The Thrilla In Senim Silla

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If you’re reading this, there’s no doubt you heard of Jude Angelini. You’re probably a fan of The Jason Ellis Show too. But are you a fan of the Foreally Show? How about a fan of Senim Silla or Binary Star? Well, if you’ve never heard of Ross (Senim Silla) or the Foreally Show, you should check it out. You’ll hear some familiar voices, and along with those familiar voices, you’re going to laugh and be entertained as Jude & Ross talk their way through pretty much any topic that might be on their minds at the moment. But what about the stuff they don’t talk about? Well, here is Ross to answer those questions.

Dad? Is that really you?

Dad? Is that really you?

How often have people on the street confused you with Darryl “DMC” McDaniels?
Not as often as I’d like. It’s a new one though. I get Will Smith semi regularly. Lenny Kravitz sometimes. It seems I’m pretty much interchangeable with every light-skin kat ever.

Jude recently mentioned to Jason Ellis that he’d like to have a show with you and Christian Hand on his new channel. Would you get Binary star back together to make a theme song for it?
Growing up a Hip Hop/Rap elitist, any kind of Rap used commercially, makes my skin crawl. To this day, I can’t stand seeing kats rap in commercials, tv, movies or even real-life most times. I think it’s because there’s such a thin line between good Rap and annoying-as-shit Rap. Anytime a kat recites a rhyme to me, it becomes a contestant for one of the worst experiences of my life. [And that’s including kats bussing my lyrics back to me]

When you’re teaching a young lady about hip-hop because you’re trying to get in her pants, do you ever just want to slap the bitch for not knowing the things you’re explaining to her?
I don’t use Hip Hop knowledge to get into drawls, it’s actually been proven to be the fastest
way to talk myself out of drawls. Because inevitably, some stupidity ensues that I feel like I have to correct. Not just for me but Hip Hop as a whole. Everything’s allgood until she says
“COMMON’s best album is ‘Like Water for Chocolate’ ” or “I think 2000’s Wu is better than 90’s Wu”

If you had to pick one fandom to exclusively be a part of for the rest of time (ie..never see a batman movie again if you go with The Hulk) which would it be and why?
That’s a damn good question. Can I choose all DC animated? I think I could live with just that. If not, and I have to choose one figure, I’d go with Batman. The batman universe is deep and out of all the comic book related offerings, it has been the most consistent on delivery. From all the animated series/movies to the live-action, dating back as far as the late 80’s.

justguythings-ross

Jude’s taking a piss, let’s talk about Gene.

I never would have thought to ask anyone this until you guys started talking about him, but what the fuck is Gene Hackman up to?
Unfortunately, there’s no new news on the guy but I can tell you that he turned down the lead roles in Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Your “I’ll bury the body for you” friend. There’s not a Tom Cruise movie he doesn’t love. You terrified for your life or you wondering exactly how far his gay goes?
I don’t understand the question.

Now that you’ve met Michael Tully, how long do you think before you sleep with his wife? And why do you hate Tully so much?
Well the questions need to be asked & answered by every dude that wants me to fuck his
wife. Lotta “depends” in that. 1. What’s his wife look like? 2. (If 1 looks good) I’d have to check with my wife to see if she’s willing to lead him along while I have relations with his wife. 3. Will I be drinking? 3a. How much time & effort is she willing to put into erecting a whiskey-dick?

As for my hate for Tully, I can’t say that much exists. I haven’t spent a whole lotta time with the man. He sat in on the Foreally Show briefly and other than his love of grape-flavored juice boxes, I couldn’t tell you much. I guess he might hate the British.

What’s it like being a sellout race traitor? No, but seriously, what are your thoughts about when people dog on you when Jude drops N bombs?
Nobody has ever said anything to me about Jude’s use of the word “nigga” or “nigger” or any variation thereof. I think real Black issues dwarf Jude rapping along with his favorite songs. There’s a lotta things that have fucked up Black America but Jude & the word “Nigger” aren’t on that list. We, the human race, have to stop giving Jude & the word “Nigger” so much power.

You’ve become increasingly skilled at talking on the mic in a radio/podcast setting. When did you realize that you used to say “you know what I’m sayin'” excessively? Is there anything else you do that you want to work on?
After the show became more popular, we received a few emails clowning me about it and that was when I first became cognizant of it and began trying to work out of it. Next, I’m going to work on these “Rights”. I also have to increase my threshold for negative comments it seems. The feedback you get in this radio/podcast shit can be like YouTube comments at times. And the way I’m wired, I always gotta respond to these assholes. So I’m going to work on that.

If cooked to perfection and served with your choice of sauce, do you think you could eat 96 ounces of Lord Sear to have your picture on the wall and win a t-shirt?
No. Comment.

There is a dude on The Jason Ellis Show who does crazy stunts, eating gross stuff, getting tortured, ya know, regular shit. Could you please make the nastiest jail pie you can dream up for that dude? What would be your choice to really grime up a jail pie?
I’d feed him the kind of shit we’d eat in Oakland County Jail. We had this shit we called
“Cathead”. Which was basically like a food loaf. It had meat product, bread & maybe some
potatoes in it. They’d smother it in the grossest gravy & serve it with green beans or corn. So I’d take that, add some ramen noodles and mix it all together with generic brand cheese wiz. Just like Mother Love makes. PS: Mother Love is a 6’5″ muscle-bound monster dressed in cut-off state-blue shorts and a tight-ass t-shirt tied in a knot to expose his stomach.

What is your vision for the podcast in the future? Would you like it to become more frequent, as in a daily show, or are you happy with the one a week setup?
We’re talking about this right now. We’d both like to do more but know we have to build with our growth. So we’re always thinking of more ways to add value to the show for our listeners. Also in October, we’re launching the show with BitTorrent as one of their bundles and plan to do a number of different things with that.

How is that visual element for the show coming along? Did you take that camera out of the box yet? Or are you gonna sell it and put the money towards a real camera?
Hahhahaa…still in the box. It sits near the foot of my bed, so I have to step around it when
going to bed and when I wake up. I now hate it and everything that has to do with DSLR
photography.

How many grammatical and/or spelling errors did you find in these questions?
There was only the one about the friend and hiding dead bodies while watching Tom Cruise movies. I didn’t know wtf that was asking.

THE END

Thanks to Ross for being cool as fuck and doing this Q & A session with us even though he barely knows us or how stupid we are. If you haven’t heard the Foreally Show yet, you really should – it’s pretty fuckin’ hilarious and entertaining. Ross & Jude are childhood friends, it’s like sitting in on a bullshit session with your best friends.

Show Re-cap for Wednesday 8/20/14

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Hey there. Here is the part where I introduce you to the recap, but yeah, nothing witty or funny is coming to mind, so fuuuuuuuckk you. On with the recapping.

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A man named Crazy called the show early on, (Not Crazy Jerr, this was a point of contention) and he had a wicked case of hiccups, so Ellis shot him in hopes to fix that. Remember kids, if you or someone you love has the hiccups, get a bullet in them. Speaking of getting bullets in ya, Ellis has been kind of down lately, maybe because of the stress of negotiations coupled with being sick and not being able to work out because of his heart stuff. And when he gets down, the hard stuff in his childhood takes the front seat and fucks with his head. But he powers through and realizes that even the bad stuff shaped his life. And Ellis has the connection with other people who went through the same thing because they all have the same mindset. Tully agreed that a lot of the time, people who went through certain circumstances and situations, are sort of put in play for certain lifestyles. Whether that is as simple as being gay, or being into kinky shit, or just being into dark stuff, there isn’t anything wrong with any of that, but essentially your experiences or situations can push you a couple of steps in a certain direction. This is too serious. Bring on the racist jokes!

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Tully’s mother in law is in town, and it’s making him realize just how much Japanese got leaked into his kid. She made breakfast for them this morning which consisted of rice wrapped in seaweed and tiny, whole fish. And she made a soup with tiny little fish in it too. What. The. Fuck. Haven’t these people learned about lucky charms? Who the fuck makes fish cereal???  But, the Littlest Tully digs on the Asian food, so what can you do?

 

So the ALS Ice Bucket challenge has been sweeping the nation and there really is no way to escape videos of people dumping water on themselves. The good news is that the ALS foundation has received $16 Million in donations vs. last year’s $50,000. So no matter how annoying it is to see it over and over, no matter how unoriginal and lame people trying to be original and cool are doing the videos, tough shit, it’s working. That’s not enough for Cumtard though, who says it’s jumped the shark, and is lame now. So he did not participate in dumping water on his head when challenged by the Champion of the World Butterballs. Instead, he just donated the $100 and fucked it off. This wasn’t enough for Jason because he supposedly told everyone in the green room to do it, and they all fucked it off. Ellis got pissed about the whole thing and yelled at everyone for a minute (Except for Tully, who got called out but is of course protected under contract and can’t be challenged for charity.). Will did the same as Kevin and donated the money and yada yada yada. Funny thing was, Ellis was challenged a few months ago by some moto dudes, but didn’t do it then because he wanted to do it bigger or something. Ellis made them both spin the wheel I’m assuming because they didn’t do what he said. Will had to eat anchovies while listening to Bon Jovi, which made him fake vomit and everyone laughed joyously. Kevin had to put Bengay under his armpits. It didn’t do anything. Later in the show, while Cumtard didn’t do the challenge, the Smartest Box in the World, AKA: Kevin’s balls ended up doing the challenge, and it was kind of funny. so….

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There was a video of Mel Gibson talking about Robin Williams and a bunch of people think Mel is on coke. Ellis thinks that’s bullshit, that the dude looks great for a racist alcoholic psychopath. The video kind of boiled down to him touching his nose so everyone jumped on the cocaine train.

child-with-enlarged-hands

Kaleem is a boy with gigantic hands. He’s from India, which seems to be the part of the world where these kinds of things happen. Unfortunately for Hammer Fists, the Jason Ellis Show has a deep well of jokes for people with giant hands. Tully proposed he could come to America and star in insurance commercials alongside Dikembe Mutumbo blocking shots like a madman. He can use his hands, gripping stuff but really it’s more like he rests them on things. He could also be a god damn superhero if he swings one of those sledgehammers at someone’s dome. Ahhh the legend of MittenHands.

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After the break, the guys had a segment that Cumtard put together of the most horrible rappers of Youtube. First Up 50 Tysonwho is a Youtube rapping sensation with autism. Can you believe the nerve of Cumtard? Trying to get Ellis and Tully to make fun of a dude with a genuine disability? Pretty fucked up if you ask me. I’d be willing to bet Cumtard went to tard school with this kid and got humiliated in a rap battle and this was his long game at getting back at him. Foiled once again, tard boy. The rest of the rappers in the segment were all horrible, but like 5 of them were all people who were on tosh.0 a couple of years ago so it wasn’t anything new if you’ve watched that show or been on the internet for an extended period of time. Names like: Froggy Fresh (Who was Krispy Kreme), The Why Must I Cry dude, the (Above) Average (Racist) Homeboy, and the Cold in the D chicks. Maybe I’m a negative asshole, but I thought it went on a little too long. The bad music thing never really does much for me, especially when some of the acts are intentionally being bad, or are so bad that it’s more annoying than funny. The hope here is that you can make fun of it enough to where you can make the segment funny, but it just didn’t do much for me.

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Final calls were as final calls do. Not a whole lot of hits, but one guy did ask Tully and Ellis how they met. The boys regaled (One day I’m going to go back and see how many times I’ve used ‘regaled’, I bet it’s at least once per recap) us with the tale of how “There they were, and there was a hole, and a man is only a man and a man has needs as only a man can, and they bonded through the hole before they got to know each other and they exchanged fluids and became compatible for a 4 hour radio show format.”

A lady in Oregon set her husband on fire because he refused to not put weed killer on their lawn to protect their dogs. Fucking hippies.

Here’s a clown.

Step into my fucking lair!

Cup the balls….Like THIS!

 

Show Re-Cap for Tuesday 8/19/14

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I just renewed my truck insurance and health insurance and god damn if it didn’t feel like a barbed stone cock just got aggressively forced into my rectum. I mean, I’m going to the land of free health care and I doubt a California minimum policy from GEICO is gonna cover me in another country. Somebody bring me that fucking British gecko, I got some god damn questions I need answered. That pig ain’t gonna be no help, but if you wanna chop him up and make me a BLT you can hunt him down too. And whatever animal’s paw print they used for the Kaiser Permanente logo, BRING ME ALL THE MASCOTS!!! I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH YOUR CORPORATE POLICIES AND YOUR ANIMAL REPRESENTATIVES SHOULD BE TRAINED TO HELP ME!!! While I wait for a veritable Noah’s menagerie of fortune 500 figureheads, I figure now would be a good time to recap the Jason Ellis show!!! Today kicked off with a mighty thunderous fart (from me) and some talk of bugs eating poo inside the human body and how next time that happens, Tully is fully allowed to take the reigns. Jason went to the doctor yesterday because he’s had a rumbly in his tumbly for a while now and he’s old enough to know that tempting fate is a luxury reserved for the young and stupid. Luckily though, the symptoms haven’t included diarrhea so it was no problem over the weekend at the UTV race. So, the doctor gave Ellis some stuff to clean himself out, but if it doesn’t work, he’s gonna have to do like Cumtard did that one time and shit in a plastic cowboy hat and have the scientists analyze it. Tully has had to shop for a new doctor cause Dr. Creepy won’t take his phone calls anymore, strangely enough, starting the day after they started calling him Dr. Creepy on the air, but he has a few things saved up to get poked and fingered and swabbed in the near future. Jude came in to hang out with the guys in his “gave up on life” look, which includes swim trunks and a plain t-shirt over some boat shoes. Jason went on the Jesse Ventura podcast and couldn’t help but call out the guy with the minigun in “Predator” on not knowing that pro wrestling is a lot less work than a legitimate sport like MMA or Playstation 3. Jude and Jason are both on a “fuck the world” kick right now cause really, a guy was able to raise $20,000 to make fucking potato salad on KickStarter, so what the fuck should I be amped about? The guys talked McDonalds for a bit cause they know they all have a particular menu item they routinely get, and it speaks volumes about a persons status in the world of pedophilia. Tully saw a video of a guy smoking McDonald’s french fries, and this quickly turned to drafting Jetta to toke up on some potato and wood pulp goodness. Jason told Jude about his experience racing this weekend and how he was kicking way more ass than normal and that’s always a nice feeling in your guts, not like bugs eating your poo. Jude told the guys he can’t even drive a stickshift, which makes sense cause American cars are huge in Detroit and they’re notorious for not making a manual transmission version of just about anything. Jude went antiquing at the flea market this weekend, which is far less gangster than off road mini truck racing, but he WAS fucked up on muscle relaxers, and he’s an amazingly white mother fucker, so it actually kinda worked. The guys talked about how cleaning when you’re high is usually not a good sign, even though your apartment is gonna be fucking SPOTLESS!!! Somehow, the story of Jude buying some crystal liquor glasses turned into a lesson about the Freemasons and how a collection of old rich Christians have put a magical Jew into power over everything. Luckily though, Zach Galifinakis has nothing to do with them, so when Hangover 6 comes out, it’s still OK to watch it without feeling like a traitor to free thought or anything like that. Ellis got caught saying “bullshit” in front of his kids this weekend, but Jude was able to calm him down by letting him know that the more you cuss in front of your children, the more they’ll rebel against you and turn into upstanding young citizens. Jason also went to El Compadres for dinner with the kids and somebody was using foul language really loud and as Jason was leaving he got a text from Blasko saying it was his friends and that they’re sorry for tainting the youth and will wait until they’re in junior high and developing their own personalities before they take that honor. The guys talked parenting for a while cause they’re all dad’s except for Jude who’s a fuckin’ Champiooooooonnnnnn but still sees his daughter. Tully’s kid is gonna be a track star someday and Tiger Ellis is gonna be wrecking shit at the dirt bike track like Return Of The Yard Sale: Electric Boogaloo. But that shit doesn’t matter so much cause Jude’s book Hyena is dropping on the 23rd and if you got the first sun, there’s gonna be more of it in the new version and if you didn’t get it on the first run, you can suck a dick, then learn to read and go buy it! And if you have a huge clit, Jude will not turn you away. Just don’t be a massive cunt. Some people called in to talk about cursing in front of your kids and whether or not it’ll make your kids shitty or if it’s really kind of a moot point. I for one, have noticed that kids are idiots, and idiots latch onto things really easily, so if you think it’s something an idiot shouldn’t be trusted to do safely and correctly, keep it the fuck away from them. Jude had to step out to do his regular gig, but he did let us know that next Monday, we’re gonna hear Tully on the Foreally show! Which is fucking awesome for all of us who love some Foreally, like me, and a bunch of other people who work here. And remember folks, vomiting stops people from rioting, so if you’re shopping for home defense accessories, an industrial drum of ipecac and a bunch of Super Soakers is a great idea.

 

MOTO NEWS WITH A BIG FAT DICK FO YA MOTHAFUCKIN’ MOUTH!!! In the 450’s at Indiana this weekend, it was muddy and there was racing and Ryan Dungey got cock-blocked like a priest at an all boys military school. I mean, Josh Grant for fuck’s sake. Josh Grant. Like many times when I have no idea what I’m talking about and just feel like being a dick, I’m sure Dungey is feeling the pain without any help from the public and will try harder next time. Now, I didn’t watch any of it, but the guys talked moto for a while longer and sounded like they knew what they were talking about better than I would. Jason would be enjoying moto some more on his own time if it weren’t for the fact that he had to give his bike back to Suzuki, and also he has a turd brewing that would suffocate a moose. There was some MMA talk which I also only vaguely paid attention to, but it sounds like it was good watching for the weekend. Tully has found himself more racist against the English than he used to be, mostly because of Jason Ellis and the UFC. There was talk of how Josh Koscheck is an announcer now because when you get punched and kicked in the head that severely for that amount of time, it’s a shitty move to lay somebody off. Tully suggested that Affliction should do an endorsement deal where they find people with out of date looks and give them makeovers with new Affliction gear, AND AT THE SAME TIME redesign Affliction gear to not look so shitty. But hey, none of that’s important cause WOMEN!!! AM I RIGHT?!?!?! A guy in Oklahoma is in the process of divorcing his wife and since he’s worth a few billion dollars, the courts are trying to figure out if he earned it legit or if he did some crooked shit, and that’s important cause his future ex-cunt is trying to get half of it. That’s right, half of 17 billion fucking dollars. Another lady in New Mexico was living with another lady and was dating that lady’s brother, and the siblings found out that the first lady was having sex with their dog on a regular basis. Now, after she admitted it, the brother broke up with her, and one night they were all having dinner together (cause the spirit of forgiveness is pretty similar to idiocy in some particular cases) and the brother and sister noticed that the water they were drinking with their meal had…sort of a tint to it, but didn’t stop drinking it, and had a funny taste, but didn’t stop drinking it, and it was only after dog fucker kept encouraging them to eat that it started to seem like a murder plot, WHICH IT WAS! Cause  dog fucker put rubbing alcohol in their water and toilet cleaner in the food cause HOW DARE YOU BREAK UP WITH DOG FUCKER?!?!??! DOG FUCKER BREAKS UP WITH YOU!!! A CNN reporter was at the US embassy in Baghdad and got picked up for being drunk and disorderly and apologized for telling emergency workers “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!?!?!” while attempting to bite paramedics who (in a fit of reverse Darwinism) were trying to keep this lady from wandering into traffic or being stoned like an unwed mother in biblical times. A lady in Albany, New York stole a python from a local pet store, slung it around her neck like a scarf, and drove her prius into the side of a fire station cause apparently the subway doesn’t run anywhere that a person might actually want to go around there. A woman in Scotland went to the doctor cause she was losing weight and couldn’t stop shitting herself, and the doctor found a ten year old sex toy stuck in her vag. Hey, at least it wasn’t a toilet baby, am I right? A chick in Eerie, Pennsylvania was trying to rescue a cat from a tree, and ended up getting stuck there herself because some people don’t understand that nature will fucking handle itself and when that cat wants to come down it will, it doesn’t need your moronic attempts at help in which you do yourself more harm in the process. And finally, a woman in Indiana was driving home after eating a burger and got a message from god that she should let go of the wheel (which makes me think that’s a tasty fucking burger) and the second she let go of the wheel she rear ended a guy on a Harley and the bitch kept rolling like she didn’t just fire a guy across three lanes of traffic and narrowly missed running over his head, but took a nice digger over the guy’s midsection. And to make matters worse, she stuck to the story after the cops showed up. A guy who was stationed in Baghdad with that CNN lady said that she’s always been fucking nuts, but then again she’s also been reporting live from Baghdad for about a decade. The guys took a break cause that much estrogen can make anybody need a snack, and I need to take a piss.

 

Let’s all wish Everlast a happy birthday, belated as it might be, cause he’s a good dude and it’s nice to be appreciated. You should also donate to cystic fibrosis research cause that would be a huge help to him and his daughter. After that though, you should get the cock off your chest, cause Brock Lesnar is now in the WWE and that’s a lot of cock to get off of a person’s chest. To start things off, Tully found a story about a 50-something year old Scottish guy who died with a vibrator in his ass cause he got it stuck and decided not to go to the hospital for five days, because today’s cock off you chest should hopefully be a sexual one. Any of your dark, weird fetish shit that your mother would disown you for, that’s what Tully wants to hear about. WILSON had to do 8 hours of community service and pay a $600 fine for littering (sexy littering). One caller said he pisses in the sink on a really regular basis, and not just at his own house. Next caller let the guys know that when he was in high school, his dad married a fine ass younger lady and one night while him and the stepmom were sitting around the house drinking, one thing led to another and they ended up fucking BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE, the son didn’t do a great job disposing of evidence, so even though the stepmom didn’t sell him out the dad still thought she was cheating with somebody and divorced her ass. Next we heard from a guy who was having group sex with another couple and felt a little stubble around his dick during a blowjob and when he hit the lights it was his buddy going down on him, not one of the ladies. After that we heard from a guy who also accidentally got blown by a dude at a porn shop jerk off booth when he stuck his dick through the glory hole and now he’s become kind of a regular patron of the glory holes. After that we heard from a lady who broke up with her boyfriend and started banging his best friend while she was on her period (LAAAAAAAMMEEE I’ve done that, it’s called being in your early twenties). Next we got a call from a guy who would routinely jerk off or blow his friend in his sleep, to completion. It gets weirder though, cause apparently the friend is as queer as a three dollar bill, but only in his sleep cause at times he would reciprocate, in his sleep. Next caller let his friend stroke him to completion when he was pretty young because his friend convinced him they had to do it as practice for when they start having to worry about girls. Next guy who called went out partying one night with some friends and his sister and after getting blackout drunk and not knowing what happened, he woke up naked, next to his sister. Yep, his sister. Next caller was a guy who had sex with his friend’s bride to be on a pretty regular basis and she knows all the same people and it’s a whole family thing and game of telephone bullshit. After that was a guy who was in a dispute with his girlfriend in the process of breaking up with her, and he had to break into her mom’s house to steal his dog back. Next was a guy who routinely hocks loogies in his boss’ slurpees and wipes his ass sweat in the dude’s respirator filter. After that was a dude who had a terrible phone connection but was able to let Hot Dog the call screener know that he illegally buried tons of fracking chemicals. Next was a guy who was fucking his girlfriend and his dog started licking his balls AND HE SWEARS IT’S A TRUE STORY but he doesn’t want to tell his girlfriend cause he kinda enjoyed it and didn’t try to stop the whole thing. Next we heard from a guy who was dating a virgin who didn’t want to fuck until marriage so he banged her best friend on her birthday. Then there was a dude who got his beer stolen in the high school locker room so he pissed in the dude’s shampoo. After that we heard from a bartender who banged a married lady who was going through a divorce and might have made a baby with her but he can’t be sure cause he doesn’t remember if he shot a load or not. Finally, we heard from a fellow who kept his old phone in his bathroom for playing sudoku on the john, but also had it set up as a motion detector camera so that he can record his wife fiddling the bean when she takes a bath. Voyeurism!!! The guys invited WILSON back in to give more details on his littering arrest, cause that shit is the kind of thing that only happens to black people in the 1950’s, and definitely not a white guy in a progressive state like ours in this day and age. The guys discussed for a while whether secretly filming your partner in their most self-intimate moments is a bad thing, and basically as long as it’s someone really close to you it shouldn’t be a big deal, but definitely not OK to do to your buddies or your sister. Shitting would be less of a problem to film than masturbating, so that opens up your options a bit, but still, just be sure you and whoever you’re filming are open and honest about your logs. So, back to Pendarvis getting racially profiled by a shitty cop, the reason he got a ticket for littering was because he tore up a receipt in a fit of modern day paranoia and somehow that enormously pissed off the cop that saw him doing it so he got a fine and community service for being an unreasonably nervous citizen of the digital age. And in a live performance that was probably missed by everyone, Wilson Pendarvis the Third was cleaning up trash on the sidewalks of Hollywood all day on Saturday. The guys tried to find some angle where this ticket actually makes sense not to resist, but given the way police have been acting lately, I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to poke the bear without a well appointed “us taxpayers won’t be taking your bullshit” type mob backing me up, which is hard to find cause the kind of people who would fight cops in the street usually aren’t taxpayers. There was more talk of how this particular cop is probably just pissed cause shit isn’t working out like all those action movies he’s been indoctrinated with and he’s THIS FUCKING CLOSE to being suspended for numerous citizen complaints, so he was probably just being a dick because the universe keeps kicking him in the balls and he unwittingly invites it by acting like an asshole. A lawyer called in to tell Pendarvis that he’s a bitch for not tacking that ticket and bitch slapping the officer with it, because it really is the most frivolous and pointless waste of public funds to continue employing that fucktard and it should be made as clear and public as possible. Another cop called in to tell him that he only got the ticket for having a shitty faux-hawk and googly eyes. Cumtard stepped in to tell the guys that when he got his jaywalking tickets he went to court on one of them and he got it thrown out cause even the cops know that some shit is too petty to bother showing up to court for and all they’re hoping is that you’re a bitch who won’t bother knowing your rights and making it a drain on others for cops to be idiots and not solve real crimes. Hot Dog never has to deal with the cops cause he’s too doughy and lovable, so it’s hard to consider him a menace to anything for jaywalking or tossing a cigarette butt. A male nurse in Croatia has been collecting the cocks of the dead for quite a while now, and was finally sussed out by the cops and is gonna have to… do something about it, cause postmortem castration is a shitty thing to do. Cumtard insisted that he’s heard of this happening here in the developed world but he can’t find a YouTube link so the jury is still out on it. The guys took some final calls as they’re known to do, and it was friendly and not fucking stupid, as they’re known to be. Oxycottin John called in too, and he’s doing good, so shout the mother fuck out. And now, I have to get back to my real job, insulting telemarketers until they kill themselves and wrangling cats.

 

Red Dragons, Mother Fuckers ,,rr,

Intros & Drops from EllisFam

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Ellis is always looking for new intro’s, buttons, drops, etc. for the show. So we took it upon ourselves to make some more – good, bad, or otherwise. It’s always fun to make them even if they never see the light of day. Although, some actually have! Give them a listen!

This Week’s Trend: The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

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Everyone is doing it, it’s been going on for about 2 weeks now. Why aren’t you? Everyone is not only challenging their friends, but also trying to raise the game. You’re just going to do the bucket of ice water over your head? What about that, plus getting tazed? How about that, but after getting punched in the face by an MMA legend? There are all kinds of scenarios you can add to the mix, but that’s not the point. The point is Lou Gehrig’s Disease. That and The Jason Ellis Show. That’s what we’re trying to bring attention to here, a disease, and The Jason Ellis Show. Also, you could be really cool and donate to an ALS charity.

With that, I give you what’s been called “baseball’s Gettysburg Address”. Lou Gehrig’s speech to a sold-out crowd at Yankee Stadium. Only it’s not.