Monthly Archives: October 2013

Show Re-Cap for Monday 10/7/2013

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ed_mcmahon_rubin

With each visit, Sam Rubin is becoming more and more like Ed McMahon, but thinks he’s Johnny.

It’s Monday. So what. EllisMania 9 is the weekend. That’s what. God made a seem in your balls, it gives the illusion of 2 nice normal balls, even if you have 7 small balls. Chicks don’t really get how men don’t feel their balls moving around while walking, we’re just used to our balls. Katie and Andrea have become friends who talk to each other at soccer games, about how Ellis farts in his sleep. Ellis was on Loveline last night. Kardashian something or another. I don’t care. But why doesn’t Ellis get hired as a talk show host? He’ll even wear a wig, damn it! And the answer is, because God is a motherfucker. Ellis sparred a dude today who took his anger out on Ellis, but ended up apologizing for doing so. We heard some more audio from Ellis’ recent visit on KTLA, which ended up ushering in the first guest, fuckin Sam fuckin Rubin. He talked about how Ellis’ business manager plays Mahjong with Sam’s wife or some shit. Apparently Ellis’ business manager also managed Rick James, bitch. Sam also talked about how he’s starting to get a little concerned about his fight with Tera Patrick, which leaves me left wondering if he ever really sparred Bob Dylan or not. Funny enough, during the Kardashian discussion earlier, the guys were talking about how celebrities can’t host talk shows because they constantly end up steering the conversation back to be about themselves. And sure enough, that’s exactly what Sam kept doing at first, it always went back to be about him. I’m sure in life, he’s a real nice guy, he’s had Ellis on his show several times. I’m probably in the minority with my opinion of Sam, or maybe I’m just being a bitch, but he annoys me. Anyway, more power to him.

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I’m fantasizing about one of the MMA chicks kicking Sam in the nuts.

Shit. A story about Lindsay Lohan with Sam still in studio. Again, he says he’s “happy to open the door for Ellis to let him charge through”, name dropped some names, and took credit for giving the world Ryan Seacrest, among others. What a modest fellow. Julianna Pena, from The Ultimate Fighter, and another fighter chick that didn’t make it into the house (Colleen Schneider), came onto the show. I assume Sam was the one who found her, trained her, and got her on to the show. They talked about fighting men, getting punched in the boobs, EllisMania 9, and types of guys they date. Sam is still stuck on boobs, worried he’s going to punch Tera in the boob and explode her implant. He kept ratcheting up the creep factor by constantly asking either of the girls to be his corner person during his fight. Ellis let both girls kick him at the same time, one on each leg and that turned out to be not such a good idea as they didn’t seem to hold back much. Julianna hit the punch-o-meter pad and scored a 60 on her first shot, which ended up being her best and may have put her on top of all females who have hit the pad. Ellis almost lost his composure after finding out that the girls do sometimes use their MMA during sex acts to control their partner. And then Ellis really lost his shit when he found out that Colleen had a bleeding box after a knee strike to her cookie during a fight.

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Just waiting for Sam to leave.

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YEAH! Sam’s gone!

A Brazilian man was murdered by weed. There was a roadblock and he made a run for it, then he crashed and the half ton load of that sticky icky crushed his ass. My only question is, did his friends then smoke him, making that the first stoner to ever fulfill the fantasy of having their friends smoke them when they die. This brought us to discussion about Tully and Rawdog watching The Boondock Saints over the weekend. Spoiler alert if you’ve been living under a fucking rock. Rawdog did not hate it, but he kept comparing it to Pulp Fiction in his head and felt it borrowed a lot from that film. Another thought he had was “holy shit, this is the most Irish movie ever” but liked the tone the movie was going for at first. He also liked that the director left it open for interpretation at the end as to whether the viewer was for or against the saints, which he was against as he thought they were just vigilante killers. This is where Tully disagreed, he thought the saints didn’t take their lives too seriously and knew they were getting lucky to be coming away unscathed and that they were just going around doing what they thought was right. He also thought the 5-story fall was pretty far-fetched because the guy didn’t die. And then there was the gay detective, Tully feels this movie must have been written by a homosexual because of how that whole dynamic played out. Turns out the guy that wrote the movie, Troy Duffy, ended up being a huge asshole to everyone once he sold the script of the movie and now he’s just a huge asshole with no friends. And that’s was where The Boondock Saints discussion ended.

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If this recap blows, I blame Sam, fuckin’ Sam fuckin’ Rubin.

The quasi famous, drunken, feral pig in Australia known for steeling beer and fighting cows has died at the hands of a truck, leaving behind a pile of bacon bits. This led us into a round of brand new Wolfknives members being named – the highlight of which could very well have been the idea of having back acne made of gold. That or maybe the guy that said he was a doctor and record label owner. Or maybe it was when Rawdog said that fish don’t have teeth. Or maybe it was the cauliflower pussy joke Tully has been sitting on ever since Colleen talked about MMA on her box. I don’t know, you make the call. Katie came in today so she could take her turn after Tully, both doing their Onnit™ Look Good Naked challenge. Juilanna Pena was anxious to ask Katie how she felt when Ellis starts talking about an ugly chick, which doesn’t typically bother her because there’s usually some kind of creepy involved which is right in her wheelhouse, so-to-speak. After all, she know’s a dude with 3 balls, Buck Manley. But he has nothing on a real man with a real truck.

This finally brought us to the very first call of the show, which also preempted final calls and a possible twerk session featuring Rawdog’s allegedly flabby ass cheeks. The real highlight was a caller who wanted some hemorrhoid talk with 3 ladies in the room. This really put Ellis in the mood considering the in studio audience, but he handled it like a champ. Don’t forget about the EllisMania 9 PSA’s for all your information regarding the who’s, the what’s, the when’s, the why’s, etc. And since Sam was on for half the show, I had time to think about some of the more important issues facing the world and I think I’ve found one for you philanthropists out there. If Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS. OH!

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HAHAAAA! Fuck you, fuckin’ Sam fuckin’ Rubin!

EllisMania 9: Public Service Announcements

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EllisMania 9 is just around the corner! And EllisFam has some things to say to help you enjoy your time while attending EM9. From public service announcements and motivational comments, to general advice – these are things you should not only hear, but also… well, hear, I guess.

(by: @emilyinSD)

 (by: @thegooser)

 (by: @thegooser)

 (by: @thegooser)

 (by: @thegooser)

(by: @sharkchucker)

 (by: @sharkchucker)

 (by: @sharkchucker)

Morgan Freeman, Slipknot, & You

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Who can ever get enough of Morgan Freeman or Slipknot? For that matter, who can ever get enough of us making cock & balls audio bits? Not us!

(by: @sharkchucker)

(by: @Hollow_NorCal)

heavy_metal_got_heavier

Really, it’s just “big boned” though.

Show Re-cap for Friday 10/4/2013

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I’m burning through the sky! 200 degrees that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit! I’m travelling at the speed of light!!!!! I WANNA MAKE A SUPERSONIC MAN OUTTA YOU! Sorry, I’m on a Queen rampage(Fuck you, I mean the band) and I am un fucking stoppable! Much like Ellis, who seems to not be getting hit too hard with the anti-biotics and he is kicking ass at the gym and keeping his diet under control. But man, is pizza looking fucking good to him right about now. I mean, it’s bread which is awesome, plus cheese which is even better. How can you go wrong with bread covered in cheese and other delicious things like pepperoni, sausage, peppers and olives? He can still get the vegan, gluten-free pizzas they offer at hippie holes and he says they are still good, but seriously? Fuck off. You know when you are eating a pizza impostor and it’s always a little bit sad when you try and lie to yourself and pretend that you like the healthy shit. PIZZA ISN’T ABOUT HEALTH IT’S ABOUT HATING YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE DONE. I can relate to Ellis at this point a bit because I’ve been trying to cut down to 185 from 200 for a few months(From a high of 265, mind you) and it is fucking excruciating to not eat delicious food for sake of a number on a scale. By the way, I hit 183 on Monday so yeah, I ate a large greasy meat filled pizza to celebrate. Like I said, I am UN FUCKING STOPPABLE. Moving on.

I carved that bite out with my tongue. Ladies.

I carved that bite out with my tongue. Ladies.

As we have all heard The Onnit Naked Challenge is a thing Tully is doing so he can shed some weight and feel better about walking around the house without pants. He says he is feeling a bit in his upper thighs. Enough about the dude, because the other person who is doing the naked challenge, Katie, is way hotter and sounds way better doing the challenge today. If you didn’t still have a hard on from yesterday’s show, Katie showed up briefly to get her workout in. And I uhhh….I don’t really know how else to put this: If you go back and listen to her working out, you could probably masturbate to completion a couple of times on your way to work. I mean, I was cooking dinner for my family when I was listening to it and my junk was flinching a bit. I’m just gonna go ahead and admit here I have a gigantic fantasy crush on Katie. She is smoking hot and Jason is a lucky fucking dude. Again, I’m going to just move on before it gets weird.

How I would see myself getting kicked out of the studio if I were there.

As we heard previously, Tiger has discovered his testicles and is manipulating them in increasingly hilarious ways. And in proving he is a true chip off the old block, he’s got some jokes about how when he smashes them together they look like butt cheeks. And how he is no longer going to use his regular butt cheeks to go poopy, he is going to use his new ones. Fuckin’ adorable eh?

When is New York gonna give me my nuts back?

When is New York gonna give me my nuts back?

Rapid fire stuff from early on: Will looks like the fat guy from My Name is Earl and Mallrats. (Louie Lastic from Remember the Titans is how I remember him). The dick punch machine has gone missing. All logical signs point to Rawdog being the culprit so he doesn’t have to get cock punched with it anymore. The only thing he has that might clear him of any wrongdoing is that he may not be strong enough to lift it by himself and he has no friends who will help him. Poor little bugger. Fred Durst and Billy Ray Cyrus found out how to make aborted fetuses into musical instruments. And Chris “Thor” Hemsworth is apparently super outback, claiming to have lived in a farm with some Abbos back in the day. This lady’s boyfriend gave her AIDS on Instagram and Facebook. Josh found some more bullshit Sasquatch pictures. To sort of re-work Tully’s argument that if ghosts exist, we would have video proof with all of the camera phones in the world these days: If Bigfoot were real, out of all of the rural areas Bigfoot is supposedly sighted in, why hasn’t anyone shot one yet? It would stand to reason if someone saw something they would actually think is a Sasquatch (Or a Squatch if you haven’t seen a vagina in 10 years) that someone would have bagged and tagged shithead by now. And you know what? I FUCKING HOPE THEY DO KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER. THINK YOU CAN ELUDE US FOR THIS LONG? HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS???? FUCK YOU! DIE! BEEF JERKY WHORE!

Women Am I Right? Thomas Hayden Church interrupted Women Am I Right today because why the fuck not? THC is the coolest dude ever, still filming his movie called Cardboard Boxer about a homeless dude who is pitted against other homeless guys in boxing matches by a bunch of rich kids. He is starring in it opposite Terrence Howard, which I just learned from this article. They played some Ellis Jeopardy which was unfairly rigged to fuck THC over, asking questions about people he has worked with in the past, and current TV shows. The game actually ended with nobody winning at all, goose eggs across the board, but was the usual entertainment that comes with Jason describing words that Wilson writes down for him. THC is an amazing guest too, because the game was treated with intermittent stories and conversations that sprouted off organically, and were genuinely interesting. Did I mention the dude got set on fire 8 times the night before? I didn’t? That dude is the man! What’s more is he finally called Tully’s wife to deliver the line “I need money” to her. For those who don’t know, Tully’s wife developed a running joke after she saw Spiderman 3 where she imitated THC’s line of “I need money” around in daily life. This just speaks to how cool THC is, that he would patronize himself for such a one-off inside joke like that for Tully and his wife. Cool Motherfucker.

We had 2 guests on the show today, the second one being WWE superstar/Fozzy frontman Chris Jericho. Now, if you’re like me, when you heard Chris Jericho was about to come on TJES you thought “What the fuck? Really?” Well, I’m hear to tell you, Chris Jericho is a fucking awesome guest. Him and Ellis warmed up to each other trading stories about injuries, music and chasing dreams from really early in life. Chris has even toured with Metallica with his band, Fozzy. The conversation flowed really well and it seems like Ellis and Jericho actually run in pretty much the  with connections like Corey Taylor, Jim Florentine, Sebastian Bach and a couple others I can’t remember because of beer. They covered a lot of ground talking about how Chris’ band opened for Metallica, how he was originally a part of The Metal Show when it was a radio show but they booted him when it became a TV Show and Mike Tyson. Jericho even laid into Rawdog for being so little and nerdy for a while which was fucking hilarious. He hit the punch pad, landed a 63  tying with Sebastian Bach (Who Chris joked probably screamed “Duuuuuuddee” the whole way up to the pad). The interview went so well it took the show all the way to a close because Ellis had to go pick up his kids. I was really hoping it could have gone longer, but hopefully Jericho will come back because he left a good impression on the show and I could see him coming and riffing with the guys any time he is around like all of the guys I’ve mentioned earlier.

This was probably the most comprehensive Re-cap I have written in some time, and I attribute it to beer and QUEEN! Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it’s turning inside out Yeah!
I’m floating around in ecstasy
So don’t stop me now don’t stop me
‘Cause I’m having a good time having a good time

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to dance my way to the fridge, and make my wife question why she ever married me.

 

Show Re-cap for Thursday 10/3/2013

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Today’s show was a highly anticipated one by all listeners as yesterday we were left with a ‘Best Of’ and a vague tweet from Jason which was interpreted by many as gloom and doom-y as possible. My twitter feed exploded with people vowing to drop their Sirius subscription, rallying for a fight, and pledging their allegiance to Ellisfam- and the always wonderful BitPimps helped calm many (or at least me, and I sort of count in the lesser grand scheme of things) with a post telling everyone to keep calm and harden the fuck up. Or something like that. But seriously, I spent the afternoon yesterday rationalising to myself all of the reasons that he couldn’t have been spontaneously fired and dreaming that he finally landed a television show after someone saw him on KTLA and saying, “He’s fucking amazing! Why doesn’t he have his own TV show?!?!?!?!?”

Getting right into it, skipping the intro music and ditching the robot voice, Ellis knew the listeners were waiting to know what the fuck happened yesterday and didn’t make anyone wait longer than necessary. In a nutshell: Will called Ellis yesterday as Ellis was driving in to the studio to tell him that someone at SiriusXM told him that some of there area was being hijacked (office space and the green room) to be turned into offices for someone else’s sales department and his studio was no longer going to be his studio, he was going to be sharing it with whomever else they decided to throw in there. Ellis said, “I didn’t agree to that” while thinking ‘I’m the fucking King of the West and last time we talked we all agreed that I deserve everything I’m asking for’ and decided to forgo doing the show because he’s a man who stands his ground. The ending is that the Big Bosses at SiriusXM worked everything out and said it was all a big mistake, and if that’s good enough for Ellis then that should be good enough for everyone. He is trying to do what is best for the show, get a producer, get the people working with him the money they deserve, and continue to do bigger and better things. The whole ordeal left him stressed out, talking about moving in with Katie, selling his car, and becoming a male prostitute, but once it was worked out it left him more driven then ever. Which is great. There’s nothing wrong with taking a stand.

Moving on.

Yesterday morning Ellis was on KTLA, which to my understanding is a morning talk show over in California, and he was awesome. He had a great time doing it, and thought it was hilarious that the teeny tiny female anchor was so pathetically weak that when she punched him she almost fell over. You should watch the clip, if you haven’t already, because Ellis is entertaining as hell and I realllllllllly find it hardd to believe that no one has given him his own TV show yet. Seriously, I don’t watch TV because there is nothing on it that is worth watching anyway, but I would tune in to watch tiny chicks punching a big tattooed Aussie in the face any day of the week. If you wouldn’t do the same…you suck and you’re lying to yourself. KTLA also served as a great place to plug Ellismania 9 as Sam Ruben is an anchor on KTLA, so they could talk about his upcoming fight with Tera Patrick.

Speaking of fighting…but wait no…because the TV has been installed in the studio!!!!! They spend a good few minutes commentating to random television and commercials (at some point one of them mentions that they are watching The Chew) while Wilson is begging them in the background to stop watching the tv and talking about it because the listeners can’t see what they are talking about and it was his worst fear coming to life. The Jason Ellis Show briefly turned into a bunch of guys on the radio reacting to things that they were seeing on tv and…still managing to be entertaining. Poor Wilson.

Speaking of fighting, but this time really, guess who sent Ellis a skateboard in the mail which featured Bruce Lee? You aren’t going to guess. It wasn’t Tony Hawk, or Nicole Richie, or Tatiana Ali…it was Dana White. A guy that Ellis is friends with that he can’t believe he is friends with. General consensus is that the Bruce Lee skateboard will be mounted on the wall in the studio, because that’s cool as shit. And…speaking of Dana White, the Ultimate Fighter was on last night. Ellis watched it and the guy with the earrings got beat up. That is all. This led to Ellis talking about his sparring partner last night, who was a fat mexican guy wearing a shirt that had a fat joke on it, because sometimes it’s just awesome to laugh at yourself. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who could do three three minute rounds, but he did and Ellis had a good time. Ellis talks about how awesome it is for people to go to the ‘real’ gym (read- boxing gym) to get in shape as opposed to mindlessly slapping their feet to the beat of ‘duh’ on the treadmill, because not only are they getting in shape and losing weight, but they are learning skills and staying engaged and interested. Rawdog thinks that you can get the same workout and health benefits from running on a treadmill and says that some people find it medatative. He also apparently thinks that he could run on a treadmill blindfolded. And he was wrong. Until he changed his mind and became right. Tully ran for a little while, not on a treadmill, and says he always felt like he was skiing or flying and it was a cool feeling, but he didn’t stick with it.

There were shots fired at the Capitol in Washington DC. Why is food on television so goddamn entertaining when it leaves you so unfulfilled? Look at them feeding all of the health food to the fat guy? Why are they zooming in and slow-mo-ing the old guy dancing? These are all questions you hear when you put a tv in a room of guys doing radio. TJES was a little bit ADD for a while. But seriously, what IS up with food tv? Ellis, Rawdog, and Tully all seem a little flumoxed over it as there is no satisfaction to be garnered from watching people cook and eat food on tv. So why do people do it? Why do women do it? Because it’s filler tv that you can just put on and space out to, clean the house, do the laundry, and you’re not really missing anything. Just like with soap operas. Take Ellis’s advice and just watch Spongebob, because the Bob always delivers. Tully brings up the point of porn (not food porn) because at least with porn, if you’re masturbating to it, you are getting some satisfaction. There is no food equivalent to this. If you are watching food tv, most likely the only thing that you are getting is hungry, and probably curious about what the fuck the EVOO shit is that Rachel Ray keeps talking about. It’s extra virgin olive oil.

The Hurricane was a boxer, not a natural disaster, who was falsely accused of murder and convicted of it back in the 60’s at the height of his boxing career. Which really sucks. What sucks even more was that he spent 20 years in jail and Bob Dylan wrote a song about him before some teenager finally managed to help get him a retrial and get him the fuck out of jail. Denzel Washington played him in the movie about this whole incident, and I’m wondering if they fit in the part where after he got out of prison he defected from America to our cousins in the North and moved to Toronto where he continued to be falsely accused of crime. At least the cops in Toronto realized their mistake in less than 20 years and released him- presumably with a “My bad, eh?” and a hearty Canadian handshake. Ellis thinks that Canada is a good place for black people because the people there are less racist. Tully thinks that the Hurricane is looking a little crazy these days…but that’s probably something that happens when the White Man steals 20 years of your life. Sorry, Hurricane.

If your wondering why you’re still paying taxes during the shutdown of the federal government, wonder no more, as the FBI shut down silkroad.com- a website which was the online black market and dealt with goods on the wrong side of savory like heroin, cocaine, stolen credit cards, and child porn. Go feebs!! But, no, Tully still found that there are plenty places online to continue buying heroin. So, basically your taxes are paying for the Congressional salaries that don’t get affected by furlough. Fuck. Shit. Maybe that’s what the shooting at the Capitol was about.

Tully and Katie are undertaking Onnit’s ‘Look Good Naked’ challenge and today was Challenge Day One! Tully is going to look great in a speedo for his vacation when the challenge is over and Katie…is hot already, but there’s nothing wrong with getting in shape and we get to listed to her huff, puff, squeak, and moan. For The Win. The Onnit Look Good Naked Challenge is for everyone who wants to look better naked (who doesn’t) and it’s done three days a week for three weeks, with each week adding on more cycles of the exercises…or reps..or whatever you call them (because I’m that dumb gym bunny who is not down with the lingo) and the exercises they did were rope slams, alternating plial lunges, rope alternating uppercuts, push-up free burpees, and ab boat rowing. We got to hear what Tully and Katie sound like in the sack (Katie sounds better) and both of them did a really good job. Josh should be doing the challenge so that he could be ready for the fight at Ellismania 9 he’s participating in in a week and a half, but he isn’t, because what’s the point when everyone is rooting for him to lose anyway? Whaaaaaaaaaaa. No, Josh, Tully and Ellis are on your side and really want you to win, they just know that you don’t take fitness seriously and you talk funny and you admittedly could be working a lot harder to get ready for the fight. Fuck the fight, anyway! You should be doing the challenge in preperation for the FuckFest taking place afterward (which you WILL need an Ellismania ticket to participate in, if interested) because that’s gonna take hella lotta cardio stamina to get through. Ellisfam doesn’t fuck around. At FuckFests. Or maybe, yeah?

Go get your Ellismania 9 tickets!!!! Time is running out!!!! You don’t want to miss it like me, do you?!?!?!?!?! Of course you don’t!!! Tickets are at Ticketmaster.com and I can tell you to go get them and go to Vegas because I don’t work for The Jason Ellis Show or SiriusXM. I don’t care if it’s your prerogative or not…go buy them and have a good time and meet the awesome fuckers from this site and party. You will have the oppurtunity to see Ellis fight Gabe Ruediger, Rawdog fight Nick Swardson, watch the prisoner fight, girl fight, leprechaun fight, musical chair fight, and more!!!!!!

There was a gathering in NYC of a crotch rocket club called the Hollywood Stuntz Race which resulted in some Ninja Knack Knack Champion of the World biker assholes chasing down a guy in a Range Rover where one of the bikers proceeded to break the driver’s side window with his helmet to pull the driver from the car and beat the ever loving shit out of him in front of his wife and toddler. Hmmmm…yes it’s true that the Range Rover put one of the biker’s in the hospital with some really bad injuries, but the biker in question was blocking in the RR and the driver was trying to get away. Bikers have a bad enough rep for no reason without bikers on crotch rockets giving them a reason. Seems like this involved a bunch of biker guys who were looking for a fight. In other bike news, apparently there are gangs of hipster bicyclists across the nation who are biking for their right to disobey traffic laws and ride drunk with police escorts so they don’t get hit while running red lights. Are you fucking kidding me? I agree with Tully, these people are fucktards who are angry with the world and are tying their anger to a pointless cause and wrecking it for themselves because they are assholes.

Wilson leads the guys in a game of Google Auto Complete Says What? with the theme of prejudices. We learn that the English speaking users of google are wondering about stinky french people, chinese cat food (made from cats), Jews refusing to shop at Hitler or leave Iran (NOT the Holy Land), Italians who don’t wear shorts, Koreans without souls, Japanese people who don’t say ‘I love you’, Indians who can’t say no or swim, Russians who don’t die, Aussie’s who all don’t like peanut butter (because they have the superior vegimite), and women who believe in wedge loafers. Will takes offense to google auto complete shining a light on the fact that people are asking google why white people have no lips, because he has kissable bee-stung lips that fix computer moniters with a single kiss.

During final calls (where none of the final calls were of show-ending standard) the conversation turned to Mia Farrow hinting at Frank Sinatra being her baby daddy instead of Woody Allen, Justin Bieber being carried on the shoulders of two black men on the Great Wall of China, and Miley Cyrus. Why they hell is there such an outrage about everything Miley does? Tully and Ellis bring up the point that there is nothing she is doing now that the other Disney Darlings weren’t doing ten years ago and that Madonna wasn’t doing 100 years ago (or however old she is). Rawdog thinks Sinead O’Connor has some good points in her open letter to Miley, which Miley dissed on twitter because she’s Miley and she’ll lick all of the hammers she wants while swinging naked on wrecking balls because that shit sells. Ellis is right, she knows what she’s doing and she knows what is going to keep people talking about her. The reason people freak out more about Miley? Because she was Hannah Montana and a billion 5 year olds want to do everything she does…she didn’t start out in a sexy school girl outfit or belly dancing her way out of a genie bottle, she started out wanting the Best of Both Worlds and doing the Hoedown Throwdown, so parents the world over don’t want their children witnessing what happens when someone grows up because they don’t want to be involved enough in their children’s lives to teach them right from wrong themselves.

If you have never seen the Boondock Saints, or if you haven’t seen it in a long time, go watch it on Netflix so you can know what everyone is talking about on the show on Monday. Rawdog and Tully have never seen the movie and have committed to watching it over the weekend and discussing it with Ellis on Monday’s show. Also, if you are a man or a woman who thinks they can beat out the current reigning Little Miss Jason Ellis, or if you are an unsigned band or an unsigned fart, show the guys what you have and send it to ellisparodies@gmail.com. Tomorrow, Ellis will be giving away tickets to Ellismania, so if you are going to Vegas and haven’t gotten your tickets, listen to the show tomorrow and score some freebies!!!!

Things we learned:

Mario Batali kept his restaurant open on 9/11 to fight terrorism

Tiggie threw Daddy under the bus at school for having a black eye

Ellis is driving to Ellismania and doesn’t need a plane ticket

If Ellis makes it to 80 he may just have 5 wives

Ellis’s grandfather was a tranny late in life and was damn happy because of it

ALL MEN HAVE PUSSIES…in their prostate

Katie likes Hanna Montana but hates that Miley stole her haircut

Terry Crewes is bumping asses with Dr. Oz (who looks like a zombie)

Hipster messenger bag bicyclists are fucking assholes

Stunt Riding on motorcycles is not a real sport

Ellis will kill american ninjas

Katy Perry is a better singer than Miley Cyrus

Ellis would give up everything he has to have his brother back