Monthly Archives: March 2012

Show Re-cap For Thursday 3/15/2012

Posted on by
2

Jager BeardHey, hey, hey, it’s fuckin’ Thursday! Did you read that in Fat Albert’s voice? Because I typed it in his voice, so I hope you did. Otherwise it’s just not as funny, it’s like being barefoot and stepping in a fresh dog turd. Today is the day Tully and Rawdog (aka JagerBeard) get plastered on the show in preparation for tomorrow’s show, where they test out “Forgiven”, a supposed hangover cure by TJ Lavin. Tully said he’ll drink later tonight, understandable since he does have a new born baby at home. I mean, it’s way more fun to drink and juggle children than it is to just hold them in a sober state. (<= That’s a joke right there, and for the record I would like to say that I am against drunken baby juggling. Paid for by the committee for more bitPimps in your rectal area.) Today is also the @DanOD5 show, he produces the entire show, coming up with ideas, bits, games, etc. for the guys to do on air.

Jager BeardIn other news, EllisMania 8 is still June 23rd, and I assume will not be live on HDNet, I hope you’re happy everyone who already scheduled your vacations and purchased your hotel rooms, I won’t be able to see it live. I see how it is, fuck me – that’s real nice, real nice. So one of the segments was to take Dan’s phone and call someone in his contacts list, apparently he had some lovey dovey texts to someone he called “poopy face” or “mud butt” er wait, yes, it was “poopy face”. Dan’s cute-o-meter just exploded, all over the place with glitter, streamers, and party hats. Another number was labeled Wang Kong – sounds like a powerful name, but we’ll never know because it went to voicemail. I’m just going to pretend that he was busy fighting Godzilla or buying black market shark fin soup.

Jager BeardJagerBeard, being the gnarly pirate that he is, needed some pudding to take the “Forgiven” pills. Yes, this is the same man that creepily whispers “pussy” to the audiences of the world and calls Tony Hawk’s ramp “rickety” right to his face. Hard. Core. Mother. Fucker. Tully made a spot on observation, claiming he looked less like JagerBeard and more like Slick Rick! That fucking Tully guy, he’s hilarious and if that didn’t make you laugh, then you’re dead on the inside. Poor JagerBeard. The ChexMix chasers caught up to him and he started feeling pretty ill, they had to get the emergency puke bucket but there was no real hurlage, just a bit of a squirt of vomit. If you’ve never heard JagerBeard before, you’re life is incomplete, no words can describe how awesome he is.

And… no, we’re not done here just yet… starting tomorrow, and every Friday from here are on out, in the morning there will be a 2 hour (I believe) “best of” hosted by Rawdog and Rawdog only. Then, at normal afternoon time, the show will be live! That’s right errbody, wipe the stank off your hang down and polish off your ball gags! Seriously, do it! If you do it, I’ll do it. I’m going to be having my hang down de-stanked and my balls gagged on by your mom. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 3/14/2012

Posted on by
2

Happy Steak and BJ Day! The guy that thought this up is either a genius (doubt it) or have some really high expectations (and lives with his mom).  Ellis changed the date for Ellismania 8, again.  Raise your hand if your surprised by this, no, no one. Ok lets continue then. He said that there is a chance that it can get on some HDNet TV thing so that everyone can see it, even the Canadians, who apparently need the HD due to their beady eyes. Oh, Lindsay Lohan hit some dude, tried to change seats, was fucked up, bla bla bla, who the fuck cares anyway.  Moving on.

Ellis talked to Kit Cope @KitCope and it sounds like Kit is going to fight some of the Ellis Fam in a flag football leg kick type of thing, I’m not too sure, I was looking at, umm, photography.  Blame my ADD.  But on the bright side Cogdeth @Cogdeth is probably going to be getting a new set of crutches. Congratulations to you.  While on the subject of EM8, Big B @OGEverlast will be playing and there’s still plans for a bikini contest.  If any girls would like me to help in any way please contact me.

After much of this nonsense and shenanigans shit got deep.  Ellis tried to offer Josh his Audi to help him financially but Josh refused saying that he doesn’t feel right taking the car from Ellis. Josh is starting to run out of money and he is beginning to get worried that the higher-ups at Sirius aren’t going to offer him a job, but Tully thinks otherwise.  Lets all hope Tully is right.  I think the show would suffer great loss if Josh left.

And on today’s Worlds Greatest Wednesday top 10:

1.Nothing

2.Nothing

3.Nothing

Fuck this you get the idea.

Then finally the guys talked about vacation, take it sooner or later, either way it doesn’t matter we will be treated with The Best Of Ellis, face it, even hearing the same bit for the 20th time is still funny, kinda, sometimes, ok maybe not.  But vacation is vacation, much like the million of tourists that vacation through you mums massive cavernous vagina! OH!

 

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 3/13/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Today, Ellis is on steroids, Rawdog is stressed, Tully is a beautiful man, Jude is inside your sister, and you ingest large quantities of semen. Sad news, Ellis got an email last night, he has been invited to be a judge at a Hooter’s bikini contest in Miami – and the sad part was that it is on the same date as EllisMania 8. Shout out to @emilyinSD for sending in a horrific story of an ultra-Orthadox Jewish man who performs circumcisions and then uses his mouth to clean the baby’s penis wound. Go throw up and when you get back, jump down to the next paragraph where we’ll be talking about something else.

It was new music day today, I don’t have a full list but I’ll make a few quick comments. Meat Loaf’s new music sounded like a two dicks were going to be touching each other. Say Anything (was that their name) sounded like Death Cab for Cutie so very emo. Cannibal Corpse sounded like your typical death metal warble garble. Moving on, there was talk about the different fights that are happening at EM8. One of which was the “husband and wife” fight, which I’m taking full credit for as I had suggested that via Twitter ages ago (December 15, 2011) and Tully liked the idea. How do I know for sure? Because I remember when my ego gets a boner and because my OCD made me go look up dates. Anyway, that’s unimportant. The important thing is it looks like it might be happening and I know @e3guzman (December 16, 2011) and @Hollow_NorCal (December 28, 2011) have been pushing for it.

And that does it for the show, this re-cap, your sister’s smoked out clit, your empty keg of semen, and your mom’s micro erection after become a ladyboy. OH!