Tag Archives: Sharon Stone

Show Re-cap for Friday 3-15-2013

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Fuck You!  I don’t have to tell you shit man, I don’t have to tell you it’s Friday, and I certainly don’t have to just talk about The Jason Ellis Show.  In fact, Fuck That!  Its Dog Center mofo’s and joining our illustrious host Josh Rawdog Richmond is none other than Michael McTumble Tully (It’ll make sense later on) back from a two day aids-cation, which he “claims” to be over, uh huh!  Rawdog doesn’t really fucking care what Tully has to say cause he gets to push the buttons and sit in the big boy seat!  Tully did say he checked out some radio while out and the ‘Best Riffs’ was good clean radio fun!  Superdad is also shocked Purple Haze is now out of the pool of 64.  Tully also caught yesterdays no dick having proposition and got Rawdog started again, and just as he was about the marry a tranny, in walks our hero, our saviour, Young Wing.  Well I guess Rawdog didn’t get that memo, you know the one about checking with Ellis first before just going into Dog Center like that.  Turns out he didn’t get it, so in the end we all learned a valuable lesson today kids…..It’s Will’s fault, fucking Jizz Cult, who isn’t there today cause of his own aids-cation, which has officially been termed “Tully’s Shit Your Guts Out Disease”.  Just hope that shit don’t make it to the East Coast!  Anyways, Tiger kicked a ball into his face, and then he whipped his face off on Burger Ellis, and your Chad Reed’s poopie underwears!  How sweet would it be to take Tully’s new drug, which makes you feel just like a 3 year old, blissful as it may sound it does include temper tantrums?  How sweet would it be to think a Sperm Bank is the place you donate your load huh Rawdog?  From there it was just phone calls on fisting stories, the likes of which produced the creepiest of creepy.  One caller did remind Ellis how symmetrical and proportionate, not to mention aerodynamic, Ellismate’s penis is.  That and Tully needs to tell Ellis this same type of compliment more often, to which Tully jsut dodged big time, finally giving in with a mediocre “Nice Cock”.  Rawdog on the other hand does care for 6 pounds, and even suggested he get a Weenie Warmer for those colder nights!

Hope You Get Better Soon Will – Barry Damn!

UFC News is pretty fucking simple, its UFC 158 this weekend with Nick Diaz battling George St. Pierre, oh and GSP plays mind games with himself!  Grill Em All is this magical fucking place where these sweet add dudes make the baddest fucking burgers n sandwiches n all since like well never before.  They came on the show to toss out some eats for the gents to review, and to plug their shit – win/win!  Did you know Grill Em All is no longer just a truck driving around Cali, but rather a restaurant, with walls n a restroom n shit in the restroom n shit.  Crazy I know – Its also true they got some deal worked out with Metallica for the name n all, and Metallica has not eating there as of yet.  The dudes from Grill Em All did get to meet Lars one time, through Dave Grohl of course.  They also were invited to a party Metallica was having, but didn’t make it???  Whatever, these dudes brought food and its Friday so fuck off.  Ellis had the Behemoth which was fuckign awesome.  Rawdog had the Dee Snyder which was pretty fucking tasty.  Tully had the Bar Coastal, also excellent.  This place sounds delicious!  Weekends are crazy busy for the boys so it sounds like their move indoors is paying off handsomely.  The good folks at Grill Em All also extended the hook up to Rawdog to impress any date he may want to bring by, fucking cool man.  If your ever in California check these mutha fuckers out and enjoy!

Image from searching “Panda Porn”

Image from searching “Panda Sex”

Breaking News – Panda Porn works!  Its weird as fuck, but apparently all those years of shoving two teddy bears together has paid off.  Well its March, so what else could that mean?  Its Best Riff time everybody.  Today we were able to advance one more team to the Elite 8, this time from the ‘Alternative’ bracket.  I didn’t catch it song for song, but you get the idea:

 

#1 – “Superstitious” – Stevie Wonder WINNER

#16 – Some Radiohead song

 

#8 – No freaking clue

#9 – “In The Flesh” WINNER

 

#9 – “In The Flesh” WINNER

#1 – “Superstitious”

 

#13 – That Pixies song

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” – Primus WINNER

 

#12 – Violent Femmes

#5 – “Money For Nothing” – Dire Straits WINNER

 

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver”

#5 – “Money For Nothing WINNER (Triple Overtime)

 

#5 – “Money For Nothing” WINNER

#9 – “In The Flesh”

 

So the MTV song defeated Les Claypool’s strip club anthem in one of the toughest fought battles we’ve seen in year’s folks, only to move onto the Elite 8.  More to come on this when we, you, well really The Jason Ellis Show decides who has the Best Riff!

Say “Hi” Dom!

Hey you’ve met Dom, the new producer dude right?  He seems pretty cool so far, but as we all know that don’t mean shit until you get bitten by a snake, or shit on by one too that’ll do it.  Well, today is no better day to initiate Dom into the club and who better to bring in the muscle?  Reptile Outpost no doubt!  And how better to determine the punishment, the Wheel Of Doom no doubt.  And how to determine he Dom should face The Wheel, a simple little Q+A devised from #EllisFam tweets and Rawdog.  For those of you who wanna play along at home, I’ve left the questions at the end.  Now look, questions don’t mean shit here, all we care about is life and living it right!  Well man, Dom learned to live today and tomorrow the air will taste so good to him.  Cheese will probably never taste good to him as its almost as scary to him as getting bit by a snake or scorpion.  Well after the first two questions were wrong, and Dom suffered through both blue and cream cheese and near vomiting, we eliminated cheese from The Wheel and shit got heavy.  From there Dom pretty much feel apart really.  He pet a scorpion and then a bird eating spider with minor complaint, but when the giant cock roach came out Dom lost his cool and almost his lunch since those things apparently smell like shit.  Then it was put your hand in the box time for Dom.  The first go into the box Dom was lucky as he missed the dick and touched only the bottom of the box.  Then the snake was put in and Dom got another go, and another.  Let me tell you by this point Dom was freaking out, screaming with a pitch the likes of Frank Decaro, but the snake wouldn’t fucking bite him.  By then Ellis just had the Reptile Outpost dudes bring the snake out and try to bite Dom while his arm was extended but no dice.  Its almost as if there’s a direct link between stroke victims and snakes refusing to bite them, weird.  Anyways heres the Q+A for you to play along at home, along with Dom’s answer when incorrect (And the “Correct” answers are in the caption of the next picture, if you don’t get it then you are Fucktard Of The Week):

1.  What was Tully’s original nickname?  “McTumble”

2.  Who was 1st winner of Musical Chair Fight?  “Dingo”

3.  Whos the worst house sitter?  “Dingo”

4.  Who’s the king of all pouches?  “Raw Dog”

5.  Give another nickname for Rawdog?

6.  Who’s the original owner of Ellis’s Porsche?  “Benji Madden”

7.  Whats the jet ski tat on Ellis’s leg say?

8.  What’s the girls name who gave Rawdog a hand job?  “Sasha Grey”

9.  What is Tully’s kids nickname?  “Little Man”

10.  What is Ellis’s favorite Offspring song?

11.  Name a sex move Ellis has invented?  “The Mouth To Vagina”

12.  What is Dingo’s catch phrase?  “Really”

13.  Who’s the greatest toon to do coke with?  “Scooby Doo”

14. What’s the original name of Death! Death! Die!?

15.  What does “TFB” mean?  “Tumble McRumbleson”

16.  Who lives under the studio?  “Springs”

..and for those playing at home, Dom got 4 out of 16, I got 15 out of 16, how’d you do?

(1. Cow Fucker) (2. Butter Balls) (3. Jason Mayhem Miller) (4. Jason Ellis) (5. theres so many give yourself a point) (6. Thomas Haden Church) (7. Kawasaki or Kawaski) (8. I Don’t Remember) (9. Linsanity) (10. None of them) (11. Reverse Scorpion, Reverse Chicken Wing Ball, Reverse Motosaki) (12. Pound for Pound) (13. Skeletor) (14. Tony Hawk’s Taintstick) (15. Trust Fund Baby) (16. Bill The Scorpion)

How could I forget tonight is Tiger Box, the greatest event one man has ever planned.  There’s gonna be metal n whores n locusts n Rawdog may go too, tis fucking sick man!  But before the show can go on, Ellis needs to find his guitar tech/roadie, and this can only be done with a test of will n strength n fucktardedness.  So each intern was giving a task to complete, a task that may or may not be asked of a tech in a pinch.  Anal Gay Lewis had to go purchase rubbers, poke holes n ’em, and return as quickly as he could…..so Ellis can impregnate every lady there and make tons of shredding babies to carry the Riff on forever, duh!  Fruitler was giving a gun, that may or may not, ok was used for a murder and needed to be buried where no one could find it.  Both of them were to take pictures of the task for proof, and again return as quickly as they could, at least before the end of the fucking show right.  I kinda missed a lot from here to the end, Hollywood News was about Sharon Stone pissing off her maid, and Val Kilmer tweeting Tully about checking out his new play.  Well only 5 minutes of that shit and Anal Gay had returned.  Well he definitely was the fastest thats for sure, but a job must be done correctly or the clock has not stopped ticking young grasshopper.  Well, Anal Gay not only got regular sized condoms, he also decided it be best to take them out of the wrapper to poke the holes in them, and them slip them back into the ripped packaging.  As Tully, who so elegantly hosts the world renowned Woman Am I Right, put it “woman ain’t that fucking dumb dude”!  From here the show got very happy and stuff, cause it’s Devin’s birthday today.  Happy Birthday Devin, hope you have an awesome day!!!  Ellis worked it out so he could tell her Happy Birthday live on the radio, so everyone had to be super chill or else!  Well Ellis flexed his radio muscle for Snookie to hear, and no more than 10 seconds after he said bye does Josh drop “…shit man, Fuck!”  Fruitler had returned during all this, so lets see how he did.  Well he had a picture of the gun being buried, and buried too!  Well just to make sure he’s the guy, and to also quiet Anal Gay Lewis’s tears of frustration over losing this event, Fruitler was giving the same Impregnation mission, to which he poked the fucking holes into the wrapper – Boom!   Anal Gay just died after that, and in my humble opinion got very Bitch Chocolate like from there on out.  Anyways its Final Calls from there and you know we don’t give flying mother fucking fuck!  All we care about is being elbow deep in your grandma with one arm, fist deep in your dad’s ass with the other, knee deep in your mom’s vagina with a leg, and standing straight up on the other as to form the self proclaimed “Family Tree”, OH!

 

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/6/2013

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Wednesday is known as hump day, as its right in the middle of the work week. At work, you often have vending machines.  Sometimes, you just really need that zagnut bar, but it gets stuck…..and to those who die from vending machine accidents, today’s show is for you!  You dumb lucky fucks got a good one too, so lets roll.  Shout out to SuperCrossDragon and his bad ass cricket concentration camp.  Also shout out to magnets, fucking love those things however they work, and lets hope they do work to hold up the wolf knife banner which just fell down.  If your pants just fall down, and your iphone falls out yo pocket, just let your ass rip and record that shit fart – send it to I think ellisparodies@gmail.com but don’t quote me on that shit fart.  Ellis played a new one of his own to get us started, and Tully had a few that had been sent in including a sweet 20seconds from Brandon, and the guy who asked Kobe how is ass taste, literally!  Sorry to that one lady with the 28 G’s who wants Ellismania to be in June cause it can’t, but Rawdog mania is anytime you want, Hey Lady!  Titties like that will probably knock you out worse than that dude from Ultimate Fighter last night.  They’d probably make you cum like a mother fucker too, and microwave that shit like Rawdog did, but thats later in the show.

 

 

MyFreeCams.com get it up ya!  Ol’ Uncle Ellis got it up him, and watched some ladies get all kinds of shit up them, and all free too.  Well not really, you need tokens for some private shows, but some chics just go for it without tokens, i say fuck tokens!  Kinda creepy to hear Ellis Tully n Rawdizzle each watch chics on cam, and give us the play by play, but also kinda funny too.  They saw someone requesting a chic play with her belly button, some Amish Milf lady, and even got a Red Dragons in a room.  Ellis says its fun to watch n see bitches just get pissed and yell at their computers, and others pulling a dildo out their ass, sniffing it and deciding blowing it ain’t a reasonable option anymore.  The real questions is how much money can be made doing this shit?  Enough to possibly get Cumtard to become Camtard, and put the World’s Smartest Box to use for a true greater good.  Considering he called his mechanic while in the studio, and dropped a over 5-grand bill, he may be looking to more than just one website….so try out StreamMate.com or Chaturbate.com.  Also he could try to cum and microwave that shit like Rawdog did, of course thats later in the show.

 

Happy Birthday @AZ_RedDragon, and Will too I guess.

This Muthafucker here said he was Obama, tried to kidnap some kids, and got the shit beat out of him.  No its not Will Pendarvis III, but today is @AZ_RedDragon‘s birthday so shout out to yo sexy ass, #FullHomo!  Oh, its Will’s too but I only mention that cause it led to a game that got playeded by the fellas.  Yeah remember how last week ol Jizz Cult thought it be a good idea to put Cumtard and his hard earned money on the line……Win Will Pendarvis III’s Money.  If you don’t remember the game, it pits Will against a caller, and Tully asks a question.  Will writes his answer down, then the caller shouts their answer, and if he’s wrong plus the caller is right, Cold Jizz Cult Cash You Cunts (Album droppin’ this September)!  Look, I ain’t gonna sit here and write each question, cause honestly what the fuck dude.  I Will Pendarvis III tell you the tibia is known as the shiny shin bone, and made some dude $23 richer.  BJJ stands for Blow Job Jason, and to be correct it is Anderson “The Man” Silva who is a master of BJJ if you didn’t know!  Last year’s super bowl champs were in fact the Tamp Bay Lighting.  If you knew that, then I’m sure you knew Lebron James and Toby Bryant are two players from the Miami Heat.  And while no one got the quarter of a million dollar question, some dude did get the $4,300,000,000,000 Q when he recited the Green Lantern Oath, while Cumtard jerked it in a near by Green Room, coincidence – I think no you are!  I wonder if he microwaved that shit like Rawdog did, but can’t think about that now since thats later in the show.

 

Damn Right It’s Britney Bitch!

So Postal workers will still be going postal, but just not on Saturdays, and no link you can just look that shit up.  Remember when Rawdog almost went postal yesterday on salads, and Ellis almost went postal on him – you remember right?  Well they kissed n made out up n Rawdog got nuggets and lived happily ever after.  Remember that dude Sean, that doesn’t have a dick yet but wants one, and beat the shit out of Rawdog in EllisMania.  He stopped by the show with his chic to put some Hard Pussy On Your Ass.  But before he could do that, Ellis Tully and Rawdog had to play Name That Pussy.  If your interested in hearing about how the boxes  of say Sharon Stone, Pamela Anderson, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian or Kate Moss look, well fucking On Demand it Barry Damn It.  And if your really tweaked, make sure to listen for how Paris Hilton, Helen Hunt and Sasquatch Demi Moore.  Oh shit, and I almost forget, It’s Britney Bitch!  The game wasn’t all that riveting really, but it was a close one that came to the last question.  Rawdog n Tully got it right, Ellis got it wrong, so Hard Pussy On Ellis’s Ass and Rawdog microwaved his own cum, but thats not until later in the show.

 

Cover artwork for said album

Ok Ok it’s later in the show, so its time for Hard Pussy On Ellis’s Ass.  Turns out Sean just got a hormone shot, and had his Rock Hard Clit (Thats the band name for said album due out in September) was ready to go since he left the Dr’s office.  So he put it on Ellis has literally, and got a well deserved Red Dragons for his sportsmanship.  He also played a little What Do You Boys Think Of These This, but off Ellismania.com cameras and just out of the eye sight of Tully conveniently as well.  Breaking News – false alarm just good ol’ Hollywood News.  Bieber banged Rihanna while he banged Selena, but not at the same time which would have been Red Dragons Story Of The Week.  Remember Lil’ Kim, well not by this picture you won’t.  Remember Allen Iverson, yeah well apparently the bank don’t when his mortgage was due.  Remember Fergie, yeah me either but sounds like she’s pregnant.  Oh and Barney’s kid murder some dude too, and of course Rawdog microwaved his cum, but will get to that later later on in the show!

 

My Cum Pockets Never Look That Good

Don’t be stupid, be swimmingly…and check out this picture of I don’t fucking know what just check it out!  Also, check out Ellismania.com soon for the video shot today of Rawdog rolling his r’s, blinking with a shake weight all shock collared up!  Speaking of Rawdog, the manboy, the mythical fairy, the ledge – Dude fucking microwaved his cum.  Its later later in the show, so lets get to it.  Remember yesterday some dude called in, said his boy microwaved his own load, and gave it to a buddy in place of crystal meth for dude to snort?  Rawdog tried it, well not the snorting part, or at least he didn’t tell us that much.  He did tell us he did this while he “thought” his roommate was asleep.  He told us it does become a white residue passable for a powder after about 20 seconds in the microwave, so dude’s story checks out.  He said he used a plate, paper towels and he called it a recon mission.  He told us much much more, but you have to go back and listen for yourself to get the full MadDog experience.  And if your whining about replays, you can either get it On Demand, or trust me this will be in a Best Of real soon!  And if your whining about what the new Monopoly piece is, its your grandma doing a pterodactyl with Professor Money Bags, Hitler and Flip Rippington, OH!