Hells to the fuckin’ yeah!

It’s Monday, everyone have a good weekend? Good, glad to hear it. Nobody really cares though, they’re all waiting for a sweet-ass re-cap from yours truly (that’s me). See how that shit works? Yea, me neither. N E WAY, WUDINIT SUCK IFA LITL GURL DID THE RECAPS? God, I’m sorry. It sounded funny in my head, but I can’t even type like that without my eye and asshole twitching. Let’s just get into the show and forget all that shit I just typed, m’kay? Dingo the doggie nutsack toucher was on the show today and revealed a couple of his farts that he recorded on his phone, they were weak in the pants. Good news guys with little dicks, you may not realize it, but you’re probably better off because at least your whole penis fits inside, rather than hitting the stop sign and only being half way in. But I’m sure dick issues don’t apply to any of you. More dick talk, specifically Ellis and his dick on the Internet and that’s about all the dick talk I’m comfortable writing about in a single re-cap.

Love ’em & leave ’em, Rawdog

Rawdog went out on his date over the weekend, and apparently it showed because the guys could see he had some sort of sore on his mouth. Turns out it probably isn’t the herps, but was more likely from the chick biting his lip. The odd thing is that he hadn’t ever noticed the sore until it was pointed out during the show. So they never did get a chance to eat mac-n-cheese or watch Arrested Development, and when asked if went to bed hungry, his response was, “I got to eat a little bit, you can read between the lines” and it was also revealed that he got his pee pee sucked on! Our little Man-Boy is growing up right before our ears, I think I can hear cheering in the distance. Tully took some drugs this weekend, his wife’s pain killers because he had a boo-boo or something, right when the pills were kicking in he heard his neighbor yelling “HELP ME! SOMEBODY, HELP ME!” so Tully dialed 911. Cops went over there and took someone out on a stretcher, alive, but that’s about all he knows. As you could imagine, that was enough to kill his buzz and so he went and did laundry.

Dude, am I a horrible fad?

Some chick that has been harassing Ellis to get with him said she was going to come over to see him and he ended up getting stood up. But that seemed to be a good thing, because they traded saucy pictures and apparently she has a big-ole clithood and it’s being questioned if he actually knows this chick. It might be the girlfriend of a really good friend of his, but it also goes to show that he doesn’t know this chick very well at all. Sounds like a case of… Risky Business. YEEAAAAHH! During the “Dude Am I Slut?” segment, the one that stuck out the most was this chick that had picked up a guy at a bar and had sex for 36 hours. She carries around a bag full of sex toys, she squirts so hard it pushes cocks out of her vag, and claims she came around over two-hundred times. She had quite a few stories about all her fucking and sucking habits, toys, etc. and in the end admitted that it was all fake, she called in because the guys were bored. Even though the story was fake, I have to give her props for making up such a wild story that included pissing a dude’s cock out of her snatch. This story may have been fake, but this question isn’t… What’s the difference between your mom and a hockey player? The hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods. OH!

And that’s a wrap!