Today is Cumtard’s last day and since Jason was going to be late, he let Cumtard open up the show. Tully and Rawdog gave him the silent treatment and just let him tread on his own, in the end he actually didn’t too terrible. He ended his segment by explaining his position, what he did and why he can’t stay anymore. All that has been explained on here before so I won’t go into that. They played all the buttons dealing with Cumtard since it is his last day and once he’s gone, so will be all his buttons.
That chick that Ellis made cry yesterday? Yea, she was supposed to go on Rude Jude’s show yesterday after Ellis’ show, but she bailed. In the end it worked out great for Jude because now he’s getting a shot at hooking up with Jenna (the other girl from yesterday.) Let’s see, what else… There was a lot of talk about Chik-Fil-A / gay marriage / religion, that’s one of those infuriating topics with everyone having a different opinion and trying to convince you that their opinion is better than yours. Fuck that shit. If we even touch on this subject, this re-cap is turning into a fucking fiasco of a novel. So, I choose to move on.
World’s Greatest Wednesday for today, in honor of Cumtard’s last day on the show is, World’s greatest thing Cumtard should do now that he doesn’t have a job. Apparently there was a dude on Facebook that wanted to pay him $5000 to spend the weekend with him so he can fuck and cuddle with him, the whole boyfriend experience. Ellis set off negotiating for Cumtard and the conclusion was to clean the guy’s apartment naked wearing only a hat, Cumtard jerks off, and then leaves, for $800 a week. Without further ado, here’s the list of ideas from fans in order of their placement:
- Freeway clown
- Shark dentist
- Dildo tester
- Play keytar for Smoked Out Clit
- Loaded gun cleaner
- Manage a prison snack bar
- Call everyone who calls the show regularly to tell them to fuck off
- Pube artist
- Jerk off on peoples’ ex-girlfriend’s car
- Become a roadie for Black Dahlia Murder
Cumtard was clearly and admittedly sad to be leaving the show, but he does plan to come back every now and again just as a friend of the show. Hopefully Sirius will eventually find a full-time position in some capacity for him.
And viola! That’s the end of the re-cap. See? That wasn’t so hard, was it? I knew you’d pull through, you’re my little trooper! And now you’ll be swimming up to impregnate your mother! OH!