Show Re-cap For Tuesday 7/3/2012

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HHEEEYYYYYYYY MOTHER FUCKERS! I’m back, and here to tell you about this little show on the satellite radio called the Jason Mother Fuckin Ellis Show. To start off Jason is in this love triangle where some chick hit on him at Ellis Mania 7 and since then she has kept contact with him sending him seductive pictures and texts. Well after a delightful evening eating sushi, the fish not the pussy, he then later saw her again at the gym. With her boyfriend, the dude that Jason trains with. This is quite the situation as you might think. So Jason is worried that he might lose a friend over this crazy bitch and he is also worried that this crazy bitch might do crazy bitch things, which is what crazy bitches do.

Adam Sandler made some great movies and a lot of shitty movies. I like the “boobs on the head” one. If you got that reference then we are friends for life. The Bag Balm arrived so Jason is now fucking a can of dick healing goodness until his thunder stick is back in proper condition. Oh and don’t forget to wash the teets first. The EllisMania Bikini Contest sounds like it is going to be the event of the year. Fist is the Q&A, then the dunking contest, then the “Dude am I a Slut” live. Yer mum should enter, she is a sure winner for the Dude am I a Slut. She already won the Dude am I a Bush Pig contest. Wait, that’s not the end, I just couldn’t resist.

There’s more zombie news, does anyone give a shit anymore? I’m ready for the Mummy news, haven’t heard that one yet. New Music Tuesday was today, coincidentally. Kiss has a new song. Thought they died, Maybe not. Also heard from Tim McGraw. To be honest as a country bumpkin, I cried a little when I heard this steaming pile of manure. What the fuck ever happened to Don’t Take The Girl, Indian Outlaw, or Down on the Farm? This pop infused pile of shit made me cry for everyone that wears boots and has ever kicked a little shit. The death metal that was played featuring Tim Allen was pretty fucking awesome. There’s a new Death!Death!Die! song, and it’s free! Get it here! It’s awesome. OK, here is the correct link. Did you fall for it again? HAHAHA, okay of reals now, http://deathdeathdie.bandcamp.com.

It turns out that cats carry the parasite that make women crazy, I just thought they were born with it. Skin was in the studio today talking about hand jobs, lesbians, strap-ons, live porn shoots, and pizza. Apparently she and some Brazilian chick with “ass for days” did a Cum Challenge on EllisMania.com and I missed it because I was at work and jacking off on the job site is frowned upon. Then there was final calls. They weren’t bad, could have been worse, like the time yer mum ate Mexican food for a week and then kept shitting so much that the donkey wouldn’t even fuck her, OH!

Yo quiero tu madre?

 

Deception and lies – 7/2-3/12

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For a show that prides itself on honesty, there was a disturbing amount of evasiveness so far this week.

Monday – 7/2/12

Jason and crew come on to discuss having one of their bits stolen, apparently involving “voice altermacation”. After over 30min of discussion, including going off on a tangent on bands and sampling music, they wouldn’t go into specifics.


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So what was that all about? Let’s listen to a clip from The Covino & Rich Show from earlier in the day.

Download (link to MP3)

Tuesday – 7/3/12

Again, Jason and crew open the show to discuss a bizarre story involving a woman who was hitting on Jason and who also happens to be a girlfriend of “someone at the boxing gym”.


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So, who is this “someone”? This caller and most consistent listeners had a pretty good idea.

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Sounds like a cover up to me. How do I know? Let’s isolate one comment Jason made…

Download (link to MP3)

…now let’s rewind the clock to 6/14/12

Download (link to MP3)

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Duane Hare (@_Buggs_)

  1. Where do you live? Cal City, ca
  2. What is your occupation? Flight Test Engineer
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Grew up an air force brat, always wanted to work on planes and now I am. Married for 17 yrs with a 19 yr old daughter 16 yr old son
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since the Siriux XM merge
  5. How did you discover TJES? Friend has sirius overheard Faction play NWA and Metallica back to back
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Mostly the humor. Tully’s sense of humor kills me. The guests and hearing Ellis’s stories. Mostly it’s the friendships that I have made because of the show keep me listening. Nice disfunctional little family we have developed, and it means a lot to me.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? See #6. With my daughters health challenges the last year and a half I have received so much support and love, words can’t describe. I am closer to the “strangers” in the fam than I am with most people on the planet. Hearing the stories and then reading Ellis’ book hit home.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I want to tongue dart each and everyone of you. #nohmo

Michael Rds Adams ‎(@tithas)

  1. Where do you live? Adelanto, CA
  2. What is your occupation? Quality Assurance Specialist for DOD
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. 9 year army veteran, combat veteran OIF III, married almost 10 years 2 kids
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? since 2007
  5. How did you discover TJES? I was a former Bam fan and liked faction heard this crazy fucker and never stopped listening
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? the show is fucking hilarious and speaks to most of my interest
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? not really It just entertains me to/from work
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? red dragons
If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/2/2012

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I know what you are all thinking, where is @bitPimps? Why isn’t he doing the re-caps? Let me tell you all something you probably didn’t know, @bitPimps is a Russian Spy. I was surprised also, but apparently he has been caught by the US Government and is being interrogated as we speak. So for the time being I will be bringing you the Jason Ellis Show re-caps. Somebody fucked with the voice altemicationator and allegedly someone is possibly maybe ripping off The Ellis Show. I think that is cute that they think that this chow can be reproduced, you go ahead and try, but know this, we will crush you. The A6K is still having issues, this time with brakes and fire. So instead of going camping with the kids, Ellis and Katie took them to a kid friendly hotel with a big ass awesome pool with slides and shit. Ellis brought fifty for the kids, the sun block not the dog, and Fifty ran off, the dog not the sunblock, but he was found. I’m pretty sure Fifty never wore the fifty because that would be weird to put sunblock on a dog. And then there was talk about the X-Games. It went as so, bla bla bla X-Games, bla bla vert ramp, bla bla bla, Jamie Bestwick, bla bal hahahaha.

Ellis showed Josh his road rash ion his dick that he got from blue balling some girl and he was worried because it hasn’t gone away yet. As expected, the EllisFam came through and recommended some great products to try out for chaffed dick. Some of them were Bag Balm, Gold Bond, Butt Paste, Vagisil, WD-40, bacon grease. Come to think of it, only a few people were helpful, the rest have some really odd masturbation habits. It seems the Gold Bond worked best for Ellis, nothin better than a little powder on your hang low. Pitbull, the rapper not the dog, is going to the Walmart with the highest number of “likes” and currently the location in Kodiak Alaska is winning, so lets keep a good thing going.

Doing Things With Rawdog made a comeback today, and as always Doc Bangar didn’t fail to amaze. He was asked things like “What do you do in a power outage?” “How do you toss a salad?” “How do you light a barbeque?” and so on and so forth. The answers that were given were those that only a six year old could think up, given example, “How do you clean a catfish?” and his answer, “Why do you have to clean them? They’re already in water.” Go ahead, read that again. Its truly amazing. The Hardluck Kings made a custom guitar for Tully with the Wolfknives logo on it. And then there were final calls. The final calls were actually good, not the usual disappointment that we have come to expect, yer mum however, is the exact disappointment that we expect from a street walking STD wagon, OH!