Show Re-Cap for Monday 5/6/2013


Best homeless titties in hobo land?

It’s Dingo Monday, but first, whose still shitting their pants after yesterday being Stinko de Mayo? And no, that pun has nothing to do with Hellmann’s mayonnaise, George Lopez, or the Titanic. Anyway, the most valuable thing that Ellis came away with this weekend is you’re only as good as the company you keep. The Ellis children reminded him to call his brother, Lethal Lee, who he hasn’t talked to in awhile. Apparently, the only thing Lee regrets is giving up his moto career after he had gotten hurt, he feels like he’s already peeked in his life and his brother hasn’t. But he goes to work and comes home to hang out with his children, making him a super dad. Ellis went to go riding moto on Sunday with Katie and the kids, found out that Katie’s bike had been left on, leaving the battery completely dead. Then he and Katie had a lover’s quarrel, got to the track and there’s an event going on, it’s packed as shit, and it costs $100 per person to get on the track. Tiger’s bike wouldn’t start, took it to the store and they couldn’t get it started either, and there’s how you kill about 4 hours of your day without even riding moto at all. Dingo’s Sunday was much better, drinking lots of beer and tequila and spraying champagne all over the place. i_like_what_i_seeRawdog had a date on Friday, they went to see 2001: A Space Odyssey, which got his panties dripping wet. No blow jobs, no fingering, no nothing. He thought the date went well, called her the next day to ask her out again, got her machine and never heard back. So he called that chick from Friday’s show to go out, she took him to a gay bar with dude’s in their underwear dancing in a conga line. And then he got a blowjob, came, titty fucked her and blew another load! Later in the show, during “DP talk”, she said she’d show Rawdog what DP was! Then today, bitch that never called him back, called to apologize for not calling back and to say that she had a great time & wants to go out again. Are we seeing a new Rawdog? Will it last? Time will tell. While on the topic on blowing loads and titty fucking, Rawdog’s Nana and Papa just recently celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary, so that’s pretty legit!


Mr. Balls loves the children!

Hey kids, an antibiotic resistant strain of gonorrhea may be the new AIDs! Basically, you could go into septic shock and could kill you within days. It started in Japan (surprise) and has now spread to Hawaii, California, and Sweden, so be on the lookout for that coming to a whore near you soon! Brazil is fighting testicular cancer with a new mascot, his name is Mr. Balls! Speaking of balls, Dingo was trimming over the weekend and clipped his balls right on the zipper and it was dangling a little bit and he cut it off with a pair of scissors! This spawned a conversation about trimming versus going completely bald in the ball area, sounds like Dingo is still going bald while the majority of the world is trimming. This conversation then morphed into how gay-friendly and/or how gay each person on the show is, Dingo’s about 10%, Ellis is about 30%, and Tully might be reaching for the stars as he’s cried while talking about Morrissey to his wife. PETA is mad (what else is new?) that Governor Chris Christie squashed a spider in front of school kids. Which begs the question, how do you feel about zoos? Which begs another question, is it gay to have two dicks in one hole? Maybe, I mean, the balls are typically touching at some point. Here’s where we get another bombshell dropped on us, Rawdog says at some point, the two dudes’ butts are touching, proving that he knows that “DP” stands for “double penetration”, but doesn’t know that it means one in the pink, and one in the stink. To explain and show DP to Rawdog, Dom came into the studio to play the female, while Dingo was in his pussy and Rawdog was in his ass. So, let’s review, what did we learn? That Ellis has a DP buddy! Will we ever get to know his name? Has he been on the show? Maybe this will be something to be autographed in the upcoming book that someone can win? Once again, only time will tell.


I recommend that you don’t. You could get in big trouble!


Yea, she hasn’t done coke much. Naw, not much at all.

Could this Western Australian rugby player, Nick Cummins (aka  “The Walloby Winger” aka “The Honey Badger”) be the most Australian person ever? Survey says, YES! Ellis Jeopardy was up next and last time Rawdog won, let’s find out who brought their “A” game for today’s game. Turns out, I don’t know who won. What I do know is that Dingo’s cheese has slid off his cracker, I don’t even know where he pulls his responses from. He managed to get at least 1 question correct, which is typically a big deal for him. It was fantastic! Moto news, Ryan Villopoto won his shit this past weekend, Ryan Dungey came in 2nd for the weekend and 3rd overall, and Davi Millsaps came in 3rd for the weekend but I’m not sure of his overall standings. But you know who does know? The Internet, so go look that shit up if you really wanna know. Hollywood news, and once again, stupid people love to gossip about Lindsay Lohan. This time she says she’s only done cocaine less than a handful of times, which does not explain her looking worse than her mother or the fucking crypt keeper. Anyway, who cares, she’s a fucking has been and I don’t understand how anyone has any kind of interest in her. This led us into 45 minutes of NBA talk with Tully by himself! Ellis had to split to go pitch TV shows and Rawdog knows nothing of the NBA so he hit the bricks as well. While I’m not a huge NBA fan, it was great to hear none the less. If you’ve ever had a chance to catch Tully on Hair Nation, you’d know he definitely has the ability to do good radio by himself. The big difference this time? He gets to take calls from the fans to discuss topics such as: Is everyone watching the playoffs for no reason because the Heat will win? Even though everyone on the Bulls is getting a spinal tap, they could probably still beat the Heat, nobody is sure how to pronounce Tom Thibodeau – not even him – because he’s a mentally challenged person, Blake Griffin is kind of a piece of shit cry-baby whose only interested in getting his dunks on YouTube and Reggie Evans has his number, the Clippers are a big piece of shit and the Lakers will be too. And if you missed any of that, well tough shit – and you missed probably most of the smartest final callers (minus the tree hockey moron) you’ve ever heard at that hour. Also, I’m definitely not reviewing all that from the last 40-45 minutes of Tully’s NBA talk. There was so much information and minutia that I could fill an entire post just on those 40 some-odd minutes. But once again, Tully proves he can carry his own weight – even with no one in the studio with him, to fill a radio show. I hope this was just one of many times we get Tully hour and hopefully it helps to prove that an Ellis Channel could potentially work. And work well. You know who else works and works well? You sister. She learned it all from your mother and from what I know and have heard, she’s got them whore skills. Remember that time your sister had to take a shower with you and her butt accidentally hit your wiener and you two experimented with each other? Yea, that makes both of you fucking deranged sickos. OH!

Show Re-Cap for Monday 3/25/2013


Ellis can take care of his dogs, as long as Katie’s there to do it for him.

Staycation is over, time to get back into the swing of things, and what better way to do that than to do stuff. I know, that doesn’t make much sense and isn’t very funny. But maybe it is funny and you just get my high-brow sense of humor? No, that’s not it. It’s not you, it’s me, sorry ’bout that. Nobody has stuck their dick in the voice-altimication machine during the break, so the hammer has been… on the head, or something. Oh, hey, is supposedly working on mobile devices now, so that’s pretty big news for many of you. Ellis did tons of shit during the staycation and wasn’t sure where to even begin, but he’s full of puppies today. He took his kids pretend extreme falling and Tiger floated around and shit, he also got tuned up a bit at the gym, and rode a mechanical bull. Tully was busy babying it up. Rawdog went to Oakland with a female friend during the staycation, he didn’t fuck any bitches or friends though. He also didn’t eat any shrooms, even though this “friend” said she had a massive bag of them, but didn’t feel like doing any. Say wha? Jude stopped by today after he heard about Rawdog’s chick friend that didn’t give him any shrooms. He gave Rawdog some advice, he needs to bang out an ugly girl and just keep banging her to get his head back in the game. This prompted callers to chime in with their own brand of advice, one of which was “Jennifer” who wanted to take Rawdog out to McDonald’s and maybe take him home, bend him over and fuck him in the ass. By the way, “Jennifer” ended up revealing he was really a dude whilst saying that last bit. ZING!


I think I might owe money to the Jew-manji jar for this one.

Uh oh, My Chemical Romance has made an astonishing announcement, they are done and over with. There’s a Jew-manji jar now, anytime Ellis says anything anti-semetic, Rawdog says something bad about Australians, and when Tully doesn’t say nice things about Ellis’ penis – they all have to put money in the Jew-manji jar. Davi Millsaps called into the show to explain why the fuck he’s the fastest deformed man in the world, not the points leader, and to deny Ellis of his used tires. Rawdog got gassed out after lifting some kettle bells (via Onnit & Donald Schwartz) and some MMA school training in the prize chamber. Some Cody dude that was the winner at Tiger Box stopped on the show today hoping to do make-up and take photos of the guys for his spank bank book. One of the other Tiger Box competitors got a drumstick in  his asshole, while another got tackled and molested by a shirtless Grant Cobb. Oh, and Katie ate some chicks ass out on stage, and FuckYouDude might possibly have gotten peed on. Wish it was you that had a drumstick up your asshole? Good news! Tiger Box should be happening again in about a month. Except this time Anal Gay-Lewis won’t be calling people up to compete because he totally botched that job this go-around. There was a debate between Rawdog & Tully about the writing between The Woodsman and Big Fucking Mega Boat. This prompted Ellis & Cody to drop a few coins into the Jew-manji jar and make a few comments. That’s also when Tully put a dollar in the Jew-manji jar, leaving us to assume he will be blasting racial comments Rawdog’s way at some point.


Toy Story took an unexpected turn.

We got to hear a JizzCult dolphin read masturbation news, turns out the dolphin is a bit of a chubby chaser because he likes to think of whales while rubbing himself on some coral. Some chick called in to ask what “Red Dragons” meant, she quickly earned her first Red Dragons after saying her boyfriend once fucked her with a large, cock-sized herb pipe, which she really enjoyed. World’s Greatest Guitar Riff resumed today, here’s how it played out, or at least as best as anyone but Rawdog could tell:

  • Seek & Destroy (Metallica) vs Bro Hymn (Pennywise)
    Seek & Destroy (Metallica) won and moves to the Sweet 16.
  • Walk (Pantera) vs For Whom the Bell Tolls (Metallica)
    For Whom the Bell Tolls (Metallica) won and moves to the Sweet 16.
  • Seek & Destroy (Metallica) vs For Whom the Bell Tolls (Metallica)
    Suprise, Seek & Destroy (Metallica) won and moves to the Elite 8.
  • Twist of Cain (Danzig) vs Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)
    Ozzy won and moves to the Sweet 16.
  • The Thing That Should Not Be (Metallica) vs A New Level (Pantera)
    Pantera won and moves to the Sweet 16.
  • Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne) vs A New Level (Pantera)
    A New Level (Pantera) won and moves to the Elite 8.
  • Seek & Destroy (Metallica) vs A New Level (Pantera)
    Seek & Destroy (Metallica) won the Elite 8 spot.

Nope. Your mom has the widest slot you can get.

Mr. X flew with some sticky icky again, and this time his luggage didn’t mysteriously go missing. This chick elegantly explains a recent hail storm. Now, wanna hear her auto-tuned? TJES fan, @TheWoodswoman had her piano version Awesome World played on the show today. In Hollywood news, despite the world’s best efforts, Lil Wayne is not dead. James Franco is allegedly a terrible neighbor by leaving trash everywhere, he makes noises and stuff, and the children, think about the children! Ashley Greene’s house burned down via an unattended candle, and it killed her dog. The house fire, not the candle, the candle was acquitted of the dog murdering charge, but held for the arson charge. Lindsay Lohan struck a plea-bargain and will be going to a 90-day lock down rehab center, even though technically, one does not exist in the US. So the judge said, “Shit, my bad. You can serve that 90-days in jail if you wanna.” Does not having sex with Lindsay Lohan at Coachella while Blur is playing, make Rawdog less of a man? Probably. Peter Murphy got arrested for DUI after doing a hit-and-run number. Cher put one of her homes on the market, it’s in Venice and if you’re a total fucking freak, you can buy that grey pube infested pussy grease trap. Victoria Beckham has announced she’s retiring from singing. Did she ever really sing or was just yappy? Jesse James got married for the fourth time, which automatically makes him the bitch in any and all future relationships he’s in. But hey, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, I like you, but you could be banging Urkel and you’d still be the bitch in that relationship. OH!