Monthly Archives: August 2012

Show Re-cap For Friday 8/31/2012

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Did I won?

It’s Friday, and I can put it in your motherfuckin’ mouth, I mean if you like. Okay, just let me know I guess. Sharks don’t ever enjoy anything, they don’t like the taste of fish, people, or probably even weed – they’re just terrifying. Ellis went to go surfing today, there were no waves, and then there were waves, and then there was a hot Asian chick on a long board. Get all that? Good! Rawdog is the guy who doesn’t like liking things, which includes pretty much everything except nuggets, hot pockets, ice tea, and weed. Hey, if you say “bathing suit” or “swim suit” – you’re “out of the loop” cuz that shit’s gonna change, it needs to change, it’s time for a new name – and less quote usage from me. I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who woke up this morning thinking about how in the blue fuck you could honestly masturbate with shit. That’s just fucked up no matter how you slice lather it, you’re looked at in the same light as a murderer.

Doors, how do they work?

Exciting news, a fucking tornado was spotted in my area on radar and by a trained spotter, my phone’s banging out alerts and the local sirens are going off. I’m sitting here tweeting and taking notes on the fuckin’ re-cap – for you – for YOU! The DogFather (who is now selling fortune cookies) and some dude named Matt (who is a Navy Cytologist) came on the show today. There were more speech impediments fwying awound than in that “special” cwass you were in at gwade school. In “Women, Am I Right” news, 50 people wasted half the fucking day looking for a missing woman, whom was also part of the fucking search party. What a twat. There was certainly no shortage of articles for this segment today, but I’m not re-typing all that shit. Just go to CNN or something, I’m sure half that site is filled with dumb bitches making amazing news stories.

I’m not gonna lie…

There were several dudes that called in today to say that they can’t finish while fucking their really super hot wives, they take the Rawdog method and finish later by themselves. You, sirs, are suspects. Some Canadians stole a shitload of maple syrup from the strategic maple syrup reserves, threatening to disrupt the global market on maple fucking syrup. USA? Oil reserves. Canada? Maple syrup reserves. And IBM presents, you make the call. Mia Isabella, a transvestite porn star who Ellis and Rawdog say is hot as fuck, stopped by the show today. At the age of 4 she told her parents she was a girl, got her tits done at age 18, she’s from America but of French, Puerto Rican, & Jamaican decent, and has a full line of transvestite sex toys. The guys played a speed dating game with her, and I can honestly say I never want to hear Ellis whisper hitting on a chick, ever again. Rawdog’s technique sounded exactly like a radio interview – go figure, Tully’s sounded like what you’d think, and Charles the intern sounded like an overly confident, unattractive, fat guy with herpes.

You cannot vote for this… thing.

Clint Eastwood spoke at the RNC last night, looking and sounding old, and making an utter fool of himself as he miserably tried to poke fun at Obama and make jokes. I think the best thing he said was how conservatives don’t go out “hot doggin’ it”, I laughed like a little school girl at that because to me, hot doggin’ means to stick your dick between a girls two ass cheeks and start pumpin’. The guys watched one of the videos I sent of this chick flipping out on a New York City subway train, and then they went to town watching about 4 others that Rawdog found after watching the first one. Most of them have made their rounds on the Internet, but they’re still kinda fun to watch. If I find the time and motivation, maybe I’ll hunt down the links for you – but don’t hold your breath. Unless you want to, just don’t blame me if you get a headache or die or something like that.

Is this racist?

And here we go again, I just got home and more tornado alerts and sirens. Do you see? See how much I love you guys? I heard one of the best callers in awhile on the show, he said Canadian’s should have their babies in the mud – and he might be on to something there. But then, the dumbest caller of the called on to say everyone else was dumb, so naturally, he got motherfuckin shot in the dome, split his wig, sprayed noodles, blasted, etc. Lesson’s from today’s show are? Well, there’s a lot, some were touched on in this re-cap, some from yesterday’s re-cap, and the rest? You’re just gonna have to hope you don’t do them. One extra lesson I can share with you though is, do not – under any circumstances, eat anything your mother cooks for you, she snowball’s into everything she cooks. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

pinkpranger (@PinkPRanger)

  1. Where do you live? I live 10 minutes North of Seattle in Washington state.
  2. What is your occupation? I work at large electronics company. We make Ultrasound machines, Sonicare is here, and difibulators.  Hopefully I will be changing occupations in the next month.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. – I am a 24 year old with 14 years of experience. Surf, snow skate. Anything on a board. I live in an area where all these are accessable.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? I got Sirius 5 years ago for Howard. After Artie left I got bored. Around the time when Tully was still Cow-fucker.
  5. How did you discover TJES? It was the #1 show on TSS radio, so I had to check it out.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? It’s the future. Tully’s quick wit, and Oxford smarts, Josh is NEEDED for the show. The way they all interact is the greatest thing ever. I am never in a bad mood if I am listening to the show. And it goes without saying, but Jason is awesome.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? For one thing it’s made me a nicer person to be around. It puts me in a good mood which saves me from going ape shit on employees/girlfriends/etc. EM8 was my first and I had no idea it would be as great as it was. From the minute I met my first out aof stat ellisfam brother Victor “wolfknife oscar de la hoya) it seemed ten minutes passed and the entire hotel was over-run by ellisfam. It seemed like we all knew each other. Everyone was friendly to everyone. (except the chick from Red Dear that slapped me for making fun of Canada). I can say without question it was the best time I have ever had. The show has also motivated me to eat better and get excersize that doesn’t involve a board. Cut down on the drinking. etc.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Long live tully, Fuck Canada.

Al lindsay (@ReddogRacing69)

  1. Where do you live? I live east of Calgary but work in northern Alberta
  2. What is your occupation? Shovel operator for a oil sands mine
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I’m 43 years old about to get married for a second time to a awesome girl. my father died from drinking and I find myself very aware of addictions and came very close to falling into the same pattern as my father.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Been listening since he was saying radome shit between songs. Listened to faction waiting for the songs to end just to hear what he said next
  5. How did you discover TJES? Faction.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? I can relate a lot to what he s gone threw in his personal life.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Harden the fuck up. I can get down on myself sometimes on really stupid shit. So I harden the fuck up
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Ellis needs to do a ellismania in Calgary

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

 

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/30/2012

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I guess today is the second best thing to Friday, but it sure beats the hell out of Monday. Do you know who the coolest successful Asian dude is? I can’t really think of one, there

Coolest dude ever!

are successful Asians, and there are, well, there are successful Asians. Off the top of my head I cannot think of any that are really that cool, someone that I would be stoked to hang with. Rawdog thinks the dude from the Hangover is cool but that’s because its Rawdog and his thinking is less than cool at times. This started todays show theme of coolness, whos cool, how to be cool, and whats cool. Heres a guide, it has pictures. And no I didn’t read it, I’m already the coolest mother fucker writing this re-cap right now! The coolest god would probably be Buddah, he probably smokes and knows where to get great food. The coolest dude is probably Johnny Depp because bitches want to get all up on his shit. And the coolest dudes on Twitter are probably @bitPimps and @Mike_in_Canada. BitMike2012!

Chris Humphries might have given his alleged big gay baby herpes to some alleged massive slut allegedly. He denies giving it to her which only means one thing, big gay baby has herpes allegedly. Some 100 year old dude backed through a bunch of people and kids and sparked the conversation of what we should do with our creepy smelly elders? Some of the ideas were to use them as a food source, use them for energy, put them into a demolition derby because they already fuck the shit out of their cars now, and get them all hopped up on some good shit and drop them into a war to “take one for the team.” But no matter what we should truly cherish our elders because with out them we wouldn’t know…..hmm, I got nothing. Carry on.

Aaliyah Love was in the studio today and she is a porn star who was apart of the 3000 frames per second shoot for Ellismania.com and so she gets to plug her shit and we all get to sit back and wait until she’s gone. But being a good sport here is what they talked about, porn, boobs, cam girl, shaving, boobs, putting things in, snowballing, squirting, masturbation, shit, shitting while masturbating, masturbating with shit, you know, the usual stuff.

There will be a Town Hall Question something something with Tony Hawk and SiriusXM sometime soon after the Ellis Show, you should check your local listings because I can’t find shit, and honestly I didn’t look very hard. But check it out! Will came in with his earth shattering observation that he believs that Sunday Morning Coming Down is one of the greatest songs ever. I listen to country and it’s a good song, but not one of the greatest, shame on you Will. Whats up with Pussy Riot? If you care click the link, fuck, I didn’t know who they were until now, and I still don’t give a shit but there you go, thats the kind of awesome dude I am. Vince Vaughn will bitch out if Jack Nicholson enters the room, Christopher Walken is probably a really awesome dude to chill with, and in case you didn’t know, Christopher Walken got his hair style from yer mum, after she dropped her pants, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

中 Cody D 中 (@Fuckasaurus_RDS)

  1. Where do you live? Texas
  2. What is your occupation? Professional Archaeologist
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Married to the lovely Amber D and we have three boxers. I am Jeep Wrangler and outdoor enthusiast. I am also a bit of a gaming and comic book nerd. I have a Red Dragons tattoo on my leg that I got in 2009 after I got my Master’s Degree. Hope to get a Wolfknives tattoo soon.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since 2008
  5. How did you discover TJES? Bought my new Jeep and was looking for a good punk rock station to listen to Bad Religion and found Ellis, haven’t changed the channel since.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Everything! The motivation and comedy Jason provides, the intellect and comedy Tully adds and the holy shit did Rawdawg just say or do that stupid shit, pretty much sums it up.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Jason has motivated me to be healthier and live a more active lifestyle to the fullest.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I am curious how many other EllisFam are Wrangler and boxer owners. There seems to be a lot according to my Instagram. Also RED DRAGONS and WOLFKNIVES4LIFE to the EllisFam! You all rule!

Will (@itswillbitches)

  1. Where do you live? Calgary, Alberta Canada
  2. What is your occupation? I drive a truck and deliver food and supplies to any food establishment of whom has an account with us. Some of our larger accounts include Tim Horton’s, Starbucks and A&W. I am a chef by trade and have worked in the hospitality industry all my life. As fun as it is to live like a rock star it’s not one that you can maintain for very long. If you have worked in the industry, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I love driving a truck because well, what guy doesn’t think large trucks are cool and this job is stress free compared to what I was accustomed.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I’m 31, single and ready to mingle. I like long walks on the beach, watching the sunset and spending quality time with your mom. She thinks I’m funny. I’ve adopted a healthy lifestyle and have lost over 50lbs. I enjoy watching sports and am a huge Seahawks fan. I also like to pretend that my truck is a light pink unicorn that I ride on roads of rainbows and the food that I deliver are cupcakes that it shits out.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? I have listened since the merge but only seriously listened since around the time of Ellismania 6.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I discovered the show just after the merge, so Ellismania 5. We were listening to Faction in the kitchen and the show came on. At that time I only knew it was a talk show so we would change the station almost immediately. Then one day we were too busy to change it and were forced to listen. As you can imagine we were surprised by what was being said and couldn’t stop laughing.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? I like to laugh so the hilarity that ensues keeps me coming back, that and the fact that all the tweets on my TL do not make sense otherwise.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? The show has impacted my life in several ways. I was always a big fan of the monologue that Jason would do at the beginning of the show about some epiphany he had about life or his family. At the time I was using several substances that would bring me to pure enlightenment in a spiritual sense so I could really relate to his story. That being said, the show has helped me to achieve enlightenment without the help of said substances and also is the reason for adopting a healthy lifestyle.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Follow me on twitter @itswillbitches and only pure awesomeness allowed.

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.