That’s right, it’s Who Gives A Fuck Friday (#WGAFF) and guess what else? I don’t give a fuck, a fart, or a fucking fart. Let’s get into this quickly, very soon, like immediately, pretty much right this instant. Talk started off with a bit of hindsight about yesterday’s show and comments concerning Fred Durst. I guess a lot of people were hating on Ellis for not verbally kicking Durst in the nut sack. Ellis, Tully, and Rawdog think the interview went well and that they did what they were supposed to do (I agree.) Get the guest to volunteer information and then get them to volunteer a little bit more, which Ellis is good at. Although Tully did explain that he thought the interview would have gone very differently if they were interviewing him 10 years ago. If you think about it, that’s absolutely true. But enough of yesterday’s show, let’s move on. I SAID LET’S MOVE ON! Fuck, man – come on – try and keep up with me here.
Tully gave Rawdog a ride home on his birthday because he was drunk on
dick Jägermeister and Rawdog didn’t give him a hand job or anything of the sort. How rude. I guarantee Dan Diablo (@DanOD5) wouldn’t have stood for that bullshit. Speaking of which, Danny went out last night but did not impregnate any sluts, get any chicks’ numbers, get his junk grabbed by a weird dude or anything like that. I don’t know how that happens, but whatever. You don’t question Dan Diablo’s decisions.
There was a “bad ideas” segment, which included:
- What have you accidentally thrown away that was valuable?
The winner here I believe was Christian Hand. He threw away the original trilogy of Star Wars on laser disc as well as several BMI checks worth a couple thousand dollars a piece.
- Poetry readings
I’m not sure there was a clear winner chosen here, so I’m just going to go ahead name Tully the winner because his poem was about taking a shit – and it was classy as fuck.
- Australian country songs
Ellis won this one hands down and not only because he was the only person singing. His awesome impression of Jack The Cunt with extremely homophobic and racist lyrics really made it shine. Sure it may have stuck out like a turd in a punch bowl, but that’s part of the beauty of it. It was fuckin sick, ya cunt.
- World’s greatest tree
The Rambo Tree squeaked out the win as a last minute entry, surpassing the Christmas Tree (in your face Rawdog). I mean, it’s name is fucking Rambo. That’s pretty badass and way better than a “rubber” or “maple” tree.
- Screaming contest
Cumtard won this with his cookie monster scream even though Tully seemed louder to the ear. The best part though was when Will “Shiney Shins” Pendarvis gave it a shot.
- What have you gotten through airport security
This one should probably go to Rawdog and “Mr. X” because Mr. X got his shampoo confiscated at the airport, but not his weed – that was in his lost luggage – that took him 2 days to work up the courage to go and get. There was a dude that had a bunch of bayonets and M16 cartridges, but whatever. You make the call.
- Milk news
What’s going on in the world of milk. I don’t fucking know and I don’t think anyone does. We’ll just go ahead and give this one Jack The Cunt since he sang a short diddy about milk and cunts.
- New character Barack Lesnar
Tully wins this one too because he rattled off some shit that was a mix of Barack Obama and Brock Lesnar. Rawdog did too, but he sounded like a racist from the south while he read his. Fuck it, we’ll say both of them win.
- Bible stories with Rawdog
Rawdog read a story of two kings or some shit. I don’t know. At this point I’m just thinking about what your mom is doing right now and it’s probably something really deviant.
- Bobby Evil Aussie Magician
This goes to Ellis as well because it sounded like Jack The Cunt’s cousin. And I’m still thinking about your mother.
- Why are you so lame?
This award goes to Cumtard. No explanation needed. However, how many loads do think your mom has swallowed by now? It’s like almost noon.
- The ultimate chocolate bar
You can’t really beat what is already out there so I’m just going to say Snickers won (I think Tully suggested it.) Why? Because I said so, that’s why! Don’t argue with me about it okay? Okay. Fuck, I really could use a drink right about now. Think your mom would make me one? She could use her asshole as the shaker and then squirt it out like she taught Sparky to squirt milk.
And that should just about do it. If not, it’s Friday and I don’t give a rats ass. But your mom does, she gives up her ass on the daily. OH!