Show Recap for Thursday 1/30/2014

Welcome to the show of increasingly pregnant pauses!!!! Also known as, The Jason Ellis Show. Why is it the show of increasingly pregnant pauses? You’ll find out soon…just keep on reading!!!

Ellis opens up the show talking about how sometimes he forgets to press buttons, but he also had an epiphany and connected with his daughter, Devin, all because he listened to her singing in the car. He realized that he could connect to her over her love of music, because he, too, loves music and knows a good bit about it, and he is totally willing to listen to pop music if that’s what his daughter listens to and that’s how they can connect. He talked about Devin singing in the car and how she was unafraid to sing A Capella to Rihanna for a solid 15 minutes, and that she did a great job of it. Ellis sings in the car a lot in front of her, but not really in front of anyone else, although he did used to sing in the car with Mummy to the tunes of Justin Timberlake and his first solo album because ‘Cry Me a River’ was good shit then and it’s still some good shit now. Breaking news (but not really) One Direction is a really bad pop group, and Ellis thinks it’s a stretch to even call them a boy band because there is not one redeeming quality of any of them that would make them a decent boy band. Just sayin. All this talk about pop music gets Ellis talking about American Idol. He watches American Idol now. This season the judges include J. Lo, Nicole Kidman’s Husband, and Harry Connick Jr and Katie says that they aren’t using Ryan Seacrest as much as they used to. Ellis likes American Idol because he thinks it’s amazing to see the talent that some of the people out there have, as well as the amount of crazy some people are who are really die hard convinced that they can sing. Ellis also thinks it’s funny because J. Lo doesn’t seem to know all that much about music, and she tends to say things that make the other guys want to call her a dumb bitch, but they can’t call her a dumb bitch because it’s J. Lo and the show is on Fox. Tully isn’t surprised that J. Lo isn’t all that knowledgeable about music because out of all of her talents, her musical ability lays at the bottom. Her being hot is her number one talent, if any of you out there were wondering, and yeah, she’s a better actress than she is a singer. Ellis likes Jennifer Lopez now more than he ever did before, especially since she has been ‘letting herself go’ and there’s more of a real person leaking through the cracks of her carefully tailored facade.

In other news…Ellis is pretty convinced that the new intern, whose name I believe is Adam, is actually an undercover spy working for another radio show sent to The Jason Ellis Show to secretly record and gather intel about what goes on behind the scenes. He also thinks that (probably) Adam is secretly infatuated with him based purely on how much he hates Ellis, because it is hard to hate someone that much without also being a little bit in love with them. Tully isn’t quite sure he agrees with Ellis about this, although he wishes that it were true, and just thinks that Probably Adam hates them, hates the show, and is spending his time texting his friends about the insane shit that the monkeys on the show are doing. But…it might be a good idea to check if Probably Adam is wearing a wire. Someone, quick! Go rip open the front of Probably Adam’s shirt and see if there’s a wire taped to his newly-shaven chest!!!!! There probably is since he’s Probably Adam. That’s my opinion at least. Why doesn’t Ellis check him for a wire? Because Probably Adam really is infatuated with him and he would get too excited, whip his dick out, and start jacking off right there since he has no qualms about masturbating in public as he has pics of himself masturbating in the shower with another dude on his Instagram. Allegedly. Tully hasn’t seen the pic, but Ellis has talked about it a few times. I’m a pretty big IG troll, but I haven’t checked out Probably Adam’s account yet, so I can’t confirm if this picture exists or not, and if it did at one point, Probably Adam probably has taken it down after it was broadcast on the radio. Because, you know, probably.

Back to talking about American Idol related things, for some reason…actually, the reason is that Tully keeps trying to ask a question about it and then Ellis starts talking about something else regarding American Idol instead (it was pretty funny how many times it happened), Ryan Seacrest is fat. At least in Ellis’ opinion. Also, he really isn’t all that talented. Tully describes him as operating at his maximum capacity- meaning that what you see is what you get and Ryan Seacrest will never throw anyone for a loop. Pop Stars most likely constantly interview with him because he is a safe bet and he has never met an envelope that he would like to push. Pushing is mean, guys. Don’t ever look to Ryan Seacrest to ask Britney Spears what the fuck was going through her mind when she shaved her head, or where the bodies of Rihanna’s murder victims are….those are questions that Ellis would ask, and stars like Spears and Rihanna would never be on TJES because their managers don’t want them being asked questions of that nature. Why? It might ruin their careers. Ellis and Tully agree that celebrities should be more honest and that the world would be a much better place is super famous people came clean about things and didn’t have questions that they aren’t ‘allowed’ to be asked. Society tends to put celebrities up on a pedestal and often try to imitate them, so if celebs were more honest about themselves and the things that they did/do/are going to do then so would the rest of the people around the world. Kumbaya-ddayadda.

After calling out Jetta for checking himself out in his reflection in the glass, Ellis talks about how he wants to play Sting Pong and he doesn’t understand why it’s so hard. Why is it so hard? Because Will told Cumtard that in order for Sting Pong to be done properly they would have to have advanced notice and spend $500 of their budget to get an engineer in and mic up the prize chamber. Ellis and Tully are curious as to why there has to be so much hubbub when they could just plug an extension cord into the microphones that they already have and…broadcast from the prize chamber. In fact, to demonstrate how easy that would be, Tully plugs an extension cord into a microphone and goes to ask Will why they can’t do what he is doing at that very moment and have their game of Sting Pong. Hahahahahahahahaha. Funny, right? Ummmmm…no. Not funny at all. At least according to Mr. Will Pendarvis. Will refuses to talk to Tully in the mic in the prize chamber and instead joins Ellis in the studio where they then get into an argument about this whole schmabibble. Like….a real argument. There is a lot of yelling, a lot of reading texts between Will and Cumtard, a lot of questioning what exactly is more ‘proper’ about Will’s way versus their way, and a lot of butt hurt feelings flying around the room, smacking people in the face, and calling them pussydicks, or something. This is the cause of all of the pregnant pauses, by the way, because the dark cloud that descends onto the studio due to what was supposed to be a little pokey-fun haha joking lasts for the rest of the broadcast. Now…I listened to this part of the show twice because the first time it made me feel super uncomfortable because it was like listening to my parents argue over something stupid and listening to it the second time around let me hear it all with a more objective ear…and yeah…I am that dedicated to trying to do a quality recap, guys, but what I gathered was that Will was trying to get across that his job is to be concerned about the sound quality of the broadcast and maybe he was concerned that the mics on extension cords wouldn’t provide as high quality a sound as ones that were set up by engineers (although they sounded fine on my end) but he got super defensive when Ellis accused him of throwing up roadblocks for the show since he states “I fight so hard to tear roadblocks down for this show”. He really didn’t want to explain to Tully why exactly his way of doing things was more proper compared to the Ellis/Tully ghetto extension cord mics, and sounded like he wanted to punch Tully in the face for his persistence in asking that question. Ellis did also get super defensive at one point when he perceived Will to be attacking his bit and that’s kind of the point when the yelling really really started. It all culminated in Will telling them to fuck off and he left the studio….and the building…not to be seen nor heard from again for the rest of the broadcast.

Pregnant pause.

Tully, Ellis, and Cumtard try and talk about what the fuck just happened and how what was supposed to be a tongue in cheek funny haha five minute bit turned into that load of fuck off assery, and Cumtard feels like the prize chamber is gonna be weird now because no one has ever seen Will that pissed off before. Ever. Calls are taken from callers and some people think Will is right and others think that he is wrong. Is Will having a bad day and bummed out about something else and this just rubbed him the wrong way? We may never know. No…lie…we’ll probably find out once Will has had a chance to cool down.

Back from the break it’s time for Hollywood News. What’s in the news? Oh, by the way, Hi Mike Jasper! Anyway…Steven Segal is in the news. No, he didn’t teach another UFC fighter the best front kick of all the front kicks anyone has ever front kicked, he isn’t in the news because he has gotten so fat that his face is eating his eyes…he’s BFFs with Vladimir Putin. That’s the guy in charge of Russia, in case you didn’t know. Why is this a big deal? Probably because no one in any actual position of power in the United States rubs elbows with Putin they way that Segal does and the Olympics are being held there this year. They hate gay people, so, who would want to be friends with them, anyway? But Segal did an interview with Huckabee about how awesome Russia is and how no one should be scared of terrorist attacks during the Olympics because Segal is also BFF’s with the Russian Anti-terrorist task force (and also probably trained them) and he says that they are on top of their game (thanks to him). Speaking of fat people, Rob Kardashian (aka, the least famous of all the Kardashians and also the only one that has been confirmed to have a dong) is in the news for being fat. Really though. It’s some sort of big deal that he’s rich and fat. He’s trying to lose weight and goes to the gym all of the time and there are pics of him leaving the gym and entering the gym and he’s all fat and stuff, which is a shame since he is rich and has the means to not be fat. I bet the fat Kardashian sister is pretty happy that he’s fat since now everyone talks about him being fat instead of talking about her being fat (she isn’t fat, at all, by the way). I don’t know why anyone cares that this guy is fat and I don’t know why this is considered news. Whatever. Lindsay Lohan is also in the news because someone allegedly stole half of her $75,000 fur coat. Fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch for having $75,000 to spend on a fucking coat. No further attention shall be afforded to that bitch from me for losing half of her third-world-feeding coat in a club cause she was probs all sorts of out of her face on drugs. In a sort of extension of Hollywood News, Tully and Ellis bring up Justin Bieber and say that everyone needs to get the fuck over it already. Agreed. Why the fuck should he be in the news for being a stupid teenager? Why are people wasting their time petitioning the White House to have him deported? Tully is right when he says that he is a product of what our society does to famous people. We love building them up and we fucking glory in their messy downfalls. He’s 19, he’s stupid, hopefully he gets some good advice, grows the fuck up, and becomes a productive member of society. Shaq is also in the news because he’s trying to keep his kids off of reality tv, which his ex wife is trying to get them on because she wants them to be on a reality show with her. Good for you, Shaq, kids shouldn’t be on reality tv.

Back from the break they were talking about something but I got distracted by BitPimps because he tweeted me to tell me that Jude gave me a shout out on PillMix and I was excited because…I have a crush on him. When my excitement died down Ellis was talking about fighting some chick in Sumo suits and Kit Cope taking it too far. But then, Tully finally got to ask his question about American Idol, which was, since American Idol has been around for so long are the people who win it now rejects from previous years? Mike Jasper says that yeah, they probably are, because he knows that when trying out for The Ultimate Fighter, there were people who had been there 3 or 4 times already trying out. So…American Idol is basically just like The Ultimate Fighter. At least, that’s what I took away from that. Tully asked Ellis if he watched Workaholics last night, and he did, and he says that it was so funny and he didn’t know that you could do the things that they do on tv. Ellis thinks that if The Jason Ellis Show wrote a television show it would be just like Workaholics, possibly funnier, especially now that he knows that you can do stuff like that on tv. Jasper asks why Ellis doesn’t get a television show like the Dish Network show and Tully asks Jasper why he just doesn’t go fight Chris Weidman on Long Island (hell yeah!!!!) and they’ll call the fight and put it on pay per view.

Next Jetta comes in to help the guys play a game of ‘This or That’ sent in by Betsy, involving the scenario if they were going to Mars to start a new civilization and they could only bring this or that which would they choose….the results are as follows:

  • Katie over Toilet Paper- cause Ellis uses baby wipes anyway you nasty dingleberry mother fuckers
  • Beatles Discography over Metallica’s Discography- cause you just have to bring The Beatles, man
  • Arnold Schwarzeneggar over Sly Stallon- cause Arnold made gyms main stream and Sly Stallone turns every woman he touches into a big pile
  • Chairs over pillows- cause shirts can be pillows and no one wants to stand all day
  • The Burger King King over Ronald McDonald- cause Ronald is basically a pedophile and murderer, the Hamburgler is a dick, and Grimace is fat
  • Gay Marriage over Chad Reed- cause Gay Rights are more important than any one man
  • The Bible over Shia Lebouf- because the Bible would help more people in the long run
  • White People over Mexicans- cause….White Power?
  • Porn over Vaporizers- cause yay porn
  • Condoms over Tacos- cause safe sex is more important than tacos, and you’ll still have fajitas
  • Shrooms over Ecstacy- cause shrooms do less damage to you
  • Blake Anderson over Dune Buggies -cause one type of car is not worth more than one human life
  • Baby Wipes over Deoderant- cause we already have no TP on Mars
  • UFC over Supercross -cause UFC, duh
  • Beer over Coffee -cause people would get too wasted on other, harder liquor
  • Neither Advil nor Baby Pictures -cause no one cares
  • Andy Dick over Steve Gutenburg- cause he would have a better reality show

There will probably be more of this game in the future, because Ellis needs more to work with on Mars than just a Beatles CD and baby wipes.

Back from the last break…Tully calls Ellis ‘Will’ and things get awkward again. There is more discussion about how they thought Will would laugh along with the rest of them, and how twitter and IG are agreeing with Will. Ellis is surprised with the hate they are getting and says that we don’t know what goes on and Tully says that 9 days out of 10 Will would have laughed along with the rest of them and they could have gotten on with the show. Wrapping up the show they talk about some news from around the world, and I missed a couple minutes of it because my app fucked up (wow, that’s 2 excuses for missed shit in one article, damn, I’m slipping) but when it kicked back in they were talking about a couple in England that after being married in the 70s got divorced in the 90s (and continuing to co-habitate) the guy found a younger chick and offered to let his ex wife to continue to live with them as a housekeeper. But, for some reason, she would rather have half of his 13 Million Pounds worth of Net Worth. In the Philippines, the police are in hot water for having a Wheel of Torture in their prison to punish prisoners with, but after Tully and Ellis review some of the ‘tortures’ they don’t seem that bad and TJES Wheel of Doom seems way worse. Wrapping up the show are, as always, final calls, which were truly abysmal tonight…lots of gibberish and gunfire…lots of death…but…not everyone can recap like us over here at NYA, after all. *pops collar*

Things we learned on TJES today:

There should be 4-6 bottles of water in the studio at the start of the show

Alpha Brain (by Onnit) has really improved Ellis’ memory and Jetta should take it

PhunckyTips are groundbreaking

Harry Connick Jr was in ID4 with Bill Pullman, Pullman is friends with the Hawk, and he’s the man

Ellis sang J. Lo’s song better than her, and that’s a fact

Will had a bad day

People in the UFC get 25 Grand if they refer to S. Segal as ‘Sensei’ (probably)

NBA players don’t have hot wives…they have hot girlfriends

Ellis wants to fight Shaq…and he would win

Ellis will be on the Radio tomorrow despite it being Howard Stern’s birthday, because Nick Swardson is already booked to be on the show and he hasn’t seen him since EM9

Mike Jasper would rather have Tacos than Condoms on Mars

If Tully thinks Ellis is right, then he’s right

If anyone was going to punch others today, it would have been Will

Ellis always smells his water because Will tried to poison him once

BitPimps is a cool dude

16 year olds have bad robbery ideas

Ellis is going to go home and punch Mike Jasper in the face

Go to

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 12/11/2013


BOOM! First paragraph and I’m killing it! Or not.

Welcome to Wednesday, welcome to this thing, and it is indeed a thing. Lets put you in the right mood before we start. First off, I’m willing to bet most of you reading this are not currently menstruating. How am I doing so far? Good. Secondly, I’m willing to bet most of you reading this are not currently married to Wilson. Am I right? Good. Finally, I’m willing to bet most of you reading this are not currently still reading this. I knew it! Okay, now we’re ready to begin. Ellis learned something new today, he be all like “oooooooohhh” instead of just being like “yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh” and that’s going to change the face of your face and the button bar’s face. Some caller said he rolled his car while listening to the show, a couple of tense moments as we didn’t hear from the caller – we all thought he was dead, but then a miracle happened! He remembered he called into the show and then he spoke! AMAZING! SCIENCE! WIENERS! Dingo’s not here today, but he kind of is because he knows what everybody is doing at all times. Tully went to have drinks last night with an old pal, after three drinks he began to question what the fuck he was doing – I call it having a good time. ~Kid Rock He doesn’t know what else to do when just hanging out. He refuses to meet anyone for a coffee after dark, which I fully agree with, that’s a negative Ghostrider. Tully might have also cracked a mystery puzzling the entire world, Ryan Seacrest may indeed be gay. Ellis had a meeting last night with a production company about TV shows, I assume TV shows he’ll never be given a chance to be in, even if they are his own. They talked about the idea of Ellis Mini-Moto Mania, mixed with a TUF style elimination set of rounds. So now that’s the show they’re going to pitch and Tully will now be a part of since he thought of the good part.


Sign language ain’t so hard.

You know Nelson Mandela died, right? Yeah, well, some dude pretending to use sign language during the memorial was there. Not doing anything even remotely close to sign language. This guy is basically going around trolling services with his fake sign language, and for that, I salute you Mr. Big Fat Phony Sign Languager Guy. Tully’s had enough being condemned to a chair by the man, he tested out his idea of pacing around the studio while talking. Manny Pacquiáo might be broke as shit, which would make sense because he’s a Filipino and as we all saw from that typhoon, the entire country lives in metal shacks. While waiting for some big wieners and some hot buns, they killed some time by handing out a few Wolfknives names to new members. To properly do this, Ellis joined Tully in pacing around the studio, which I supported by pacing around my office while writing this – thank you technology and legs and you too feet! Metallica became the first band in the history of the world to play on every continent on Earth, even Antarctica.


Wait. We’re talking about hot dogs?

Finally. WIENERS! Angie Stevenson, her sister, and one of her hot friends came in bearing gifts, the gift of wieners. She runs a wiener truck that makes the claim “The biggest wieners and the hottest buns” so we shall see if they live up to the hype. You may also remember her from the Taintstick video Apple Juice, or maybe you know her from her porn days as Angie Savage – you dirty little masturbator. Side note, Ellis has boinked Angie, allegedly of course. She says they’re trying to make it wholesome brand, which I suppose shaking your tits and ass at sixteen-year-old and overloading on the sexual innuendos could be considered wholesome. This is ‘MURICA, damn it! So without further tits ado, the guys had the wiener girls and wiener boy (Wilson) help make an intro for the show. It was a little painful to hear one of the chicks try to stammer out words, but Wilson’s bits really smoothed out the rough edges, especially his German gaping voice. Then we went to break so everyone could fill their wholes with some meaty wieners and relish in the deliciousness of a premium tube of meat by products.


Leaving the wiener bit behind.

We came back with some news about a drunk driver whose lawyer successfully got his client off. To something. I don’t know. Christian Hand is in studio, which makes sense because it gave him a chance to run into hot chicks. But he also has some Grammy nominations, none of which include Death! Death! Die! So who is up for a Grammy this year? I don’t fuckin’ care, go check it out for yourself, ya lazy fucker! I will tell you this though, it’s no wonder I don’t give a shit about the Grammy’s, because every track they played (with the except of a few) was fucking terrible. I don’t know why people listen to this shit, much less vote on it. Also, Tully has an inner eleven-year-old girl inside of him. Hey, some church members were actin’ a fool, if you can believe that. Who could play Ozzy in a movie about Ozzy / Black Sabbath? Mel Gibson? Glenn Danzig? Bert McCracken? Kelly Osbourne? Who knows.

An Australian fisherman was fishing, as you’d expect, he dropped his beer in the river, fished it out and drank it. Yeah, he got sick as fuck with a large mass of shit protruding from his stomach. He had surgery to have it removed, which left him with an even larger bulging stomach, so another surgery was done. Guess what? That bulging stomach shit came back, he had surgery again and it just keeps coming back. Ah, that’s a piss’a mate. Remember how Dingo was pissed off at that hack Beacher from Beacher’s Madhouse? Turns out he snubbed the Dings when Miley invited him into the club, the Dinger wasn’t allowed in, mate. That’s cause for war in La La Land. Black people are jealous of white people because tattoo colors show up better are us crackers. White people are jealous of black people because they’re better at damn near every sport and they just tend to look way cooler no matter what they’re wearing. Did you know Shoebox pulled a Church of Haden when he saved a man’s life, choking on a chicken bone, by giving him the Heimlich maneuver? Nobody knew, because hero’s don’t go around flaunting their heroics. Sounds like Death! Death! Die! playing at a club after the AVN’s might not happen because of shady motherfuckers who are all shady and shit, but nothing is 100% yet. And that, my friends, is today’s show and today’s wienercap. A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The horse accidentally runs into a few things, shits on the floor, and then leaves. OH!


What does my face look like when I cum?

Show Re-Cap for Monday 10/7/2013


With each visit, Sam Rubin is becoming more and more like Ed McMahon, but thinks he’s Johnny.

It’s Monday. So what. EllisMania 9 is the weekend. That’s what. God made a seem in your balls, it gives the illusion of 2 nice normal balls, even if you have 7 small balls. Chicks don’t really get how men don’t feel their balls moving around while walking, we’re just used to our balls. Katie and Andrea have become friends who talk to each other at soccer games, about how Ellis farts in his sleep. Ellis was on Loveline last night. Kardashian something or another. I don’t care. But why doesn’t Ellis get hired as a talk show host? He’ll even wear a wig, damn it! And the answer is, because God is a motherfucker. Ellis sparred a dude today who took his anger out on Ellis, but ended up apologizing for doing so. We heard some more audio from Ellis’ recent visit on KTLA, which ended up ushering in the first guest, fuckin Sam fuckin Rubin. He talked about how Ellis’ business manager plays Mahjong with Sam’s wife or some shit. Apparently Ellis’ business manager also managed Rick James, bitch. Sam also talked about how he’s starting to get a little concerned about his fight with Tera Patrick, which leaves me left wondering if he ever really sparred Bob Dylan or not. Funny enough, during the Kardashian discussion earlier, the guys were talking about how celebrities can’t host talk shows because they constantly end up steering the conversation back to be about themselves. And sure enough, that’s exactly what Sam kept doing at first, it always went back to be about him. I’m sure in life, he’s a real nice guy, he’s had Ellis on his show several times. I’m probably in the minority with my opinion of Sam, or maybe I’m just being a bitch, but he annoys me. Anyway, more power to him.


I’m fantasizing about one of the MMA chicks kicking Sam in the nuts.

Shit. A story about Lindsay Lohan with Sam still in studio. Again, he says he’s “happy to open the door for Ellis to let him charge through”, name dropped some names, and took credit for giving the world Ryan Seacrest, among others. What a modest fellow. Julianna Pena, from The Ultimate Fighter, and another fighter chick that didn’t make it into the house (Colleen Schneider), came onto the show. I assume Sam was the one who found her, trained her, and got her on to the show. They talked about fighting men, getting punched in the boobs, EllisMania 9, and types of guys they date. Sam is still stuck on boobs, worried he’s going to punch Tera in the boob and explode her implant. He kept ratcheting up the creep factor by constantly asking either of the girls to be his corner person during his fight. Ellis let both girls kick him at the same time, one on each leg and that turned out to be not such a good idea as they didn’t seem to hold back much. Julianna hit the punch-o-meter pad and scored a 60 on her first shot, which ended up being her best and may have put her on top of all females who have hit the pad. Ellis almost lost his composure after finding out that the girls do sometimes use their MMA during sex acts to control their partner. And then Ellis really lost his shit when he found out that Colleen had a bleeding box after a knee strike to her cookie during a fight.


Just waiting for Sam to leave.


YEAH! Sam’s gone!

A Brazilian man was murdered by weed. There was a roadblock and he made a run for it, then he crashed and the half ton load of that sticky icky crushed his ass. My only question is, did his friends then smoke him, making that the first stoner to ever fulfill the fantasy of having their friends smoke them when they die. This brought us to discussion about Tully and Rawdog watching The Boondock Saints over the weekend. Spoiler alert if you’ve been living under a fucking rock. Rawdog did not hate it, but he kept comparing it to Pulp Fiction in his head and felt it borrowed a lot from that film. Another thought he had was “holy shit, this is the most Irish movie ever” but liked the tone the movie was going for at first. He also liked that the director left it open for interpretation at the end as to whether the viewer was for or against the saints, which he was against as he thought they were just vigilante killers. This is where Tully disagreed, he thought the saints didn’t take their lives too seriously and knew they were getting lucky to be coming away unscathed and that they were just going around doing what they thought was right. He also thought the 5-story fall was pretty far-fetched because the guy didn’t die. And then there was the gay detective, Tully feels this movie must have been written by a homosexual because of how that whole dynamic played out. Turns out the guy that wrote the movie, Troy Duffy, ended up being a huge asshole to everyone once he sold the script of the movie and now he’s just a huge asshole with no friends. And that’s was where The Boondock Saints discussion ended.


If this recap blows, I blame Sam, fuckin’ Sam fuckin’ Rubin.

The quasi famous, drunken, feral pig in Australia known for steeling beer and fighting cows has died at the hands of a truck, leaving behind a pile of bacon bits. This led us into a round of brand new Wolfknives members being named – the highlight of which could very well have been the idea of having back acne made of gold. That or maybe the guy that said he was a doctor and record label owner. Or maybe it was when Rawdog said that fish don’t have teeth. Or maybe it was the cauliflower pussy joke Tully has been sitting on ever since Colleen talked about MMA on her box. I don’t know, you make the call. Katie came in today so she could take her turn after Tully, both doing their Onnit™ Look Good Naked challenge. Juilanna Pena was anxious to ask Katie how she felt when Ellis starts talking about an ugly chick, which doesn’t typically bother her because there’s usually some kind of creepy involved which is right in her wheelhouse, so-to-speak. After all, she know’s a dude with 3 balls, Buck Manley. But he has nothing on a real man with a real truck.

This finally brought us to the very first call of the show, which also preempted final calls and a possible twerk session featuring Rawdog’s allegedly flabby ass cheeks. The real highlight was a caller who wanted some hemorrhoid talk with 3 ladies in the room. This really put Ellis in the mood considering the in studio audience, but he handled it like a champ. Don’t forget about the EllisMania 9 PSA’s for all your information regarding the who’s, the what’s, the when’s, the why’s, etc. And since Sam was on for half the show, I had time to think about some of the more important issues facing the world and I think I’ve found one for you philanthropists out there. If Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS. OH!


HAHAAAA! Fuck you, fuckin’ Sam fuckin’ Rubin!