Holy crap, do you know what is awesome? I finally have use of a real actual fucking computer again and am not currently typing this on my iphone or from the baby’s ipad. That just straight up makes me happy!!!! Weeeeee!! An actual keyboard!!! Wooooo
anyway, I’m sure you really don’t care all that much about that, other than the fact that I don’t have autocorrect and have to remember to put in my own punctuation and all that shit…so let’s get right down to it. Did you know that the song from the intro, the intro that I call the ‘yeah, motherfucker hillbilly sounding intro’ is played in an Australian movie about Australian skinheads that went around beating up and killing Asian people? Why, neither did I, but Ellis knows that and was letting all of us lovely listeners in on the info. But, you know what? Ellis has been to that train station (I’m guessing some train station somewhere in Australia that was featured at some point in the movie) and he has definitely seen Asian people there, because Australia is like Canada when it comes to Asian people, but he has for sure never seen a skinhead there. You know where he did see skinheads? He saw them when he was on the bus and they almost beat him up and started shit with him because he had a shaved head because he was a skateboarder and that’s what all the cool skate dudes were doing at the time. Other than that though, nope, not a skinhead in sight at the train station.
Ellis is still rocking that whole shaved head look many years later because it just so totally works for him and he’s not a sheep baa-aaing along after everyone else anymore (not because his hair won’t grow in full luscious locks- not even one itty bit), except when it comes to his beard, because he kind of started growing a beard to be more like his favorite ‘Viking’ Viking- Ragnock. But whatever, man, cause his beard is chock full of character. Do you know why it’s a character filled beard? Tully would love to know and Ellis is quick to inform him that he has a white stripe in his beard, which he only noticed after someone took a picture of his face and posted it to instagram. Tully confirms for him that he does have a mtaching white stripe down the other side of his beard, and there you have it motherfuckers, character beard. Ellis makes a comment about maybe getting more face tattoos to add to the whole character thing, but even before Tully gets his full disagreement out Ellis says that he probably won’t be doing that, but maybe he will get one down under his jaw where you can’t really see it because of the beard. Although, that made me laugh in my head a bit, because he’d have to have that bit of his beard shaved off and man, what if that turned into some sort of weird trend?
Ellis does tell Tully that he is going to be getting a tattoo of Prince on his knee while he’s down in Texas.
Prince and Ellis have become buddies and are no longer enemies and Ellis doesn’t think he’s necessarily an evil cat anymore. Just a cat who likes to hang out in his Air Jordans box because being in that box makes him invisible in his little cat brain. Ellis says that he and Prince bro’d down pretty hard when Ellis was sick and now they bro down a bunch, because ellis knows that when he was sick Prince was doing his best to look after him. Besides, Prince is a whole hell of a lot better than that bitch kitty Caino who got spayed and now won’t stop eating and has become a fat bald cat, which is basically the most hideous thing that you can be as a cat.
They get back onto the subject of skinheads because Tully brings up that the skinheads seem to be losing their whole White Supremacist fight as we really don’t ever hear a whole hell of a lot from the White Supremacists and there’s people of every shade of the rainbow being successful and happy all over the place. Tully brings up the city of Ventura, which isn’t too far from LA where he likes to go with his Asian wife and half Asian baby and they stroll down the street and are left all the way alone. Which isn’t the biggest deal ever unless you consider that Ventura is home to one of the biggest White Supremacist organizations in the entire country. So yeah, they are flying super below the radar. Ellis thinks that maybe the White Power people are laying low on every culture (for now) except for like the Isis kind of countries and then Jude comes into the studio saying, “Did somebody say Jihad?” They get side-tracked from their White Power conversation for a while because Ellis feels the need to tell Jude that he spoke to his bosses bosses boss about getting Jude on Faction and he was told that ‘it was going to happen’ which Ellis actually thinks means that it is going to happen because Talent knows Talent and everyone needs to get on the Ellis train because I think he’s proved that he knows what the fuck he is doing when it comes to radio. Jude is happy that he may be coming over to Faction with Jason Ellis because the FoReally show is sadly coming to a close and he needs to be out and about doing new things. He’s a working man and he needs to keep on working. Boom.
But, then, getting back to White Supremacists…maybe the only place that they really are super active anymore is jail? Ellis thinks that they aren’t causing troube in the streets because they all got thrown in jail for doing dumb White Power type shit and that is where the conversation shifts. Jude is vehement about the fact that if he went to prison and it came down to being butt fucked or getting a swastika tattooed on his body then he would be rolling up his sleeves for some ink because he is not about to be sodomized to prove that he isn’t racist. Tully wonders if a person could even be considered a racist for basically getting forced to have a swastika tattooed on them, but someone on the interwebs @’s him and says that if you don’t get it covered up or removed once you get out of prison, then you sir, are a racist. But Jude sort of disagrees because maybe he would want to keep his swastika tattoo as a painful reminder of a terrible place that he was in and would never ever like to go back to. Then they all start talking about prison and does that much rape really go on and is there a way to not join a gang and also not get raped? There are a bunch of calls from listeners because apparently everyone who listens to the show has been to prison at some point in their life, and some of them for like 10 years and the answer is no, not really. If you go to prison and you don’t join a gang, you are more than likely going to be raped. The only possible ‘out’ is if you are able to deliver a beating to a well respected and/or feared inmate that’s good enough to make people want to leave you alone. Prison movies…you have gotten it right!!!
Back from the break they are talking about Floyd Mayweather and the woman that he allegedly pummeled with his big boxer-y hands and texts that he sent her trying to negotiate her into marriage. Ellis and Tully wonder why the hell he even wants to marry her at this point and why big dumb athletes like him ever want to get married in the first place rather then just fuck whatever stupid hot bitches want to hang out with them all of the time. And really…I don’t give a fuck about Floyd Mayweather. Zero Fucks. So…moving on.
CumTard comes into the studio with a collection of the current Billboard chart toppers in the genres of rock, pop, rap, country, and metal and it is basically a big collection of shit. Rock is not rock anymore. Not a single song that they played from the rock genre was a rock song. It was like….easy listening. The only reason that i think they dared to call it rock was that there were obvious actual musical instruments being played instead of weird synthesized computer music like the Pop genre. Tully was a crotchety old man about the whole thing and called it shit and said that he doesn’t think that there is such a thing as a real music lover anymore like there was when he and Ellis were growing up…it’s all just become music to ‘enhance the mood’ of the day. Music has become an auditory scented candle. And he is completely right about that. Everyone is so busy doing what they’re doing it’s like they don’t want to be distracted by anything that is potentially deep or thought provoking, so why would they listen to evocative music? Music is just background noise and the music from the Billboard Charts clearly illustrates that it is best kept in the background and played in elevators and The Gap.
Back from that break Fletcher from Pennywise is supposedly in the studio, but I don’t really know what happened because if i press any buttons on the SiriusXM app my whole listening experience is utterly fucked. If i don’t press pause or anything the entire four hours that I am listening it’s all fine and dandy, but if i have to press pause then I am most likely in for a shit storm. And guess what guys…I had to press pause today because I have a six year old and it’s kind of a miracle that I got like two and a half hours into the show before I had to press pause for the first time. When I finally was able to get the fucking thing working again and I cam back, Fletcher was telling a story about being at a party and getting in some sort of fight where we was literally throwing shit at people. Like, feces. And i was suddenly happy that I didn’t really know what was going on in the story. He was in there was someone else that I have no idea who he really was…but I think his name started with a J and apparently he likes to run away from bad situations which is great because it always gives Fletch a person to blame things on because “didn’t witnesses see a guy in a white hat running from the crashed vehicle?” I am kind of bummed out that I missed the whole interview since he is always great when he’s on the show talking about this fight, that fight, this AIDs guy sticking Pennywise Bass players with needles and laughing about it and whatnot…but I’m gonna try and re-listen on demand and fix up this part of the recap for you.
The show ended off with Ellis taking some calls from listeners, but not all that many because Tony Hawk is Live!!! And while it may be Faction With Jason Ellis, The Bird Man is the Man who got him into radio in the first place. #respect