Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/5/2012

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Y’all wanna see a dead body?

It’s taco Tuesday, titty Tuesday, twink Tuesday, whatever Tuesday. Fuckin’ pick one and enjoy that shit. Ellis saw a dead guy on the beach this morning, sounds like he was floating in the water all bloated and looking like an octopus and shit. Tully will be guest hosting on Hair Nation tonight and for the rest of this week, I’m anxious to see if he starts coming on the show in leopard print spandex pants and sporting bandanas tied around his wrists and microphone. Ellis went to a sensory deprivation tank yesterday for two hours, in accordance with his agreement with Rawdog that he would try it. Sounds like Jude might be going to Ellismania 8, that’s pretty fuckin’ awesome-sauce, right?

Come on ride the train hey ride it woo woo

Sounds like Rawdog banged a chick at the last Ellismania, to be more precise, he had 2 different chicks semi-fighting over him. I honestly don’t remember him ever bringing this up on the radio, but I do remember seeing a picture of him kissing on a chick at an after party at a bar. Big surprise here, a lot of religious people are really fucked up in the head and a lot of them hate homosexuals because Jeebus told them to or some dumb shit. That discussion went on for awhile, but nothing was really said that hasn’t already been said for centuries, basically it was just train wreck of fire and brimstone bullshit. A German chick was listening while on ellismania.com and I assume was lying when she said she does not do anal and is not into scat play. What German isn’t into sex involving fecal matter? That’s right, NONE! If you’re a short and fat girl, that’s a real bummer, if you’re short and not fat, you’re probably pretty fucking cute. If you’re tall and beautiful, you’re probably a model, otherwise odds are you’re a fucking Amazon, deformed, hideous oddity. Maybe you have gigantism and / or a mustache, I don’t know – nobody really knows, it’s not an exact science you fuckwit.

Swedish, German, does it really matter?

Some guy in Sweden masturbates so loudly he’s annoying the neighbors and the cops are just like “you guys deal with it, we’re not getting any Swiss cum on our shit”. According to one neighbor, he moans louder than an animal and it affects her state of mind. Of course it affects your state of mind, you’re probably super moist, ya Swede. Some dude claimed to be married to a chick with an identical twin sister, and unbeknownst to him, the twin came over and they got busy with sexy times but he didn’t realize it was the twin sister. I call straight up bullshit on this fucking story, it sounds like a rejected Penthouse letter. Some fucker from Missouri called in with a shit call, a message to you sir, me and @oxycottonjohn rule down here, so don’t go fuckin’ around and making us look bad, you shitdick.

Forever A Stallone

At 93 years of age, Mel Gibson’s father is getting divorced over alligations of elderly abuse. Way to catch that shit in time man, you’re on deaths doorstep and you want a divorce now? Shit must be fucking balls to the wall crazy up in Mel Gibson Senior’s Senior Center. There was some crime / murder / death / kill / funeral talk, (did you just catch that “Demolition Man” reference?) it was kind of a downer at times – especially for Ellis when it reminded him of his brother Stevie, but life isn’t always weed and titties and all types of ill shit. Next big call was some dude called in about his daughter getting molested / raped at knife point and wasn’t sure if he was going to give more information to the police or if he would take matters into his own hands. Since he called into the show to discuss it, that pretty much cements the decision, just give the information to the police because now you’re implicated. Hopefully prison justice prevails here because child molesters in prison don’t last long amongst general prisoners. There’s really nothing else to be said here, it’s sickening. No new music Tuesday today because Rawdog’s computer that he loves so much is a big piece of shit and wouldn’t burn a cd, so you can thank Steve Jobs for making fanboy toys, that eventually saved you from new music Tuesday – even though it has gotten better since Rawdog has stopped focusing solely on sad bastard, pumpernickle bread, bullshit. And as always, I have more information I feel I can tell you about your mother. You know how your mom says anal sex is like your first car? You don’t really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. So in case you don’t get it, your grandpa fucked your mother right in her asshole. OH!

Rawdog and Whitney after EM7 – 9/19/11, 6/5/12 (History)

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Did Rawdog admit to getting laid at EM7? Cobratits is on the case.

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6/5/12

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9/19/11

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Show Re-cap For Monday 6/4/2012

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Why is everyone such a cunt today? Fuck it, who cares, let’s just get right into this fucker of mothers Monday re-cap. Dingo was on the show today, and contrary to popular (or unpopular) belief, he has never licked dog balls and Rawdog’s pubic hair is like furry chocolate – or so he says. Ellis got in trouble because his son told mommy that he was being called a drama queen while he was camping, but Ellis swears he didn’t make him eat rocks or anything. Ellis locked his keys in his rental car so he smashed the window to get in. I think most of us at one point has locked our keys in our vehicles, but here’s my suggestion to you, and it’s a good one – I know because I’ve done it before. Look around for a shady looking dude, offer him $20 if he can prove how good of a criminal he is by breaking into your vehicle without actually breaking anything. BOOM! You’re in your vehicle within 5 minutes and shady guy gets a free twenty dollar rock to smoke on.

More talk about going to Thailand, staying in a hut, and tripping mushrooms. Dingo had some experience with Thailand, mainly getting some type of food poisoning or something right before he was to leave and spent 36 hours on a plane shitting and throwing up. Another new intern / call screener today, my Internet cut out for his entire introduction and came back after someone was calling him a liar – so I have no fucking clue what that’s about. But I do know this, his tentative nickname is Bitch Taco. Mouth guards came in today for the guys to wear at Ellismania 8 and so suggestions for what to write on them started flying. I think Rawdog’s is (or should be) “ManBoy”, Tully seems to really like “Princess” or possibly “Fuck Canada” (if it’s cool with Canadians), Dingo will be “Dr. Cunt” or “Way Gay”, I’m not sure Ellis really chose one yet – the one that was discussed is too long I believe, and @Butterballs_EM6 will most likely be going with “Pizza”. Kids are durable as shit, just ask any parent who’s dropped or banged their child’s head on shit, that’s why some kids have dents in their heads.

Apparently the new thing for celebrities is to get a “party girl IV drip” or some shit. According to Simon Cowell, it made him feel warm and fuzzy and he had energy for a few days. To be fair, he says the same thing after he’s been penetrated in the ass by several men. Cue callers who had stories of using IV drips during and/or after partying, such as a group of dudes who go out partying and bring their paramedic friend who has a cooler full of IVs and he administers it to them after they’ve partied themselves stupid. By the sounds of callers, people are abusing IVs left and right, they fucking chill them and dump that shit in their veins to help cool themselves down, etc.

So many people have been calling lately asking what’s up with “Red Dragons” and one caller capitalized on that today by asking “What’s up with all these dragons?” And another caller asked for a “Red Dragons” because he wasn’t a fucking retard caller. That unleashed a barrage of callers asking for a “Red Dragons” for one thing or another until the point that it became ridiculous, but in a good way. One of the toppers at the ending was a guy saying he just took a big fat Brad (a shit, named for another previous caller) and sure as shit, he got one. I thought those were pretty fucking funny, so you better have god damned laughed too! There must have been fifty fucking people calling in today asking for a “Red Dragons” for doing this, that, or some other thing but I digress. The big story here is while your mom was on vacation in Detroit, she was walking to the store for cigarettes and blunt wraps as a car pulls up. The guy in the car could tell your mom was ready to make a few bucks and asks her if she’s “working”. Your mom responded “as always honey” and turns on her charm and says “Tell me it’s true what they say about black guys” He then proceeds to stab her 37 times and steals her purse. And that’s how she met your father, Leeland. OH!