Tully’s Surprise Birthday Idol

Look. I don’t know if everyone is going to understand this, but holy fucking shit. This is hilarious. Tully really likes Morrissey. Probably started with The Smiths, but lets not get sidetracked. I mean, let’s face it, 80’s music had The Smiths and Morrissey written all over it. Morrissey is way too vein to make an appearance on the show, so naturally, they got the next best thing – which was Cumtard. And guess what? Motherfucker nailed it, kinda. Kevin did such an awesome job that I actually bothered to record and post the audio. Did he sound like Morrissey? Hell no. But his dedication and his English accent made the whole bit. It was fucking awesome. Shout out to you Cumtard, you were great during this bit.

Download (link to MP3)

Tully’s Surprise Birthday Stripper Is A Dud

That’s not typo. It was a total dud. I’m so glad Ellis asked if he was high, because lets face it, most strippers are. We’ve heard plenty of female stippers / porn stars on the show, but it’s more rare to hear from a male stripper. If you could call him that. He disgraced the male stripping profession along with Channing Tatum. Could he have allegedly been high on illicit drugs? Maybe. Clearly things went awry and in the end, Tully got taint-tickled with a water bottle, there was no male stripper cop, and there was a lot of confusion and un-comfortableness. Have a listen.

HATEBEAN With 1 New Track & 1 New Cover!

It’s all the rage. Everyone’s got a song they try with auto-tune. But only one man was brave enough to cover Cher’s song “Believe” using auto-tune and a speech jammer! I’m sure it won’t be long before this track is being played at the Special Olympics medal ceremonies. Then we get another original, extra crispy, HATEBEAN track. This time, no auto-tune and no speech jammer, for the purist HATEBEAN fans.


Need more HATEBEAN? We got more HATEBEAN!

Show Re-Cap For Friday 7/11/2014

Ever get the feeling that you’re not being told the truth? Well I hate to burst your bubble but everybody lies. Your mom lies, your boss lies, everybody lies. Except NYA and doctors, we tell you how it is straight up, unless you’re a hypochondriac, then we’re gonna lie our asses off to you just so your crazy ass leaves. Tully’s cat has AIDS, it’s cat AIDS not

Lack of kitty condoms is the leading cause of Feline AIDS. Thant and their love of kitty anal.

Lack of kitty condoms is the leading cause of Feline AIDS. Thant and their love of kitty anal.

people AIDS so I guess that’s not as bad. Maybe now he’ll wrap his little kitty schlong before trying to stick it in all the loose pussy out in the streets. It’s Tully’s birthday tomorrow/today/yesterday, depending on when I finally get this posted. For his birthday he got a pack of Doritos, a bottle of Johnny Walker Platinum and black, and a blow-job machine. Kevin tried the blow-job machine out for Tully and crammed his limp noodle dick into it while watching ass gape porn and said he could see how this could be awesome of he was hard. My only question was how could he not be hard with all those giant holes up on the screen, ohhh yeahhhh, ssssssss, just like that, look in de hole, mmmmm yeah.

They talked a whole lot about Jetta’s unintimidating beard but I wasn’t able to hear enough to tell you why it’s unintimidating but some how they decided that if a guy can’t grow a legit beard in three months then he can’t grow a real beard.

Grow a beard and buy a life jacket so you don't drown in all the pussy.

Grow a beard and buy a life jacket so you don’t drown in all the pussy.

In Aussie News, Aussies don’t give a fuck about Robin Thicke. During the break the guys hired a male stripper to dance for Tully but apparently this dude was high as balls and refused to swing his meat in front of the birthday boy. We have audio of the hired dong disaster. Christian came in with the new music of the month and some of it was really awesome (Mastadon) and some of it was really really bad (J Lo). And then there was Pantera live at some English concert remastered on vinyl. Christian wasn’t able to play any clips because there’s no turn table in the studio but they did play a YouTube video of the concert and it just shows how Pantera was THE most kick ass metal band to ever walk out on stage. Some may argue but they can just walk on home boy.

In Pot News Berkeley stores now have to give out 2% of their total sales to the poor and “homeless” for free. Moronissey stopped in to wish Tully a happy birthday and sang him a little song. After this massive superstar left they did an impersonation contest, much the same as Stupid Tits used to do, and soon it turned into Hotdog and Jetta impersonating someone as they act out the scenario of having their asshole sewn together so they can poop into each other. This was hilarious but not as funny as the first time I heard someone request to be pooped into, at least it was funny until I realized that yer mum was serious, OH!