Show Re-Cap for Friday 6/5/2015

Welcome back, we’re live from the Onnit Academy with Aubrey and some other muscle dude. Well, WE aren’t there live but the show is. Ellis is a bit hungover from last nights rooftop party hosted by John in Houston so naturally it’s his fault. While they were talking about More Onnit stuff Ellis got fisted on air from the back but feels better now because that’s what they do at The Onnit Academy, they bring you pain so that you can feel good.

Greg Lutzka came into the Onnit Ellis Studio and to be honest I missed a bit of this interview, like who he is, what he does, but he mainly talked shit about Ellis getting married and fighting. Some other dude came in with Greg and then Ellis and Greg boxed a bit. I’m sure there was more that just that but why bother ourselves with the details.

Ken Block came in next talking about Ken Block stuff like racing and drifting and driving sideways and keeping the shiny side up. And Kit Cope also came in talking about whatever the fuck he wants today  because nobody is going to tell him otherwise. It was awesome. You should have listened. Sucks to be you.

After the break Ellis talked to the girls working out in the gym at the Onnit Academy. He totally didn’t talk about sex, asses, tits, looking hot, if they’re fucking, anal, being naked with each other, buttholes, or anything else that could be construed in any sexual way. It was super exciting. So exciting that it was the end of the show and the end of this recap. Hope you have a great weekend and don’t get AIDS.

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 6/3/2015

pay-attentionDid you know it is Wednesday? No, seriously, it is! And as soon as the fucking show starts, that’s when people need to come in my office and talk and call my phone – so missed the very start. Ellis has sick voice. Tully’s kid took mad dick pics of his dad. Missed more show because now someone wants to come to my office with a fucking “boo hoo, poor me” story. What the fuck is this shit? GO AWAY! Continue reading

Show Recap for Tuesday 6/2/2015

Holy crap, do you know what is awesome? I finally have use of a real actual fucking computer again and am not currently typing this on my iphone or from the baby’s ipad. That just straight up makes me happy!!!! Weeeeee!! An actual keyboard!!! Wooooo
!!!

anyway, I’m sure you really don’t care all that much about that, other than the fact that I don’t have autocorrect and have to remember to put in my own punctuation and all that shit…so let’s get right down to it. Did you know that the song from the intro, the intro that I call the ‘yeah, motherfucker hillbilly sounding intro’ is played in an Australian movie about Australian skinheads that went around beating up and killing Asian people? Why, neither did I, but Ellis knows that and was letting all of us lovely listeners in on the info. But, you know what? Ellis has been to that train station (I’m guessing some train station somewhere in Australia that was featured at some point in the movie) and he has definitely seen Asian people there, because Australia is like Canada when it comes to Asian people, but he has for sure never seen a skinhead there. You know where he did see skinheads? He saw them when he was on the bus and they almost beat him up and started shit with him because he had a shaved head because he was a skateboarder and that’s what all the cool skate dudes were doing at the time. Other than that though, nope, not a skinhead in sight at the train station.

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Show Re-Cap for Monday 6/1/2015

shit-everywhere

Blood and shit EVERYWHERE!

It’s June. Oh, don’t pretend like you know your months! Dingo is there, Jude is there, he’s sick, he’s on the couch and has something to tell us. He tried to get all caveman on a chick and she busts out with “hang on, I have to take my tampon out.” Jude’s like, “whatever, you got a 50/50 chance of me still banging you.” She was all like, “it’s my last day anyway.” which is the worst day. Shit looked like a crime scene, it was like Dexter’s kill room. And after they’re done, she was like, “oh, by the way, I’m also sick.” BIATCH! Continue reading