Monthly Archives: August 2012

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/16/2012

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I hear 90 is the new WTF

Good evening folks, hope you are all snuggled in by the fire with your hot coco and your snuggie. Oh wait, is summer, fuck that shit. I hope your naked in the pool, that’s more like it. Toady started off like a pyro in a fireworks shop, first they talked about dino on dino violence and how that shits uncool, but its a good thing they’re dead otherwise the violence would be out of control. Bam had Kat Von D on his show, if you heard it then you were the only one. Rawdog laid his man card on the table and told his girlfriend that the chaps are out and she hasn’t brought it up since. Jackie Stallone, Sylvester’s mom, is pretty hot for a 90 something broad. Don’t fucking cuss around your fucking kids otherwise the little shits will start talking like I fucking do. Chicks that fake orgasms are just ruining it for themselves, honestly, if your man can’t get you off, then he really doesn’t care to begin with. RawdiggidyDog doesn’t think that Cher is the ultra massive icon that she is, and instead of making the argument, I will just say that she is. It’s on the internet, that means it’s true.

In Drunk MMA Sasquatch News, Forrest Griffin will not retire from the MMA, at least not yet. There’s a kid in Texas that should be recruited by half the college football teams in the country right now. 12 year old Elijah Earnheartis 6’1″ and weighs 197lbs, he would

When is Sandra Bullock gonna get here?

dominate, at least until it was time for recess, but after that, WATCH OUT! Some jealous dude is suing Tommy Lee because he ripped of his idea for the upside down drums, but lets face it, only Tommy Lee could pull that off and this pud whacker is just jealous of his mad skills. Linden B Jhonson was the most Boss President ever, and some chick from some movie fucked the director and got canned from the sequal. Looks like its back to the casting couch for you!

The Church of Hayden has returned! That’s right ladies and fondlers, the number one famous celebrity and Emmy Award winning actor Thomas Hayden Church has arrived, again. Not only that but just before getting to the swinghouse, THC became the hero of one small throated man. This dude was choking on some pasta and like a hero, THC jumped in and gave him the Heimlich until the sweet sweet breath of life reentered his body. They also talked about movies, surfing, Marlon Brando, their Dads, and his new movie, Killer Joe, in a theater near you. If you missed the interview/guest appearance, our friend Cobra Tits has once again proven that he is the man, here’s the interview. At the end they played, Guess Who’s Nipple, and Josh lost. For losing Ellis got to pick someone out of his phone to text and as we hoped, Jason picked his girlfriend. Unfortunately they thought bitPimps suggestion was too mean (I will see you tomorrow, my girlfriend is being a bitch right now), and went with the confirmation that Josh WILL wear the “assless chaps.” I tried to get yer mum a pair of assless chaps once, but I felt bad after I found out how many cows they would have to kill to wrap them around her gigantic gelatinous thighs, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Cyn (@Cynister72)

  1. Where do you live? I straddle 2 Provinces, Ontario and Quebec, Canada (Outaouais region)
  2. What is your occupation? I dick punch Fucktards. Oh you mean for a living, I’m a Commercial Insurance Broker. Fun stuff!!
  3. What do you do on your spare time? Photography, read, run around like a goofball with my son, tweet nonsense on Twitter, hang with friends etc. The usual.
  4. What is your hobby or a hobby you would like to start? Photography is my one real hobby
  5.  What do you feel is your greatest achievement in life? Besides my son (because he is), moving across the country 3 times in 1 year, without losing my sanity and landing on both feet each time.
  6. What kind of adventure or trip would you like to do before you die? (Bucket List) I want to hog tie Ryan Reynolds and…ummm never mind, that’s private. Besides THAT, I would like to take a year off and sail around the world, truly see it and document it with photography.
  7. What’s your happiest moment? Can’t include having a child or children. An up close and personal encounter with 2 dolphins. It was the most awe inspiring experience I’ve ever had in my life. Yes I’m a geek, get over it.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I’m not a part of the #EllisFam but I have been lucky enough to have “met” you crazy folks! I love how you all come together for each other; it’s a rare thing in this day and age.  So thank you for allowing me to see & share in that. Hugs and kisses to all!

Aaron Hunzinger (@AHdidit)

  1. Where do you live?  I live in Evanston, IL (2 blocks north of Chicago’s city limit’s)
  2. What is your occupation? I am the youngest of the 5th generation in a family business.  We have an industrial fabric company called Evanston Awning Co. were we manufacture awnings, canopies, and misc. fabric structures for commercial and residential applications.  When my family first got involved in the fabric business we made wagon covers, saddle bags, harnesses and leather goods during the Manifest Destiny (…when settlers moved west).
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I build shit!  I dont read direction or instructions.  I do things my way.  If my way doesnt work…well…I dont really know.  I’ve never had anything NOT work. Being raised around metal and fabric my whole life and always being taught by my Dad to never give up and to always do my best. As well as being strongly influenced to try new things and to work for what I want.  It is because of these things that I now consider myself to be an artist.  I have taken what I do everyday and paved my own path while NOT leaving my roots.  Some of you may know, I build lamps.  I never make the same thing twice.  All of my lamps are 100% unique.  I love what I do.  I love my family.  I love my friends (especially the ones that are more like family).  I love my girlfriend (Megan Gwinnup).  I love that my family and friends support my crazy hobbies. I have MANY hobbies and/or things I spend my hard earned money on.  I have built 2 custom vehicles, more specifically I’ve built 2 minitrucks.  The one I cruise in these days is a full custom.  Bagged, shaved, and lay’d out…if you dont know, then you dont know.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since he was on with Tony.  …a long fuckin’ time ago.
  5. How did you discover TJES? When Ellis said something about how he was getting his own show.  I figured if it had to be “somewhat good” since he made me laugh on Tony’s show.  I figured right!
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Jason Ellis, Tully, and even Rawdog (but mostly Ellis) have become a HUGE motivating force in my life.  They keep me thinking positive.  Listening to Ellis “preach” and seeing what he has overcome in his own life and seeing what he has become.  How can that NOT be influential?
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? YES!  It used to be just that…a show that I listened to.  Then, one day my dentist told me that I had PRE-cancerous cells in my mouth from 13 years of smoking cigarettes.  I called the show and Ellis’ told me that I’m still young and that I have my WHOLE LIFE infront of me.  He told me “just stop” (smoking), so I did.  August 13th will be 3 years w/o a cigarette…cold turkey! 2 months after I quite smoking, my dad got cancer.  This is the point in my life where everything changes…  I saw my dad shrink to half of his normal weight.  He lost over 120 lbs.  My dad was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer (the same kind that killed Farrah Fawcet).  After his first emergency surgery he developed a “leak”.  This put him in the ICU for 5 days.  He was being kept alive by machines, from what I saw.  During those 5 days that my oldman was in a coma, Ellis got on the sunject of how it’s OK for dudes to cry sometimes.  That sometimes it’s absolutely necessary.  So, I called in again.  I told Ellis my story and I cried…and so did he.  He told me that my dad wanted me to be strong and to not stop fighting for him.  That’s what I did.  With the help of my 2 older brothers, my mom, and my family, we got my dad back to health.  My brothers and I went back to work.  The only difference now was that WE were running the show.  We had to teach ourselves things that our dad never did as far as how to run a business.  We’d worked at Evanston Awning Co. our whole lives but never did we have to run the entire operation.  Today is Thursday, August 2nd my dad is healthy, my family is stronger than ever and last year was our the best year in the history of our family business.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? For me, I feel that listening to TJES has helped change my whole out-look on life.  I don’t take anything for granted.  I take every opportunity that is put infront of me.  I give everything I do 100%, anything less is failure.  I consider TJES a FREE form of therapy.  It is also the best motivator for getting off my ass and getting shit done.
  9.  …also while my dad was sick Ellis was working on Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  That influenced me to also get into acting.  In a 3 month span, I did 3 movies and 1 TV show.  I had the opportunity to work with Matt Damen, Brian Cranston, Laurence Fishburn, Kevin James, and Vince Vaughn.  I got direction from all time greats Steven Soderbergh and Ron Howard.  The only reason I got into acting was to get my mind off of my dad being sick.  BUT, the pay sucks so…I’ll stick with the family business and making lamps. The Jason Ellis Show (including the crew) has helped ME make MY LIFE better.  I am and always will be a fan and supporter of Ellis and EllisFam.

Love all you mother fuckers

-RDS-

Aaron Hunzinger
AHdidit
https://www.facebook.com/AHdidit  http://twitter.com/AHdidit

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If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 8/15/2012

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Texting and driving, it can be dangerous, so remember, wait until you get to a stop light, but your beer in the cup holder and then text. That way you can do it safely. Word on the street is that Thomas Haden Church is back in town and he reclaimed his car. And in case you haven’t heard it’s not just any car, its a Porsche Supra Extra Turbo with built in jet packs and rocket launcher. Okay maybe not, but it is pretty fucking awesome. Josh’s load sharing girlfriend has yet again stepped up her game, now she wants to take Josh to a Goth Bar. But that’s not the really great part, she want’s him to wear assless chaps there. He made a joke of it and kinda said no, but she texted him again today (probably while driving) about it. I have a feeling that in the near future we will start seeing a more clumsy Josh, falling down stairs, hitting door knobs, you know, girl shit. Hell, even a gay Canadian bull riding cowboy wouldn’t wear assles chaps, and that’s straight from the horses mouth!

Are you a Porn Star? Do you know a Porn Star? Do you have rug burns on your dick because all you do is “get to know” Porn Stars? Well good news for you and your beaten meat, the Ellis Show is trying to get more porn stars on. Are you done groaning yet? I just hope that these will be entertaining and not just the usual ditsy girls that have a protein count that’s usually reserved for body builders. Speaking of Porn Stars, did you know that David “I ruined VanHalen” Lee Roth has a daughter in porn? Of course you didn’t, who pays attention to their names anyhow.

She’s got her fathers eyes.

Big Gay Baby is still married to Big Ass Kardashian, I think that he is throwing a fit over the prenup or some shit, I could care less, that douche canoe got more money for those two days than most people make in a few years. Will “was that lightning or just my shins in the sun” Pendarvis brought in a new game, Pop Culture Pop Quiz. Rawdog won, which means that Rawdog lost, anybody that knows that much about kid shows and doesn’t have kids shouldn’t be allowed near schools or parks. It would seem that there is a RedBull Conspiracy going on in the swinghouse. Someone put full cans of Redbull outside the fridge while putting the empty box in the fridge. Simple case of mistake, maybe someone got a little distracted? Fuck no! Teberculosis Bitch Navarro claims that he did what Pendo told him to and Pendavich says nay. Maybe we will never know, it will always be a mystery, that and those fucking magnets.

Dave Mustane is entertaining thousands of Asians with his political theory’s, which is a much better idea than doing it with his music. Some nasty skank girl got a tattoo on her butthole (yes I giggled when I typed butthole, try it). If you want, you can watch it, and if I know you, you do. In an effort to not wake up with a bondage mask on, Ellis had Josh try his pimp and on the part time call screeners  Erika Ashley (@Erika_Ash) and Jolene (@JoleneParties), and he proved that even for a little dude whose only 5’2″ (Ok, he’s more like 5’6-1/2″) that he knows how to treat a bitch when she steps out of line, even though we all know Erika could drop him with one swing. Tomorrow shall be quite interesting. Our favorite stylish sluts, Rachel and Sarah, did some final calls and we learned that Sarah is bleeding like a stuck pig and thats cool with her, more lube for the lovin. The rest of the final calls were average, like usual. That’s all for tonight folks, sorry but my best endings are in your moms ass, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

Posted on by
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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

ROOSTERCOCK! (@NickRoostercock)

  1. Where do you live? The Republic Nation Of Mole People
  2. What is your occupation? I get paid to drive around and blow my load.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I have an ex-model trophy wife, with 2 amazing little shit heads, that lucky enough, got their mothers looks. I’m a work aholic.
    I was once a drummer in a very shitty punk band, yet for some reason? Was able to play and make friends with very famous bands. My aunt (by marriage) is playboy playmate, miss july 1959. My uncle is retired vic prez of universal pictures. His son, my cousin, is a producer for futureama. Yet I drive a truck hahaha. My last name means rooster in dutch, and in my younger days I was a real dick so my friends put it together and that was the birth of Roostercock.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? About 5 or 6 years now?
  5. How did you discover TJES? I was talking with my buddy brownie after I just got my xm and he turned me on to it.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? The fact that I have a lot of identical storys as Jason but I was a drummer not a skater.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Very much so! Jason via (and most famous on twitter for) DM’s, helped me threw some very difficult decisions I had to make. Which is why I believe he put me in for EM7. He knew I owed him and would not disappoint.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? My full name is Nicholas Arie DenHaan. Nicholas, Arie ( means harry in dutch), DenHaan ( means Rooster in dutch) Nicholas Harry Rooster. This is something I must live with for the rest of my life hahaha

Jeff G 中 (@jakejeff)

  1. Where do you live? Hamilton Ontario Canada. 
  2. What is your occupation? Buyer for a Big box retail store until I broke me back/neck. Goal is to work again by 2013 :)
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. 6 years ago I broke my neck and back. I didn’t walk for 5+ years. Had a bad pain killer addiction all those years. In March I quit all pain killers and worked my ass off to walk again. As of today I walk 15 km a day. And have lost 75 lbs. Dr. Told me I would never walk again. Fuck him!! :)
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since Ellis was on Stern the first time.
  5. How did you discover TJES? Howard Stern appearance. 
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Definitely the Canada trash talk :) and the + message. 
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? The message of HTFU changed everything and #ellisfam support eh!
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Fuck Tully :) Anyone can htfu and change!! I was at the bottom more depressed and addicted then anyone! Now I’m HAPPY and Getting healthy! Thanks #ellisfam #muskakills

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.