11

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Psycho Mike in studio with special guest Dr. Drew Pinsky. – 3/19/12

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