Tag Archives: DanOD5

Show Re-cap For Friday 2/3/2012

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Super-Big, Awesome Fucking Mega-Boat!That’s right, it’s Who Gives A Fuck Friday (#WGAFF) and guess what else? I don’t give a fuck, a fart, or a fucking fart. Let’s get into this quickly, very soon, like immediately, pretty much right this instant. Talk started off with a bit of hindsight about yesterday’s show and comments concerning Fred Durst. I guess a lot of people were hating on Ellis for not verbally kicking Durst in the nut sack. Ellis, Tully, and Rawdog think the interview went well and that they did what they were supposed to do (I agree.) Get the guest to volunteer information and then get them to volunteer a little bit more, which Ellis is good at. Although Tully did explain that he thought the interview would have gone very differently if they were interviewing him 10 years ago. If you think about it, that’s absolutely true. But enough of yesterday’s show, let’s move on. I SAID LET’S MOVE ON! Fuck, man – come on – try and keep up with me here.

Tully gave Rawdog a ride home on his birthday because he was drunk on dick Jägermeister and Rawdog didn’t give him a hand job or anything of the sort. How rude. I guarantee Dan Diablo (@DanOD5) wouldn’t have stood for that bullshit. Speaking of which, Danny went out last night but did not impregnate any sluts, get any chicks’ numbers, get his junk grabbed by a weird dude or anything like that. I don’t know how that happens, but whatever. You don’t question Dan Diablo’s decisions.

There was a “bad ideas” segment, which included:

  • What have you accidentally thrown away that was valuable?
    The winner here I believe was Christian Hand. He threw away the original trilogy of Star Wars on laser disc as well as several BMI checks worth a couple thousand dollars a piece.
  • Poetry readings
    I’m not sure there was a clear winner chosen here, so I’m just going to go ahead name Tully the winner because his poem was about taking a shit – and it was classy as fuck.
  • Jack The CuntAustralian country songs
    Ellis won this one hands down and not only because he was the only person singing. His awesome impression of Jack The Cunt with extremely homophobic and racist lyrics really made it shine. Sure it may have stuck out like a turd in a punch bowl, but that’s part of the beauty of it. It was fuckin sick, ya cunt.
  • World’s greatest tree
    The Rambo Tree squeaked out the win as a last minute entry, surpassing the Christmas Tree (in your face Rawdog). I mean, it’s name is fucking Rambo. That’s pretty badass and way better than a “rubber” or “maple” tree.
  • Screaming ContestScreaming contest
    Cumtard won this with his cookie monster scream even though Tully seemed louder to the ear. The best part though was when Will “Shiney Shins” Pendarvis gave it a shot.
  • What have you gotten through airport security
    This one should probably go to Rawdog and “Mr. X” because Mr. X got his shampoo confiscated at the airport, but not his weed – that was in his lost luggage – that took him 2 days to work up the courage to go and get. There was a dude that had a bunch of bayonets and M16 cartridges, but whatever. You make the call.
  • Milk news
    What’s going on in the world of milk. I don’t fucking know and I don’t think anyone does. We’ll just go ahead and give this one Jack The Cunt since he sang a short diddy about milk and cunts.
  • New character Barack Lesnar
    Tully wins this one too because he rattled off some shit that was a mix of Barack Obama and Brock Lesnar. Rawdog did too, but he sounded like a racist from the south while he read his. Fuck it, we’ll say both of them win.
  • Jesus BreakdancingBible stories with Rawdog
    Rawdog read a story of two kings or some shit. I don’t know. At this point I’m just thinking about what your mom is doing right now and it’s probably something really deviant.
  • Bobby Evil Aussie Magician
    This goes to Ellis as well because it sounded like Jack The Cunt’s cousin. And I’m still thinking about your mother.
  • Why are you so lame?
    This award goes to Cumtard. No explanation needed. However, how many loads do think your mom has swallowed by now? It’s like almost noon.
  • The ultimate chocolate bar
    You can’t really beat what is already out there so I’m just going to say Snickers won (I think Tully suggested it.) Why? Because I said so, that’s why! Don’t argue with me about it okay? Okay. Fuck, I really could use a drink right about now. Think your mom would make me one? She could use her asshole as the shaker and then squirt it out like she taught Sparky to squirt milk.

And that should just about do it. If not, it’s Friday and I don’t give a rats ass. But your mom does, she gives up her ass on the daily. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/1/2012

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Annoying InternAnother new intern for Sirius XM came on the show today, says her nickname is Ozzy. Once again, this intern has never heard of the show, and sounds like maybe never heard of Jason Ellis. It amazes me the number of interns who want to get in to the business, and have no clue about anyone in the business, except for maybe knowing who Howard Stern is.

The impression I got in the first 5 seconds? She sounds annoying. Sounds like she thinks she knows it all, did I mention she’s 20? She mentions “experience” a lot. I remember when I was 20 and thought I knew it all. I think her age really showed she’s not ready to be making any kind of important (or even approaching important) decisions. But hey, she’s 20 and I’m a dirty old man so that may be why I found her a bit annoying. I will say this though, she got grilled pretty good – she stayed (fake) confident and her voice didn’t start cracking (though that might have helped.)

Rawdog seemed to be partially defending her, she must be good looking. I have no idea if she is or not, but it doesn’t matter. She said she wanted to be “in the business” since she was 7. I’m sure that happens to some people, but how shitty is your childhood if your dream at 7 is be a producer, editor, or whatever else she rattled off? At 7 years old, why don’t you want to be a princess, or a queen, or a unicorn, etc? Anyway, let’s move on.

Intern DanGet this shit! Danny (@DanOD5), the other new intern? Yea, he used his position on the show to get with a chick in a motherfucking hot tub! Danny’s stock just went way up in my book! This chick offered to cook him dinner, she’s smoking hot, gave him her number, got connected on Facebook, this bitch has a fan page because she’s an aspiring actor. I mean, what in the blue fuck? Dude is in town for like a day and lands some hot ass actress type? It’s also speculated that Danny just may walk on water, although that hasn’t been confirmed yet – however I expect it to be, shortly.

Today was World’s Greatest Wednesday, so we’re determining the world’s greatest pterodactyl (the sexual maneuver). Nominees and overall winners, from 1st to last, were:

  1. Stephen Hawking, Larry Flynt, and Christopher Reeve
  2. Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short
  3. Bert, Ernie, and the Cookie Monster
  4. Danny and two clones of Danny
  5. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr.
  6. Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman
  7. Ronald McDonald, the Burger King, and Jack In The Box
  8. Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Daniel Craig
  9. Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Jackie Chan
  10. The Undertaker, Patrick Ewing, and Snuffaluffagus

And there you have it, that’s all the excitement that happened today. The only other exciting thing I didn’t tell you about was your mom did her first gaping scene today and handled it like a champ. You should’ve seen how wide her asshole was stretched, she said you would’ve been proud.

Show Re-cap For Monday 1/30/2012

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Eskibro kisses have been proposed, at first for EM8 and then for pretty much everyday use. That’s pretty much exactly like Eskimo kisses (rubbing your noses together), but with a slight headbutt and a manly hand holding position added for a bit more masculinity? I don’t see it catching on, but who knows.

A new intern showed up today, his name is Danny. So a few us started trying to suggest nicknames for him with #NickNamesForTheIntern and we got shot down by Tully pretty quick. I suppose it is too early to really give him a good nickname, we just don’t know enough about him yet.

Rob CorddryTurns out he and Rawdog might have some musical tastes in common (think indie / hipster) and then a band virtually nobody has heard of was brought up, Neutral Milk Hotel I believe? Just the name alone sounds a little pretentious and a lot fucking stupid. Rob Corddry (@robcorddry) stopped by and low-and-behold, he has heard of New House of Mayonnaise and really likes them.

That’s about it really. The show was good, there just wasn’t a lot to talk about. I feel like I might have missed something, but I don’t think I did. Until tomorrow, when your mom starts another shift on the street corner. OH!