Full studio today, Tully is back from his super secret mega meeting on a movie set, Dingo is back from New York, Rawdog is no longer grounded, and Ellis is there in his normal chair. Tully wears pajamas and buys top of the line slippers, not that ratty looking shit, he’s on top of his slipper game. Ellis and Dingo are straight boxer shorts wearing mofo’s, no word about Rawdog’s sleepwear but I’m just going to pretend he wears a see through nightgown. Ellis confession time. Ellis’ therapist said he was supposed to go out and ask a pretty girl for their number, he even went out and got a book about how to pick up chicks. He went out to put himself in the position to meet new people and got bored and left. STEEERIKE 1! However, he did go out to see Ironman 3 with a chick last night, but he fell asleep. STEEERIKE 2! Ellis also just signed a deal to fight somebody, so he’s back out of retirement and in the fight game. Ellis and Rawdog went out on a double-date with each other, they all met at Chateau Marmont for $400 drinks and food. Ellis might be have obtained celebrity status as he was ushered into the “special” area and Rawdog was not to be trusted and had to be walked to the table to make sure he belonged there. Rawdog was the one to suggest they go there to take Ellis out to apologize for Friday’s fiasco. But as soon as that bill came, he balked on Ellis paid the tab. Tully got his breakfast on Friday paid for by a billionaire. He was on the set of a baseball movie that he’s writing the book for. It’s about two dudes that travel to India looking to draft some dudes to be the majors or some shit. He got to meet Jon Hamm, Bill Paxton, the kid from that movie Life of Pi, and some other people. The UFC fights weren’t so great this time, even Dana admitted they sucked. There was a bunch of MMA talk and some secret “Mac” guy, whose also a pro fighter, even called in to discuss some the aspects.
Women, am I right time! Miss Utah sounded ridiculously stupid recently when she tried to give an insightful answer on gender inequality in America. Watch what you do with your wad fellas. Ladies can take your wad from the tissues you blew in and jam that cock snot into their vag and make a baby. Wad can be preserved! New York’s “hot dog hooker” has been arrested again, her wiener’s bring all the boys to the yard. Some dude on a train was talking about cheating on his wife and some chick on the train overheard it and tweeted that shit to Facedong and it got a shitload of likes and nobody knows if the wife found out. A pregnant woman in New Orleans reached over a counter and helped herself to a frozen daqueri, after being confronted, she produced a hand gun and threatened shoot the motherfucker. Pregnant and drunk is no way to go through life, sister. Some drunk lawyer chick in Brooklyn threw her panties at cops during her freak out and yelled “suck my pussy” and “eat my ass, you fucking pigs!” This is not the lawyer you want defending you. Bonus, her boyfriend broke up with her. A Canadian female police officer reported being shot, causing a hunt for the gunman, turns out she shot herself. Some other dipshit chick walked into a glass door and then was trying to sue for physical and emotional damages, but not brains.
Hollyturd news time. Lil’ Wayne hates America, he stepped all over the American flag while “rapping” in one of his music videos. Also he plans to retire. Yay! Samsung is going to be giving 1 million of their customer’s a copy of Jay-Z’s new album “N-bombs in Wisconsin”. Obama vs Putin in a swimming competition, and something about Ed Hardy garbage. More stuff, but I was in traffic and forgot. The one thing I didn’t forget? It’s Thomas Haden Church’s birthday today, so happy birthday (not paying royalties for it) to that legend! Malicexxx and some Tara chick came on the show for some wad talk, it was wadalicious. There was some talk about bears and sharks too, but I was still in traffic and busy wishing everyone would just crash so I could get through – so I’m not real sure what else to say about those two animals. Instead, I’ll tell you this. Three sluts are in a bar. The first slut says, “my vag’s so big, I can fit a whole fist in!” The second slut says, “So what? I can fit two!” The third slut just smiles and slides slowly down the barstool. OH!