RIP Swinghouse

The Swinghouse, near Santa Monica Boulevard and La Brea Avenue in Los Angeles, where it all started. The place where Tony Hawk invited his crazy Australian friend to be on his show. The place where we got to know Jason Ellis, Cowfucker, Rawdog, Will, Streatch, Little Coffee Foot, Bentley, Assless Matt, Burt Backarack, Scott Green, Kevin Kraft, and many many others that have walked through those doors to make us laugh, cry, cringe, or cheer. The place where motivational speeches helped start our days and fart jokes and Women Am I Right kept us laughing through rush hour traffic. This is the ending of an era and the marking of a new, bigger, and better show. In honor of the past with anticipation to the future we asked some EllisFam what their favorite memories from The Jason Ellis Show are. Rest in peace Swinghouse.

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“Tully was gone & Ellis & Rawdog were both crying after fighting.” – @bitPimps

“drinking a can of warm blanco basura in the bathroom” – @emilyinSD

“Bill the Scorpion” – @NorthernGorilla

“[when Rawdog] casually petted that venomous snake” – @Dutch_RDS

“The LL Cool J interview and the timeless phrase, get these balls!” – @Az_RedDragon

“Nothing beats the in-studio moto burnout.” – @Wolfman812

“getting perved on by Wilson!” – @emilyinSDimage

“When Bill the Scorpion ruled the studio, may he rest in peace.” – @mike_in_canada

“When Mayhem almost burned it all down, and everyone had to get out.” – @Hispandrix

“When @RadioTFB blew @BentleytHill and of course when Bill the Scorpion escaped” – @NorthernGorilla

“Papa Fifty being in the studio. And the time he ran away and Ellis stopped the show to get him.” – @truckeryako

“The Dave Mustaine interview that made us all fall asleep and change the channel to Cavino and Rich only to turn it back because they suck ass” – @azkellie

“And there was the day they evacuated cause of some mystery gas” – @truckeryako

“Remember when Jason had mersa on his dick and they canceled the show & fumigated.” – @sharckchucker

“Squeaky Door, and Bathroom/Kitchen/Prize chamber” – @TwistedMetalFabimage (4)

“It was always funny when Rawdog came in to the studio so high he could barely talk. And dead video camera batteries” – @truckeryako

“All the times they started playing the Imperial Death March to call Wilson Pendarvis into the studio to give him shit” – @shit_toboggan

“The many times the studio had to be evacuated due to bugs/air pollutants.” – @Crackerstacker6

“The Assless Matt intro” – @shit_toboggan

“When Ellis asked Danzing if he lived in a castle” – @Az_RedDragon

“the time I wore a dress like a champ” – @mighty_boognishimage (1)

“That time Will tried out the CEO show and Ellis and Mayhem kicked in the door and took the show back” – @bwstrangler

“Bill the Scorpions brilliant escape for freedom and his alleged final resting place” – @bwstrangler

“Jager Beard announced Ellis’s 540 at 40 (though technically not at the Swinghouse)” – @Az_RedDragon

“the Shock Lobster and Shocktapede!” – @matmonsterk

“When Scotty from NY and Oxycotton John got sober and stayed sober” – @Az_RedDragon

“remember that time mayhem set off a fire that choked everyone… #RIPSwingHouse ah, good times.” – @sharkchucker

“the war with bubba the love sponge” – @azkellie

“telling @EllisMate the story of how my adopted newborn ended up named Ellis Lee after 1 1/2 [hours] on hold” – @serutti

“Steven Tyler crashing the place and hitting on Katie” – @CrackerStacker6

“The first real game I heard was the DeCock-a-lon, think thatll be my fav” – @thegooser

“the Iliza Schesinger interview was epically awkward” – @CrackerStacker6

“burn outs from brian deegan in the studio” – @MotoSakiBabe

“cum challenge” – @serutti

“me wearing a strap-on spinning with my head on a bat then tryin to fuk covinos mouth” – @NorCalRowe

“that time they did the D!D!D! jam show with mastodon.” – @mighty_boognish

“When Sebastian Bach sang the intro to Monkey Business with Ellis” – @Az_RedDragon

“One of my favorite memories was the “Guess What Chonan said” game.” – @RickNothing


Show Re-cap for Friday 9/6/2013

There has been a question that has plagued scientists for decades, when Bruce Banner turned into The Incredible Hulk, why didn’t his pants rip? Did his waist not get bigger? Did the gamma roids have an incredible shrinking effect on his junk causing his intense anger? Either way it is safe to say that the show is the hulk, mild mannered until you piss it off then it turns big and green and breaks shit and then has to move to a new place while sad music plays. And a new place is exactly where the guys are going, today is the last broadcast they are doing from The Swinghouse. Ellis is very excited because the new studio will have underground parking so the Porsche won’t be getting dirty anymore. It will also have elevators, a cafe, a McDonald’s within walking distance for those emergency McNugget cravings, and a mother fuckin couch! Not only are the guys moving studios, home_main_shad4Juder McDuder is moving to the new building too! He isn’t as excited to move to the new studio in Hollywood because he thinks Hollywood is to uppity and his show is directed to alien believers and cousin fuckers. Jude likes all the perks of the new studio, he just doesn’t like the 10 mile commute. But on the bright side, no more toilet by the fridge. Oh and the new studio will have a sting pong table. Rawdog started carrying on about his chachkis and how much he loves them like an old lady at bingo. After he tried to argue with Ellis about some scarab beetle, his bell, and a little Lego koala, they somehow started talking about Mel Gibson and how he’s a dick but not a dick and some shit. Wanna know what Satan would sound like if he was in a quartet? Lamar Odom is reported to be doing 800 worth of drugs a day. He’s freebasing coke and taking ambient and still kicking ass on the court. All of this information is courtesy of his drug dealer, which goes to show that you just can’t trust drug dealers anymore.

Rawdog might have sold his car to a stranger who left him a note saying he wants to buy it as soon as possible. Sounds legit, except there wasn’t a For Sale sign on his car but I’m sure it’s totally legit and this dude won’t try to burn Josh, literally or figuratively. A dude sent

I want to buy your car. Lets have lunch an go over it.

I want to buy your car. Lets have lunch an go over it.

in a video saying he wants to donate his car to the guys to blow up and make music video’s with and so Josh can ghost ride the whip (video). Want to see yer mums wedding video? A Detroit woman tried to by monkey from Camaroon, she paid $350 mostly in monkey tax and never got her money and tried to get the police to help but they just laughed and laughed and laughed. Some nasty lady has the worlds longest dreads, and is nasty. Seattle woman broke into the Dim Sum King and told everybody there to go back to China and flung soy sauce all over the place. English woman had a stroke and now speaks with a Chinese accent. Here’s a video of yer mum again, on her honeymoon. And in more Women Am I Right news, a Chinese girl bot in trouble for breast feeding while driving a scooter, a woman sues General Mills because crunch berries aren’t real, and another woman sues Winnebago because the cruise control implied that it was an autopilot and she crashed.

Wesley Willis is a mother fuckin musical genius! Tiger has been skateboarding for one day and is already better than me. He’s bombing the driveway, doing side grabs, nose grabs, nose and tail grabs at the same time! “The kids a natural” said Tony Hawk and when asked about Tiger Lee Ellis, Kid Rock said, “That kid is kickin more ass than a one legged ass kicker, Kid Rock!” Ellismania may or may not be sold out, Ellis is 99% sure that it isn’t but that means only one thing, there is a 1% chance that if you didn’t get your ticket yet, you’re fucked. Here’s another delightful song from Wesley Willis. Enjoy.

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An English dudes daughter walked home after he dropped off at daycare, and all the daycare place had to say was pretty much, shit happens. In Aussie News, they played a video of Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Ausrailia, answer and dominate a gay marriage question from a pastor. There was also news of Saints player named Clinton Jones who set fire to a dwarf in a bar. Its funny, not because they lit the little guy on fire, but because they lit the little guy on fire. Ellis’s “agent” said he’s “in” next year on “dancing” with the “stars,” that should be interesting. In Hollywood News, jack Nicholas is old as fuck and can’t remember shit. Clint Eastwood got himself the D ticket on the Hump Bus to Pound Town. Bieber has come out of the closet and said how much he loves sucking man dicks. J-Lo got three million for singing to some evil Turkmen dude, in my opinion he overpaid. Vin Diesel’s life has been a constant barrage of aliens complicated by being legally blind. People paid 150 bucks to meet and get an autograph from Courtney Kardashian but nobody was available to kill them. Then they ended the final day in The Swinghouse by arguing and comparing the intelligence of the fans that pay to meet Courtney Kardashian or Dave Mustaine. If you ask me they’re all idiots. Today’s recap will be ended with another lyrically majestic tune from Wesley Willis that I dedicate to yer mum, OH!