Whatever, its Wednesday, fuck off, suck a dick, a dead horse dick to be exact! I’m sure Rawdog’s having nightmares about that. Remember when Ellis had that dream about a yellow bracelet that he coveted to this day, yeah he fucking got it. Tully had a dream too, some crazy shit about doing the show in some resort area, with Reggie Jackson joining Ellis n Rawdog. Just before they went on the air, Rawdog just started vomiting, and Tully noticed it was dark outside making him think a Big Fucking Mega Storm was coming. Fucking weird dude! What else is weird, Gavin Rossdale is a huge fan of The Jason Ellis Show, says Ellis’s doctor. If your not sure who that dude is,
he’s the lead singer of Bush he’s married to Gwen Stefani. Radiohead is NOT grunge! Tully and Ellis took the liberty of schooling Rawdog on what is and isn’t “grunge”. Ellis was there to witness it firsthand and Rawdog wasn’t, so shut the fuck up. And just when you think Tully loves us as people, we find out he’s no longer donating blood to save our lives despite numerous calls from the Red Cross, so basically #fucktully! Kid Rock does really loves us all, and Mitt Romney, and hunting with Ted Nugent, talking shit on Howard Stern….I’m kinda not so sure feeling his love anymore. He also made his own beer company ‘Bad Ass Beer’, cause all the brewers in his town sold out to foreigners, helluva guy. Rawdog is a hell of a guy when he hasn’t had any nuggets to eat. Bush baby didn’t get to grab any before the show, so his tumbly was a bit rumbly, which posed the genius question, what would Rawdog do for some nuggets? We’ll get back to that later, for now lets focus on the facts. Fast food eaten consistently will lead to blockages in your arteries, has been linked to dementia, and Rawdog hates Dr. Drew!
Bean ain’t such a bad guy, as he has recently donated a kidney to a co-worker, but Ellis still wants to kick his ass. Speaking of kicking ass, the former owner of McAfee virus software has gone apeshit. From bathsalt consumption methodology perfection, to killing his neighbor and evading cops for almost a day buried in some sand, its a must read! Anyways, back to Rawdog and his love of nuggets. Welcome to the ‘Eat Like A Dog Nugget Challenge’ where two contestants get to walk on all fours, in pursuit of nuggets they must grab using only their mouths, and dip into a sauce and then devour. Todays challengers were Cumtard and of course Rawdog. Somehow Rawdog got an advantage as he only had 4 nuggets to Cumtard’s 6 but what the fuck ever. The game was over as quickly as a boys first time, with Rawdog winning, but only by the advantage he was giving. So this wasn’t a smash hit, we did find out @KevinCraftSucks hates onions like you and I hate old people, yeah! So get ready for next week, where the contestants will have to drink an onion flavored smoothie while potentially vomiting across the studio, Red Dragons!
The Vatican has intensified their hatred of gays and is willing to fight against gays all over the world. Meanwhile, if your of German descent, you are a killer by blood. This also applies if your say Italian, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, fuck man anything but Canadian really. Oh and be sure to follow @future41 on Instagram as he will now be tweeting naked pics with hashtags written on these
bitches nice ladies. Now that all the serious shit is out of the way, lets get to our returning guest, super stoner Doug Benson. He just came to shoot the shit really. Talked to Rawdog about his fast food denial, and they taked about masturbating and weightlifting (notice there is no comma separating the two), oh and of course movies since Doug has his own podcast about them. We heard some audio Cumtard had from one of Doug’s shows, and I quote “Will Pendarvis is a shit head”! Then we played another fun game, ‘Hollyweed Squares’. Doug and Rawdog were on a team verse Jason and Tully, and they had to guess whether the thing in question is a cartoon, or a strain of weed. Doug and the Dog whooped up on Ellis n Tully, and Doug knew a few of the strains of weed mentioned first hand, what a guy. Unfortunately he can’t make it to see The Reckoning in person, but like me will be checking it out on Ellismania.com I’m sure.
Hollywood News mutherfuckers! Bieber got another ticket pushing some sick Ferrari around West Hollywood. The Biebs also allegedly proposed to Selena Gomez, which she replied ‘Fuck Off’. Then Hollywood News got real for a second……real gay. Speaking of real gay, Joe Simpson is at it again, well his wife is since she’s changing her new book up to be more of a ‘tell all’. Some gay dude is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2012. Remember that song 19 years ago by Carmen Electra? Yeah well her new shit is just as unforgetful so enjoy! In That Totally Fucking Sucks News, Shane Carwin blew out his knee just a month before is next fight – I personally hope you get better soon dude! Final Calls was just about the usual shit, hot chics with tattoos, In This Moment doesn’t really exist, and if Linsanity says “vista” Tully will nut punch him off his feet. Oh, that and where would you spend your Holidays giving the choice? Maybe in the snow like Tully and Ellis, or in Mexico with Rawdog, and don’t forget about America’s Ice Box up north ‘ey. For me though, nothing beats roasting my nuts over your moms open mouth, begging for me to cum down her chimney, OH!