Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 9/3/2014

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Is he gonna mention… OH! HE DID! Doo-doot-dah-doo.

Welcome to Wednesday and welcome to this recap, bitPimps here filling in for your usual Wednesday host CrackerStacker6. He’s busy playing grown up with work stuff, so you’re stuck with me. Deal with it. Ellis might try some transinmental demonstrations, also known as transcendental meditation, which of course is also known as letting your cock do the feeling for you – literally. He also thinks he’s got 2 ingrown hairs above his dick from the waxing, making it look like a face down there. Katie tried to pop them shits and get the hair out and she also popped a pimple on Ellis’ back, because she’s a ride or die bitch. Tully’s got a wicked pimple on the back of his earlobe that he just can’t get. Ellis was on Dr. Drew’s show on HLN last night. They talked about War Machine and how some people are backing him beating up his ex-girlfriend because, trifling bitches be getting outta line. Then they talked about the recently leaked nude photos of celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, also known as “The Fappening”. I got a shout out for sending Ellis a tweet last night about the topic which spurred him to drop a sweet little mini-bomb on Drew’s show, it was pretty hilarious because it broke this bitches brain to the point she couldn’t even finish her sentence and the rest of the panel was left a bit speechless. Oh, live broadcast Friday from the Roosevelt, 15 girls gargling cum and spitting it into each other’s assholes! There’s a contest too, if you can get to Hollywood on Friday, you can be eligible to win your shot at being a part of this massive dick-ka-bob orgy fest, plus you could walk away with all kinds of free kick-ass shit. Hit up WolfknifeOfTheYear.com or MissWolfknives.com to enter and win!

Hollywood News time, Cee Lo Green is stupid and might be getting fucked in the buttocks for saying kind of getting convicted of rape and kind of saying it ain’t rape if the bitch is unconscious. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie got married! Did you just cum? Corey Feldman got divorced or something! Did you just cum again? Justin Bieber wrecked his ATV into someone’s minivan and got into a fight so now he’s in trouble again. Clean up your cum. As well all know, Suge Knight got shot the fuck up, maybe because he was going to be a rat and write a book about some dirty deeds done dirt cheap. Spray some Febreze, it still smells cummy. Chris Tucker owes back taxes for 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2008, and 2010 – for a grand total of $14M! Holy shit man. You just got knocked the fuck out lost your home and cars! The lead singer of Survivor died, ironically – Survivor, get it?

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George Washington definitely drank his own Kool-Aid.

A listener (Ryan) sent in an electric fly-swapper / bug zapper racket thing, so of course it had to be tested on Cumtard. Tully shocked Cumtard’s bare ass and flab-abs for awhile, it sounds like we might have a new torture device for the show. Then Wilson brought in his massive white meat, ham hock shins for a zapping on his bad knee. I don’t think it helped, but tomorrow will be the real indicator. Cumtard got another zap on his ear and saw God. World’s Greatest Wednesday, who in their own mind, believes themselves to be – at their peak – the world’s greatest person? Whether they are or not. Here are your top 10, in order:

  1. Kanye West
  2. Dan Bilzerian
  3. Genghis Khan
  4. William Shatner
  5. Kim Jong-un
  6. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  7. Steven Seagal
  8. Hulk Hogan
  9. Charlie Sheen
  10. Muhammad Ali
meme-will-smith

What’s on my face? I mean, besides a handsome smile?

Floridians have been put on alert by a fat, furry caterpillar that makes itself a home in the trees there. The catch? It’s covered in venom and will fuck your shit up quick, son. But enough about furry little caterpillars that will kill you, it’s time for What’s On My Face! Cumtard will be competing against Ellis, both will be wearing the “cone of shame” that dogs wear when they get their nuts clipped. Cumtard gets the first mystery item, which turned out to be honey. Ellis missed his guess, which turned out to be wet toilet paper. Cumtard scores his second point by guessing the next item, chewed up bubble gum. Ellis scores his first point by guessing a stick of butter. Cumtard guessed his next item pretty easily because Jetta cracked an egg on his forehead and dumped it into the cone of shame. Ellis managed to guess his next item, vaseline. I’m near pissing myself at this point between the egg and vaseline. Cumtard finally guessed his next item, it took him awhile, but he finally got it – a tampon. Ellis got his next item pretty quickly as it ran into his eye, it was yogurt. Cumtard can’t stop smelling cum and shit and now his next item is leaking into his eye as well, but he powered through and guess it, it was pork-n-beans. Ellis can’t stop guessing seriously dead meat, he’s losing composure on this one as Hotdog keeps smushing this thing into his face & head. He never regained composure and failed to guess the item, a raw chicken foot. Cumtard just got waterboarded so he guessed it pretty quickly, but was terrified as he almost drown. Ellis guessed his next item pretty quickly as well, probably from the stench & suction, it was an octopus tentacle. Cumtard heard the words you never want to hear for his next item, among the various “OH NO!” and “I don’t know where that one went” comments, he finally guessed it, meal worms. Ellis guessed his right way as it got a shock collar right to the face. Cumtard got his next item right away too, permanent marker being scribbled on his face. Ellis didn’t take long fo guess his last item either as it started to freak out on his face, it was a gecko. For those of you not keeping score, Cumtard won the contest. Recapping it just doesn’t do it justice, you should really go back and listen to the bit, it was pretty fucking hilarious.

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Food service workers. Fucking up your order since the beginning.

I don’t know if this proves there is no God, or it proves there is a God, but this Brazilian man was born with an upside down head and became a public speaker! Christ on bike, that image will fucking haunt you for the rest of your life, or at least for the rest of today. The man who shut down a kid’s lemonade stand is now under investigation, and not just for being a massive dickhead. Oh, by the way, check out Faction. Some of Ellis’ 2 hour pre and 2 hour post show music selections are starting to work their way into the mix! That pretty much wraps up the show and this recap. I hope you enjoyed yourself. And now, back to your regular scheduled programming.

Show Re-Cap for Monday 8/25/2014

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Don’t get it? It’s okay, it’s a joke from Foreally Show.

No Tully today – he’s not feeling well, so we’ve got Ellis, Dingo, & Christian James Hand. Maybe Katie later too. Some no talent kooks have moved the chairs, the camera, and whatever else they could, part of that whole sharing the studio thing built into the contract. At around age 8-9, that’s when kids start snooping through mom & dad’s shit and finding, weed, porn, pistols, lube, Christmas presents, and what have you. Supercross the Dragon vibes himself when he see’s his own reflection in the mirror, he’s a moron in the human world, but in the lizard world, he’s probably your average bloke. Dingo knows where Supercross’s dick is hidden, you may remember Dingo would cradle his dog’s balls because the dog liked it that way. Ellis has a new hand PG rated fuck you finger, he puts up his thumb & index finger as if to be saying this is how big your dick is. Ellis saw Chris Kattan at a liquor store. Oh, no. Ellis wasn’t there to shop for liquor, he was there to shop for flowers. Anyway, Ellis thought it was a dude that worked at the weed clinic where Ellis got his doobage, but turns out, nope, it was Kattan. Ellis said he looked like shit and couldn’t even bring himself to take video of him. Once and for all, is John Travolta gay? Gee. I don’t know. But who cares. Jake Ellenberger punched Ellis in the face for 4 or 5 rounds this weekend! Also, there’s cake in the studio!

News time will Ellis. A German man was evicted by his landlord because he persistently used a squeaky sex swing in his apartment, which frequently bothered his neighbors and caused many complaints. Suge Knight news, he got shot a bunch of times on Sunday evening at a Chris Brown party or some shit. Ken Block news, Ken Block got 2nd in a big race this weekend. And there ya go, Ken Block news. Moto news with Dingo, pee on Dungey, that loser! And now, time for a game, it’s You Sir, Are A Moron. From the green room, who would be your choice for navigator in a rally car? And here comes Dingo with his story about the one time he changed a flat tire in a rally race in the desert. Would you rather be a worried genius or a happy idiot? Based on your karma, you will come back re-created as what? Or as Dingo called it, “reincanarnated.” Pound for pound. Do you give up porn or weed for the rest the of your life? If you were at Heaven’s gate & God asked why he should let you in, what would you say? I missed a question or maybe 2 in there some where, but you’ll live.

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Am I qualified to report the news?

MMA News time. There were fights. People fought at these fights and some people won their fight and some people lost their fight. Cung Le’s face got rearranged by “I know where you can get a great steak” Bisping. Ben Henderson got knocked out in the first round. And there was more stuff, you can Google that shit. Street League news time. Nyjah Huston won everything like everyone predicted because he’s the “it” guy right now. More moto news time from moto correspondent Dingo. Ken Roczen won the 450 motocross championship and likes pissing on people while they’re taking a shit. All this makes perfect sense because he is German. The fuzz is investigating Steve-O for his prank stunt against SeaWorld, where he changed a highway sign to read “SeaWorld Sucks”. It only took 2 days to get up on the sign. Katie keeps sending Ellis photos of hot chicks during the show. Some dumb chick is suing some dumb show she was on because she was too dumb to realize what the dumb show was about. So dumb. More ALS challenge videos, some dude put Icy Hot in his pants, ate a pepper, and… ahhh fuck it. You’ve seen a million videos of this shit. Jetta is falling apart and we’re hearing it happen live, he edited out the main portion of the video Ellis wanted to share. Ellis is black, he loves fried chicken and he was *bah dah bah bah bah*, lovin’ it.

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No Tully makes R2-D2 sad.

Hey, you know that whole Suge Knight got shot story? Well it doesn’t end there, some chick got shot in the ass during that whole incident. Shoebox is trying to his best Tully impression by giving us news, but nobody is having it. And now it’s time for shock pictionary. Cumtard will be drawing while Katie & Dingo try to guess versus Jetta drawing while Ellis and Shoebox try to guess. Team Ellis was winning with a commanding lead until the end when Cumtard, Dingo, & Katie found some synergy and came back. The game devolved into a constant shocking of Cumtard & Jetta until both were left helpless and in the fetal position on the floor. Once the game was wrangled back in, Team Ellis had 20 seconds to guess 1 final drawing. It didn’t happen so Team Tard ended up winning the game. Last 10 minutes of the show, Greg Fitzsimmons stopped by to help close out the show and drop some knowledge on motocross, because he’s such a huge fan. He talked about his shows Monday night on Howard 101, his Prius driving skills, his kids soccer game, and his 1 hour special on Hulu. He was texting his wife about his 13-year-old son’s soccer game and eventually asks what she’s wearing. Turns out, it was his son doing the texting on his mother’s phone. Awkward. And there ya go. That’s the show for this Monday. There’s a good possibility that Tully might not be in tomorrow either, so prepare yourself for that. He will be back when he’s no longer sick. Good night, and good luck.

The Thrilla In Senim Silla

If you’re reading this, there’s no doubt you heard of Jude Angelini. You’re probably a fan of The Jason Ellis Show too. But are you a fan of the Foreally Show? How about a fan of Senim Silla or Binary Star? Well, if you’ve never heard of Ross (Senim Silla) or the Foreally Show, you should check it out. You’ll hear some familiar voices, and along with those familiar voices, you’re going to laugh and be entertained as Jude & Ross talk their way through pretty much any topic that might be on their minds at the moment. But what about the stuff they don’t talk about? Well, here is Ross to answer those questions.


Dad? Is that really you?

Dad? Is that really you?

How often have people on the street confused you with Darryl “DMC” McDaniels?
Not as often as I’d like. It’s a new one though. I get Will Smith semi regularly. Lenny Kravitz sometimes. It seems I’m pretty much interchangeable with every light-skin kat ever.


Jude recently mentioned to Jason Ellis that he’d like to have a show with you and Christian Hand on his new channel. Would you get Binary star back together to make a theme song for it?
Growing up a Hip Hop/Rap elitist, any kind of Rap used commercially, makes my skin crawl. To this day, I can’t stand seeing kats rap in commercials, tv, movies or even real-life most times. I think it’s because there’s such a thin line between good Rap and annoying-as-shit Rap. Anytime a kat recites a rhyme to me, it becomes a contestant for one of the worst experiences of my life. [And that’s including kats bussing my lyrics back to me]


When you’re teaching a young lady about hip-hop because you’re trying to get in her pants, do you ever just want to slap the bitch for not knowing the things you’re explaining to her?
I don’t use Hip Hop knowledge to get into drawls, it’s actually been proven to be the fastest
way to talk myself out of drawls. Because inevitably, some stupidity ensues that I feel like I have to correct. Not just for me but Hip Hop as a whole. Everything’s allgood until she says
“COMMON’s best album is ‘Like Water for Chocolate’ ” or “I think 2000’s Wu is better than 90’s Wu”


If you had to pick one fandom to exclusively be a part of for the rest of time (ie..never see a batman movie again if you go with The Hulk) which would it be and why?
That’s a damn good question. Can I choose all DC animated? I think I could live with just that. If not, and I have to choose one figure, I’d go with Batman. The batman universe is deep and out of all the comic book related offerings, it has been the most consistent on delivery. From all the animated series/movies to the live-action, dating back as far as the late 80’s.


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Jude’s taking a piss, let’s talk about Gene.

I never would have thought to ask anyone this until you guys started talking about him, but what the fuck is Gene Hackman up to?
Unfortunately, there’s no new news on the guy but I can tell you that he turned down the lead roles in Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Raiders of the Lost Ark.


Your “I’ll bury the body for you” friend. There’s not a Tom Cruise movie he doesn’t love. You terrified for your life or you wondering exactly how far his gay goes?
I don’t understand the question.


Now that you’ve met Michael Tully, how long do you think before you sleep with his wife? And why do you hate Tully so much?
Well the questions need to be asked & answered by every dude that wants me to fuck his
wife. Lotta “depends” in that. 1. What’s his wife look like? 2. (If 1 looks good) I’d have to check with my wife to see if she’s willing to lead him along while I have relations with his wife. 3. Will I be drinking? 3a. How much time & effort is she willing to put into erecting a whiskey-dick?

As for my hate for Tully, I can’t say that much exists. I haven’t spent a whole lotta time with the man. He sat in on the Foreally Show briefly and other than his love of grape-flavored juice boxes, I couldn’t tell you much. I guess he might hate the British.


What’s it like being a sellout race traitor? No, but seriously, what are your thoughts about when people dog on you when Jude drops N bombs?
Nobody has ever said anything to me about Jude’s use of the word “nigga” or “nigger” or any variation thereof. I think real Black issues dwarf Jude rapping along with his favorite songs. There’s a lotta things that have fucked up Black America but Jude & the word “Nigger” aren’t on that list. We, the human race, have to stop giving Jude & the word “Nigger” so much power.


You’ve become increasingly skilled at talking on the mic in a radio/podcast setting. When did you realize that you used to say “you know what I’m sayin'” excessively? Is there anything else you do that you want to work on?
After the show became more popular, we received a few emails clowning me about it and that was when I first became cognizant of it and began trying to work out of it. Next, I’m going to work on these “Rights”. I also have to increase my threshold for negative comments it seems. The feedback you get in this radio/podcast shit can be like YouTube comments at times. And the way I’m wired, I always gotta respond to these assholes. So I’m going to work on that.


If cooked to perfection and served with your choice of sauce, do you think you could eat 96 ounces of Lord Sear to have your picture on the wall and win a t-shirt?
No. Comment.


There is a dude on The Jason Ellis Show who does crazy stunts, eating gross stuff, getting tortured, ya know, regular shit. Could you please make the nastiest jail pie you can dream up for that dude? What would be your choice to really grime up a jail pie?
I’d feed him the kind of shit we’d eat in Oakland County Jail. We had this shit we called
“Cathead”. Which was basically like a food loaf. It had meat product, bread & maybe some
potatoes in it. They’d smother it in the grossest gravy & serve it with green beans or corn. So I’d take that, add some ramen noodles and mix it all together with generic brand cheese wiz. Just like Mother Love makes. PS: Mother Love is a 6’5″ muscle-bound monster dressed in cut-off state-blue shorts and a tight-ass t-shirt tied in a knot to expose his stomach.


What is your vision for the podcast in the future? Would you like it to become more frequent, as in a daily show, or are you happy with the one a week setup?
We’re talking about this right now. We’d both like to do more but know we have to build with our growth. So we’re always thinking of more ways to add value to the show for our listeners. Also in October, we’re launching the show with BitTorrent as one of their bundles and plan to do a number of different things with that.


How is that visual element for the show coming along? Did you take that camera out of the box yet? Or are you gonna sell it and put the money towards a real camera?
Hahhahaa…still in the box. It sits near the foot of my bed, so I have to step around it when
going to bed and when I wake up. I now hate it and everything that has to do with DSLR
photography.


How many grammatical and/or spelling errors did you find in these questions?
There was only the one about the friend and hiding dead bodies while watching Tom Cruise movies. I didn’t know wtf that was asking.

THE END


Thanks to Ross for being cool as fuck and doing this Q & A session with us even though he barely knows us or how stupid we are. If you haven’t heard the Foreally Show yet, you really should – it’s pretty fuckin’ hilarious and entertaining. Ross & Jude are childhood friends, it’s like sitting in on a bullshit session with your best friends.

Intros & Drops from EllisFam

Ellis is always looking for new intro’s, buttons, drops, etc. for the show. So we took it upon ourselves to make some more – good, bad, or otherwise. It’s always fun to make them even if they never see the light of day. Although, some actually have! Give them a listen!

This Week’s Trend: The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Everyone is doing it, it’s been going on for about 2 weeks now. Why aren’t you? Everyone is not only challenging their friends, but also trying to raise the game. You’re just going to do the bucket of ice water over your head? What about that, plus getting tazed? How about that, but after getting punched in the face by an MMA legend? There are all kinds of scenarios you can add to the mix, but that’s not the point. The point is Lou Gehrig’s Disease. That and The Jason Ellis Show. That’s what we’re trying to bring attention to here, a disease, and The Jason Ellis Show. Also, you could be really cool and donate to an ALS charity.

With that, I give you what’s been called “baseball’s Gettysburg Address”. Lou Gehrig’s speech to a sold-out crowd at Yankee Stadium. Only it’s not.