Monthly Archives: February 2012

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/29/2012

Posted on by
2

CreepyToday is Cumtard’s last day and since Jason was going to be late, he let Cumtard open up the show. Tully and Rawdog gave him the silent treatment and just let him tread on his own, in the end he actually didn’t too terrible. He ended his segment by explaining his position, what he did and why he can’t stay anymore. All that has been explained on here before so I won’t go into that. They played all the buttons dealing with Cumtard since it is his last day and once he’s gone, so will be all his buttons.

Cumfat Off The PhonesThat chick that Ellis made cry yesterday? Yea, she was supposed to go on Rude Jude’s show yesterday after Ellis’ show, but she bailed. In the end it worked out great for Jude because now he’s getting a shot at hooking up with Jenna (the other girl from yesterday.) Let’s see, what else… There was a lot of talk about Chik-Fil-A / gay marriage / religion, that’s one of those infuriating topics with everyone having a different opinion and trying to convince you that their opinion is better than yours. Fuck that shit. If we even touch on this subject, this re-cap is turning into a fucking fiasco of a novel. So, I choose to move on.

Scrotum McBoner FartWorld’s Greatest Wednesday for today, in honor of Cumtard’s last day on the show is, World’s greatest thing Cumtard should do now that he doesn’t have a job. Apparently there was a dude on Facebook that wanted to pay him $5000 to spend the weekend with him so he can fuck and cuddle with him, the whole boyfriend experience. Ellis set off negotiating for Cumtard and the conclusion was to clean the guy’s apartment naked wearing only a hat, Cumtard jerks off, and then leaves, for $800 a week. Without further ado, here’s the list of ideas from fans in order of their placement:

  1. Sip It Slowly, CumtardFreeway clown
  2. Shark dentist
  3. Dildo tester
  4. Play keytar for Smoked Out Clit
  5. Loaded gun cleaner
  6. Manage a prison snack bar
  7. Call everyone who calls the show regularly to tell them to fuck off
  8. Pube artist
  9. Jerk off on peoples’ ex-girlfriend’s car
  10. Become a roadie for Black Dahlia Murder

Cumtard was clearly and admittedly sad to be leaving the show, but he does plan to come back every now and again just as a friend of the show. Hopefully Sirius will eventually find a full-time position in some capacity for him.

And viola! That’s the end of the re-cap. See? That wasn’t so hard, was it? I knew you’d pull through, you’re my little trooper! And now you’ll be swimming up to impregnate your mother! OH!

Cumtard’s 1st appearance (and Schumacher gets hired) – 3/14/11 (History)

Posted on by
Reply

Today was Kevin’s last day on the show and he’ll be missed. Let’s go back and listen to his 1st appearance on the show. Coincidentally, it also happened to be the day Schumacher got picked to be J.Ellis’s new personal assistant. Enjoy!


Download (link to MP3)

Bonus: For history’s sake, Kevin’s 1st day was March 9th, 2011

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 2/28/2012

Posted on by
3

Is anyone even reading this garbage or just me? Okay, good. Let’s see what Rude Judesday had in store for us. Well for one, Rude Jude worked as a bathroom attendant at a gay bar for awhile to save up money to get out to LA. He also said he’s up for going to EllisMania 8, that would be pretty fucking sweet for the fans.

Rawdog Cool As IceRawdog turned a bit more gangster today, because he drinks a lot of water and that’s gangster, bitches. Rawdog was also in rare “I got game” form today, slightly hitting on some Penthouse sluts and just talking with more confidence than usual. *Giggle Snort* Maybe yesterday’s speed-dating game resulted in a new found swagger. Things got a little awkward when Ellis started grilling this Emily chick, she was clearly not liking it and started to get emotional, which made everyone else enjoy it more. When a caller chimed in and said she should stop being such a cunt, she left the interview all mad and almost tripped out of the studio. BOOM! Awkward interview badge achieved.

And of course, it’s new music Tuesday. Arguably the biggest story there was that there is a new dub-step style remix of Death! Death! Die! out now, and thanks to @CobraTits, you can hear that right now. Before I forget for another entire week, you can download some of the tracks and make your mash-ups to send into the show. There was also talk about clean and dirty fuel sources used by the world’s population. Oddly though, no talk about how much your mother is used by the world’s population. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/27/2012

Posted on by
3

Silence of the RawdogIt’s fucking Monday and holy shit, everyone sure loves watching and talking about the god damned Oscars. Well fuck that shit, not here. Not in this dojo, motherfucker! More importantly, Rawdog lost his bet with Ellis and so now he must Silence of the Lambs himself (tuck wiener and balls in his ass) while holding an umbrella. Low-and-behold, Rumble McTumble did not disappoint, here is Ellis’ angle and here is Dingo’s shot. What a fucking legend that dude is.

There was some talk about grass today. No, not marijuana – but actual grass, like the kind that make lawns and golf courses. Specifically, is Kentucky bluegrass really blue or have a blue tinge to it? Survey says, who gives a rats ass. There was a speed dating contest today where Dan, Cumtard, and Rawdog have to pretend to be on a speed date with Ellis’ girlfriend (@UnderwearWolf). I’m just gonna come right out and say it, Dan didn’t seem to do too well, or at least not as good as one might think he would do. Next up was Cumtard, Katie seemed to slice and dice him up immediately, she was not into him in the least, asking if he lacked confidence and he sure as shit is. And lastly was Rawdog, he clearly did the best and he pretty much verbally banged her and then dumped her.

More new dates for EllisMania 8 have been proposed, June 2nd, June 16th, or June 23rd depending on which is better and it sounds like it might be June 23rd, unless of course that changes. Plus it’s Danzig’s birthday so that’s pretty gangster.

So there you have it, that’s all for today’s show. Next up, the show your mother performs in, “Fuck My Face In The Rest Area Bathroom” and a Q and A on how she manages to swallow so many loads. OH!

(Update 2/28/2012): I’m not sure how I forgot to use this chance to post this, but I did. Anyway, you should check out the video below, it’s from Greens Keepers and was inspired by The Silence of the Lambs.