Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/30/2012

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I guess today is the second best thing to Friday, but it sure beats the hell out of Monday. Do you know who the coolest successful Asian dude is? I can’t really think of one, there

Coolest dude ever!

are successful Asians, and there are, well, there are successful Asians. Off the top of my head I cannot think of any that are really that cool, someone that I would be stoked to hang with. Rawdog thinks the dude from the Hangover is cool but that’s because its Rawdog and his thinking is less than cool at times. This started todays show theme of coolness, whos cool, how to be cool, and whats cool. Heres a guide, it has pictures. And no I didn’t read it, I’m already the coolest mother fucker writing this re-cap right now! The coolest god would probably be Buddah, he probably smokes and knows where to get great food. The coolest dude is probably Johnny Depp because bitches want to get all up on his shit. And the coolest dudes on Twitter are probably @bitPimps and @Mike_in_Canada. BitMike2012!

Chris Humphries might have given his alleged big gay baby herpes to some alleged massive slut allegedly. He denies giving it to her which only means one thing, big gay baby has herpes allegedly. Some 100 year old dude backed through a bunch of people and kids and sparked the conversation of what we should do with our creepy smelly elders? Some of the ideas were to use them as a food source, use them for energy, put them into a demolition derby because they already fuck the shit out of their cars now, and get them all hopped up on some good shit and drop them into a war to “take one for the team.” But no matter what we should truly cherish our elders because with out them we wouldn’t know…..hmm, I got nothing. Carry on.

Aaliyah Love was in the studio today and she is a porn star who was apart of the 3000 frames per second shoot for Ellismania.com and so she gets to plug her shit and we all get to sit back and wait until she’s gone. But being a good sport here is what they talked about, porn, boobs, cam girl, shaving, boobs, putting things in, snowballing, squirting, masturbation, shit, shitting while masturbating, masturbating with shit, you know, the usual stuff.

There will be a Town Hall Question something something with Tony Hawk and SiriusXM sometime soon after the Ellis Show, you should check your local listings because I can’t find shit, and honestly I didn’t look very hard. But check it out! Will came in with his earth shattering observation that he believs that Sunday Morning Coming Down is one of the greatest songs ever. I listen to country and it’s a good song, but not one of the greatest, shame on you Will. Whats up with Pussy Riot? If you care click the link, fuck, I didn’t know who they were until now, and I still don’t give a shit but there you go, thats the kind of awesome dude I am. Vince Vaughn will bitch out if Jack Nicholson enters the room, Christopher Walken is probably a really awesome dude to chill with, and in case you didn’t know, Christopher Walken got his hair style from yer mum, after she dropped her pants, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

中 Cody D 中 (@Fuckasaurus_RDS)

  1. Where do you live? Texas
  2. What is your occupation? Professional Archaeologist
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Married to the lovely Amber D and we have three boxers. I am Jeep Wrangler and outdoor enthusiast. I am also a bit of a gaming and comic book nerd. I have a Red Dragons tattoo on my leg that I got in 2009 after I got my Master’s Degree. Hope to get a Wolfknives tattoo soon.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since 2008
  5. How did you discover TJES? Bought my new Jeep and was looking for a good punk rock station to listen to Bad Religion and found Ellis, haven’t changed the channel since.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Everything! The motivation and comedy Jason provides, the intellect and comedy Tully adds and the holy shit did Rawdawg just say or do that stupid shit, pretty much sums it up.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Jason has motivated me to be healthier and live a more active lifestyle to the fullest.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I am curious how many other EllisFam are Wrangler and boxer owners. There seems to be a lot according to my Instagram. Also RED DRAGONS and WOLFKNIVES4LIFE to the EllisFam! You all rule!

Will (@itswillbitches)

  1. Where do you live? Calgary, Alberta Canada
  2. What is your occupation? I drive a truck and deliver food and supplies to any food establishment of whom has an account with us. Some of our larger accounts include Tim Horton’s, Starbucks and A&W. I am a chef by trade and have worked in the hospitality industry all my life. As fun as it is to live like a rock star it’s not one that you can maintain for very long. If you have worked in the industry, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I love driving a truck because well, what guy doesn’t think large trucks are cool and this job is stress free compared to what I was accustomed.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I’m 31, single and ready to mingle. I like long walks on the beach, watching the sunset and spending quality time with your mom. She thinks I’m funny. I’ve adopted a healthy lifestyle and have lost over 50lbs. I enjoy watching sports and am a huge Seahawks fan. I also like to pretend that my truck is a light pink unicorn that I ride on roads of rainbows and the food that I deliver are cupcakes that it shits out.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? I have listened since the merge but only seriously listened since around the time of Ellismania 6.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I discovered the show just after the merge, so Ellismania 5. We were listening to Faction in the kitchen and the show came on. At that time I only knew it was a talk show so we would change the station almost immediately. Then one day we were too busy to change it and were forced to listen. As you can imagine we were surprised by what was being said and couldn’t stop laughing.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? I like to laugh so the hilarity that ensues keeps me coming back, that and the fact that all the tweets on my TL do not make sense otherwise.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? The show has impacted my life in several ways. I was always a big fan of the monologue that Jason would do at the beginning of the show about some epiphany he had about life or his family. At the time I was using several substances that would bring me to pure enlightenment in a spiritual sense so I could really relate to his story. That being said, the show has helped me to achieve enlightenment without the help of said substances and also is the reason for adopting a healthy lifestyle.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Follow me on twitter @itswillbitches and only pure awesomeness allowed.

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 8/29/2012

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I honestly have no idea what this is!

Why hello there friends, how are you this lovely afternoon? Please join me on this mystical and wondrous adventure through the lolly pop fields and licorice trees. There was a very very special guest on the show today. We got to visit with out bestist best friend ever, Tiger Ellis! The beginning of the show was a very G rated set up with a few news stories and then some fun and funny sound drops, YAY! There was a bit of discussion about baby poopies and how they sometimes make quite the mess. Steven Hawking would rather be without legs than an eagle because eagles have no romance in their life. Monkeys are really smart and heart burn free because they have Tums and Tiger was bullying Raw Dog because, well, that’s what happens to Man Boys. And if your a millionare oil tycoon, get a prenup, becasue all kinds of icky bad things can happen that are no fun at all.

Tiger is asleep, so lets move on with this fucking recap like a horny dude plowin through a bus full of barely legal cheerleaders! (Thank you Penthouse Forum) Its time for Ellis to

Role models – FUCK YEAH!!

read some fucking poetry while Josh drinks some green ass drink and let me tell you thefucking poem was so fucking fantastically fantastic that i couldn’t believe the fucking words I was hearing. Will had some shitty game that was from some pile of crap girls magazine that was supposed to tell them how to not be bitchy cunts like their mums but I’m pretty sure that the fucking magazine missed the damn point, especially the part thatdidn’t tell them that snitches get stitches, stupid bitches. Hey fuckers, if you cut yourself then get help, I don’t mean accidental I was juggling chainsaws cuts, but I feel bad so I cut myself cuts. Got it? Cuttings bad m’kay!

The baby dick cutting American Association of mutilating Pediatrics says that there are more benefits to circumcision than not. Whatever you decide, know this, it feels better, the dude on the radio said so, that makes it true. In today’s final calls we learned that bitches be crazy and shit all hatin’ on each other instead of going on epic cross country trips where they get to rail random dudes in different places and visit new pharmacy’s for penicillin and antibiotics and Plan B pills, Spice Radio is just a bunch of cock hungry whores that want to get on your balls and shoot jizz all over the fucking place, and if your not sure if you should get married or keep dick stabbing bitches then you probably aren’t ready to settle down.

Tiger woke back up, so I leave you with this my friend, where ever you are, what ever you are doing, remember someone loves you, and its probably yer mum, she loves you long time, OH! (This joke was rated G for all audiences).

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Tony Fisher (@spaseghost)

  1. Where do you live? Western colorado
  2. What is your occupation? Industrial electrician
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Alcoholic, sex addict. Trying to better myself, my life and be a better father and husband. Went through a real bad rough patch when my father committed suicide, he was my best friend and I had nobody else to confide in or help me out with all my problems.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since before rawdog started.
  5. How did you discover TJES? Scanning channels when driving between jobs and left it on faction. When I got back in I heard this guy screaming “cow fucka!”, and haven’t changed it since.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? I relate to some of Ellis issues and there is a lot of motivation and inspiration in the show for me. And it’s funny as all hell, a good break from the repetition of the music channels. When shit gets really bad in my life I know that if I call in he will tell me what’s up and not sugar coat stuff like some people do. He’s inspired so many and helped so many that I’m still amazed at how many different directions the show can go in.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How?
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

Scott Abel (@MaddTrippNz)

  1. Where do you live? Edmonton, Alberta
  2. What is your occupation? Earthworks Foreman
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I am a 30 year old father of a 2 year old girl and a 8 year old boy. Skater, snowboarder and Harley rider. On my second wife, with the first one for 7 years then married her on our 7th year, only to get cheated on after 6 months of marriage and a brand new house. The new wife saved my life, brought me outta the darkest place I have ever been, having to start from scratch at 25 financially, drugs and booze took over my life, if it wasn’t for her literally slapping the shit out of me and making me stop with the self pity BS I wouldn’t be here today, not to mention she gave me a baby girl which gave me and new light on life.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since Jason was calling out lame songs on faction
  5. How did you discover TJES? listening to faction
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? The honesty.! There is nothing more real, or honest on radio, or tv, long hours in a pickup in remote areas all day everyday.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Jasons life experiences, are very similar to mine, brought up by an abusive biker step father, drugs and alcohol were around me growing up everyday, fighting and partying were a normal thing growing up, listening to him tell the world made it easier to talk to my own family and friends about things that have happened during my childhood, and then my divorce, happened and hearing someone else go through the same pain, made life bearable.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Has been a loyal Red dragon supporter since I was 12 growing up in Vancouver, the boys of RDS were legends and hometown heros, loyal Ellisfam, and Wolfknife “Gretzky’s taint”, when I am not at your moms house I am listening to Jason Ellis.

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 8/28/2012

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This has nothing to do with anything, I just liked it.

Hi guys! Hi! Howdy-diddly-do? Sup? How are yuns? I hope you’re doing better than Lance “One Regal Ball” Armstrong. Is he banging the Olsen twins or something? I don’t even know. He might look good to the ladies and shit, but those ladies ain’t ever seen @rude_jude ballin’ all over the studio while in a k-hole. Speaking of studio, Ellis says it’s time the studio gets a makeover, he wants red carpet and black walls, looking like a photo developing room or some shit like that. Or maybe something else, he’s open to ideas. Being from Alaska, Katie’s pussy had permafrost until Ellis came along to warm up them fallopians. Ellis couldn’t finish the eat like Rawdog challenge yesterday, he skipped the KFC pot pie – which was probably a good thing or we might not be having a live show today.

I hope you’re happy with what you have done!

Dr. Drew stopped by the show today, he was there for an intervention for Rawdog and his eating habits. Rawdog got to hear how his life choices are making Ellis and Tully sad and that his eating habits are not only hurting him, they are hurting the people that love him as well. It was revealed that Rawdog had just seen his therapist a day or two previous to this encounter, and he actually spoke to his therapist about his eating habits and how it has been a topic recently! This is good news because the first step is admitting you have a problem. Rawdog feels like he’s being attacked, and his natural behavior is to not want to be told what to do. The more people are nagging him about his diet, the more he wants to do the exact opposite of what he knows he should be doing, eating healthier. This was actually a pretty involved segment with lots of little bits of information, but the gist is that Ellis is going to back off when it comes to calling out Rawdog for his diet, he will also make an effort to learn how to read more better (get it?) and Rawdog will make an effort to start changing his dietary habits.

Christmas. It’s not just for fucking a stranger in your house anymore!

Melody Jordan was on the show after Dr. Drew and a Danzig break, she’s a porn star who can do porn star things and Rawdog can’t help but to call Bigfoot, Bookfoot. That porn star chick? Her butthole has it’s own twitter, and the owner of that butthole talks a lot about shitting, her shit sewer, enemas, etc.She sounds like mommy’s little disgusting angel. Another porn star came in to join the intensely erotic “taking a shit” discussions, but I missed her name – her name isn’t important though, right? She really sold herself when she said she’s not very interesting, I assume when compared to a gutter slut talking about taking pictures of the shits she takes, you might be considered tame. But lady, let me tell you, I’d probably rather see your porn than the “butt mustard” girl’s porn.

Everything that’s been said about your mom? Yea, it’s all pretty much true.

Today was NMT and boy was it a treat! There was this band, they sucked. And then there was this other band, they blew. After that was another band, terrible. Then, another band, and then the terrorists won. Raccoons have bones in the peckers, and people make toothpicks out of those bones, ALL. THE. TIME. Our home girl @KimDultz called into the show, I think it was about her pussy and some kid related shit, and thanks to @CobraTits, you can listen to her call here. Sorry, I kinda didn’t hear because I was busy imagining her saying nice things about my wiener, can ya blame me? UPDATE: Consider this your notification, it has been decided that we’re replacing “Truck Yeah” with “Butt Yeah” until further notice. Thank you. And now something about your mother. As per usual, she was being her typical self, stupid and annoying. But I kinda felt bad for busting a nut right in her eye after she got done blowing me, so I asked her what was wrong. She said she had a yeast infection. I told her that now she knows what it’s like being with an irritating cunt. OH!