Did you know it is Wednesday? No, seriously, it is! And as soon as the fucking show starts, that’s when people need to come in my office and talk and call my phone – so missed the very start. Ellis has sick voice. Tully’s kid took mad dick pics of his dad. Missed more show because now someone wants to come to my office with a fucking “boo hoo, poor me” story. What the fuck is this shit? GO AWAY! Continue reading
Holy crap, do you know what is awesome? I finally have use of a real actual fucking computer again and am not currently typing this on my iphone or from the baby’s ipad. That just straight up makes me happy!!!! Weeeeee!! An actual keyboard!!! Wooooo
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anyway, I’m sure you really don’t care all that much about that, other than the fact that I don’t have autocorrect and have to remember to put in my own punctuation and all that shit…so let’s get right down to it. Did you know that the song from the intro, the intro that I call the ‘yeah, motherfucker hillbilly sounding intro’ is played in an Australian movie about Australian skinheads that went around beating up and killing Asian people? Why, neither did I, but Ellis knows that and was letting all of us lovely listeners in on the info. But, you know what? Ellis has been to that train station (I’m guessing some train station somewhere in Australia that was featured at some point in the movie) and he has definitely seen Asian people there, because Australia is like Canada when it comes to Asian people, but he has for sure never seen a skinhead there. You know where he did see skinheads? He saw them when he was on the bus and they almost beat him up and started shit with him because he had a shaved head because he was a skateboarder and that’s what all the cool skate dudes were doing at the time. Other than that though, nope, not a skinhead in sight at the train station.
Blood and shit EVERYWHERE!
It’s June. Oh, don’t pretend like you know your months! Dingo is there, Jude is there, he’s sick, he’s on the couch and has something to tell us. He tried to get all caveman on a chick and she busts out with “hang on, I have to take my tampon out.” Jude’s like, “whatever, you got a 50/50 chance of me still banging you.” She was all like, “it’s my last day anyway.” which is the worst day. Shit looked like a crime scene, it was like Dexter’s kill room. And after they’re done, she was like, “oh, by the way, I’m also sick.” BIATCH! Continue reading
Holy shit it’s Friday already! I’ve been on vacation all week and forgot what day it was. Don’t you hate it when people say that? Ellis kicked off the show talking about kids and cell phones and how his daughter wants her own phone because her Hollywood spoiled shit fuck friends have one. J said no because he doesn’t think a third grader should have 
a phone and rightly so, they’re dumb enough already without one. Tully is going to his high school reunion, ummm, tomorrow? I wasn’t paying much attention but it’s gonna be a total sausage fest. That’s kinda what happens when you go to an all boys school. They chatted a bit about kids and TV and how it doesn’t suck watching TV with them so much when they get older. EM11 confirmations were announced, one famous dude might fight another famous dude, and some more names were suggested. Continue reading
Psst, hey kid….wanna buy some EllisMania? Go to the Hard Rock in Vegas on October 9th, walk-up to the first hooker you see, whip your dick out, and start doing the helicopter. Do it right, and you’ll end up with tickets to the mayhem that is EllisMania. Make sure you spin it counter-clockwise otherwise you’ll end up with tickets to Les Miserables and no one wants that. Continue reading