Show Re-Cap for Monday 7/21/2014

Are you ready kids? I can’t hear you! Ohhh… Who lives in an office in Missouri? Thick dicked and funny is he. If recap nonsense is something you wish. Then moisten your panties and get ready to squish! You’re only as good as the company you keep, so stop being friends with shitty motherfuckers and start being friends with less shitty motherfuckers. Or don’t, whichever. I’m stupid crazy busy today so I’m going to bring back something I haven’t done since somewhere near the start of this site. The bullet point overview recap! I hope you enjoy it. Maybe it’ll bring back some nostalgia for you. Or maybe it’ll just be easier to read. Or maybe it’ll be more entertaining. Or maybe it won’t be any of those, I don’t know.


Did he just say bullet point overview? Yes. Yes, I did.

  • Jason believes in himself these days, he lost 2 friends and gained 1 new one and he’s cool with that.
  • Using the “I’m a dad now” excuse is great for dropping dead weight friends.
  • Tony Hawk knows what’s up, he says to just stop responding to people you don’t want to talk to anymore.
  • Dingo just does garage sales when he gets rid of friends.
  • Rob Dyrdek is / was a hustler and visionary. Jason used to be jealous of him, but not anymore, now he understands.
  • Jason took Katie & the kids out to a private club for breakfast and got shined. They told him they can’t serve him and his kind. But then they did because gosh darn it, that’d be wrong.
  • Dingo claims he’s been discriminated against because of the way he looks. Feminine but with scruff.
  • Tully claims he was discriminated against once because his food took awhile to get there. Don’t know they know who the hell he is!?
  • Mike Jasper got kneed in the dick on purpose and now has a swollen testicle. Note to self: Swollen Testicle sounds more metal than Swollen Members.
  • Ellis’ step-mom didn’t know he had a Porsche & now it sounds like she wants some of that paper Jason has.
  • There’s a magical piece of paper floating outside the studio building. “Sometimes, there’s so much beauty in the world – I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart is just going to cave in.”
  • Jason’s rocking the Under Armour undies, shirt, basically the entire outfit ensemble.
  • August 13, that’s when Ellis is allowed to get off the pills and train and shit, according to his doctor.
  • More cricket talk that only Jason, Dingo, a small sub-set of listeners can understand.
  • Dennis Bermudez is a guest today and he wants to race vehicles like Ellis does, he’s okay with crashing too. Ryan Parsons is there too.
  • That crazy, magical piece of paper is back.
  • Dennis & Ryan both hit the punch-pad, here are everyone’s results.
  • Check your tits and testicles, & send a birthday card to a very sick boy, Danny Nickerson.
  • Blistery nipple could be a shot, but it’s also an affliction (not the clothing retailer)
  • TJES was being played inside the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame today, allegedly, and nobody seems to know why.
  • Ellis & Dingo told us what some fairy tales are about.
  • Ireland is the best place for UFC fights, the fans are piss drunk, dying to see fights, love their dags, live in caravans, and survived a potato famine.
  • Tully’s hand has Viking disease.
  • Someone in Palestine is opening a real-life Krusty Krab restaurant. I doubt there are copyright laws there, so…yeah.
  • Ellis doesn’t care if someone Knights him, he just wants to be the best at something in his life (radio).
  • Ellis & Tully are indeed handsome radio guys, if you put radio guys on the end.
  • Ellis still hasn’t signed his new deal that guarantees he gets his own channel. He says he’s trying to do it as fast as he can because he’s coming to the end of his contract and doesn’t want to have to not be on-air for a few days for legal reasons.
  • Dingo is so loud all the time because he just had an epiphany and gave himself a brain boner.
  • There’s a big-ass turdle in my yard & I have no idea where he came from.
  • Your mom has flat, saggy, titties. Not your mom DanOD5, your mom has an exquisite set of tits.
  • OH!

Did he just call me a punk ass bitch!? Yes. Yes, I did.

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/25/2013


You’re a monster, Oscar, a monster!

It’s Monday, the day after the Oscars! Whose feeling fabulous?! Yeah, me neither. The only thing I hate more than Hollywood gossip has to be Hollywood award shows. But, you know it’s gotta be addressed – especially since you saw Rawdog tweeting his little furry butt off Sunday night during the awards. Actually, I think that’s the most he’s ever tweeted. If you’re looking for more Oscar Awards talk, you’re in the wrong fuckin’ place, sister. You better sit your gash down and hit some other shitty website. It’s Tiger’s birthday today, have you wished him a happy birthday yet? Shame on you! Smooth segway into today’s first guest on the show, Ding-o-mate, pound for pound the smartest guy raising his feet while driving past a graveyard. He ate a bunch of shit and woke up to spew chunks and then go back to sleep, like an Australian version of a Roman in the vomitorium. That probably doesn’t make any sense. Ellis is back in therapy, sounds like he had himself a session today to up his game and shit, he also watched some porn this morning – dude had a busy morning so far. Rawdog went out on a fourth date this weekend with some little hussy, they went to a comedy show, had a few drinks, and got himself a kiss on the cheek for his efforts. Tully got eye raped by some weird dude that was coming out of the bathroom at the zoo.


Thug mantis is ready to rumble, motherfucker.

Is pollution shrinking our cocks? Could this explain a Chinese man’s pecker? Or is this pure bullshit? I don’t know, my cock & balls are cool. Dennis Bermudez called into the show today after his fight over the weekend, which made fight of the night and is contention for fight of the year. He’s got 7 stitches over his left eye, his right eye is almost swollen shut, and the rest of his head is busted up – but, like a fuckin’ warrior, dude sounded great on the horn. Ronda Rousey ended up beating Liz Carmouche, and apparently people really want to hump on Rousey and everyone agrees that Cormouche kinda looks like butt chin Urijah Faber. Sounds like the UFC is considering a new clothing rule for women’s MMA after Rousey’s titty almost popped out on several occasions, which I’m amazed we haven’t seen someone’s ass cheeks yet. There was some speculation on how much MMA fighters are getting paid versus other athletes such as boxers, and why aren’t the fighters getting paid more. Generally, everyone seems to agree that these fighters aren’t getting paid what they should be, but everyone also things those numbers will go up as the sport grows.


Lindsay, find her pretty much anywhere.

Ace Frehley is losing his home to foreclosure while Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again – no, seriously. Ron Jeremy on the other hand has been cleared to go back to torturing vagina’s with his disgusting dong. Kanye West won’t let Kim Kardashian sign autographs anymore, I’m not so sure it’s him teaching her to keep part of her life private as much as he’s embarrassed to be seen with her extra thick bacon coat. He say’s he also won’t be appearing on her shitty show, and it sounds like Kim might not even come back for her own shitty show. The League of Extraordinary Kid Rapers Church is once again getting slammed right in the proverbial asshole over allegations of a super priest wanting to do gay things with other priests, making them the gayest anti-gays on the fucking planet. Time to completely dumb all your stupid people and stupid rules and get in on something where fucking children isn’t the main issue among your peers.


Your mom’s spit cup.

Speaking of dick, Andy Dick just joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars, word on the street is he’ll be FABULOUS! Some dumbshit was saying The Offspring was potentially going to tour with Metallica, and that dumbshit needs to burn in hell. Some dude called in to say his pussy son (his words) got in a fight at school and wanted to know how he could be proud of his little girl without condoning fighting. Your mom called in to get a “Sweater Puppies” name. Everyone knew she meant “Wolfknives”, she’s a woman so we expect a certain level of thinking. Instead of giving her a name, they asked her if she knew the difference between her hippie ass and a hockey player. Of course she didn’t, so they told her that a hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods. Naturally, she didn’t get it. So they asked her if she heard the one about the child with AIDs? It never gets old. She didn’t get the joke, but she did pull out a picture of your little brother and sobbed, so that was still pretty funny. OH!