Show re-cap for Friday 5-3-2013

Its WGAFF and if you give a fuck then your out of the club! We’re the best and be proud of your self for being the best, except you there, your only second best. The guys started off by talking about how good their show is, and how shitty other shows are. It’s like getting rock-hard-power-creampunched in the mouth with silver teeth, having silver teeth sounds awesome, but not when they’re blasting through your face. It’s a perfect analogy.  Ellis’s movie of the day is Point Break, mainly because of the incredible acting by the Australian cop at the end, that dude should have won an Emmy mate! Then they started talking about  how to get rich, Ellis could either start adding commercials to his radio show or start a pyramid schemes or make a fake product like hair tonic and boner strengthened in one. Hairy boners may be a side effect. Ellis dreamed he dropped a N bomb on air or maybe just said niggy but that’s even worse according to Josh Adam Richmond anyway. Where is the line? Gay, fag, homo, fairy, fruity, pillow biting ass bandit? No matter what AIDS isn’t funny, and this message has been brought to you by Downzing. We here at NoYouAre go to great lengths not to offend anyone but if you are offended by something you have read or saw on our site please follow this link and write us so we may correct the issue. Oh, and in case you weren’t sure, it’s not cool to show your friends your dick or for your friends to show you their dick, unless that’s what your into, then you meat gazers have fun.

Tully read a story about ghost hunters and then gifted us with a little ghost story that he experienced from his childhood. Somewhere in the basement of his home there was

Have you seen Michael? I need to fuck up his printer again.

Have you seen Michael? I need to fuck up his printer again.

something that kept fucking up his word processor printer. Might be a ghost, might be magnets, how the fuck do they work anyway? Kengie The Killer came into the studio promoting his new book. He hung out for a while and just shot the shit with the guys. In Hollywood news, Lohan went in the Betty Ford Clinic, it’s still not where the judge wanted her to go but apparently it’s good enough to keep her out of jail. Then there was something about the Elmo dude. And just in time for Mothers Day, Kobe Bryant is suing him mom because she auctioned off a bunch of stuff he gave her and he says it was still his stuff.

In dumbass news, two pilots decided to leave a pair of stewardesses in charge and they couldn’t keep their fingers to themselves and kicked the plane off autopilot almost crashing the whole damn thing, can you guess the dumbasses? A few shows back Rawdog accused small tittly loving Ellis of not being able to handle a pair of massive mammies and to settle this challenge, Karla (@mzkarlaxoxo), Alia (@bestboobsinporn), and Tyadore (@matrixbabe) all came in for the best molester titty groping contest. They blindfolded each girl and one by one, pound for pound, they molested groped felt up caressed each woman. First up was Rawdog with a laughably embarrassing 12 year old boy technique. Alia gave him a crash course on mammary manipulation to prepare for the next two girls. Carla Lane was next and enjoyed the newly educated and ever gentle caress of Rawdog. In round three Ellis won with his more aggressive tweaking of Tyadore’s ta tas.
Apparently after the contest the second girl, Carla, mentioned to Ellis that she really liked the Tussin Wolf and Ellis Mate got her digits to slip to him. After hearing this the only thing I could think was, “aww shit, the dog better slap that ass and get a ticket for the hump bus to smash town!!!!” Speaking of getting laid, here’s the video of the Australian woman getting fucked at the gas pump. And now I present you with the Greatest Guitar Riff finally, finally:
Voodoo Child WINNER
Sweet Child O Mine
Money For Nothing WINNER
South Of Heaven
And the greatest riff in the history of string benders is… Money For Nothing!
Its that guy, in case you see him at Walmart or Target or something.

Its that guy, in case you see him at Walmart or Target or something.

A 50 year old man was munching rug in the coat store, oh yeah. Actually he was on crystal meth and was eating carpet lint thinking its sparkles. Some family somewhere walks on all fours. Some kids got suspended for torquing, whatever the fuck that is, and Travis Pastrana got the pole this weekend, and he gets to start first in the NASCAR race, da dum tss! A beady eyed buddy from the north called in with a story of how he shit in a cat box. And speaking of Canada, they loosened the import regulations on mozzarella cheese and now pizza is cheaper, enjoy your new found freedom Canooks. Towards the end of the show, Rawdizzle was saying that he may not give Carla the sausage because he feels uncomfortable about her being a porn star and doesn’t just want to ram his rod into random box. Speaking of yer mum, congrats on her getting her website mentioned on the show today, must be a big boost for!

Show Re-cap for Friday 3/29/2013

You can get energy from nature, not solar, wind, fossil fuel, or killer tree energy but happy grass on your feet energy. As you know its Easter weekend and nothing says family and friends like talking about crucifixions. Nobody crucifies any more, not even those crazy terrorist fucks. Probably because it’s such a brutal and slow way to die, most died of jesussuffocation and exposure and tetanus from rusty unsteralized nails. Pendarvis is going to bring in some ghost hunters to try to convince Big Daddy Jase Cakes that ghosts are real by showing him their “best evidence.” This will be rather entertaining as Jason will most likely tell them that they are all fucktarded and might even make one of them cry. But with this topic the guys did think of a new show, a ghost hunting show but at the end after they don’t find shit, they just scare the shit out of Rawdog. But no matter how full of shit the ghost hunters are, Chris Angel is more full of shit than them all. Tully wants to learn the secrets of fortune tellers and psychics, mainly just to fuck with people. In Crystal Meth News, a 60 year old man was arrested for the distribution of meth for the 6th time and planned on using the money to open a sex shop, and did I mention that he’s a Catholic Pastor? Easter is Sunday, and EVERYTHING cool stops so people can get dressed up go to church and find colored eggs. Then they talked about Disneyland and how it’s a cool place except for the kids, and the lines, and the expense, and the characters that always try to molest you. But other than that it’s a lot of fun.
In Hollywood News, Lil Wayne is having seizures because he has epilepsy, not drug abuse wink wink nudge nudge. There was a huge party at Biebers house thrown by Little Twist, Justin’s friend that wrecked his Lambo. Lindsay Lohan took a ton of shit from wardrobe after guest appearing on Anger Management but claimed that she had a deal worked out with producers, bullshit. Cysco did the thong song in a sports bar, I would provide the link but be honest, nobody gives a shit. More Lohan news, she tried to avoid being photographed in Brazil by hiding under a table during some promotion job. In MMA News, the Diez camp is filing a complaint over the GSP fight claiming that the weigh ins weren’t correct and there was improper and suspicions drug screen issues.

Joanna Angel came into the studio today to play a sex question game. With every wrong answer,  Ellis delivers pain, and Josh delivers insults. Well, he’s trying to insult. Asphixia surprise-buttsex-giraffewas supposed to be here as well but she didn’t show so the master of pain, Dom sat in.  It was a rather hilarious game with answers such as, giraffes, 50 calories, seventeen hundred loads, and to look like a vagina. Then there was an Easter vs Passover duel of stupidity. Tully and Rawdog, with help of super hot Jew, Joanna, looked up facts about the holidays and tried to claim which one was the dumbest. After hermaphrodite rabbits, raining frogs, burning bushes, and peeps, it was concluded that Easter was better because horseradish sandwiches are just fucking gross.

Here are todays results of the Greatest Riff contest:

More Than A Feeling
Back In Black – Winner

Welcome To The Jungle
Highway To Hell – Winner

Back In Black – Winner
Highway To Hell

Walk This Way – Winner
Hells Bells

Life In The Fast Lane – Winner
Paradise City

Walk This Way – Winner
Life In The Fast Lane

Back In Black – Winner
Walk This Way

Final calls were lame as usual. A few people trying to vote on the greatest riff 30 minutes after it ended, the usual penis compliments, a few lame ass jokes, same ol shit. I hope you all have a happy Easter. My favorite memory of Easter was when all the eggs had been found except one. Everyone looked and looked but we couldn’t find it, we gave up figuring that the dog might have ate it or something. Well, a few weeks later yer mum came by again and had a most unusual stench. She said it started a couple days after Easter and she doesn’t know why. Well guess what, I found the last Easter Egg deep in yer mums basket, OH!easter-bunny