If George Takei is on with Howard Stern, it’s a good bet Jason’s name is coming up. Here are the latest mentions.
THSS – 12/4/12
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Ellis and crew acknowledge that George keeps talking about Jason.
TJES – 12/4/12
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Bonus: J.Ellis meets George Takei on THSS – 4/6/11
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Tanning beds are starving for huge fake boobs and bleach blonde hair. And sluts, too.
But seriously, I don’t know what this huge red bump is on my balls? Are you there? HELLO!? Oh shit! Wrong window, sorry all. I was chatting with my umm, friend, for another friend. Anyway, it’s Monday and it’s time for the “Y’all motherfuckers need Jesus” re-cap! Is it Ellis’ fault that there are a lot of fake, big tits in porn? I don’t know, but I’m okay with it. Will Rawdog find his face? He’s trying his best at the decorating his face game, and it’s coming along, but he’s got some room to grow into his face. Back to titties. Titty talk brought Jude into the studio to explain that in his twenties, he was very anti-big boob bitches, until he started banging moms and you know mommy titties start to sag and get all pancaked, so they get some upgrades. Nobody likes to cartoonishly fake or bad tit-job jugs. Tully might have a thing for 12 year-olds, he’s okay with tiny booby buds, and is also very anti-fake tits, bleach blonde hair, etc. Speaking of chewed up titties thanks to having children, shout out to @Cullensaidthis and his wife for making a baby! Ellis saw Pendarvis was getting on some tail last night, and it wasn’t his mom, no, it was his son!
Hey son, wanna make out during this Slash jam session?
Will we be seeing voice activated cars? A resounding “fuck no” is the answer. Just look at how well Siri works. More importantly, Ellis has his new voice altermacation machine all hooked up and gave us some Kanye style speaking and other voice altering tests. That one chick from England who everyone things is… Royally hot (HA!) is pregnant, or so they say – it could just be gas. What if you were able to be the King of England? Would you walk around dressed as Ming the Merciless and eating cake? Of course, Rawdog finds issue with this and wonders just how cool would it really be to be the King and thinks he’d rather be Paris Hilton. Guess who else stopped by the show to talk tits and touring? That’s right, Slash. He’s got short term memory loss and sometimes forgets where he’s been and/or who he’s met, does this really surprise anyone? Slash says he likes moto and follows Ellis and his moto antics, he thinks it’s very entertaining. On a separate note, Slash has a motherfucking Vegas style nightclub inside his house, next to his motherfucking studio, inside his house. That’s the tits! In a bid to be Super Dad, Slash’s 1110-year-old son is into skating and isn’t really helping him by busting out the Slash name – his son wants to do it all on his own. Will came in to play a game with slash, “Can you guess who’s rider this is, based on the crazy requests & rules” and it bummed Slash out. Slash invited Ellis, Tully, & Rawdog over to his house / nightclub this weekend, and you’re not invited – so there.
Slash has porn in the background all time, either on screen or in person. You do not.
Hollywood news, the short and intense version, starts with Lindsay Lohan in trouble yet again, this time for not paying her taxes. Charlie Sheen gave her $100k to help pay off her shit, I’m guessing because she hooks him up with some killer nose candy. She’s also being sued by the Lifetime Network because she wasn’t supposed to drive or something and she drove anyway. Recycled recycling talk reared it’s ugly head on the show today when a caller chimed in to say, “recycling helps” to which Rawdog responded “nu-uh, Penn & Teller said it was bullshit” and there you have it folks, clear as mud and straight from the horses crotch region. That spurred a bunch of opinions from people all the way from LA to Sector Cumtard – but we don’t really care about any of that, do we? Of course not. In other news, on the hottest day of the summer, Barney the Boil Sucker was sitting at home when his phone rings. “Barney the Boil sucker” He says. A woman replies “I have a boil that needs sucking.” Barney says, what’s you address, I’ll be right over. He finally gets there in the 95 degree heat and when she answers the door Barney is greeted by a 425 pound woman who has broken out in a profuse sweat, wearing nothing but a stained up bed-sheet. She is huge, big as a truck, and smells of old dairy products and body odor. She tells Barney that the boil is on her taint, but being the professional that he is, he soldiers on. He starts wading through the layers of sweaty fat, pushing the layers back behind him until he at last comes to the boil. It is huge, red and is topped off by a white-head full of puss. He takes a few deep breaths and begins to suck on it. As he is sucking the puss by the mouthful the lady lets go a little fart, unable to control herself from the pain of the boil. Barney, incredulous, shoves his way out of the fat and hollers, “Hey Lady, what are you trying to do? Make me sick?” And that’s why Barney the Boiler Sucker has never again accepted a call from your mother. OH!
‘Darrell’ defends LL Cool J – 11/30/12
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If you haven’t heard the infamous LL Cool J interview live or on a ‘Best of’ replay you can find it on Youtube, but the caller did trigger an interesting question, ‘Has Jason ever fought with a guest?’.
The Iliza Shlesinger interview was mentioned. I’m not sure that it fully counts, it was more of a protest.
The one that stands out to me (and shoutout to @Ericmoore2 for the reminder!) is the Jose Mangin appearance after Riki Rachtman lost to Benji Madden at EM5. Hold on to your hats!
Jose Mangin in studio – 4/7/2010
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Tickle my taint its Thursday again so fuck short people. Oh, and fuck people with black hair or that drive PT cruisers. Fuck people that play golf or tennis, but baseball is cool. Its a perfect science as Ellis see’s it, but of course motto is better. Rawdog thinks baseball is complicated, like we didn’t know that shit. Ellis also fucked up Tully’s honeymoon. Not like that, nah Ellis and his obsession with shark attacks got into Tully’s head, and he and the misses were near an ocean. Its all good though since Ellismate is finally a man, well with his chest hairs he’s growing. Speaking of men, Rawdog said he couldn’t beat Steven Tyler in a fight, but he could take Mick Jagger, uh huh. Old people could take you and your life, cause they fucking suck at driving. Tully’s of the opinion that old fucks shouldn’t be allowed to drive during rush hour, and women should never drive, ever!!! To Rawdog’s joy, Ellis said elderly peoples should be restricted to auto-driving cars. Either way, they you and I should be as lucky as to realize when we’ve lost our shit. Tully then lost his shit on all races. Latin dancing sucks, Africans i mean really, Asians are just hyper white people, Indians stink with their incense and all, and Arabic music just sucks. And of course the Jews, well they’re just little “Doogie Arabs”, i mean Am I White?
Doesn’t his moves look similar to Rawdog in 100 years?
In STD News, a third of people aged 13 to 24 have not been AIDS tested, and 60% of those with AIDS don’t know it, and Rawdog’s going to be tested on the show, maybe. Ellismate’s flip flopping on A6K and what to do with it, either just give the fucking thing away to a deserving fan, or sell it to said fan, and give the money to Everlast to fight Cystic Fibrosis. Then Jizz Cult came into the room and You Sir, Are A Moron! Remember this game, Will tosses out a topic, and Ellis Tully and Rawdog state their opinions, blah blah blah your moms a moron. Some decent radio here, from gambling addiction and cops smoking weed to eating horse meat and taking a shit at work. Ellis and Rawdog did get into it about flying cars, and the floating lights they’d require for lanes. All three got into a good debate over if 100 dead heads could defeat 10 juggalos in a fight to the death. Of course when Sasquatch was brought up, Rawdog lost his cool and well you sir are a moron. Then we stumbled upon if its rape between animals, which wasn’t a topic, just came up in conversation as is usually does. Rawdog convinced Tully and Ellis its not, as an animal can not consent. In the end, this game was really only a ploy for Will to ask his real question, was bombing Hiroshima necessary? I don’t know Will, you tell me, whats up with the government?
Hollywood News time kids – Lindsay Lohan punched some bitches lights out in a NYC club, go girl! That whole deal with Precious losing all that weight from yesterdays show was total bullshit. In Sports News (what the fuck?), Michael Jordan has been banned for life from this country club in Miami for wearing cargo shorts. Brandon Marshall of the Da Bears says dudes be taking mad Viagra to get an edge during games. Rawdog said he’d like to see that, and would probably get a boner with a bunch of dudes jumping on his back, yup! Damian Lillard (Basketball dude) is scared shitless of statues. Meanwhile, Tully is a fucking tool and he knows it and is getting help. He named his kid a combination of the top baby name in 2012 (Aiden) and the name with the biggest increase from the previous year (Grey), but I can’t spell it so fuck off. Of course little Linsanity was not named after the 50 shades of shit book, nor some dude named Aiden (can’t think of any), so he’s not so bad I guess but still #fucktully!
Yo man your fucking creeping me out
Woman Am I Right? This bitch here done stabbed up her husband with duel blades cause he wouldn’t fuck her. This German bitch tried to suffocate her man with her tig ol’ bitties, which Rawdog was fucking amped on, redeeming himself slightly from the football comment earlier. This Florida bitch beat her man up, cause he won the Cum Challenge! And this bitch done gone and beat up her bitch cause she couldn’t find her detachable penis. Then something happened that is rare for the show, Rawdog called Tully out when he tried to run a story that was already done, the one that gave us the Rawdog drop “Someone’s going to suck my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat!” This other bitch tried to pull a tube out of her man’s chest, for meeting girls at the store. This bitch working a Dollar Tree beat some lady up for using too many coupons. And then there’s this bitch who’s best friend is a 378lb. tiger, so keep your eyes out for our follow up story on this lady real soon!!! Finally we got this bitch who’s showing her support for Movember, which is kinda cool, but not kinda hot.
In case you didn’t click that last link…..Movember!!!
Finally we got an update on that Lindsay Lohan story from earlier. HA, that was just some bad ass story of an anaconda vomiting your mom a cow. Back to Lohan, so the woman she hit was a fortune teller who approached Lindsay on some crazy shit. Lohan called her a fucking gypsy, like i said before go girl! Shout out to that Red Deer, Alberta strip club that was playing Kiss of Poseidon at 3 in the afternoon. Ellis and Tully told some dude to stop being a pussy and get his red wings, in the shower of course. And if that fails, just fuck her in a Bane mask. A bunch of other random shit in Final Calls, like ‘We Wish you a Red Dragons’ and horses do rape other horses! Also, Ellis is good at doing Rawdog doing him. Rawdog is much better at doing Ellis though, so much so that Jason’s thinking of taking a week in China, and letting Josh fill in as the sick cunt host. He may need to get a few tattoos, but the voice is spot on. Of course if tats go wrong, he can always just “Cover it up with your mom’s face covered in shit”, OH!