Show recap for Friday 2/21/2014

Happy Chad Reed Day Eve! How will you be paying homage to the king of moto? I will be decorating the Chad Reed tree, making Chad Reed cookies, and tomorrow morning I will watch the kids open their Chad Reed gifts on Chad Reed morning while watching the A Chad Reed Story marathon. Today at the gym Ellis saw some nerdy white guy in nice clothes just hanging out, it was kinda odd until he realized that Usher was also in the gymtumblr_msxtrnFBJY1qhpc9fo1_500 and probably brought the white dude for moral support. Jason said his boxing skills weren’t terrible, not great, but he’s definitely getting lessons. Back to Chad Reed day, fun Chad Reed fact, he is half Abbo, half Austraian, and full blood badass. In today’s Olympic news the Canadian women’s hockey team won the gold. Congrats to Canada for having the toughest, biggest, roughest bunch of manly women on ice in the world. Also while on the subject of the Olympics, way to go Russia, hating the gays but having massive boners for their figure skating couples. Also while on the subject of Russia, Pussy Riot got shit whipped at a performance by the police.

We came back from the break with a sampling of the instant hits created by Hate Bean. I wouldn’t be surprised of Metallica’s next album has a cover of Weiner Gazer. Hate bean will also be performing at EM10, so that will be worth the tickets alone! The guys rambled on about Hollywood, expensive cars, Tully’s neighborhood, cartoons, and of course, Chad Reed. We heard a beautiful heart felt poem from Will, an original song created by Cumtard, some caller contributions, an awesome original production by Michael Tully, and a few email submissions. Chad Reed is an inspirational mother fucker.download (2)

Big weekend ahead, Supercross, UFC, and Tigers birthday party at Trampoline World. Ellis is going to be signing books tonight in Huntington Beach at wherever he’s going to be. Hell, by the time I get this posted you might have missed it. My bad. But check his Twittah just to be sure. Another thing to check is Christian’s Instagram account @kingtrut and feel free to give your opinion on Kevin’s head. Does he just have thin hair or is his hair line running from his face? You make the call.photo (2)

Ever watched your kids playing with their toys and wish you had a bigger grown up version of their toys? Well now from the makers of Silly Splooge, Whamo presents Crazy Carts Mega! Now you can play WITH your kids and slam them into the wall in a perfectly legal way! And sticking with the toys and games subject, it’s time for Ellis Jeopardy Chad Reed Edition. Suck it Parker Brothers! And for the second time in a row Dingo wins! Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to ride my flying pig to hell for ice skating lessons. Before I finish this recap on this glorious Chad Reed day, I leave you with a poem,

Chad Reed rides with speed
He rides with intent
He passes you up
Like your bike is all bent

On one fateful day
And with one bad turn
He got a shit whippin
He totally got burned

He’s got a busted back
And his shoulder is a bit bum
But that doesn’t stop Chad Reed
From fuckin yer mum,
OH!

Chad Reed Day: 2/22/2014

As with every year on Chad Reed day (the 22nd of February), TJES celebrates this day by singing songs, reading poetry, and haiku’s written by fans of Chad Reed and the show. Since Chad Reed day falls on Saturday this year, we celebrate a day early – even though technically it is the 22nd in Australia. Here are some fan submitted tributes to Chad Reed.


A haiku by @TonySamurai_
Why are you so fast?
Quickest Aussie on two wheels
Two-two, you are King


A poem by @sharkchucker
Though I have no idea who you are .
Or even what you do.
The wind beneath your balls is Ellis.
And the Dingo is swinging from them too.


Poem #1 by @bitPimps
My hero isn’t in comics
My hero doesn’t wear a cape
My hero doesn’t battle mythical monsters
My hero doesn’t have a special call
My hero isn’t talked about daily
No,
My hero is real
My hero used to wear green
My hero risks his limbs
For the sport he loves
My hero isn’t invincible
My hero is a normal person
My hero isn’t perfect
My hero makes mistakes
But my hero is courageous and brave
My hero rides sharp and true
My hero is CRTwoTwo

Poem #2 by @bitPimps
Chad Reed is an international super star
His amazing moto skill has taken him far
Chad Reed is tougher than a woodpecker’s lips

He soars like an eagle while doing whips
Chad Reed will never surrender

He is not a registered sex offender
While you’re casing and dealing with arm pump

Chad Reed is just hitting his powerband before the jump
Remember this legend on this day

To pay tribute to Chad Reed doesn’t make you gay

Poem #3 by @bitPimps
CRTwoTwo
He don’t use no voodoo
He relies on his talent and skill
He’s like Neo after he took the red pill
Fear not if he’s near the back of the pack
For this courageous man has huge balls in his sack
In a blink of an eye, he’s back leading the race
Standing on the podium with class and grace
Accolades? He has many over his storied career
I bet he’d still win races even if he looked like Lord Sear
If you’re looking for a hero, he’s a wise pick
If you doubt his determination, suck my motherfuckin’ dick


Poem #1 by @AZ_RedDragon
Theres this sick ass dude from Australia.
He’s faster than any other fella
His name is Chad Reed
He’s built for speed
And if ya ask, he’ll tell ya

Oh, the Places Chad Reed Will Go!
Originally by Dr. Seuss, improved by Chad Reed! And @AZ_RedDragon.
Congratulations!
Today is Chad Reed day.
Chad Reed is off to Great Places!
Chad Reed is off and away!
Chad Reed has brains in his head.
Chad Reed has feet in his shoes
Chad Reed can steer himself
any direction he choose.
Chad Reed is on his own. And he knows what he knows.
And CHAD REED is the guy who’ll decide where to go.

Poem #3 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Nantucket
With a dick so long he could suck it
And he said with a grin, as he wiped of his chin
If me ear was a cunt I’d fuck it.

Poem #4 by @AZ_RedDragon
Reed was a young man of Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The drawing was fine
The painting divine
But the aroma — ah, that was the failure.

Poem #5 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reed rides with style and class
Even when passing your ass
His voice is deep when he talks
And you hear a clink when he walks
Because his balls are made out of brass.

Poem #6 by @AZ_RedDragon
Chad Reeds a dude from Kurri Kurri
Always in a bit of a hurry
But when he’d see a fine lass
He’d tickle her ass
And ride away saying No Worries


T’was Chad Reed’s Birth by @deadletters

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Chad Reed’s A Space Lord by @KevinKraftSucks

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Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Chad Reed @possiblytully

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Bonus: Ellis Sings His Chad Reed Tribute Song (2/22/2011)

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Show Re-cap For Friday 2/22/2013

The man

The man, the myth, the Reed!

Happy margarita Chad Reed Day mother fuckers! Today is the day when we honor motocross champion Chad Reed. Chad Mark Reed was born 15 March 1982, in Kurri Kurri, Australia. He is a multi-time supercross and motocross champion, he was taught from a young age as being capable of competing at the sports most elite level. He has proven to be the most consistent supercross/motocross racer in the world. He has since ascended the international ranks of the sport to become Australia’s most successful motocross racer. He also has had sex numerous times with yer mum, and yer sister, and of he wanted to, he could fuck yer dad as well. Enough about Chad Reed, here’s a little news about you and how much you suck. Americans get the least days off or vacation than anyone in the world. That sucks until you realize that were not drinking out of a river and eating cow shit for dinner, those people would love to have a job. The guys read some Chad reed poems and as one would suspect, most of the listeners would like to have gay sex with Chad Reed, the ones that don’t are women and then it’s just regular sex. My favorite Chad Reed story is how this moto dude took a picture with Sir Reed and grabbed his junk and gently whispered in his ear, “this is only awkward if you make it awkward.”

A man in stress ball packing plant punched his boss and threatened his coworkers with a knife because no matter what you’re packing, work sucks. This brought on the topic of Josh’s stressful life and how difficult and exhausting it is constantly hunting for large

Women's sports have never looked better!

Women’s sports have never looked better!

areolas. In MMA news, there were a few fights the other day and King Mo got knocked out because he was being cocky and left his hands down, and Finkelstien won but during his celebratory romp he fell down. I would have a video of that for you but I can’t find it so here’s something else. Women in sports is okay if they can support their own, but not if they are swinging off the dicks of man sports. Rob Coddry came back into in studio today and he has six movies coming out this year! Mother fucker has been busy. It is now expected that all celebrity guests get measured on their punching power but before punching Rob warmed up with hurtful childhood insults, and after that they shared bad heroin memories. Somehow the conversation turned to Halle Berry, Halle Berry’s boobs, breast feeding, yer mums boobs, then yer mum boob feeding you at 13 with a raging boner. Oh yeah, Rob punch 58 after knocking over josh. Rob talked about when he worked with The Rock he never saw him or hung out or compared bicep measurements. Ellis thinks he can out box him but then he thought he can’t. Rob left us with a little advise, take vacations more often and try new drugs, enjoy your life and what you work for, but don’t trip too hard because that shit sucks!coolshit

There was a dead body in water tank at hotel, unfortunately it wasn’t Paris Hilton, it was just some runaway. Boring. Jared Fogle of subway apparently has some epic tweets and you should follow him immediately (@thejaredfogel). The boys then graced us with Chad Reed songs, including Will with his classic hit, Chad Reed. Phoenix Askani was also in the studio today after running here after getting a good railing on a staircase, thats right folks, she’s a porn star, so here is the summary of her interview. Bla bla bla sex bla bla bla porn bla bla bla lesbians bla bla bla follow me on twitter bla bla bla dicks. Then she also did the punch test and got a 44. I’m not sure where that ranks but who cares, I’m sure there will be a chart or graph or something later that we can all look at. Then Jason and Kevin did a vegemiteVegemite eating contest and Ellis won, surprise surprise. However Kevin had the best line of the day when he said it tasted like soy sauce and despair. There were a few final calls and then they did Cumtard’s love connection with Phoenix while he had to eat a stick of butter. Unfortunately he failed miserably. Somewhere between the comic book talk and consistent vomiting he couldn’t seem to pull his game together. This pissed off Josh and Will because she basically laid herself in Kevin’s hands. Then Rawdog tried, he fucked her. Then Kevin had a chance again but Rawdog cock blocked him and then fucked her again. Unfortunately Kevin did hot a home run with yer mum, turns out the consistent vomiting and butter breath was irresistible to her, OH!

Happy Chad Reed Day! – 2/22/11 (History)

450-podium-chad-reed

It’s Chad Reed Day 2012 (or should it’ve been 2/2/12?). In honor of the wounded SX champion let’s rewind the clock back to 2/22/2011. Reed has just come off his very first win as a team owner in San Diego. Danny & the Dingo are in studio to help Rawdog and J.Ellis celebrate.


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Download (link to MP3)


#ChadReedDay mention on Speed TV – 2/25/12

chadreedday on speed

Chad Reed calls in during the Round 8 Atlanta Supercross event and #ChadReedDay gets mentioned on air.

Long:

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Short:

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