Show Re-cap For Monday 2/4/2013

larry_king

Larry King never interviewed people while wearing a speedo.

Here we are again, another Monday, and if you’d think talking to humans would be easy, but it’s not. Also, if you could shit one of your dicks out and have two eyes and two brains, it’d be easier. I don’t know what any of that means, don’t ask me. Dingo’s in the house, and he doesn’t have a freebie to bone Katie, but Millsaps does. Talking about motocross, Chad’a Reed did something or another, but didn’t do another thing. A pantsless Ellis interviewed and shook hands with Total Moto Poto, and he doesn’t have a freebie to bone Katie either. Katie hates football, but Ellis had to watch it at least a little bit so he was busy switching between porn and football. Rawdog didn’t watch football at all, so I assume he may have been flipping back and forth between porn and the puppy bowl. Tully and Dingo did watch the game, but not together so it’s not gay. Thunder Thighs TLC Destiny’s Child performed some annoying, yet manly, shit during the halftime break at the Super Bowl. Beyoncé’s wide box and devil face pretty much were the talk of the world though, not because it was stellar, but because her wide box was, well, wide. I still say Kenda Perez has the widest box on the planet, see a box comparison. Hey, good news, Rashad Evans lost his fight and Dana White says Rashad lost the desire and drive to compete. Dingo didn’t realize that his home country of Australia has proposed a new flag.

Can Rawdog make it to fullfill his bet, or will he not quite make it like a chick in the tampon isle?

Can Rawdog fulfill his bet, or will he not quite make it like a chick in the tampon isle?

We got to hear some of JägerBeard’s new buttons from Friday’s show, where he was slurring words and belligerently telling Tully and Ellis not to fuck his sister. After the show Friday, he went home and took a 4 hour nap, hungover and with a headache. He was hungry and was driving to Ralph’s when he felt like he had to throw-up, pulled over and puked. He couldn’t stop puking and decided to say fuck food and just go back home. Good stuff, if you missed Friday’s show, you missed out on a fun-ass show. The salad diet may be taking a toll on Rawdog, today he complained of feeling lightheaded, so Ellis had the intern run out to get him a salad. Sounds like he’s not eating much of anything, one is only left to assume he’s not eating much because he hates salads and would rather go hungry than eat something healthy. He also doesn’t like people to watch him eat salad, he didn’t want anyone to watch or film him, which made everyone think that Rawdog may be cheating – which Rawdog vehemently denies. Ellis ended up kicking him off the air and sent him out of the studio to eat his salad. It sounds like Rawdog might actually be doing himself some harm trying to fulfill this bet, he definitely shouldn’t be feeling faint and clearly needs more food in his body. After 16 minutes, Rawdog ended up coming in to show how much he’s eaten in that time – which didn’t sound like much. He got sent back out to the parking lot to keep eating his salad.

Jay-Z might be cool, but is he this cool?

Jay-Z might be cool, but is he this cool?

Speaking of eating healthy, do you think Jay-Z juices? Or do you think he just eats healthier because he’s rich and famous and it’s easier to eat healthier when you have a personal chef and dietician watching and preparing your food for you. One thing’s for sure, he’s not eating no horse meat hamburgers. That Jared guy from Subway? Yea, there’s no way Jared is eating only Subway sandwiches, maintaining his weight loss, and health. What? Corporations lie to consumers? I have never, ever, never-ever, in all my years… I’m speechless. Cumtard had some friends come in from out of town so they could be on his podcast, which isn’t live, and you can only listen to – not watch. After the show on Friday, he and his friends headed to Vegas – his car makes a noise, blows up, and they have to pull over on the side of the road – still 40 miles away from Vegas. They call AAA and waited in the middle of the desert for 2 hours, finally get to Vegas and raise a little hell by winning and losing some money. Josh came back in, ate all his salad, busted out his get out of jail free card when called Ellis out for not fulfilling his end of a bet where he was supposed to eat fast food and didn’t. Rawdog was clearly pissed and let them know he was pissed and then the show tried to soldier on without this massive weirdness in the air.

Jesus don't care if you hate the Jews, he's got bigger problems.

Jesus don’t care if you hate the Jews, he’s got bigger problems.

JizzCult came in with a game to play, which helped lighten the mood and kept the show rolling on. The game went well and Tully won like $15 bucks or something. JizzCult might be getting a new name due to a boxing poster Tully saw and took a picture of, Mookie The Sponge Back, or something like that. Some chick called in to tell Ellis she had a dream about him where they made out and went hard in the paint with some foreplay and she woke up before insertion, but she sounded satisfied anyway. Bri-Bri from Idaho called in to tell the gang that he and the other one dude that lives in Idaho are starting a “Future 41” sled team. Ladies, you can send your unsigned burps into the show if you like, do not however, I repeat, do not send in your unsigned farts. Another Jew hater that called in last week to say a happy Jew birthday to Rawdog, called in today to say he’s not antisemitic, but we all know better – you can just hear it over the phone. I was almost expecting that guy to say something like, “now that Obama is in office, they’re tearing out the rose garden and putting in a watermelon patch.” like the racist that he his. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 1/10/2013

Shout out to @JP_BOYLES315

                             No Shit!

Ghosts aren’t real, wind is real, your mom loves anal, and people are dumb.  Now that’s outta the way, let’s welcome and old and new friend to the show, Rude Jude and Brockalina.  More to come on our new friend, but first lets get to the Pill Mix master and how he still ain’t got his $100 painting from back in like ’98.  He also used to know a dude that went to Old Country Buffet, ate a whole bunch of food n threw it up so he could eat more….which means nothing, but it did bring out Tully’s admission to being bulimic in 7th grade, and that he can fit a microphone knob in his mouth.  Anyways, let me introduce you to our newest friend Brockalina and how he she it can help you.  Next time you in the Hollywood area, you can feel free to blow Brockalina for cash prizes or maybe rent or money for meth, whatever ya need.  Of course no puking or no deal.  And what about the radio gold it may bring us?  But what if the radio was just mysteriously gone one day, well what would they do then?  Rawdog would just fall back on his trust fund, probably bang out a few podcasts to keep himself busy.  Tully is back to waiting tables and would try to co-write some more shit.  Jude’s just bummed about washing windows n selling shit.  And for Ellismate, well besides an announcing gig or some shit, its porn….with Dingo!

 

 

 

I don't even know what to say

Brockalina bitches!

Such a sexy bitch that Brockalina – It was almost known as “Oh-Gay Simpson” but the condom didn’t fit, zing!  Yeah that’s about as funny as the shock collar pictionary the fellas played.  Cumtard and Tully, who wrote the game and studied the cards beforehand, took on Ellis and Rawdog in a battle to the death…..just about, loser has to blow Brockalina, and were all ready benefiting from this fine specimen.  Can’t really recap the game in words, but I can tell you it was pretty fucking hilarious, and Tully shocked the shit out of Rawdog, to the point of near tears.  Rawdog was pissed, and obviously flustered and he and Ellis got their asses handed to them.  It was all suspect since Cumtard wrote the game, which involved pictures such as Jesus, shit, a guitar which wasn’t a fucking guitar, a Red Dragon and more.  But a loss is a loss and time to pay the piper, except that Rawdog weaseled his way into making Ellis face the same task, which kinda sounds fair when you think about it.  Ellis, being the fucking warlord he is, popped a cherry-mint rubber on ol’ Brockalina and took the whole fucking thing, lips to balls ya’ll, Red Pandas to you my friend!

 

 

 

While visiting dirtshark.com

While visiting dirtshark.com

Hometown News time fuckers, and whats Hollywood without Justin Timberlake droppin some fresh new shit?  Destiny’s Child is dropping some stale old shit.  Elton John‘s having another kid as is Rosie O’Donnell, too bad not with each other.  The Oscar Nominees are out and Big Fucking Mega Boat didn’t make anything this year, so I’m boycotting personally – you do what you want.  Check this shit out, Piers Morgan and Alex Jones having a good ol’ tea party type altercation.  Finally in Hollywood News, it’s time for Rawdog to take his turn pleasuring the beast.  Remember that time in band camp, when Rawdog fucked Sparky (Red Dragons) and used the same rubber twice?  Yeah well damn if he didn’t try to do it again and jump on the rubber Ellis was slobbing on.  Damn Rawdog, just damn.  He got a freshie on, and away young Josh went.  Not too bad this go around, better than the Reckoning thats for sure, but certainly a far cry from Young Wing’s earlier effort.  Then Josh Hill and Dirt Shark stopped by the studio….check out dirtshark.com I guess, and shout out to Ricky Carmichael the GOAT.

 

 

Pest control down south

     Pest control down south

Austin Lee Westfall, a.k.a Chester Cheetah, is the fucktard of the week!  A close second was Byron, a fan of the show who stopped in to meet the crew.  Hi Rawdog, n Tully, and Mr. Ellis and holy shit who’s that?  Ah yes, Brockalina how could I forget.  Bryon will probably never forget today, but gotta give him credit as he took it like a fucking champ…and even made eye contact you creepy bastard.  So he got his little trip through the prize chamber to grab what he could and we all got to hear the wonderful stylings on Jizz Cult and his quiz on The South.  You just gotta go back and listen if you missed it, skip the moto dudes and jump straight to this.  From head cheese to carpet baggers, and lazy man loads to lube sandwiches, Tully just thought they all meant in the butt.  I mean really, doesn’t courting a coon’s ass sound like in the butt.  Or what does it mean to put goobers in your mouth, in the butt.  Pee-Wee Herman is the only person not born in the south apparently, which again in the butt just seems to be the right answer.  Did you know that Jizz Cult used to hunt gators n snapping turtles?  Anyways the winner was of course, Tully and his ‘in the butt’ strategy, go ahead champ!  I personally am going to adopt Tully’s strategy tonight and use the ‘in the butt’ strategy with your mom….and her mom, OH!