Sorry Canada, you’re on your own, but you can have a superhero.
It’s Monday and some of you are still recovering from The Wreckoning, I feel no pity for you. HA! The show started off with AussieDog and RawTully filling in for Ellis for about a minute. Rawdog has got a sore shoulder from getting an atomic wedgie at The Wreckoning, and you can watch that along with him getting mouth raped thanks to @CobraTits. Ellis says he’s super proud of the fans at how nice they were, especially to the ladies, except the guy that kept prodding Ellis to fight him. Dingo likes to jizz all over everything, car seats, hotel sheets, floors, individually wrapped cups, pretty much anything and everything. Pendarvis revealed that he went to Vegas over the weekend and has a gambling problem that nobody ever knew about. At one point he was down $2,000 and ended up walking away with $1,400 in the black, he also revealed that at the last EllisMania, he ended up winning about $3,000. As time goes on, we find out more and more little secrets about. Should Ellis become the King of America, watch the fuck out, because Mexico will be part of us now and people are going to get shot, and you get no say in jack shit so back the fuck up, son! Canada, you stay Canada.
Get your helmets on, we’re in for a bumpy ride.
The UFC was the next topic up on the show, which of course means that we’re all interested in how much money Rawdog makes working for Sirius. Tully told of a story staying a shithole in Albuquerque, New Mexico with bullet holes in the doors and a broken toilet duct taped back together. This of course reminded Rawdog of how his dad used to take him out for pizza to a restaurant that nobody else was at except a table of Italian guys. So of course that makes it a front for mob money laundering, which in turn brings us to Ellis wanting to bang Adele. And that pretty much covers UFC news. What? Pizza, American’s didn’t invent it and German’s didn’t invent the hamburger. The Hobbit, it sounds like a massive hunk of turd-crap movie that’s too damn long.
iPope location service de-activated.
Some angry protestors showed up at the Vatican, they were mad that the Pope said gay marriage and abortion are threats to world peace. Which of course means that if you disagree with him, you shall burn in a lake of fire. Maybe. Or possibly not, nobody really knows. Dingo was baptized, but he considers himself more Christian than Catholic. Sounds like some pound for pound talk. Another church in New Zealand thinks that Jesus is gay and since it’s Christmas time, it’s the perfect time him to come out of the closet as a homosexual man baby. The Game’s new album cover depicts a thug Jesus, which is totally fucking gangster because he’s reppin’ the hood. There’s also palm trees in the image so I assume that means Jesus likes the beach scene too. Cumtard was put under some scrutiny after saying that he blacked out for the entire Wreckoning, but then came to at some point at his apartment and kept drinking. He says he has no recollection of yelling at one of his chick friends that he wants to bang, but something seems amiss in his story to the guys.
Family matters in the public eye typically works out very well.
Hollywood news time and Kat Von D got engaged to Deadmau5, on Twitter – so you know it’s gonna last. Kelly Clarkson got engaged as well, she did Tweet about it, but wasn’t proposed to over Twitter or any other social media website, so sorry Kelly, you lose. Janice Dickinson also got engaged, she’s in her 50’s so you know damn well Twitter wasn’t involved at all – however, Medicare was. Brooke Mueller is getting out of rehab for the 19th time, one could only assume she’s planning her 20th rehab visit sometime just after the New Year. ABC Network has green lit a project to document Justin Bieber’s life before he rose to fame, which is old news because we did a story on Justin “Cream Corn” Bieber way before it was cool. Final calls, some dude with a wife and kids isn’t getting any sex from his wife or his kids, and that’s bullshit. Now he’s Mr. Creepy Guy, staring at any piece of gash that walks by, welcome to getting old my friend. Have a seat. Another dude called in to give his two cents on the Cumtard and his alcoholic writing tendencies, but what the fuck does that guy know? He’s not even an alcoholic in training. Another caller chimed in to ask if the guys thought they could make it in a real man’s world. I think he meant working 8+ hours a day and not hunting down buffalo with no other weapons than your cock. Another dude called in, him and his wife split up but lived together, she ended up kicking him out so she could suck another dude’s dick. After getting bored with his dick, she went back to her ex and said she made a “mistake” and they got back together. Turns out she’s still be texting this other dude and misses his cock now too. Anyways, that’s how it goes when you’re with that cock starved slut that you call your mother. OH!