Don’t mind me, just wheeling my manly dick around.
Happy Mother Fucking Monday sisters! It’s colder than a well digger’s ass, so we gonna heat this bitch up like some Ramen noodles, yo! Actually, I guess we’ll see about that – I mean how hot the re-cap is. Don’t hold me to it. Did you know that manly men have daughters? Well now you do. And guess what else? I have a daughter, so that means I’m full on manly, but you for sure already knew that, right? Dingo was on the show today and you know what that means – that’s right, a lot of loud, cackling laughter over anyone whose talking! Political talk took up most of the first hour, and I’m uninterested in what anyone else’s political alignment may be, I only care about my own and you should only care about your own as well – so there ya go. Neat, right? Next up was Hollywood gossip news. Something about Joe Simpson, & Sharon Osbourne, and guess what else? That’s right, I don’t give a shit about Hollywood gossip news, so there ya go.
Rawdog not only got a high five, but also the prestigious “I participated” ribbon.
A very young Rawdog played some tee-ball and pee wee league soccer in his illustrious youth sporting career, he got a high five once too! Have you and your brother ever tag teamed a chick? Did your brother help guide your dick into this mega-whore? Who the fuck am I kidding, of course some of you sick bastards have nailed some slut together with your brother. But you know what, porn is not real life, so it was probably an even more disgusting experience than what most of us are imagining. Did you know Alec Baldwin dropped down and did 20 halftime push-ups to show how in shape he is? Me neither. Dude Am I A Slut segment today. Some gross chick did something gross, but was not a slut. Another chick called in to say she used to masturbate to Rawdog’s voice on the radio while she was driving her car. She’s also sleeping with two different dudes she works with, neither of them know about the other, they have great sex, and she doesn’t want a relationship. Rawdog was trying to have some phone sexy times with her but Dingo couldn’t shut his fucking yapper long enough for anyone to hear. Doesn’t matter anyway because, DING, she was a slut. Another chick wanted to get laid on the morning of her divorce, went and got drunk and rode a mechanical bull at a bar, and banged 3 different people over the course of a weekend. Survey says, not a slut.
My reaction every time I make an awesome joke on the Internet at someone’s expense.
Cumtard has joined another dating website, trying to get some stank on his hang down. He won’t say which website so people don’t fuck with him. Tully posted his usual 2:30 Instagram gold, this time of a poster of a Japanese boy band called “Glay” that was formed in 1988 or some glay-ass shit like that. You like your porn made in the USA? Like money shots and unprotected sex? Well if you’re in LA County and voting tomorrow, vote no on Measure B. I think that’s what it’s called, actually, you should probably check for yourself. Some chick that has the mental capacity of a 6 year-old, got knocked up. I’m not sure how this is news, aren’t most chicks walking around thinking like a 6 year-old? HEYOH! Just kidding, there’s too much domestic violence going on out there, something like every 9 seconds a woman gets beat on. You’d think they’d learn to pipe down if every 9 seconds they’re getting the business. Sheesh. Need a good place to get your hair cut, ask fucking Dingo because he’s going to tell you no matter what – even though he doesn’t cut his fucking hair. Some dude called in, he pissed on his own balls for 4 years because his pecker was attached to his nuts until his parents got him circumcised. Fucking hell. Another dude can stick his own balls in his ass, he sat on them and then wondered if he could shove them in – low and behold, he could. This dude says his hanging balls are about 8.5 inches! His balls are longer than his erect dick! That’s crazy, but not as crazy as the 11 inches of balls hanging between your mom’s legs. OH!