Tag Archives: Dingo

AKA Luke Trembath

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 11/28/2012

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What else do we do on a Wednesday, but pass the doobie to the left, your mom to the right, and listen the The Jason Ellis Show.  And we do this with a passion!  Similar to the passion that Jason reminds us we must have in order to achieve greatness.  If you wanna be the best at something, pound for pound, you have to get so good that it becomes boring, and then get better than that.  Yes that pound for pound line means @TheDingoInSnow joined the show today to riff, starting with last night’s bad ass Machine Head and Deathclock show.  Were you there?  Ellis almost wasn’t, but you know he knows a guy who knows a guy, and in the backdoor Ellismate went, laminated pass and all.  He made it backstage and chilled out on some couch, only to see Robb Flynn near by.  Ellis got to hang with the band, and Rob was a good host, hooking Ellismate up with something that remains unkown.  Apparently the bassist Adam is a big fan of Ellismania, as he gave a ‘Fuck Yeah’ after confirming Ellis did in fact set up a fight with Dave Mirra, and Adam also offered to be in an upcoming event!  Of course it can’t all go perfectly, as the drummer is apparently sponsored by Yamaha, and he will have to live with that every day of his life.  While the band was performing, Ellis made his way into the Mosh Pit for the last song in the set, Halo (Which Ellismate got a shoutout from the band, and totally missed it – Rawdog caught it though).  All in all a bad ass night, and shoutout to EllisFam Butterballs and FonzoBlunt who were mentioned at the show as well.  Oh and as for the bitches, Rawdog reports there are quite a few but mostly there with dudes.  Ellis said he saw more than enough hotties that were single, and Tully reminds us that all women are single, some just more than others!  Ellismate has also been finding it hard to rap, for his upcoming rap debut for Death! Death! Die!  He also finds it hard to believe that Phil Anselmo is racist as some have alleged.  It sounds like he isn’t racist, just Pro White.  Did you know that only 45 murders occurred in Canada in 2011, per Rawdog per Twitter, so you know its true.  We then listened to some bullshit lists on which country has the most murder.  On all these lists, the US was way down, which could be true but seemed hard to believe.  Of course none of that was as hard to believe as when Dingo found out that a turtle shits its dick out, a snake has two dicks, and a chameleon has two dicks that change color, but you already knew that didn’t ya smart guy!

 

White Power……is for pussies.

 

Is Yoko Ono trying to fuck over the world, or just the gay scene on West Hollywood?  Whatever she’s doing, she sparked a heated debate between Dingo/Rawdog and Ellis/Tully about who would wear her crazy shit.  Dingo tried to imply the gay scene would, which offended Tully to no end, almost to the brink of leaving the show, until he saw this video from Yoko Ono back in 1967 that just made it all better.  So what does it mean when you have a dream about your teeth falling out or crumbling? How the fuck should I know……..that Harry Connick Jr. isn’t a racist, but Australia is and is not afraid to show it!  Just like the ol’ nursery rhyme goes “Catch a nigga/tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go”, and you can see the difference between the Australian/American versions, hmmm.  Onto where its not racist, Hollywood and our favorite segment, Hollywood News.  Steven Tyler and Nicki Minaj are having a twitter battle over Bob Dylan and racism.  Red Dragons to all of the Ellis Show and Dingo too for not having a clue as to who was on the panel of American Idol, even Rawdog didn’t know!

Nah Mate, You Are!

Moving right along, Adam Levine says The Roxy can just fuck off as far as he’s concerned. In other Hollywood News, comedian Katt Williams led police on a chase while getting 3 wheel motion the whole time.  The fat chic from Precious (Mo’Nique) lost almost 200 pounds, and looks more and more like 50 Cent each day.  And last but certainly not least, if you have an extra $600K laying around, and your in the Hollywood Hills area, check this plot of land out being sold by Jack Nicholson, get it up ya!

 

Joanna Angel stopped by the show, and I think we all know why.  Before we get to that, and some other fun shit, Ellis had to call her out for being on some other douches podcast.  Some Neil Strauss homo who has a maid and whore d’oeuvres, what a poser.  In fairness to Joanna, her and Ellismate weren’t clear on their radio monogamy.  That also reminded Joanna of her advice to Rawdog the last time she was in the studio, you know the “Don’t you cum yet” advice, only to find out if either ruined Josh’s relationship (since it ended), or she just wasted her wisdom.  Turns out it wasn’t either, Josh did his own doing with regards to it ending and Ellismate took the advice home with him, and it worked like a champ!  Now onto the real business at hand, The Reckoning.  Joanna will be dancing that night prior to the big event.  She’s planning to wear a sexy devilish outfit, to go with Rawdog’s brides maid attire.  Oh and Dingo volunteered to cup Rawdog’s balls, what a guy.  Joanna also took the time to offer advice to Rawdog, since she too has a small throat and Blaht a gag reflex.  She told him to drink some tea the night before, and that he could get some numbing spray (though unessecary), and most important he needs to enjoy it.  Josh was also reminded that vomit is just nature’s lube.  If you can make it on December 15th to Cheetah’s for ‘The Reckoning’, what the fuck are you still doing here reading this shit?  So naturally with Joanna in the studio, and this event taking place at a strip club, it only could lead to one idea…..Lap Dance Off.  After about 15 minutes of on air setup, and stories of Tully stiffing strippers on lap dances, we got to business.  5 contestants for this consisting of Ellis, Rawdog, Tully, Dingo and Cumtard (Jizz Cult was to be included, but we just fucking forgot ok).  Each took one turn giving a blindfolded Joanna the lap dance of her nightmares.  Dingo went first, and followed the ‘No Touch’ club rules for his dance, which just didn’t score well for him or her.  Second was Rawdog, and from the sounds of it he did a damn good job, simulating a BJ and all that shit.  Tully was up third, and just went bonkers with some crazy high energy raviging of Joanna.  The Wing took the 4th try, and basically just choked her out n shit.  Cumtard was 5th and final, and went bare ass for his dance, rubbing said ass all over poor Joanna.  All in all it was a good effort, but Joanna wouldn’t be frequenting this club much after today.  She did omit that Ellismate and his barbarian tactics were the best of the group!

 

Thats two songs, 25 each, so 50 bucks fuck wad!

 

Having trouble selling your car on ebay?  How about whoring your daughter for a few pictures to help seal the deal like this dude did.  Do you know how much it costs to book Creed for an appearence?  $150K damn it.  Despite Dingo calling extreme bullshit on this, it may be true says Cumtard and this article from yourmom.com.  Then we were told Kevin Federline gets $300K for an appearence, and this just pissed DIngo off to no end, throwing Monster Energy cans across the room and shit.  Ellis said there have been talks he may have some appearences coming up soon.  Of course he’ll be looking at more like Tony Yayo money, $7k per appearence.  They then talked about celebrity rider’s too, mentioning Mariah Carey requiring a person on hand to take her chewed gum, and that DMX must have 3 boxes of rubbers and a bottle of Hennessy, Red Dragons!  Speaking of Red Dragons, Joanna was informed the video of her screaming that phrase is the #1 video on Ellismania.com, prompting Tully to offer a suggestion for the sequel = Rawdog.  Serisouly, Josh to be in the movie, but with a body double for the sex scenes.  He can make his Bruce Willis face n dirty robot talk, and then splice in some other dude banging Joanna, and Bob’s your uncle.  The body double of course would be hung like a Clydesdale, but thats a different story.  Then we were witness to a contest between Dingo and Ellis, to see who knows anyhting about Arkansas.  We got nothing, I mean its in Atlanta, and in the top right of America, near Masachusettes or maybe Wisconsin.  Look, Ellis n Dingo got street smarts.  “We draw pictures” and “Spell with our fists” so fuck off!  On a serious note, if you got a few extra bucks to help, you can bid on a day with The Jason Ellis Show and help SiriusXM fight hunger.  Unfortuantely you can’t bid on a day with your mom, cause she is currently obsessed with trying to #fucktully, maybe next year!

Show Re-cap For Monday 11/19/2012

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What’s it look like tweeting and typing notes for a re-cap while listening to The Jason Ellis Show?

It’s Monday again, but this time it’s a short 3 day work week for most us, sorry Canadians – you already had yours. Oi, mate, no way – Dingo’s in the house today, so one can only assume loud, cackling laughter and people yelling over each other will be a portion of the show today. Before the show could even really start, Rawdog came out with another gem, instead of saying he was going to “dip” into a Monster or Red Bull, he said “depp” – as in Johnny Depp. Tully’s hair still needs time to marinate, he’s been growing it out and his mail-order bride helped him Depp that shit up. Ellis got himself another vehicle (as well as a vest), it’s a Dodge, and he’s cool with it even if millions of fans aren’t. Rawdog asked a chick out over the weekend, and she said yes – so shout out to that sly motherfucker for Depping up to the plate. Georges St. Pierre may have won his fight over the weekend, but according to many, he’s a boring fighter – his tactics and game plan works and wins him fights, but it’s boring as hell to watch. Anderson Silva also won his fight, but now is going on hiatus so you can star in movies. Really solid C, approaching B, movies. Dingo got his Wolfknives package today, so it’s official, he’s still known as Dingo.

Plan A contraception didn’t work? Try Plan B. That didn’t work either? There’s always Plan C!

You know what’s kinda fun for Ellis? Going to his kid’s soccer game with Katie and seeing his ex-wife there. Katie and Andrea say their pleasantries and Ellis is only thinking, “I banged both of you. I had kids with that one, but I’m going out with this one. Weird.” That does have to be a sort of odd situation. Tully and his family went to a museum the other day and were passing a family with a massively fat 9 year-old kid that everyone had to squeeze around because the kid’s walrus blubber was taking up the entire sidewalk. That’s gotta suck for that kid, but it also sucks for people who have to walk into traffic to avoid rubbing their genitals against the kid’s bulbous ass. Hence junk food diets. Apparently some dude ran a marathon fueled only by McDonald’s for the last month before the marathon – and dude finished in his own personal record best time. Enter Rawdog claiming that McDonald’s is actually healthy for you. Congratulations, the human race just took three giant, waddling steps backwards. Not even speaking about weight, but how do you manage to eat the same thing for a month straight without going bat shit crazy?

Game time, “You Don’t Know Shit About Jason Ellis”, which is like The Newlywed Game, but with Rawdog, Tully, and Dingo being the acting spouses of Jason Ellis. And now, on with the questions and Ellis’ answers.

When playing a game with Australians, this is a legitimate answer to just about every question.

  1. Q: If Ellis could have the head of any animal, what would it be?
    A: Wolf
  2. Q: If they made a movie about the story of my life, who would play the role of Jason Ellis?
    A: Russell Crowe
  3. Q: A _____ (blank) is not a musical instrument.
    A: Tambourine
  4. Q: With the money I spent on that Porsche, I could have bought Josh a new ______ (blank).
    A: Girlfriend
  5. Q: Will Pendarvis’ sexiest feature is his definitely his ______ (blank)
    A: Shins
  6. Q: If I could only perform 1 sex position for the rest of my life, it would be _______ (blank)
    A: Missionary
  7. Q: I’m willing to do pretty much anything in the bedroom, but when it comes to ______ (blank), I have to draw the line
    A: Shit & murder
  8. Q: Other than rollerblading, the lamest hobby anyone could have would be ______ (blank)
    A: Parkour
  9. Q: If I had to do Kevin, i would probably have sex with his _______ (blank)
    A: Mother
  10. Q: If I had to be reborn as any other race, other than white, I would choose to be ______ (blank)
    A: Hawaiian
  11. Q: The strangest place any of your loads has ever landed, has been on a ______ (blank)
    A: Porsche
  12. Q: If you could change one thing about how Josh looks, it would be his ______ (blank)
    A: Torso (muscles)
  13. Q: Aside from Jesus or God, the coolest dude in the bible is _____ (blank)
    A: Satan
  14. Q: If you had to make out with one guy associated with the show, staff or reoccurring guest, who would it be?
    A: Benji Madden
  15. Q: What is the most awesome snack to enjoy while you’re stoned?
    A: Chocolate
  16. Q: If I could live in any European country, I would live in ______ (blank)
    A: France
  17. Q: What body part would you be most willing to give up?
    A: Balls
  18. Q: If you were a bird, what type of bird would you be?
    A: Eagle
  19. Q: My biggest muscle is my ______ (blank)
    A: Dick
  20. Q: My biggest fear is being attacked by a rabid ______ (blank)
    A: Shark
  21. Q: Ellis fans are aggressive, I was once approached by a fan with I was _____ing (blank)
    A: Shitting
  22. Q: If I could pick the way that I die, it would be ______ (blank)
    A:

And the winner was, Dingo – beating out Tully in a tie-breaker. Next up was Hollywood News, and I was driving home from work while that was going on so I’ve pretty much forgotten about all of it. However, the real story here is the Cumtard’s butt chugging video is up on EllisMania.com with another video on it’s way – probably during the Thanksgiving Holiday break. In the meantime, you can read his Q & A with the fans while you wait. Then it was time for final calls and a quick Rawdog raping where a testicle may or may not have popped out. It’s okay though, that ball is going to be just fine as soon as he cuts your mother’s nipples off with a straight razor, the erection he’ll get from that will pull his ball right back into place, and then he gets to use the puss and ooze as lube to fist her and finish by jerking himself off inside her asshole. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 11/9/2012

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Shut it, yappy!

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I don’t give a fuck, because it’s Friday. Let’s see, where should I start? How about with a good old fashioned falcon punch to the vagoo? Yes, yes, that feels right. Now we can begin our journey together, focused, void of any fucks in our way, and with a clean pair of underoos. Ellis feels like buying silver pants and wearing a furry vest. Tully had and wore silver pants, but Rawdog didn’t – it’s not silver pants time for Rawdog and I think he knows it. However, Rawdog is slamming a Go Girl energy drink. You know, man shit. Machine Head is supposedly not allowed to play in any Disney owned venues or on Disney owned property, which includes some House of Blues locations. But more importantly, how’s Cumtard’s butt doing today? Better than it was last night after trying to wedge a tube in his ass. He said the tube was cutting his asshole, so he tried just the funnel and it too was cutting his asshole, but eventually got the enema kit to work and squirted beer up his ass and all over his socks. You’ll be able to see Cumtard’s buttchugging and be able to access EllisMania.com on your smartphones in 5 days!

That sick track you’re making is only missing some sweet licks!

Moon news came back today, people are seeing UFOs eggs in the skies above the borders of India and China. Some poor kid that was forced to go into some gay conversion therapy basically got tortured by his family, wants to see his whack-ass family, but they don’t want to see him. Or something like that. It was a pretty long clip and started to space out. Gay conversion therapy. Seriously, people believe in this shit. Come to find out, this is more prevalent than I certainly thought, as several callers chimed in about their varying and unfortunate experiences with it. Rob Flynn from Machine Head ended up calling into the show, not about gay conversion therapy, but about the whole Disney vs Machine Head topic spoken about earlier. He cleared the air a bit about what went on, but the real news here is that he said he was open to helping Ellis with his personal track that he’s been recording. There was a quick semi-listing of all the things Rawdog has done over the year, such as losing his car, swallowing his own load, banging Sparky two times with one rubber, etc. Maybe we’ll get a full compilation of all his accomplishments before the end of the year.

He’s seen you driving ’round town with the girl he loves, and he was like haiku.

Hollywood news time, Jonah Hill and some Don Lemon who is a CNN news anchor are in a Twitter fight, apparently Mr. Lemon said hi to Jonah and he didn’t say hi back or something so now Mr. Lemon has a fruit cup up his ass. Mark Wahlberg will allegedly be replacing Shia LaBeouf in the forthcoming Transformers movie, which doesn’t have a name yet or I’m guessing even a fucking script. Robert Pattinson is crying about something or another, doesn’t matter – he looks like a foot. Cee-Lo was in the fucking news again, something about being in a brawl with some chicks, one of whom called him a fat motherfucker, or some shit like that. Again, who gives a shit. Somebody mentioned Lindsay Lohan and Storage Wars again too, but I was completely gone at this point and giving zero fucks. Rihanna said something about something else or someone else and then thankfully it was all over. I swear to shit, I hate writing about Hollywood gossip, it seriously has to be the worst fucking torture there is. I think from now on, anytime there’s Hollywood news, I’m just going to make up my own shit, at least then it might be a little entertaining. How much better would it be to read too? Like if I told you that Cee-Lo was caught buttchugging 2 cases of Schlitz and then went & bashed a store clerk over the head with a bat and pissed on their corpse, you’d be like “RED FUCKING DRAGONS!”

Noted racist and extreme falling enthusiast Black Africanakis (aka Donald Schultz) stopped by the show to talk about his show, saving animals, and of course extreme falling. Wanna see “The Ding” wasted, in a blue dress, and fighting other cunts? Of course you do, even though it’s not really Dingo, it’s just some drunken Aussie bitch being a sick cunt. Shoebox was in the studio as well, but he’s pretty much worthless, so fuck him. HAHHAAA Just kidding. He’s worth at least minimum wage. HEYOH! I guess congratulations are in order! I wanted to congratulate you, I heard your mom finally came out of her coma today! Just kidding. She died. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 11/5/2012

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Don’t mind me, just wheeling my manly dick around.

Happy Mother Fucking Monday sisters! It’s colder than a well digger’s ass, so we gonna heat this bitch up like some Ramen noodles, yo! Actually, I guess we’ll see about that – I mean how hot the re-cap is. Don’t hold me to it. Did you know that manly men have daughters? Well now you do. And guess what else? I have a daughter, so that means I’m full on manly, but you for sure already knew that, right? Dingo was on the show today and you know what that means – that’s right, a lot of loud, cackling laughter over anyone whose talking! Political talk took up most of the first hour, and I’m uninterested in what anyone else’s political alignment may be, I only care about my own and you should only care about your own as well – so there ya go. Neat, right? Next up was Hollywood gossip news. Something about Joe Simpson, & Sharon Osbourne, and guess what else? That’s right, I don’t give a shit about Hollywood gossip news, so there ya go.

Rawdog not only got a high five, but also the prestigious “I participated” ribbon.

A very young Rawdog played some tee-ball and pee wee league soccer in his illustrious youth sporting career, he got a high five once too! Have you and your brother ever tag teamed a chick? Did your brother help guide your dick into this mega-whore? Who the fuck am I kidding, of course some of you sick bastards have nailed some slut together with your brother. But you know what, porn is not real life, so it was probably an even more disgusting experience than what most of us are imagining. Did you know Alec Baldwin dropped down and did 20 halftime push-ups to show how in shape he is? Me neither. Dude Am I A Slut segment today. Some gross chick did something gross, but was not a slut. Another chick called in to say she used to masturbate to Rawdog’s voice on the radio while she was driving her car. She’s also sleeping with two different dudes she works with, neither of them know about the other, they have great sex, and she doesn’t want a relationship. Rawdog was trying to have some phone sexy times with her but Dingo couldn’t shut his fucking yapper long enough for anyone to hear. Doesn’t matter anyway because, DING, she was a slut. Another chick wanted to get laid on the morning of her divorce, went and got drunk and rode a mechanical bull at a bar, and banged 3 different people over the course of a weekend. Survey says, not a slut.

My reaction every time I make an awesome joke on the Internet at someone’s expense.

Cumtard has joined another dating website, trying to get some stank on his hang down. He won’t say which website so people don’t fuck with him. Tully posted his usual 2:30 Instagram gold, this time of a poster of a Japanese boy band called “Glay” that was formed in 1988 or some glay-ass shit like that. You like your porn made in the USA? Like money shots and unprotected sex? Well if you’re in LA County and voting tomorrow, vote no on Measure B. I think that’s what it’s called, actually, you should probably check for yourself. Some chick that has the mental capacity of a 6 year-old, got knocked up. I’m not sure how this is news, aren’t most chicks walking around thinking like a 6 year-old? HEYOH! Just kidding, there’s too much domestic violence going on out there, something like every 9 seconds a woman gets beat on. You’d think they’d learn to pipe down if every 9 seconds they’re getting the business. Sheesh. Need a good place to get your hair cut, ask fucking Dingo because he’s going to tell you no matter what – even though he doesn’t cut his fucking hair. Some dude called in, he pissed on his own balls for 4 years because his pecker was attached to his nuts until his parents got him circumcised. Fucking hell. Another dude can stick his own balls in his ass, he sat on them and then wondered if he could shove them in – low and behold, he could. This dude says his hanging balls are about 8.5 inches! His balls are longer than his erect dick! That’s crazy, but not as crazy as the 11 inches of balls hanging between your mom’s legs. OH!