The Iliza Shlesinger interview – 2/7/12

Since J.Ellis nixed the morning replay from Stars Too, many fans did not get to hear this infamous interview. Here it is, unedited.


Download (link to MP3)


The explanation – 2/8/12

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Hard Hitting Questions

I know time is in very short supply for Ellis, Tully, and Rawdog, but I’m hoping they have enough time to field just a few questions. Let’s jump right in with the questions:

Ellis

  1. Say Sirius XM offered you everything you wanted, money, paid staff, your own channel, etc. How much longer would you do radio before deciding to retire?
    (Update 02/17/2012: During a phone call with Ken Block, he said maybe in 4 or 5 years. It’s not a direct answer to this question, but close counts I suppose.)
  2. All your recent life issues are over, everything is perfect. However, during sex you now cum out of your nose instead of your penis. Do you stop having sex or just put up with it?

Rawdog

  1. Ellis retires early and you still don’t have full access to your trust fund. What will you do for work?
  2. The power grid fails, no microwave, no restaurants, etc. What will you be eating during this tragic time? And no relying on other people, you have to feed yourself.

Tully

  1. How exactly did you start in radio? Were you an intern? Did Cullen get you hooked up with Sirius XM?
  2. You and your wife have adopted Rawdog. He finds a mysterious oriental skull that transforms you into Rawdog, and he into you – just like in the movie Vice Versa. Except there is no fixing it or going back. How do you handle this situation, do you just live with it, kill Rawdog (who is in your old body), or just punch Mark McGrath out of frustration?

If you are reading this, thank you for taking time from your day to do so.

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 2/7/2012

It’s Rude Judesday (@rude_jude) so he stopped by the show, as per usual it was pretty funny. He mentioned #WhitePeopleWednesday and #ThirdWorldThursday Twitter trends, which are/were hilarious. Jude went for some anime porn and got some of a black dog with a big ass dick going around fucking chicks and his doggy pecker got swollen and stuck inside a chick. Fuckin’ hell, Japanese people really know how to weird shit up. Dolphins have huge dicks and when they ejaculate, it can be dangerous. Ok, time to move on before we get people posting some dolphin fanfiction.

@DanOD5 has made tentative dinner plans with the hot Italian chick! He also met another chick in the motherfucking hot tub, this chick’s Austrian, which obviously means she could be into fecal play. I don’t get it, he’s here for a week and slaying bitches left and right but Rawdog (@RadioTFB) and Cumtard (@KevinKraftSucks) aren’t getting any play. This kid either has some serious game or a pile of roofies.

Iliza Shlesinger (@iliza) stopped by the show. She wasn’t funny (at least on today’s show) and she seemed to get upset / offended about a joke, which is weird because she’s supposed to be a comedian. I don’t know who this chick is or if she’s funny or not, but getting offended by jokes doesn’t bode well for someone in comedy. Ellis just went silent while Rawdog and Tully (@possiblytully) tried to keep navigating through the mine field of awkwardness that was her interview. If you didn’t like her, Dan Diablo said she left her powerbar on the couch in the green room – so you can laugh about that. If you liked her, Dan Diablo said she left her powerbar on the couch in the green room – so you can feel sorry for her about that.

Moving along, today was also New Music Tuesday and I know how much most of you absolutely love it! And since you do love it, I’m not gonna talk about it – so HAHAFUCKINGHA! Oh, alright. I can’t be a dick to you guys. Here’s a link to “I Fink You Freeky” by Die Antwoord. There was some new Van Halen, so you know, uh stay frosty? I was driving home from work and don’t remember the rest, so enough of that. Let’s keep moving along.

Talk eventually moved on to a popular topic that has been discussed before, and that’s prison rape. Is it okay or not? Is prison okay? Which crimes deserve prison rape, which crimes don’t? Obviously this is one of those types of discussions that has no real clear answer. It’s become one of those taboo discussions like God, Abortion, and Mac vs PC. So, I’m not getting into this – not because I don’t have an opinion or not because I don’t want you to know my opinion, but because this blog post will quickly turn into a fucking essay about 50 pages long – and let’s face it, you’re probably not even reading this far.

I’ll leave you with my parting thoughts:

  1. Do as I say, not as I do. Take that for what it’s worth. There could be a shit ton of wisdom in that, or none at all, it’s all what you make of it.
  2. Being vague doesn’t make you mysterious, but it does make me mysterious. I know it’s unfair, but life probably hates you.
  3. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. Life doesn’t hate you. It loves you, a lot. It caresses you, it kisses you, it gently humps your soul, and cums inside you. Basically, the opposite of pumping your face so hard you puke and then slamming it home in your asshole – which of course is how everyone treats your mother. OH!